Hi everyone,

I don't post much on the site, but I need to vent and rant for just a second. I'm devastated because I finally worked up the nerves to ask this cute guy at work if he wanted to go to lunch, and he replied that today wouldn't work because he was really busy. I know there's an upgrade going on this weekend, so he was legitimately busy, but this is what gets me. He didn't say "maybe some other time" or "I'll take a raincheck" or anything like that. Simply "Sorry, today won't work". Am I over-reacting?

I should have prefaced this with we don't really work together. We used to be on the same team, but I just got moved to a different floor because my work is more suited to another team.

In my mind, his reply pretty much equals flat-out rejection because if he were remotely interested he would have offered some sort of alternative. And to make it less awkward, I told him if he could feel free to invite anyone else who may have wanted to tag along.

Help me with this!! I don't want to be a basket case or drama queen, but I'm 33 and SO lonely. When I finally decide to be a little more assertive in going after I want, this is what I get. I don't have a lot of friends, and I don't know where to go to even find potentials.

What are your thoughts? I feel like such a high-schooler with a stupid teenage crush, and I have no idea where to go from here.

Thanks for listening!

PS - one small "victory" is that even though I feel like crap, I haven't turned to food for comfort!!

I was not trying to sound like a jerk so I am sorry.

hey youre cute wish you lived in my area,i would try to fix you up with my daughter.THAT'S FOR REAL

Thanks, Everyone for the posts!! They've been really helpful. I've been distracted, and not in a good way. I'm having a serious hair loss phase that's got me pre-occupied. I had problems finding someone when I had a full head of hair, I don't stand a chance now. Life sucks!

hey youre cute wish you lived in my area,i would try to fix you up with my daughter.THAT'S FOR REAL

Thank you for the compliment. I'm still trying to get use to it since everyti e I look in the mirror I still see myself as i use to be

How much weight have you lost? You are VERY handsome!!! I'm sure it'll be no time before you find a girl. How old are you?

Heather

Thank you for the compliment. I'm still trying to get use to it since everyti e I look in the mirror I still see myself as i use to be

Thanks Redhead. I have lost 90lbs in total with the pre op diet included.

Dating in your 30's can be tough. I only had the nerve to ask a guy out once (back in my 20's) and got shot down too. I never did that again because the rejection was too painful for me. I don't know how men do it. I've done online dating, meeting guys in volunteer organizations at parties, BBQs and at clubs. I don't date a lot but being social around men is good practice too. I've met some great people and some not so great people and many times have felt like giving up but the fact is this......even when I don't feel like putting myself out there, I still do it so I can at least have the opportunity to meet men.

Here's some advice. Give yourself a few weeks to lick your wounds, heal up and get back out there. Smile or make eye contact with every guy you meet, including the cute guy on this thread who asked you for your picture. It may lead to more and even if it doesn't, it will be good practice for you. I'm about to take my own advice.

Hi NYsLegend78! !

You were probably good looking before the band. Don't kid yourself. You are gorgeous.

Here's some advice. Give yourself a few weeks to lick your wounds, heal up and get back out there. Smile or make eye contact with every guy you meet, including the cute guy on this thread who asked you for your picture. It may lead to more and even if it doesn't, it will be good practice for you. I'm about to take my own advice.

Hi NYsLegend78! !

You were probably good looking before the band. Don't kid yourself. You are gorgeous.

I dont know about all that but thank you for the compliment lol cause I honestly dont see it

You're welcome.

And a huge congratulations for not turning to food. You are definitely a winner and one day someone special will see that in you as well.

Honestly I feel like the internet is the way to go these days. Use your common sense when you use the internet for dating though. Always meet in a public place, tell a friend where you're going and how to contact so that you're safe, but I found the love of my life on Craigslist, no joke!

I dont know about all that but thank you for the compliment lol cause I honestly dont see it

You're always gonna feel that way at least a little bit. It happens to us all. Women, men etc. When you look in the mirror you still see and feel like that really heavy person. It makes shopping for clothes very weird. You're always trying to pick up clothes that are two sizes too big.

You're always gonna feel that way at least a little bit. It happens to us all. Women, men etc. When you look in the mirror you still see and feel like that really heavy person. It makes shopping for clothes very weird. You're always trying to pick up clothes that are two sizes too big.

I went shopping with my girl cousins and was trying on form fitting shirts and there telling me i look great in it and all i see is my man boobs popping out arrg I hate it why cant I see it

I recently bought one of those "Scene on TV" girdles (because I'm still a big girl) and the salesperson said I couldn't open the packaging and there were no returns. I swore up and down to myself that I was a 2x based on the sizes listed on the box so I had no problem plunking down the money to make a no-refund purchase. When I got home, I immediately ripped open the package and slid into the girdle. Dang! It was at least a size and a half too big. Its kind of a good problem to have.

Don't worry before you know it Love will be close to you, Just give it time!

I'm in the same boat as you! I will be 33 this year, still single, not that many friends. I'm a bit reclusive and I need a lot of alone time, but really, I haven't dated in a couple years now. I've been working on myself, and now that I've got that figured out...it'd be nice to have a guy! I was also on some sites, OKCupid and Plentyoffish.com, I would either get no messages, or the ones I would get were from freaks and losers (not to be rude, but..) I've been thinking about trying Eharmony, but I tried it once before (about 10 years ago) without much luck. Seems like all guys care about is how hot you are and how fast you will sleep with them. I got so sick of it that I took myself off all the dating sites, they just made me feel bad about myself. I don't like church, I don't like bars and clubs, and I work with mostly women... I'm interested in writing so taking a writing class which starts soon, and starting back at college in the fall. Maybe I'll meet someone there. I also signed up for a few groups on Meetup.com, we'll see if I actually make it to any meetings..haha.. If I hit 40 and i'm still single, my plan is to adopt a kid on my own. I'd rather be happy and alone than be miserable with someone I "settled" for.