Well, I finally admitted to my beau that I am in dire need of professional help. I think I am fighting depression now, maybe the worse I have seen in quite a long time. At least I think so. I always ask myself “Do I really need medication?” “It is just my situation?” “What is causing these thoughts?” “Am I just lazy, unmotivated?” “Do I just have a crappy outlook or attitude?” “It is my job?”

Does anybody else ever go through this? How do you know what to do? How do you talk to your doc about it? How do you know if you really are ill or if it is situational? For the most part, I actually think my life is great. How weird is that?

If you have been here before, how do you get through each day without quitting your job and crawling into bed? God I am desperate. I know I am because I am posting about my wacko mind and feelings to a ton of people and feeling totally exposed!!! I am nuts. Just nuts. :help:

PS. I do have a doc appt on Friday. *sigh*

Lil Angel - I have no answer for you, but sending {{{HUGS}} You actually talking about how you are feeling has to be a big step in getting help. And second you contacting the Dr to talk to is also a plus. I am sure there are others here that have been down that road and can give you great advice. sometimes you do need medication to get your body back on track.

Best wishes that all gets better.

I will be watching this thread closely....I felt like I was majorily depressed all weekend long...all i could do not to stay in bed and cry all weekend...not sure what has brought all this about. Just know you are not alone. (huugss)

I went through a similiar depression about a year ago. I felt like I was in a hole. For me, it was my weight that caused it. I did go to my doctor and she put me on anti-depressants, but maybe they weren't the right kind, because I started having really angry, psychotic thoughts. I realized it was the drugs and when I tried to get off of them, I couldn't. My body was dependent on them. I would get really dizzy and nauseus (sp?) if I didn't take them every 24 hours. I had to go back to my doctor and have them wean me off of them. After that, I refused to take any more of them. I then turned to religion, and that saved me. I finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel.

So now, when I feel like I am headed that route, I go to church. This always make me feel a lot better. I'm not saying that the anti-depressants will not help. I'm sure they have helped many, many people. They just didn't help ME. Maybe I was prescribed the wrong kind. Who knows. But my faith always gets me through these times of sadness...

I spent a year of my life asking myself the same questions. The biggest being.. "How can I be depressed. I have a good life. Everyone is healthy. My family is all near me and we all love each other. Everyone's employed. Ect." All the while I was slipping further and further into darkness. Crying everyday. Shutting myself off from the world.

My daughter started talking to me about seeking some medical help. I really shut out that idea because 1) I dont want to be addicted to anything and 2) I dont want to have to depend on drugs to live like a normal person. But physical problems ended up forcing me to see the doctor and when she asked, 'So, how are you?' I just fell apart and cried. I told her I'd been depressed for a year. Could no longer work because of the depression and panic attacks. We discussed medication and I told her of my fears. She suggested Effexor and said it wasn't like some medications that make you feel numb. So I agreed to try it. Within a few weeks, I noticed I wasnt crying anymore. A few weeks more and I was actually laughing and smiling again. I feel completely normal, not drugged or void of emotions. I can handle questions that used to make me fall apart. Tough ones like, "Whats for dinner?" hehe

Anyway, if you have recognized that you are more depressed than ever. If you have noticed the problem enough to talk to your man and to us, then you already know you need some help. My doctor recommended some counselling after I was feeling better with the Effexor, and I might do that soon. But for now? I'm just so grateful to be laying on the ground instead of in a deep dark hole!

Depression isn't just "down in the dumps" stuff. It can be totally controlled by out of control hormorne levels. Mine was!! My testosterone was too high and I was sad and angry a lot. PLEASE ask your Dr. to do a check on your levels. My world was turned around in a matter of 6 months after being on meds. I am no longer on meds - as my body has reclaimed a normal balance. Thank God! Don't just try and 'get out of the moods, or blame yourself'. You can get help! Good luck.

Some people biologically just do NOT have the chemical replenishment that is supposed to occur in the brain. If your depression lasts for more than 2 weeks, you need to seek professional help. There are some marvelous drugs today that save lives and indeed restore quality to a person's existence.

I know my life was saved and absolutely made better because of the drugs available.. just like those with chemical imbalances due to thyroid, diabetes or other endocrine disorders. Please don't tough it out if you truly feel you may be clinically depressed. ((hugs))

I'm in the same boat.

