I'm really excited for the lap band but the majority of my friends and family are urging me to not get the surgery. I've been overweight my entire life. I weigh 330 pounds and I'm only 21. My parents won't take me to the appointments( which is 2hours away). I'm so ready to start a new life but it seems that no one is supporting me. What should I do.

Why are your parents so against you getting surgery?

My dad is against me having any type of surgery. He doesn't know how much I weigh because you really can't tell by looking at me and they think I'm taking "the easy way out".

Well your an adult, so its not up to them.

Right now your family SHOULD be there for you. This Surgery will lead you to a healthier happy life.

Im so sorry you dont have the support, but that's what were all here for . Unfortunately we cant TAKE you to your appointments. but maybe theres a friend out there that CAN help you get to your appointments.

So I'd love to hear why your friends and family is against it?

Are the ones against it over weight as well ?

Wow....remember certain people will always be negative just to keep you down because THEY are jealous. Stick to your guns and start a new healthier you. Sit down with your parents and explain what this means to you. I too started at 320 and am now down to 269 (had surgery 3 months ago)...It is the best decision ever. Good Luck to you!

Than you all... This website has helped me in so many ways... I have friends who have lost 100lbs by diet and exercise they are against me having it done. I have another friend who is super skinny and she doesn't want me to get it done ( but I don't take weigh loss advice from someone who's never been overweight) and I think if I sit them down like you said then they might be more supportive.

Thank you guys so much :-) :-)

I am so sorry you dont have the support you deserve. I do believe if there is a will there is a way. I will pray GOD helps you and speaks to someone's heart close to you and you get the support you need.

Thank you so much. And even if I don't I know I'll be okay. It's just frustrating.

Would they we willing to go to a support meeting with you? If so, have them go with you.... then they will see the positive that the LB can do. Also, it will show them that the LB is NOT... the EASY way out. This is by far the hardest "diet" i have ever done. With weight watches, jenny Craig, nutra system,.... and every other fad diet we have all done... you can cheat..... this you can't.

On the other hand, you are an adult now and unless you need them to pay for this, you can do what you want. But make sure this is what you want. It's is not some thing to go into blindly.... it take a lot of dedication. Try the liquid diet for one week, and then think about a life with out most of the things you love to eat...... Mine is Bread, rice, pizza, hamburger with two buns, french fries, wings from Wing stop, steak..... and soooo much more and lets not forget drinking anything with a meal.... no more going out and having that. You either drink 30 min. before or after.... not during.

Good luck with YOUR decision....

It sucks that your parents won't help you right now but you should try to do as much as you can locally to continue on your journey. Are you using insurance to have the surgery? If so, you should contact the company to see what they will require you to do in order to be approved. Hopefully you can get to most of those appointments on your own. Talk to your doctor's office and explain your situation, they may allow you to do some of the appointments via Skype (I live in MD and I am doing the surgery in Florida so the doctor allowed me to meet with their nutritionist that way). Try posting for a local buddy who might be willing to help get to your appointments, you could even ask your doctor's office if they have any patients who live near you who may be willing to help.

You mentioned that your dad doesn't know how much you weigh, well tell him. Tell him about the health problems that you have because of your weight or if you are lucky to not have any problem yet, tell him about the problems that you can face. For most people at your weight it's more of a question of when problem will happen not if. Talk about how you want to be able to be happier and healthier than you are now. Tell that you plan on doing with or without their help but having their help will make it easier for you. If you have failed at other weight loss attempts, explain to them why you failed and tell them how having surgery will help you prevent failing again.

Try to educate them about what surgery options you have and why you decided to go with the band. Talk about how this isn't the easy way out, that the band is actually the procedure that requires the most work after surgery. Finally stay committed and focused in your Quest for surgery, even if you have to it all on your own and it takes more time in the end it will be worth it.

My husband was frightened for me to undergo surgery, but he went with me to the seminar and that set his mind at ease a little bit. He stayed by my side through the whole thing and has a much better understanding of the whole procedure. In the long run he is happy that I did it! Good luck in your band journey!! Hey maybe you should let them read these forums!!

Never forget that people who are overweight, have dieted and exercised, etc. May not want you to get the surgery because they see it as the "easy way out", just as you had mentioned. However, if they chose to do it themselves, and believe they can keep their weight off, great for them. We need the band as a mental and physical TOOL to allow us to control portion control and keep us fuler longer. Who would say no to that kind of tool? Not me!

That stinks that your parents will not suport your decission to have a lap band done. If I can ask how old are you? Can you drive yourself to your apointments? Can you take a cab? Or is public transit an option? This is about your health and your decission to make an informed decision on weather or not surgery is the right thing for you.

Maybe your mom and dad are mis-informed on what the Lap band Is and is not. I hope that you are of age so that you do not need their consent for surgery. I had my stples out today, and I struggled with my weight since I was 10 years old (i'm now 30). I finally made the decision after much research, and after many failed diet and exercise attempts to have surgery. I chose lap band because it was the least invasive of my options. Finally the weight has a chance to come off and stay off for a change.

I had surgery earlier this month and according to my surgon's record i've lost ten pounds. The healing is not to bad and I highly recomend it.

Do do you have a friend who would be willing to suport you in this?

maybe they could help you get to your apointments if your parents are unwilling?

Or is is the distance two hours is an awfuly long ride, can you look up surgons that are closer to home maybe?

Please let me know how you are doing.

icestorm12132008

Definitely not the easy way out. This has been one of the hardest things I have ever done. It has been a struggle physically and emotionally. You are an adult. You have to do what is best for you. Good luck to you!

Sweetie, I've been obese for over 20 years and I was one of those "you're taking the easy way out" people until earlier this year. I'll tell you one thing: YOU are the only person who can make this decision for you.

What finally flicked the switch for me this year was realizing that I've fought my weight for over 20 years, repeatedly saying "I can do this myself...I don't need the easy way out!" And yet...here I am. 215 lbs overweight. So if I can do it myself...why haven't I?

I am now able to look at this surgery as a tool and not as an easy way out. In fact, if you look at the facts and what we all have to do before and after surgery...this is NOT easy. This is a tool, not a quick fix or a guaranteed thing. We all have to work to get the weight off and change the way we're living our lives.

Finally, I thought about my Dad...who was never able to beat his alcoholism and died at the young age of 67. I realized that if there had been a surgery that would have helped him to stop the drinking...I would have supported him. I would have wanted him to do it. Because I would have had so many more years with my Dad...and now he's gone. I'll never have that.

You have to do what is right for you. Let your friends and family know that you've made your decision and that you're standing by yourself. Make it clear that you've heard their input...and now it's time for them to shut it. You can stand your ground and have healthy boundaries...you're going to need to flex those muscles in the months and years to come.

As far as support is concerned, you have it all right here sweetie. You can do this. And we will support you and be here for you.