Hi All,

I'm new to this forum and love it. I have a question. I'm 3 days post-op and noticed my lap band port is showing around my stomach is this normal? See, I did not tell my spouse I had the weight loss surgery because I knew he would TOTALLY oppose it. Now I feel horrible that he will notice and feel betrayed. I wanted to get my weight and health under control before I tell him. He has been taking on all the responsibilities around the house assuming I had gallbladder surgery. Will the port always show?

The port will more than likely show the more you lose weight. You can have a low profile port put in when you get closer to goal. Sorry but you may need to figure out a way to tell him. I don't know how long you can hide this from him. Plus with quick weight loss a lot of times you end up having to have your gall bladder removed. Just some thing to think about. Good luck.

~~~Stephanie

How did you manage to keep that from your spouse? Did you do a pre-op diet? My port protrudes a little, but I wouldn't say it "shows"- at least not yet. Gosh, I hope you find a way to share your weight loss journey with your partner. Best wishes to you!

I too hope you decide to share this with your spouse- I personally believe there should be no secrets between spouses and this is a pretty major thing to keep to yourself. My port doesn't really show, but you can certainly feel it. My husband is my biggest supporter and I can't imagine doing this journey without him!

Thanks guys for your well wishes. It was very easy to keep from him during pre-op because I'm always on some type of diet. The gallbladder surgery makes sense because I'm constantly struggling with constipation and nausea as long as we've been together. But he is against the surgery and would have convinced me not to do it. He has already ask to see the stitches and noticed the bulge but assumes its bloating and swelling. Boy am I in trouble!!

A sense of trust and the honesty that accompanies it are part of the foundation of an enduring marriage.

The longer you keep the truth from your spouse, the more difficult it will be to reveal the truth to them, IMHO. This "white elephant" in the room may also increase your stress. Stress and bands are not compatible.

My husband has told me that he hates the diet restrictions I now follow. He was supportive of my choice to have my band placed. There would have been no realistic way for me to have kept the truth from him, nor would I have wanted to.

Best wishes...

Yep....your absolutely right! This is what I get for trying to kept it from him! It's done and I can't turn it around. So I will definitely tell him. I was having issues with myself and that is why I did it without him. In the past he has said "you don't need that" "you look perfect". But I didn't feel perfect I struggle with my weight. A constant battle. But I have a new journey (yayyyy) and my health is in tip top shape so far. I have a lot to be thankful for.

Glad that you've decided to tell him. I just can't comprehend a world in which I would keep something like that from my husband. Even if he hadn't been supportive I would have just told him it was something I had to do for me and I would appreciate his support.

You know, I have several acquaintances that I have not told about my surgery. However, my family knows. God forbid a serious complication comes along, you would want your family to know wouldn't you?

I'm hoping your husband gives you the support you're going to need now that it's done. Unless you have serious complications that band is there forever. So don't hold anything back, you know the old saying - "love conquers all!"