I've always had a bit of depression, but after my daughter was born in 2004, it really set in. I've been on Lexapro (which I wouldn't recommend because it stops working) and I'm currently on Zoloft.

I'm not sure what I am going to do. I seriously think I am at a point where the Zoloft is not working good enough, but I am not sure. I don't want to raise my dosage, but at the same time I am almost miserable and I'm making my hubby the same way.

I'm trying to work through some of my issues w/o raising my dosage though. I have so much stuff coming at me from several different directions that I feel like my world is spinning at times.

Best of luck to everyone! Hopefully we can all find the answer together. :eek:

I hope you feel better and seek help if you need help. I do not believe this is anything anyone other than you can really figure out. Thank goodness we live in an age where you have so many options.

I just wanted to add, kindly so, that Lexapro and each anti-depressant works so differently for each individual and because it may stop working in one person does not mean it stops for every person.

Taking small steps is important; otherwise, I think we over analyze what is going on and then we become paralyzed.

Kelli

My two cents in as well- I have been on Lexapro for over a year and I love it. I feel great and the depression that I felt rarely even pops up. I can't remember the last truly depressed day I had, and I had some terrible days-weeks-months prior to the pharmacologcal intervention.

I don't think it is for everyone. I tried Celexa first and it did not help. After that failure I stayed away from the meds for about a year and a half. When my doc put me on Lexapro I thought it would be the same thing again. Thank heaven it was not. It was not an easy road, and I had a lot of work to do, but I do not think I could have made it without the added help.

If you want to talk I am more than willing to tell you about what my experience was- it's not pretty, but it does have a happy ending.

Clinical depression is very real, and often there isn't a magic pill to pull you out of it. If you are depressed for no reason that you can think of, and your life is going well, but you are still depressed you probably can be helped a great deal by medication. With me....well it's a long story starting with the loss of my Mom who was my best friend, followed by a tragic car accident that took my husband's life at the age of 49, and the following year a horrible car accident that killed my daughter's boyfriend and left her in intensive care. I was in the deepest, darkest pit that existed. A pill just wouldn't help....and then I lost my Dad. I didn't think I could go on any longer, but the Lord had more in store for me, which involved a heart attack (I can't even imagine what kind of stress I had to cause that). I was living on cigarettes, coffee and working around the clock to try and keep my mind on everything but me. During my open heart surgery I literally died on the table for about 10 minutes during which time I actually saw the other side. I saw and touched the hand of God and it's something I will never forget. I saw my Mom and husband just as happy as they could be. My Mom who suffered from and died from congestive heart failure looked well and happy. I guess that is when I woke up and really, really let my faith in God take over. I always believed in a higher power, but I guess I had a few doubts. I have no doubts anymore. I am positive of what I saw and what lays ahead and from that day on I've done wonderfully controlling my depression. In that depressed state I had gained close to 100 pounds (how could I not notice) and now it's time to turn that around too.

Hey I just wrote you guys a book didn't I??? Sorry I got carried away. God does that to me sometimes. I figure God had other plans for me when he allowed me to live and witness the birth of 3 more wonderful grandchildren. I still experience some days when I'm a little down and lonely, but that's when I have private conversations with God and the answers always come to me and I'm fine again.

Some people biologically just do NOT have the chemical replenishment that is supposed to occur in the brain. If your depression lasts for more than 2 weeks, you need to seek professional help. There are some marvelous drugs today that save lives and indeed restore quality to a person's existence.

I know my life was saved and absolutely made better because of the drugs available.. just like those with chemical imbalances due to thyroid, diabetes or other endocrine disorders. Please don't tough it out if you truly feel you may be clinically depressed. ((hugs))

Angel, what Leatha_G is saying is absolutely correct - it is a chemical imbalance that happens to be in the brain, and needs to be treated as such, just like treating illnesses like diabetes or asthma. Most importantly remember that it isn't your fault.

It took me many years to recognise that my depression was a 'disease' that I couldn't treat by myself, and I needed help to deal with it. I thought I could do it on my own, by controlling my thoughts & emotions, and felt weak & a failure for not being able to - but it's like saying to an asthmatic 'Don't use an inhaler', or a diabetic 'Don't take insulin'.

