I've been thinking awfully hard about what I want to say when people start asking how I lost my weight. Really, it's none of their business, but I just want to be dismissive and end the conversation as soon as it starts. I think I'm going to say "I have a metabolic disorder and it's been corrected along with a low calorie diet." I'm hoping that'll be enough. I really don't want to share what I've done. Must be a fat person thing, always on the defensive.....lol. Now, the only thing that will compound that is, my husband is also having the surgery on the same day....HAHA! My excuse may not work.

I've been thinking awfully hard about what I want to say when people start asking how I lost my weight. Really, it's none of their business, but I just want to be dismissive and end the conversation as soon as it starts. I think I'm going to say "I have a metabolic disorder and it's been corrected along with a low calorie diet." I'm hoping that'll be enough. I really don't want to share what I've done. Must be a fat person thing, always on the defensive.....lol. Now, the only thing that will compound that is, my husband is also having the surgery on the same day....HAHA! My excuse may not work.

I think you can easily say that you AND your husband are on a low carb diet. I know what you mean about being defensive. I really feel the same way right now. I don't know if that might change post-op, but for now, I don't want to tell the world. I figure I will have enough challenges without worrying about being judged for having WLS. On the other hand, I don't want to feel like I have to hide what I think is a good and healthy choice. I think at least at first, it's not a bad idea to keep it close to the vest.

It is an extremely personal choice that you have to make whether to tell or not to tell. I have decided to stop worrying about it now and deal with it on a case by case basis as the questions start popping up.

With judgmental family (other then the ones I told pre-op) I am going to tell them I had surgery and basically say that if they support me then we can discuss it further but if not then there is nothing else to talk about. And *try* to leave it at that.

Most of my friends know and support me already... I was astonished that 99% of them were totally on board from the day that I first brought up wanting surgery.

The people that I though would try to lecture me just said that they trusted my research and would stand behind anything I decided to to.

Letting people in can be EXTREMELY difficult but once you do you will be amazed at how many people truly do support any decision you make. They are your friends for a reason. Family may be more difficult but we don't choose our family... we choose friends to be in our lives for a reason and this is a time where they can be very crucial in giving you the support you may need. Even though they dont know what they are talking about most times.. if they are willing to listen to your ups and downs it has a hugely positive impact. :-)

As for coworkers or others that haven't see you in years... (but you really we never that close to to begin with) ... I think it is easier to just say something along the lines of "Ive just been watching my portion size and working hard in the gym"

The only time I may go into more detail is if it is someone who is obese and is asking questions because they are truly lost and have tried everything like I had.... I wouldn't feel right keeping this a secret or hiding what could ultimantly help save their life like it did for me.

Hope my opinion helps you in some way.

Please dont be afraid to lean on friends for support. Remember *You chose to have them in your life for a reason.*

I've been losing weight as part of my pre-op plan and telling people that "I cut out the carbs" really seems to work well. The response is usually a weird look and something like, "Oh...I can't do that, I have to eat bread!" and they never ask me about it again. When people comment that I look like I lost weight I also say, "Really? I don't think so...I hadn't really noticed.." and that stops the conversation as well. Technically, it's not lying!

My family all know, so that hasn't been an issue for me. For strangers and co-workers, I tell the truth - that I've reduced my portion sizes and am exercising. I didn't say it was the "whole truth".....

My family and best friend know the facts. I have one close friend I haven't been honest with mostly because although I know she'd support me, she has been known to have a big mouth and I don't want it to get around work etc.

Strangers or people at work I'm not friends with - I have said "I don't really feel comfortable discussing my weight with you". I'd rather stand up for my decision and tell them it's none of their business than make something up.

I've been thinking awfully hard about what I want to say when people start asking how I lost my weight. Really, it's none of their business, but I just want to be dismissive and end the conversation as soon as it starts. I think I'm going to say "I have a metabolic disorder and it's been corrected along with a low calorie diet." I'm hoping that'll be enough. I really don't want to share what I've done. Must be a fat person thing, always on the defensive.....lol. Now, the only thing that will compound that is, my husband is also having the surgery on the same day....HAHA! My excuse may not work.

My BIG DAY is January 13. I have been telling everyone and their cousin about the decision I have made. Well....friends and co-workers at least. Everyone has been happy for me and has offered tremendous emotional support. They realize what a big deal it is and that it is not the "easy way out." Instead of feeling judged I have felt supported. I realize there will be lots of folks asking about how I'm losing weight once it starts happening and it will be annoying. If it is someone I don't know or who I don't think should be all up in my business will probably get something like..."Oh, you don't have time to hear all about it." And if they say they do, I'll direct them to my blog.

Good luck! Be proud!

=-)

ThatDudesMom

I'm kind of in the same boat. I don't want to be the WLS guy for the rest of my life. As of right now only three people know, my folks and my baby sister and I intend to keep it that way.

I get sleeved January11th. I have told only my close friends for hoping for support and my teenage children because I want to stay honest with them. There's only two more people that I care to tell ahead of surgeryand they are family. I guess I was embarrased at first that it has come to this. I'm slowly dealing with not feeling guilty. After the succesful surgery Not sure how I will explain my weightoss. Probally portion control and exersize to my clients not sure on giving full details we'll deal with that latter

I'm telling everyone that I am having a bleeding peptic ulcer. Basically the same surgery, same side effects, same scars. Partial Gastrectomy's are common to remove bledding ulcers, benign tumors, and cancer. I figure faking an ulcer is the least offensive.

I fretted before my surgery who to to tell what, I found it all to draining. I decided to be straight forward with the folks who know me and work with me. As far as someone I might run into that does not know and chances are I really won't see them for a long time to come,,, I will just say hard work.

The simple fact is I was fat and those around me know it, and that is what I should be embarrassed about. Helping ones self is never anything to be ashamed of!

My whole family knows, everyone I work with knows, and some close friends know. It gets trickier for me at work...I work in a physical therapy clinic where probably at least a third of our patients (actually, it may be closer to half) are returning patients who may have been with us multiple times over the years--some of them go back 15-16 years, so they know us well. That makes the surprised "OMG!" comments when they return inevitable. My co-workers were under strict instructions from the beginning not to be blabbing about my surgery with the patients, or talking about it out in the gym where everyone is, just because I don't want the attention directed at me like that and I don't want to have to deal with a thousand comments and questions. BUT, some of those people who I know well and like a lot, I've told and I haven't ever, in the 11 months since surgery, had one single negative comment about it. When someone I really don't know asks, which happened yesterday, I just say that I focus mainly on protein, eat small meals, and exercise.