Hi everyone,

I don't post much on the site, but I need to vent and rant for just a second. I'm devastated because I finally worked up the nerves to ask this cute guy at work if he wanted to go to lunch, and he replied that today wouldn't work because he was really busy. I know there's an upgrade going on this weekend, so he was legitimately busy, but this is what gets me. He didn't say "maybe some other time" or "I'll take a raincheck" or anything like that. Simply "Sorry, today won't work". Am I over-reacting?

I should have prefaced this with we don't really work together. We used to be on the same team, but I just got moved to a different floor because my work is more suited to another team.

In my mind, his reply pretty much equals flat-out rejection because if he were remotely interested he would have offered some sort of alternative. And to make it less awkward, I told him if he could feel free to invite anyone else who may have wanted to tag along.

Help me with this!! I don't want to be a basket case or drama queen, but I'm 33 and SO lonely. When I finally decide to be a little more assertive in going after I want, this is what I get. I don't have a lot of friends, and I don't know where to go to even find potentials.

What are your thoughts? I feel like such a high-schooler with a stupid teenage crush, and I have no idea where to go from here.

Thanks for listening!

PS - one small "victory" is that even though I feel like crap, I haven't turned to food for comfort!!

I'm 36, didn't get married until i was 32. I had a couple bad relationships in college, and i didn't date in High School. My wife got lapbanded last fall and I'm getting the lapband in June. I need to lose around 90-100lbs....I'm lucky that we (my wife and I) have a great looking kid...but I understand the "will i ever get married/in relationship" question. I must also say that I've had "man-boobs" since high school and in high school i weighed 160-170....and was just 10 lbs overweight...

I met and married the man I met on match.com. He was completely opposite of who I "thought" I would be with. He met me at one of my highest weights and loves me for me. He is one of the biggest reasons I was so successful with my band. Please don't give up! The right guy is out there and will love you for you! I was 28 when I met him and married him when I was 30. Oh, and by the way, I didn't get many "hits" on the site either. It just happened.

To the OP, don't get discouraged. Dating is hard, especially when you're in your 30s and up. I know you said you don't get much response to your online dating and you don't post pics of yourself online....this is probably why. It's sad, I know but online dating, men want to see a picture. And the online dating sites always say the most responses have a few pictures. Try one of the secure sites (that you have to pay for like Match or EHarmony) because people on there are generally more serious about finding a relationship because it costs more to be on that site. They want to meet people.

There is some great advice here! 33 is not the end of the line. I got married at 38. I never thought I would be a "married" person. I was going through some really bad times when I met my hubby. I was certainly not looking fora manthen. I swear the angels brought him yo me :-).

I give youcredit for asking this guy out. I know lots of guys don'trealize how they sound. He may be very literal and said " not today" but couldn't t see past today. I am pretty forward, so next time I saw him I would say - did you meannot that day, or not ever? But that's just me.

Go out there and enjoy your life. Stop loking

And things will work out! Congrats on your weight loss and boost your protein to help your hair. Good luck.

I am in the same boat. I am on those sites and have mat strange men. I hope to loose weight and update my pic. I am 37and want to be married and have kids. I feel time is ticking.

The sites like Plenty of Fish and Lavalife, you get all kinds of weirdos on them because they're free sites. Of course there are some creeps on Match and E-Harmony, but a lot of the men are more serious because of the cost to join those sites. Good luck! You will find him out there!