"Don't lose too much weight"

[Lisalu 89]

Yesterday, one of my co-workers, a sweet man really, told me "don't lose too much weight." I'm kind of flabbergasted. So I know he meant well, but I don't want the weight police on me now any more than I did when I was heavy. I am about 10 lbs from a healthy BMI but was considering lowering my goal weight a bit (10 more lbs?) to give me some wiggle room since some weight gain is common in years 2-5. Now I feel like I'll need to wear bulky clothes to hide me weight loss. Sheesh. I know people mean to be supportive but I don't really like them critiqing my size.

[peatie 4]

I think people mean well and it's as much of an adjustment for them to see us smaller as it is for us. I recall the first time i lost a lot of weight, i was in the middle of the healthy range, so by no means 'underweight' and everyone around me said i was 'too small' and i looked like a lollipop. I came to the conclusion that they just weren't USED to seeing me as a small person.

As long as you're satisfied with how you look and feel, the world will eventually catch up with you.

[Jordien 30]

that's right! you be were YOU want to be! and congratulations on your wonderful weight loss!

[Peffermintchili 0]

Does he know you've had he surgery ? I suppose if someone sees you everyday and they see this rapid weight loss in a short period of time and they don't understand how it's happening he might be genuinely concerned about you. It probably took alot of courage for him to reach out. I guess that's one spin on it.

Unfortunately, we cant stop peoples curiosity or ill informed opinions.

Congrats on your weight loss.

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,281]

Oh wow... that to me would be a compliment.

[coops 1,790]

Hey,

I completely understand where you are coming from on this one... you lose as much or as little as you jolly well want to!!! x

[BlackBerryJuice 349]

Before my surgery, everyone told me they were worried I'd become anorexic and waste away. It's like people don't understand that there's a happy medium between being obese and emaciated.

[M2G 1,836]

I have thought about this a lot. When I graduated from HS I was 175lbs, and thought that I was huge. Well, add 100lbs to that and then I guess 175 doesn't sound so bad.

So when my surgeon talked to me he said "I want you to be 150" I was thinking he was crazy! I was probably 15 years old the last time I weighed that (I'm 38 now), BUT, really the goal for me, for this surgery, is to be healthy. 150lbs would put me at a healthy BMI. So yes, I made it my goal, but wow, it sure sounds small to me! So if I'm having a hard time wrapping MY head around it, I'm sure those around me will have the same reactions.

[cwalker 12]

Yesterday, one of my co-workers, a sweet man really, told me "don't lose too much weight." I'm kind of flabbergasted. So I know he meant well, but I don't want the weight police on me now any more than I did when I was heavy. I am about 10 lbs from a healthy BMI but was considering lowering my goal weight a bit (10 more lbs?) to give me some wiggle room since some weight gain is common in years 2-5. Now I feel like I'll need to wear bulky clothes to hide me weight loss. Sheesh. I know people mean to be supportive but I don't really like them critiqing my size.

I got that too, and a "Have you been sick" with it.lol I know they are shocked but honestly did we look better fat? I feel sooo much better and even now the inches keep coming off although I have cut back on the walking. I just want to be healthy. I'm like you need to lose 15 more lbs to get to goal BMI, don't let anyone gt to you.

[sharold7 2]

I think people mean well and it's as much of an adjustment for them to see us smaller as it is for us. I recall the first time i lost a lot of weight, i was in the middle of the healthy range, so by no means 'underweight' and everyone around me said i was 'too small' and i looked like a lollipop. I came to the conclusion that they just weren't USED to seeing me as a small person.

As long as you're satisfied with how you look and feel, the world will eventually catch up with you.

I have a different slant to add to this. I think when you are a young person, you can get skinny and still look good but if you are an older person like me, I don't want to look older so I want to know when I've reached the point where I still look younger and not gaunt. That point for me is now at 5'4" and 144 pounds. Even tho' I'm not a size 10 or less, I agree with my husband and others that I've gone down far enough. It isn't even difficult for me anymore since I realized that when I eat more, I lose more but there is a point where it doesn't look good any more and for me that was when my BMI was down to 25 and the chart said I am average and not overweight. I think sometimes we can't see ourselves as others see us so we might need the opinions of those we love to let us know when we are thin enough. Just my opinion.

Sharon

[StaySea 2]

Speaking of people meaning well in what they say. I have a student that I tutor and when I went to their house last week the Mom told me you can really tell I'm loosing weight (which made me feel good) that my face looked thinner (yay in my book)...then she said she liked my face better before (she thinks round faces are cute). LoL.

[Lisalu 89]

Sharon, I agree. After a certain age, super-thin does look gaunt. Right now my BMI is 26.something which isn't too thin by any means. Plus my face is naturally full, so my face doesn't look gaunt unless I'm emaciated. I'm soon to 48, so I do think about what will look good on me at this age. I have to balance that with what I need health-wise. I'm kind of banana shaped (thicker legs than apple-shaped folks but definitely no pear) so my waist is thick. Actually, think of a banana with big boobs and you'll have my general proportions. It isn't healthy to have a big waist so I may go below BMI 25. We will see.

[BJean 16]

I'm an older person too and I do think that I've developed some new wrinkles since my face isn't so puffy. I'm sure that it isn't attractive but it is worth it for the smaller and healthier body. I'm thinking about trying Restalyne or Dysport but I'll probably wait until I reach goal.

Friends comment that I'm lucky because I don't have saggy skin even after losing so much weight. I just laugh and am glad they can't see my upper arms and flabby legs. I know I need to tone up but right now I'm just walking for exercise. I don't think there's a lot I'll be able to do about the excess skin but I'm so happy with the results of having the sleeve, nothing can burst my bubble. Even though several people have told me I shouldn't lose anymore, I am determined to get to my goal weight.

Btw, I had the lap band and my goal was 140 which I was never able to reach (not even close) and now I have the sleeve and 130 is definitely in my sights!

[BJean 16]

Sharon, I agree. After a certain age, super-thin does look gaunt. Right now my BMI is 26.something which isn't too thin by any means. Plus my face is naturally full, so my face doesn't look gaunt unless I'm emaciated. I'm soon to 48, so I do think about what will look good on me at this age. I have to balance that with what I need health-wise. I'm kind of banana shaped (thicker legs than apple-shaped folks but definitely no pear) so my waist is thick. Actually, think of a banana with big boobs and you'll have my general proportions. It isn't healthy to have a big waist so I may go below BMI 25. We will see.

Lisalu, do you mind me asking how tall you are?

[Lisalu 89]

5'2"