The most important thing is you already recognise that you have the symptoms of depresion & want to do something about it - that's half the battle won already. Keep going, and keep strong. The love & support of your family & friends is important, and it sounds as if you have that already as well. Don't be afraid/ashamed to use medication to help you control it. And you have the support of everyone on this forum as well. Take it easy, and keep in touch with us, OK?

OMG Angel, I feel the same way. I almost feel guilty for being depressed when I hear about others ordeals. I mean, I have a great life. I really hope that losing the weight will help me, but I have some c-dependancy problems to. I am raising a special needs child that is not mine and it is causing problems in my home. Now I'm trying to find alternative living for the child I have raised all his life (14 yrs but in my home for 7) and tTHAT IS STRESSFUL BECAUSE i KNOW IT WILL BE BEST FOR MY FAMILY BUT MAYBE NOT BEST FOR HIM. All my life my issues were always from other people (to this day my mom is unhappy and that depresses me now and as a child), besides that my personal situation has been good.

Being depressed has nothing to do with how good your life is...it's a chemical imbalance and, as others have said, it needs to be treated just like diabetes or any other disease. I have been on Lexapro for a couple of years, and it's been a lifesaver...I feel like I have myself back. I would encourage you to talk frankly with your doctor; the only thing I would caution you about is that if you have thoughts of hurting yourself, I wouldn't admit that because they can (if they feel it's warranted) have you put in a psych ward for evaluation. But do let your doc know that it's interfering with your ability to function normally. There are so many meds out there that might help, and sometimes it takes awhile to find the right one for you...but it is so worth it.

Hugs to you and I hope yu're feeling better before too long!

Emily

Depression is a chemical imbalance but how your mind intreprets certain events in your life can also contribute to the depression. I went through this for about two years and it got really bad in the last year. I almost lost my sweet adorable John due to my depression and my lack of interest in all things in my life.

I went for counseling and that helped tremendously. The Psychologist helped me see what was causing my depression, I did not want to try meds till I had tried the counseling first. If I didn't get to feeling better with just the counseling then I certainly would have tried the meds.

I would cry at every session even if the things we discussed were happy things I cried. After I left every session I felt cleansed and prepared to face my day. I also decided to take it ONE DAY AT A TIME. That was the only way to get through the depression. I have had days were it closes in on me and I just beat it back with a stick. It can engulf you if you don't fight it back. I have been in the bottom of that black hole and I had two things I could do there. Either climb and struggle to get out of it and LIVE my life or stay there and whither and die. I chose to live.

I realized through my counseling that I had issues with the men in my life. I felt abandonded by all of the men in my life. Once I worked through that then the depression was lifting.

Sweetie I hope you work through this and know that "THIS TOO SHALL PASS".

HUGS

Mental health is a very individual thing. I only know my story, so let me share a bit of it.

After I had my lapband placed, I went through a big, deep, sad, dark depression. I felt like my life wasn't my own- that I'd been making choices not because of what *I* wanted but because they were what others wanted- and therefore safe. I felt like life was meaningless with out my drug of choice- food- to get me through. I didn't understand what I was feeling. It felt like things hurt me more than they did before. I remember thinking one time that it felt like I had fresh new skin, and that everything that came near it made it sting. Of course, my fresh new skin was an emotional one, not a physical one.

Slowly, with the help of my counselor, a little ray of light started to show in my world. I got angry. I got angry at my friends and family and myself. But depression, I learned, is Anger Turned Inward...and I soon learned that it was ok to be angry and to demand that the world treat me better. Soon I was treating me better, as well.

On my journey through depression, I had to learn to listen to the tapes that played in my head about how I felt about myself and my choices. I had to reprogram them and re-record new tapes so that I could heal and move forward.

For me, being at overweight was like standing still for years and years. I couldn't move forward or backward. Babysteps and lots of patience with myself created momentum and here I am today, a happy, mentally healthy, stable, self-sufficient adult with goals and dreams and a LIFE!

I spent a long time being angry at myself for "letting myself go" not only with my weight but my life. Once I looked that anger in the face and said "NO MORE!" I was free.

Megan