I need advice on what to do...I just started a new job dec 17 so I'm still on my 90 days probation but I talked to my boss at the beginning of January and told her about lapband surgery and she said ok no problems just let me know when it is and ill let you off work (obviously no pay but that is fine with me, I just wanted to make sure my job wouldn't be in jeopardy). So I scheduled my consultation for tomorrow. I'm self pay so I'm anticipating a fast process (hopefully within the next couple weeks). I reminded her before I left work today that I'm off work tomorrow for y consultation and she acted like she knew nothing about it! She said I won't lose my job over surgery but it'll look bad on my record and to try to wait until my 90 days is up. So why would I get a consultation now if I didn't want surgery until April? She doesn't understand how much just the consultation costs alone, let alone surgery. But then she acted like she was ok with it... I'm so confused, do I go ahead and do what I need to do and put me first? She said I wouldn't lose my job but she kind of put a guilt trip on me. She should understand bc she had gastric bypass before so she knows how important this is to me.

I'd put my job first. 90 days will fly by. I'd rather be in good standing with my boss.

Go for the consultation now. I think even self pay, you may need a few dr appointments to make sure you are healthy for surgery. Not as many (like no 6 month diet etc) but some. Then you will be more informed.

I think I should put myself first for once. She told me ok at first which is why I made the appt in the first place. Now she's changing her mind the day before my consultation? My last boss was crazy which is why I left there, hopefully this one isnt the same way! :-/

I met with my surgeon in August and didn't get banded until last week. I wasn't self pay so had to meet insurance requirements and then the hospital was closed for several weeks because of Sandy damage. I only met her the one time but I spoke with the nurse in the office a few times to ask additional questions so go ahead and have your consult even if you don't have the surgery right away.

Hmm tough situation...is this a job or a career. My decision would weigh heavily on that.

Well the real question here is how much do you need your job because even though she said you wont lose your job over it they are not reirquired to hold your position if you have not been there a year and qualify for FMLA. She could tell you that and then hire someone else. Do you need your job? If so I would wait.

Is there an HR department where you work? If so, it's them you need to clear it through rather than your boss. By going through them you don't have to worry about your boss messing around with you either.

If there is no HR department, then I'd go ahead to the consultation but schedule the surgery for after your 90 probation period. Fair or not, if they want to fire you before your 90 days is up it would be extremely easy for them to do. I personally don't think it's worth risking your job, and income, over a surgery that you can still have in 3 short months.

Just my opinion.

I would definitely go for your consultation tomorrow. Even as a self pay 1 you may have to do a lot of test and 2 the doctor may ask you to lose a certain amount of weight before doing surgery. My insurance didn't require any kind of diet before surgery but my surgeon based on his requirements it was going to be 3 months from consultation to surgery. I agree that I would talk to HR about how they handle unpaid leave. In the future I would make sure to email your manager about every appointment so they can't say you never told them.

Many managers will pull this kind of crap because their first choice is for you to be at your desk 10 hours a day with no breaks and making the company money. The way they see it they're not there to make you happy they're there to make the company money.

I'm jaded I know but I've been in corporate America for too long.

I am a business owner, therefore, I may have a different opinion than some. I like to know that the people I hire realize how difficult and expensive it is to employ more people and how many people would love to have the opportunity to get their foot in the door. I respect their dedication and I expect them to respect that i hired them because it is important for my company that they are there to do their job. If it was optional whether they be there, I would probably not hire another person and just try covering that position with current employees. With that said, in today's economy I would never tell someone to blow off work. There are 100 if not 1000's of people that can and would take your place. Remember, it's a 90 day probation! If your boss isn't the big wig in charge, I wouldn't trust what was said between the 2 of you prior to getting the job will be conveyed to those in charge! Putting yourself first is very important! You can do that by looking at your diet, changing what needs to be changed, start an exercise routine, and getting in touch with the reasons why your overweight! This does not have to put the process on hold, it just starts it differently! 90 days will fly by and you will be able to be comfortable knowing the days you take off will not cause any animosity or jeopardize your job in any way!

I already talked to the lady in HR and she assured me I wouldn't lose my job.

And this is just a job, a stepping stone for me, not a career by any means

Since this job doesn't matter to you then by all means do what you want but I have been a business owner and am currently in sr mgt HR so my advice would be put all time off requests in writing and ask for approvals in writing as well,

As far as your surgery I do not. See why you can't wait the 90 days. Good employment is based on the employee and the employer working together for a common goal. They do not owe you anything. The probationary period is a lot like the liquid diet we bandsters go on... If you aren't willing to commit to excellence for a short period of time why should your employer keep you on? Just something to think about.

Then if its Just A Job why don't you just give your notice and let someone who really wants to work have a chance to have a job. I don't understand your mentality that this surgery is more important then having employment. It doesnt matter what HR told you if you are not entitled to FMLA they do not have to hold your job. If you are so quick to rush to surgery and not think about your coworkers or that employment in this economy is important then it would be better to just give notice, have your surgery and then find other employment. Just my opinion and Im not saying it rudely for those who feel the need to jump on me like you know me. Or why didnt you have your surgery before obtaining employment. Never burn your bridges when it comes to working.

There's no guarantee you'll have the surgery scheduled prior to your 90 probation ending, so why push? In any event, even a stepping stone job is important to a future employer. Employment gaps, unless you're a full time student are questioned. Since your company has an HR dept, it's likely large enough to come under federal laws governing medical leave and the process is pretty straightforward. Wait the additional 2 months of employment, prepare yourself properly for your surgery and new lifestyle...flexibility will be very important after your surgery, practicing it now will be a positive thing for you and your company.

start making your appointments after work, wait the 90 for surgery and hope there insurance will cover it or some anyway...job are hard to find now be very careful.