I ask this because today was a really hard day for me... I am on day 2 of my pre-op diet and it was going really well until i got a bad grade on a test and my mother in law started in on me about how will this surgery change me and if i dont change my habits it's not fair to spend money on a surgery. i really wish i never told her i was going to get the lap band she has been nothing but negativity. after all this junk that happen this afternoon all i wanted to do was pig out on junk. BUT I DIDN'T! i stayed strong stuck to my diet and feel better for it.

now that i am done ranting my question is who is sabotaging you and your efforts? and what do you do to make it stop or do you just live with it and move on? :blushing:

I've been very blessed to have a very supportive family and friends because *I* am the biggest sabotager of myself. ;-p

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The band is actually a behavior modification tool. It makes you eat slower and eat less food. Then you modify what type of food you eat.

So saying you should make all the changes before surgery or you will be wasting the money is a little misinformed. I have made a ton of small changes over the past year, as a matter of fact every Sunday I sit down and decide what the change will be for the coming week. Being banded is a process not an event.

Have you ever watched the show Obsessed? The therapist takes someone who has OCD and exposes them to their fears and makes them cope with it without allowing them to use their coping rituals. I feel like this works with emotional eaters as well. If you have to work through your stress and you can not use your eating coping skills, it will make you stronger. Good job on not using your eating to cope, keep up the good work.

When someone gives me information I am going to disregard, I always tell them, "Thanks for your opinion". And that usually stops the discussion.

You know what is right for you don't let anyone take you off your path. :blushing:

Okay is it her money? Not in the well it's her son's money and she thinks of it as hers. In the real whose bank account does it reside in? If you are an adult and are using your own money. Everyone else can go suck a lemon; and mind their own business. I don't always like other peoples decisions. But when they really have nothing to do with me I have to just cope with it.

Okay is it her money? Not in the well it's her son's money and she thinks of it as hers. In the real whose bank account does it reside in? If you are an adult and are using your own money. Everyone else can go suck a lemon; and mind their own business. I don't always like other peoples decisions. But when they really have nothing to do with me I have to just cope with it.

I think people at work would sabatoge my efforts.All we do at work is eat unhealthy food. Luckily only my husband and mother know. Haven't told anyone partly because of what you are talking about.

Isn't it funny how there is always people telling us what to do. What is the most ironic is that it's people who have not been through it....so what does she know?

Not trying to disrespect your family, but if you want to listen to someones' advice let it be a person who has advice on the subject to begin with. I am struggling with my bad habbits and still managed to lose 25 lbs in 3 months. It cant be said better than Liegha said it "it is a process not an event."

Hang in there and visit us often!

In general it is always easy to make judgements from the outside. There's a reason for the proverb "walk a mile in my shoes". Personally alcohol does'nt do a thing for me. Period. I have to have sweet dessert drinks so why bother with the alcohol; I might as well just eat a piece of cake. My brother however is a recovering alcoholic. Our difference is I can walk away from beer; and you would have to force feed him cherry pie. I find that weight problems are something that many people cant empathize over. Unfortunately you may never get someone to understand why you've made the this decision if they are not of the mindset to really listen.

Negativity is a good reason why so many of us don't tell to many people, at least not at first when the surgery hasn't happened. As for pigging out...I get it. I fight with that urge every time something emotional happens...loneliness, anger, frustration...you name it I eat.

I remember getting into a fight with my husband over something dumb many years ago and we were sitting in a car in front of a cafe and I told him that this fight was making me want to walk right over to the cafe and buy a pumpkin pie and eat the whole thing right there. It was at that moment that I realized what an emotional issue this was for me.

I am spending some of my pre-surgery time researching what I am going to do when I can no longer binge to feel better. I think this will be one of the hardest things for me to deal with.

Sorry that you had a hard day! Thank god for the support you have here! Why exactly is it not fair to spend the money on the surgery? Is your MIL overweight, and possibly jealous of you for having the courage to find a way to be healthy? Is it not fair to her son to have a wife who likes how she looks, who has a great self esteem, who is healthy and beautiful. What's not fair about that?

I think you already know...I have not told anyone but my DH about my surgery for this exact reason! People think they have the right to tell you what they think, when it doesn't matter what they think. The only thing that matters is you and your health! If she becomes too negative, try to distance yourself. As many of us can agree, being judged can trigger us to eat more! She's not worth it! You will be successful and you will have the last word!

I am sabotaging my self, also. I have been banded for 16 months and have lost 56 pds so far. Some times I really think I need to talk to a pro about my problem ! LOL I think I have done this to myself and don't really know what to do about it. I chose not to tell any one where I work b/c of all the negative comments and opinions. The problem is, I am usually very open about things in my life and now I feel like I am lieing to every one. When I first started losing weight, ppl would ask me how I was doing it and I would tell them I just cut back on my food and walked more. Now that I'm still losing, some of them want to go on my diet. I also want to tell some of them b/c they are really struggling with their weight like I was !! But I can't ever tell them b/c I don't want to be known as a liar!! I really think I made the right choice by not telling, I just have to convince my heart and mind and get on with my new healthly life style ! Well, I certainly feel better !! Thanks for letting me vent !!

I feel like my boyfriend is sabotaging my effort although not intentionally. Unfortionitally we live in a one bedroom apartment and anything you cook quicky smells up the whole place. He needs to eat I understand that but it kills me to smell it. I know he really wants me to have this done and be well. The last day or so he has been eating in another room. That does help but it is still tempting.

On monday just 3 days after I started I had to put my cat to sleep. Talk about stressful times-that day I was to sick to my stomach to even do my liquid shakes. The next day I was dressed and standing in the kitchen with my bank card ready for McDOnalds... But I stopped myself.

On my diet I can only have a few select ( 16oz) veggies/fruits a day plus my shakes. Absolutaly no meat, chz, or milk which has killed me...

WAY TO GO ZENIADA! YOU DIDNT CHEAT. YOU SEE, YOU DO HAVE IT IN YOU TO DO THIS! I PERSONALLY THINK YOUR MOTHER IN LAW IS JUST JEALOUS. WHY ELSE WOULD SHE BE SO NEGATIVE TO YOU? SOME PEOPLE JUST CANT BE HAPPY FOR OTHERS BECAUSE THEY ARE SO UNHAPPY THEMSELVES. YOU ARE AN AMAZING WOMAN WHO REALIZES THAT YOU ARE WORTH EVERYTHING! JUST KEEP DOING WHAT YOURE DOING & YOU SEE ALL THE SUPPORT YOU HAVE ON HERE. I AM LUCKY TO HAVE SO MUCH SUPPORT FROM MY FAMILY. MY INLAWS WERE SO HAPPY FOR ME THEY WERE ALMOST IN TEARS. THEY ADMITTED TO ME THAT THEY HAD SEEN IN THE PAPER BEFORE ABOUT DOING THIS SURGERY BUT THEY WERE AFRAID TO MENTION IT TO ME BECAUSE THEY DIDNT WANNA HURT MY FEELINGS. YOUVE GOT SO MUCH SUPPORT FROM OTHERS THOUGH. STAY TOUGH & IMAGINE ALL THE FUN SHOPPING WE ARE GONNA BE ABLE TO DO! YAY!!:thumbup:

Loving concern is one thing, but someone using controlling manipulation because they think they know what's best for you (actually themselves) is another.