So I've had this boyfriend for a little while. Things progressed very fast between the two of us and I honestly thought he loved me. He said he did...

Maybe I'm naive but I had high hopes for this relationship.

Here are some problems:

During this relationship he was invited to three weddings and didnt ask me to go with him.

His brother lives 5 minutes from him and he never introduced me to him.

He never wanted me to come with when he was going out with his friends so I never got to know any of them.

He never agreed to meet my friends when I asked on several ocassions.

He expect me to always come to his house and when he finally does come to my house, he expects me to praise him for all the effort.

I only go see him 1-2 times a week and he insists on ordering spicy foods or pizza even though I HATE spicy stuff or pizza. WHy cant he just order the food on days I'm not there?

He often acts like he is doing me a favor by making time to see me.

There are a few more things, but are more personal.

Am I just expecting too much? Or are these serious issues? What do you ladies think? I feel like I need to break it off, but when I talk to him he seems very upset and cries. I'm stuck because I care about him but I want more for him than to just hang out and eat pizza.

:help:

Major Red Flags

It sounds like you have already figured out that most of the situations you have experienced are not characteristics of a healthy loving relationship. If he is treating you this way in the beginning of the relationship... what can you hope for in the future? It sounds like your prince charming is still out there waiting for you ... don't settle for less.

People always put their best food forward during the dating time. The real person comes out once you're married. If this is his BEST, I'd be very worried!! I'd get out of there FAST!!!!

So I've had this boyfriend for a little while. Things progressed very fast between the two of us and I honestly thought he loved me. He said he did...

Maybe I'm naive but I had high hopes for this relationship.

Here are some problems:

During this relationship he was invited to three weddings and didnt ask me to go with him.

His brother lives 5 minutes from him and he never introduced me to him.

He never wanted me to come with when he was going out with his friends so I never got to know any of them.

He never agreed to meet my friends when I asked on several ocassions.

He expect me to always come to his house and when he finally does come to my house, he expects me to praise him for all the effort.

I only go see him 1-2 times a week and he insists on ordering spicy foods or pizza even though I HATE spicy stuff or pizza. WHy cant he just order the food on days I'm not there?

He often acts like he is doing me a favor by making time to see me.

There are a few more things, but are more personal.

Am I just expecting too much? Or are these serious issues? What do you ladies think? I feel like I need to break it off, but when I talk to him he seems very upset and cries. I'm stuck because I care about him but I want more for him than to just hang out and eat pizza.

:help:

Two words: manipulative and controlling.

I would dump him ASAP!

Helllllewwww, you must be able to read between the lines, I'm not a counselor by any means, but these are serious warning signs. It's obvious this is a one way relationship....don't walk away from this relationship....run!

you are worth more. way more.

he sounds like a d**k...with a capitol D... dump him

as hard as it may be....I wouldnt spend anymore time on him. I have recently broke up with someone or should I say he broke it off with me, saying he didnt love me or he thought he loved me but come to find out he said some of the things he would do to me, he wouldnt do to someone he loves...anyways..that could go on....

but i ordered this book called, "Its called a break up becuase its broken" read it...it helps shed light on situations that are real and sometimes when we are in "love" we dont seem to see these things. You deserve sooo much better. For me I always had a problem with my self esteem due to ...yep you guessed my wiehgt, he was the first guy to accept me and love (what I thought) for who I was and then he turns around and says some crap like that.....anyways...i stayed mostly cause I loved him but also cause I was affraid no one else out there would have those feelings for me.....its a scary thing...but you dont deserve to be crapped on....

It's so easy for us to tell you what to do when we're so far removed from the situation. I've dated that same guy, more than once! I know this is cheesy, but the book He's Just Not That Into You really spoke to me. One of my favorite parts talked about how there are those guys who are always too busy to see you. The author said, basically, if the guy really likes you, even if he's starting his new job as president of the United States at 4:00 o'clock the next morning, he will still have time to see you.

Granted, I haven't found this guy yet, but I've realized that I'd rather be alone than with someone who makes me feel like crap. That being said, I've also learned that you can't make anyone do anything by constantly bitching at her, so until you're ready to make a change, the most we can do is offer support.

It sounds to me like you already know the answer to this one.

Definitely red flags all over.

I hate to be so blunt and crass, but to me it sounds like your a "booty call" for this guy. Not a lot of respect, commitment or romance going on (and this is early on!)

Take it from someone who knows, selfish partners get even more selfish as time goes on unless they want to change, and the chances of that (them changing) are slim.

Find someone who likes to treat women better.

OK First, have YOU spoken to him about your issues? How can you guys work on anything if you don't communicate?

Second, how long have you been in this relationship? You didnt mention that or if you did I didn't notice.

No relationship will be perfect so let that go out the window. Even in the best of couples there are issues that need working on. And it won't be good all the time.

Learn to listen to your heart and know when something isn't good for you. THat will go a long way to finding your true soul mate. Also, the items you have listed are something to be worried about but I bet if you talk to him about them one of two things will happen. Either he will say "What, I don't do that?" and then that opens a dialogue for you guys. Or he will get pissed off and ignore the situation. Either way you have an answer to your question.

He can't fix it if he doesn't know it is broken.

Kick him to the curb. He doesn't want to be seen in public with you, he doesn't respect you, and you deserve much, much better.

Totally agree, VQueen.

He knows how I feel.

We havent been dating long. Before I met him I was in a very long relationship and a bit heartbroken. I guess I needed a distraction from the pain and went after a new guy right away.

My pain didnt last long and I started having real feelings for this b/f.

Anyway, I've told him about all this stuff, and looks like he is making excuses.

He didnt invite me to the weddings because he thought I wouldnt have fun.

He orders pizza because he doesn't think it's a big deal (I'm being a baby he says)

He doesnt come to my place because he works a lot more than I do.

He doesn't want to meet my friends because he doesnt feel like going out with a bunch of strangers.

Seems like a bunch of excuses. I think that he just doesnt like to be inconvenienced.

I was putting up with all of this because he isn't all bad. He is a good person, just lazy I guess.

What really made me sick of everything was two weekends ago after I went out with my friends.

I called him the next day and told him that a friend of a friend was talking to me all night and I thought it was funny how this cute younger guy was so into me. This is how the conversation went:

Me: this younger boy was talking to me all night, kinda funny he was so interested.

Him: He is probably just a chubby chaser

Me: What's a chubby chaser?

Him: A guy that hits on fat girls because they are desperate for sex and will be an easy lay.

Me: So you think that's all he wanted was just sex? All I'm good for is easy sex?

Him: No, I didn't say that. I said he was PROBABLY thinking that.

Me: Oh great. Bye.

I can't explain it but I was very offended by that.

You SHOULD be offended by that.

Anyone who thinks I'm not delicious enough inside and out for others to admire is not worth my time.

One thing I had to learn in life is that people will treat you only as bad as you allow them to.