Found this article and think it's very interesting... Hope it's helpful or of some interest to others as well.

I?ve Got a Secret: Nondisclosure in Persons Who Undergo Bariatric Surgery | Bariatric Times

Thanks for the link, it was an interesting read. I'm one of those who haven't told anybody except my boyfriend, and I think I'll keep it that way. People may guess, but I feel it's a personal thing. When someone asks how I've lost so much weight I generally say "I eat less" - which is true, in a way... I haven't told my family because I didn't want to worry them before the surgery, and I'm a pretty private person in all respects.

You really have nothing to gain and everything to lose by telling people.

By the way, did you notice the study was on 14 women. Not much of a study?

But it is true, most will not tell people. Why would you want to? For the most part people will be judgemental, unsupportive, and down right mean.

I am another person who has not outed myself. The only folks who know are my fiancee and two very good friends. My family thought I was in the hospital for gall stones. I am just not ready to get the judgement unleashed, because it will.

Good article, but i've told everyone who would listen except my mom. . .she is too dramatic and would have me in my grave already! hehehe. . . when i was thinking about it, i didn't tell anyone, but now (4 weeks out) i tell anyone who asks. . . and the response has been really positive, when the folks at work found out and after i came back to work, a lot of them came to me and yes told me they didn't think i had needed the surgery but after gently explaining that yes i did, they asked tons of questions and were so interested, a few of the ladies are actually thinking about getting it done themselves. . . they have become much more friendlier now as well . . .no negatives at all. . .

I have found it very intriguing that there have been two kinds of responses the surgery issue. One group has unending questions and wants to know every detail, while the other remains quiet and almost dissapproving. I have not told many people of my decision. My family, and very close friends know what this journey means to me. I have found that my family and friends tell and discuss the surgery with others, increasing my circle. I am not opposed to others knowing, I just don't put my "stuff" out there as a normal course of action.

You really have nothing to gain and everything to lose by telling people.

By the way, did you notice the study was on 14 women. Not much of a study?

But it is true, most will not tell people. Why would you want to? For the most part people will be judgemental, unsupportive, and down right mean.

Hi Jaffa,

I agree, I "feel" like I have very little to gain from telling people, even those close to me. I have gauged this based on observation and listening to those around me, and their "rude" comments, of the nature that were mentioned in this article. I also found that one of the most interesting notes from this article was that those who tell ANYONE often share this only with someone who has already had WLS, or who is also considering it, which is basically what we're doing here.

As for sample size, this being a qualitative study, which also included quantitative data from outside studies of larger samples, 14 people is actually very acceptable. This is more an "initial" collection of data and info, and thus, many more hypothesis could and should be explored in the future, regarding this issue. Real qualitative research is very complex and time consuming, and I believe the researchers did a good job utilizing the proper methods in this study. Ok, can you tell I've done this type of research before? Sadly, I could talk about this "boring" stuff for days and days! :wink0::wink0:

I'm glad you guys thought this was interesting... I really think there is a ton of good research, data, and information being published over at Bariatric Times, so hopefully more will check it out.

best to all! :biggrin0::smile::thumbup1:

Edited January 25, 201016 yr by youknowit
spelling

Its funny because even people who are waiting on WLS are judgmental. I was in a nutrition class and a woman who was waiting on her surgery was saying how she tells anyone who will listen. However, another woman at her job had the same surgery and she spent most of the class telling us about this woman and how she screwed up her surgery by eating this and that. I was sitting there thinking, this is exactly why few people know about my surgery.

My former co-workers know, because I had to take time off for the surgery. My new co-workers have no idea and won't, because I won't mention it. Frankly, there's little sympathy for the obese, and I chose to just move along rather than fighting the educational battle over and over.

I guess I am from a different school of thought. I am in outside sales and have told almost all of my customers. I wanted them to be aware of what was going on in my life and understand why I wasn't eating like I used. I sell restaurant equipment and supplies, so food was constantly being offered to me. Everyone that I have told have been so supportive and glad that I told them so their mind wouldn't race to thoughts about me being sick or dying because I was losing weight so fast. Several have called me and talked to me personally about WLS and where they could get information. As far as I know they might be lurking on here right now. If so, HI! Most of my family knows and the rest will find out when I see them. I haven't found a reason to not tell anyone.

Bill

My problem is that I am way to excited about having WLS to keep it to myself! My surgery is in two weeks (2/12) and I will tell anyone who stands still long enough. I am not too worried about people judging me. I know they judge me being obese, so if they want to judge me being skinny...go for it. I get a lot of crap for going to Mexico to do it too, but I know I have done my research and people who give me the "oh-my-God-surgery-on-a-dirty-kitchen-table" look just don't know enough about it.

Plum,

You are right... people don't know. My thoughts on that are, I can lead a horse to Water, but I can't drown them in it. It's not my job to educate the world on behalf of "fat people everywhere"... I wish I could believe the people around me wouldn't be completely judgmental, but I know that's not the case. I applaud those who choose to tell it from the rooftops, that's just not me in general, let alone with something this "personal" (for me). I may change my mind as time progresses (after my sleeve), but as for now... leaving on Sunday morning, not telling a soul.

I guess regardless of the "judgment" part, I don't feel like it's my job to educate the world on this issue. My being fat, and people being bigoted against fat people, is enough.

Best to all! :smile:

Reading this tonight is most timely for me. I haven't told but a couple of people. My husband, cousin, one long distance friend and 3 on-line friends. I walk everyday with 2 thin friends. This morning I said "I need to get this weight off." The reply was "You have done it before and can do it again." I just couldn't get the words WLS out of my mouth although I had planned to. I'm kind of at a loss because we walk 6 days a week and I will have to lie about my whereabouts. I don't want to do that and I don't want to tell. :smile:

i have told everybody at my work. i am not ashamed, the only thing i am worried about is failure. especially since they know at work about my wls. they will say why even have it done if it was going to come back. there are days i don't eat right. i guess it is head hunger that makes me want bad things. i have the support of all my family and most of my co-workers. so we will see how all of this goes. lol to vsg

i have told everybody at my work. i am not ashamed

I'm not ashamed either. I'm private and quite honestly, a secretive person. And, let's be honest, I don't like listening to other people's unsolicited opinions of me. If I want to know what they think, I'll ask...

Happy that you feel comfortable telling others, and I wish you the best! We can all kick this problems butt, and we're doing it our way... with the sleeve! :smile:

I am not ashamed, but I am another that has not told anyone. People knew I was in the hospital and I just knew we would see someone there, so I told everyone that I was having a hernia surgery. Yeah, it was a lie, but I'm not too worried about going to hell. I posted my thanks on my facebook to my father, who flew in and tirelessly took care of my children for my surgery. Well, of course my cousin alerted my grandmother who immediately called my father. My dad ended up telling her the truth, which I understand-she was concerned. She told him she wouldn't tell anyone, but I am not so sure. I hope she doesn't, because in my dad's family-everything is a joke. Everyone makes fun of everyone-to the point where nothing is funny any more. No one can have flaws or secrets-they endlessly will make fun of you until you feel like a big pile of poo. But if she does, so be it. I will not be like them. I will not die obese. I will not do it. The funny thing (or not so funny)? Every.single.one of them is morbidly obese. So yeah, while for now it is my secret-it will not define me.