So I've had this boyfriend for a little while. Things progressed very fast between the two of us and I honestly thought he loved me. He said he did...

Maybe I'm naive but I had high hopes for this relationship.

Here are some problems:

During this relationship he was invited to three weddings and didnt ask me to go with him.

His brother lives 5 minutes from him and he never introduced me to him.

He never wanted me to come with when he was going out with his friends so I never got to know any of them.

He never agreed to meet my friends when I asked on several ocassions.

He expect me to always come to his house and when he finally does come to my house, he expects me to praise him for all the effort.

I only go see him 1-2 times a week and he insists on ordering spicy foods or pizza even though I HATE spicy stuff or pizza. WHy cant he just order the food on days I'm not there?

He often acts like he is doing me a favor by making time to see me.

There are a few more things, but are more personal.

Am I just expecting too much? Or are these serious issues? What do you ladies think? I feel like I need to break it off, but when I talk to him he seems very upset and cries. I'm stuck because I care about him but I want more for him than to just hang out and eat pizza.

:help:

You should have been insulted by that!

dump the sucker

I agree with Leener and Vines. Run and don't look back. It is true if this relationship leads to marriage it will be a disaster. Don't settle for a bum that does not respect you. You will meet the right guy and he will treat you like a princess, no matter what your size, b/c he loves you. The best place to meet people, friends of your friends. How I met my dh, I invited his friend (who I liked, lol) to a party and he brought my dh with him. Just please don't settle and think you can't do better.

Run Far Away!!

It's so easy for us to tell you what to do when we're so far removed from the situation. I've dated that same guy, more than once! I know this is cheesy, but the book He's Just Not That Into You really spoke to me. One of my favorite parts talked about how there are those guys who are always too busy to see you. The author said, basically, if the guy really likes you, even if he's starting his new job as president of the United States at 4:00 o'clock the next morning, he will still have time to see you.

I was going to recommend this book! Good call!

Girl, he's just not that into you. Don't waste another moment wondering. Don't compromise. Expect better. Run and don't look back.

I used to allow guys to do that to me, thought it was the only way to get someone to love me. But when you meet the right person, you don't have any of these concerns or doubts. When I met my dear boyfriend he was excited to meet my family and friends...he wanted to see the people who I cared about and who made me, me. He couldn't wait for me to meet his family, was so proud, he was showing my pictures to his mom (my fat pictures, ugh) told me how proud he was to have me on his arm whenever we went out, always holding my hand. I never in my imagination thought I would find someone who treated me with so much love and respect and made it even clearer what kind of d*ckheads I had been seeing before.

I know it feels hard to be alone....but being alone in my opinion was better than the uncertain feelings, self-esteem bashing, and the hurt I put myself through by being with those type of guys. Waiting for the right guy is so worth it.

I've watched my sister for years married to a guy like this. It's a sad life for her. She's got two kids and feels stuck now. Meanwhile, I have a pretty great husband - sure we fight sometimes and he's got his flaws, but geez... he's really a nice guy and cares about me and I know this. Do you want to live like this forever (because it probably won't get much better and maybe worse)? Even if not, I think you probably could use your time more constructively.... more fish in the sea... go catch a good one!

Please don't waste anymore of your valuable time on this Jerk!

You are worth SO SO much more than what little (if anything other than a complex) he is giving you!

I can't tell you how to feel or what to do, but I can tell you my story. I married a man that used me as a trophy, I was thin (diet hell) and he and his friends all found me attractive. I was also 18 and he was 23. We dated and married within 8 months and he would go to the bars until 2 and 3 in the morning and leave me at home alone. He would go to parties and events without me because I wouldn't have fun with him. I started to feel bad about who I was and wondered why he didn't want to be seen in public with me. I was fine to cook, clean, pay half the bills and have sex with but not to go in public. I also packed on 95 pounds in that year. Things took an ugly turn when I decided to enroll in community collage and make something of myself. He became abusive and downright mean. One night he decided that I had to quit school and be a wife, when I refused, he beat me half to death literally. He then proceeded to destroy my home and leave. I filed for divorce 3 days later and it took me a full year $10,000 to get rid of him. During the process of divorcing my ex jerk I met a wonderful man that not only complimented me on my apperance but held open doors for me and sent flowers to my mom to thank her for such a wonderful daughter. We have been together over 6 years now and I still get goosebumps when he touches me. We have a beautiful daughter and we are happy with the life we share. I just asked him a few days ago if he could go back in time and do it all over again would he? He answered without hesitation, the only thing he would change would be to stop me from working the night I was in a terrible accident. He said he would not only marry me again he wants to renew our vows on our 10 year anniversary. There is a mr. right out there for you, don't settle for less. You are only worth as much to someone else as you are to yourself. Think about that~Mandy

Please forgive my directness, but since this is a place where we help each other, I want to be candid. It sounds like he is using you for sex, and not giving anything back. He should be going out of his way to make it nice for you. Serving food, at his convenience, of his preference, means he is serving himself. Not taking you out suggests that he is not appreciative of you and appears to be lacking any consideration of you or your needs or desires. Not introducing you to his friends suggests that he does not view you as being relevant to his social circle; even temporary.

I fear that he has enjoyed the benefit of your companionship longer than he deserves, and no longer should have the priviledge of your company. There are better out there than that.

On Grey's anatomy the other day, I heard something really pure and true -It went something like this - if someone (person A) cannot love someone (person else the way they (person :huggie: deserve to be loved, then that person (person A) does not deserve the love of that person (person :huggie: Make sense? (I was afraid not!)

Good luck, God bless, and know that there is someone out there that is worthy of you. In the mean time - Frog city!

I'm sorry that he has treated you like this. It's a vicious cycle...you have low self esteem, allow yourself to be treated badly, and get lower and lower self esteem until you think that this is the last man in the world that will love you and want to see you naked.

Bullshit.

Self esteem is gained by making different choices. Making different choices creates momentum in your life and takes you in directions that you can't see when you are so low.

So take a small step if you aren't able/willing to kick him to the curb just yet. Test him. Make it a small thing...like- "I'll order the pizza and I'm not getting the spicy stuff so what of these two choices would you like?"

I like to say that in order to loose ten pounds you only have to lose one pound ten times. It doesn't seem so overwhelming. Same thing with this. Stick up for yourself once and the second and third time will be easier. I promise.

Megan

Babysteps....

You know the answer. There is really no need for any of us to tell you what he is in this for is there? Now it's time to put some value on yourself and get rid of the zero and get yourself a hero. Get out!!

You don't deserve to be treated like this! Like MeganA said, take little steps if you need to, but you need to dump this guy and you already know it. If you need some solid advice, try www.drphil.com. He tells it like it is and offers links on his website that can help build your inner self. Good luck to you and heed the words of advice given on this thread.

I broke up with him today. I told him that I was blind before but he crossed the line two weeks ago and I started to see more clearly.

He argued me and made more excuses, but I didn't cave.

It's over.

Funny thing... my friend has already said she wants to set me up with a great guy she knows. Heh.

I'm very happy about my decision.

I broke up with him today. I told him that I was blind before but he crossed the line two weeks ago and I started to see more clearly.

He argued me and made more excuses, but I didn't cave.

It's over.

Funny thing... my friend has already said she wants to set me up with a great guy she knows. Heh.

I'm very happy about my decision.

Well, now, that was easy! Good for you Magsi!