Whenever I tell people I'm getting weight loss surgery, I feel embarrassed and I don't know why. Maybe because I'm admitting I'm fat and not proud of it? I don't know. What about you guys?

B.B.,

I agree with your idea..it is more embarrassment than not wanting to talk about it. I do feel more comfortable now that I am 3 weeks post-op. Before surgery, I really struggled with not telling anyone except my husband, 2 best friends, my boss and my mom. Other than that, I only shared with 2 women at work that I knew has been banded a few years ago.

For the most part, I plan on saying to anyone who comments about my weight loss (hopefully!) that I am just eating better and exercising. That is the turth, right. We don't own anyone an explanation or debate, for sure!

I felt the exact same way. I was really embarrassed but hey I am over 200Lbs over weight Its not like they could not see it. I was scared people would think I was doing it the easy way but surprisingly once I started telling people they were encouraging. Then when they would ask questions I would tell them how hard it is and what you have to do. Well now they are holding me accountable. I would be embarrassed since I did tell people if I did not make this work for me. It is actually giving me motivation to succeeded and I have actually influenced two others at work to watch my progress they are wanting surgery and are using me as a ginny pig. I know I am on the uphill climb of this and just getting started but I have actually tried harder then I ever thought I would <just to be honest> because I am talking about it and being open. I want people to see I am working hard at this and be proud of me. If I am having a hard time or If I need to get into too much detail and so I don't talk about it 24/7 I spend A LOT of time here. This website has worked wonders for me to find people that are walking down the same path that I am. Find a buddy and make them hold you accountable. If nothing else if you don't want to tell everyone because I have to say I am lucky so far that I have some really supportive people around me But if you don't thats okay. Its not anyones business. I will say this. Come here.. be active and find a buddy on here to hold you accountable. Its worked wonders I feel confident some days and some days I don't. But being here and reading there is someone else out there that is struggling day to day just like me makes me feel normal in this world of chaos I have created.

Some of it's probably fear of the other person's reaction. For some reason, people without weight issues see those of us that struggle and think we should just be able to fix it. The majority of us have tried, tried, and tried some more only to have little to no success - that's why we reach the decision to have surgery. In my opinion, WLS is a tool. A tool to help us do the work it takes to lose weight and become healthy. We still have to DO the work but now we have a tool. It's no different than a smoker using nicotine Patches or pills to help them quit. No different than treating any other addiction....we need help to be successful and this is our tool. I thought about keeping it quiet, but once I realized how much my eating habits would change, and I would be carrying a drink with me everywhere I go, even all day long at work, I knew I would have to be open about it. I'm glad I did - everyone has been very supportive and encouraging. Don't be embarrasased - you should be proud of yourself for making the decision to make a change for a better, healthier you!

i know what you mean. and the USUAL reply is. "oh you're taking the easy way out" easy my ass. you need help getting off the toilet, you cant wash yourself in the shower, it hurts to sneeze. you're doing this for you and no one else! just think of that! and just think, when you're at your goal weight, you'll look better then they do

I don't feel embarrassed when I talk about getting lap band.. When I tell people that what I'm planning most people are excited and proud I'm taking control of my addiction.. which is eating. I'm a binge eater who let this get way out of hand. Plus when I do diet and eat health my other down fall is I never feel full so even I ate healthy I'd still over eat. The only part I'm embarrassed about it allowing myself to get to 320 lb at the age of 22. I'm proud at 22 I'm now taking control of my life to live a healthier life.

I don't even want people to notice the weight LOSS.

Yep... cause in my head I still don't realize how huge I am and my telling people I am having WLS it's like I am having to make that recognition. I've only told a handful of select friends that I trust wholly.

Not any more embarrased than I would have to admit that I went to WW, did Jenny Craig, Nutrisystems, or take insulin.

And those who think it's the easy way, don't understand how the band works. The band merely removes the abnormal, constant hunger. It does not make us put the fork down or choose the right foods. That is still up to us.

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At the beginning I was ok with it and wanted to tell everyone but once I started getting negative comments from ladies at work I felt terrible about telling them and wished I never had. they thought I was taking the easy way out and that if I tried hard enough I could have done it on my own. But then I went and had surgery and once I got through the mushy stages of food and could eat regular foods the ladies at work started noticing how hard it was because I couldnt eat all the foods they were eating on their food days. So from then on they have been supportive and I havent heard anything negative.

I was open with everyone in my immediate circle about planning to have the surgery and I did feel I had to argue my case strongly. I hadnt planned on telling anyone else and was horrified when DH told has mate during a fishing trip that I was having it done. I dont know, maybe admitting I was fat by having surgery meant that other people would suddenly notice "hey, yeah, she IS fat"! It was some sort of warped logic like that. Anyway, got over that very quickly. I am proud. I did something great for my health and wellbeing. The only time since then that it's arisen was going back to full time work and eating in the staffroom with other teachers. And we'd occasionally go out for lunch or something - oh and I had to go on school camp. People did notice that I didnt eat the enormous meals they were all scarfing down and woudl rib me about being so thin and obssessed with dieting. I fessed up and got comments like "oh, boy, I like my food too much to do that". It was kinda embarrassing but not too terrible.

Now I'm unfilled and having no trouble maintaining, so probably wont get a fill again. I eat normal portions now and there's never the awkwardness of getting stuck at the dinner table, but I eat carefully and healthily and I exercise, and we were away with some friends this week and again, they commented on my "obsession" with diet and exercise, when all I did was go out for a run every morning, and say no to a second cookie or second helpings of dinner! I mean, we were away at a beautiful beachside country town, surrounded by glorious Aussie bushland, with walking trails all through and great weather - who WOULDN'T want to go out for a nice hour's jog to enjoy the atmosphere, lol?

No doubt about it, if you dont stuff your face with McDonalds and KFC, take seconds, and sit on your fat lazy bum all day the people want to know why you're anorexic. Its about them, not you. You can feel proud of the fact that you have enough of a brain to say NO MORE and take control of your health.