Since finding out about, and deciding VSG was the right surgery for me back in August I knew that I would have to wait until after the 1st of the year to really get the ball rolling on the surgery due to finances.

I initially decided on a doc, but the program fee charged plus my out of pocket maximum for my Blue cross PPO would put my out of pocket expense @ $9200 at a minimum....no F'n way I could or would swing that amount at this point in my life. After a few more seminars I have finally decided on Dr. Kelvin Higa of ALSA medical group in Fresno Ca.

I did my labs and chest x-rays last Wednesday, and have my PCP appointment tomorrow @ 7:30am. I normally go to the FNP that works for the the doctor I am seeing tomorrow, but I guess he has to be the one that says I am a good candidate for bariatric surgery. My 1st appointment with Higa is on this Saturday, and my EGD is scheduled for next Wednesday. After Dr. Higa approves me as a patient I can use the Psych and Nutritionist @ Fresno Heart and Surgical free of charge. Hopefully everything is banged out before the end of January and I can get a Blue Cross approval and surgery date for the end of February.(Crossing fingers & praying)

Since my PCP appointment I have had a ton of anxiety now since this is actually moving along.I'm not scared to the point of backing out(never will be either), but I feel like a 5'11 365lb 31 year old baby... I'm a worrier at heart but this is getting pretty tough. I have two little kids (5 and 2) that I'm afraid of leaving fatherless...I have faith that I will get through this ok, but it still scares the @$#% out of me. Did anybody else have this much anxiety before surgery? If so what did you do to cope with it? I really want to get my mind right for this so I don't end up being rolled into surgery crying like a big baby.

I don't post much on here, but I would like to thank everybody for your stories, information and support given. It is such a great resource for people, and hopefully after I am sleeved I can become as big of a provider of help and information as the rest of you folks are.

Dear Rob--

My surgery is Thursday and I leave for Mexico tomorrow. As a self-pay, it's been about a month since I decided on VSG and got an appointment. After I made the deposit I got the shakes I was so nervous. I have alternated between excitement, terror, resignation, and calm. I also got really sentimental and somewhat maudlin, cried at a TV commercial for Cereal, for God's sake, and I'm not usually a crier. I am not afraid of dying or complications but of failure at yet another weight loss solution. I think I'm also afraid I might be hungry all the time and I would hate that, I'm hoping hunger goes away.

I found taking walks and just being outdoors helpful. I have a good friend I talked to about my fears and I talked to the dog.

Tonight I am pretty calm and looking forward to the surgery being over and working to lose my weight by keeping a food journal, staying on program, and exercising when I get the okay.

My advice is, keep your eye on the goal and know that the moods are temporary.

Best wishes,

Rachel

I understand your anxiety. I was thinking back to when I had all my appointments rolling, would I pass this, would that doctor find something else. When I got the final clearance from the lung doctor I sighed a breath of relief and then I DID A HAPPY DANCE! Waiting for the doctors office to give a a date felt like eternity!

I think there is just "something" about the fact that this is an optional surgery. That we are willing to do this to ourselves, that gives us anxiety.

For instance, if I had breast cancer and a dr. said "the best way to deal is to get rid of them surgically" I'm sure I would have some anxiety and fear (and lots of tears), but mostly I would be fearing what might happen if I didn't go through with the surgery.

So in order for me to deal with some of that fear, in regards to the VSG, I had to think logically about what being morbidly obese might end up costing me in the long run. I have a wonderful family, a super husband, 2 girls that I adore, and I decided I could slip further and further into a life of obesity and any number of you-name-it diseases that seem to attack the obese population (diabetes/hypertension runs in my family), OR I could do this surgery now, committ to a healthier lifestyle now and enjoy being around my family for a long time to come.

The choice to have surgery, by far was the most difficult decision I have ever had to make, but I wouldn't change any of it. And once I made my mind up, there was no going back. I was not crying as I was getting wheeled back to the OR, rather thinking, let's get this show on the road!

One thing that was comforting to me was all the research I had done prior to surgery. I had a 6 month insurance-imposed wait time, which gave me lots of time to think and research and I'm so glad now that I had to wait 6 months. I think the feelings of fear and anxiety are normal, but try to picture yourself 10 years from now at your current (or all time high) weight and then picture yourself 10 years from now at a normal weight. I was definitely more afraid of living the next 10 years in a morbidly obese body.

I was very much like you as my date approached. I was excited to begin the journey, but so scared of complications and the actual surgery.

I also traveled for my surgery so while I had completed phone consultations, I had never met my surgeon until the day prior to my surgery. He was AMAZING! He has such a great bedside manner & was patient and educated when answering all my last minute questions. His assurance and faith in his skills calmed me immediately. I went into surgery as cool as a cucumber (which is really surprising since I'm never "cool" when it comes to big stuff!)

You are experiencing very natural emtions ... as you work through the process and learn more, your head will catch up. Your heart still might be a little nervous, but that is ok!

Good luck on your journey.

Update-

Met with my PCP. He was a good guy, and supportive of my decision for VSG. He wasn't familiar with it but after giving him the run down he said it sound like a much better option for people then the RNY which he has witnessed many patients with Vitamin deficiencies, and other issues related to the surgery. My labs and chest xray where good, minus my good cholestorol was to low so he told me to start taking fish oil to bump it up. The bad was during the visit I had a ekg which came up abnormal He scheduled me for a trip to the cardiologist and a eye doctor for my diabetic check up(wtf does that have to do with getting signed off for vsg?)

Met with Dr. Higa who I really got a good vibe from. He wasn't anti VSG, but had questions why I was choosing VSG. I think he was impressed with my knowledge of all the pro's and con's of each type of surgery, and sent me off with my checklist to get signed off for surgery. His staff got my referals for psyche, nutrion, and esophigial manometry. I will be doing the manometry on the 7th, the nutrion on the 8th and my psyche on the 10th.

I had my second appt. with the cardioligist for my echo today since the his in office ekg also came up abnormal . He said he wasn't worried that it would be really weird for me to have any major complications at my age even though I am morbidly obese. Sooooo I get the results for the echo Thursday, hopefully it is clean and I can goto my pcp appt. Fri and tell him to sign my a$$ off for surgery. If that happens, and I can breeze through the 7th, 8th and 10th I hope to have a surgery date by the end of Feb or possibly the begining of March. I was hoping to be under 300lbs by my Bday at the end of March but it looks like that won't happen.

I'm still super stressed about the surgery but for right now my heart is my main concern. No matter what anybody tells me untill I get the clean bill of health in that regard I'm going to be a wreck like I've been the past 2 weeks. I'm keeping my fingers crossed and praying that all is well, and that this won't slow me down too much.

Thanks for reading.

My echo turned out fine, and my PCP has cleared me for surgery! Only a few more hoops to jump through!!

I had an EKG scare too, it came back with "low voltage" I was like great, my heart is going to need a jump start. After being sent to two more doctors, that I had to pay for, they decided it was the EKG machine that had low voltage reading due a bad sticker placement!

Did my nutrition class and esophigial manometry + 24hr ph study. The manometry and ph study sucked but it is over. Now on to my psych exam tomorrow and hopefully insurance approval and a date soon.