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The same three pounds are on and off. I'm essentially the same weight I was this time last year. I know if I worked harder at it I would have more success. My food choices are for the most part good. Im sure there could be more tweaking but realistically I can't do any better. Exercise is the hard part. If I could do 3-5 days a week I know I would be a success. I responded well to coaching but I've hit my $$ limit. Personal trainers work but are expensive!! I can not afford to invest any more. I had reduced the sessions to once a week thinking that would stretch out the time I had and hold me accountable. Ha! Even with me paying for him to care I could tell he was losing interest. Today it really hit me because I went to my trainers only to find he is out of business. I had prepaid for my sessions and am now out that $$. I wish I had someone in my life that cared more about my health then I do. My job is sucky. I do the financial side of the business and can see that the company is sinking. We are downsizing like crazy and moving the office to a smaller location but I think I will need to be looking for another job soon. Which sucks because Im socially close to my boss & his family and that friendship will suffer. Ya more stress. I gotta say Im feeling like a failure. I used to look in the mirror and think I looked good. Big yes, but good. Now I just see hanging, flabby, rolls of skin. I am the stereotypical fat person. I complain about the situation but am not willing to actually do the hard work that is necessary. Not sure why I felt the need to come over here and darken your day. Guess I just needed to unburden. Feeling guilty.

I'm blessed with a really great tailor - Chris. Her s-i-l had lapband so she gets it. She's also straight up about what she can and can't do. I really hate shopping - I've said it before - even when I was a size 8/10 I hated it. So I naively thought that I'd just had everything taken in - they do it with wedding gowns don't they? Well, Chris had me try on what I brought including a couple of brand new size 24 Charter Club "Allison" pants..which were too small when I bought them in January. She was honest - they were too big to take in and the inseam(crotch) was so low it just wasn't flattering. So I guess it's time to face facts and go through my closets - Consignment stores here I come! Oh - my shoes are now loose too. Better not let my husband see the shopping bags!:tongue:

upper gi varium test done due to ongoing pain when i eat or drink it showed ihave modules lumps at both ends of incision site near staple line i am to take prilosec for a month and have egd test is this bad? sounds scary and bad btw was sleeved july 12th and loosing alot of hair please share any info on this matter thank you

Happy Holidays to everyone! My Dear friends I need some help here. I was banded Oct 28/08 loose 15 pounds before my 1st fill. On Dec 7 I got my first fill 1.4cc and I have not loose on once!! what I'm doing wrong??? I know my BMI was not to high but I'm so discorage..I want to cry!!:laugh::hurray:

For the few of you who requested to see some of my poetry - here is a little sampling. This one is being published in a magaine called Pyramid Poetry in February- Recorded Errors All is not everything within the spiritual realm of things. No one though to decide the matter, fearing when the ashes scatter. All is all within one's mind, stumbling down the paths and winds. Questions fall through "pulled tight" blinds believing only the truths we find. No matter if that truth is shallow revelations of the cold and hollow. These answers leave recorded errors mixed within our sins and prayers. Holding onto human ways from which I've lived in my day. Ordering Banquets in my soul fighting off the wind and cold. Wanting all I love and share to surround me in life's rocking chair. To tap the gentle rythmned toe that dances in the moonlight glow. To hold the spirit deep inside of joy, of passions sparkling eyes. To taste of life, to always savor love and kindness, Nature's favor. To feel complete...as one who sees the faith and comfort... from my knees. With Me The Fat Fairie tricked me she told me she'd be My friend My family My love so sweet.... The Fat Fairie she left me with all of her lies... Wear black, Wear heels, Wear no stripes to the side. The Fat Fairie she's sly... She's living rent free. She built an addition... She's living with me. Don't Feel Sorry For Me Don't feel sorry for me. Don't look my way and think to yourself "She's so pretty...if only she could lose some weight". I know it's a touchy subject but I don't care. I am full of life and love to share. Maybe it's my private shield, usually people don't enter who are not for real. Sometimes it can give me the ede. I'm friends with some who might have been intimidated instead. I've been up and I've been down. It has been a merry-go-round. I've felt the sting of judging eyes. I've been embarrassed I have cried. But I've also found that I can be. All that matters all I need. I can star in passion's play, I am free... I'm not afraid. Filtered Remains Followed by sadness black in my day. Fearful of gladness hollowed by pain. Sweetness is savored viewed thru the rain. Somehow remembered filtered remains... Solitude teaches, preaches and cries. Left to ourselves without a disguise. Around me the shattered judgments that lie, know not of my shoes, 'nor of my life. And everything matters everything breaks. No wonder the trials we live make us brave. Silly hearts notion Dreams will survive. Little girls still make wishes at night. Blue... Blue is more than the general interpretations of blue. Blue is gentle words of knowing comfort zones of loving. Blue is hard and black as steel cold eyes and anger’s dangerous drive. Blue is deep a non-ending spirit of the soul. Blue is soft so vast in all it touches all it cares to behold. Blue is thoughts I have from me to you. Blue is building passions desire... unbridled truth. Blue is bruised when held within restraints of time and place. Blue is bluer when my heart whispers your name. Blue is here it fills my silent soul. Blue is screaming (the deepest blue) of mortal dreams. Blue is erotica oceans and skies of desire blue...is enveloping blue is blue. Where the world will never find me... You touch me without being near. You hold me captive take me where my heart is shaking from the fear of holding you.... of not... I couldn’t bear...the thought. I want you. I know I am not supposed to reach for that outside my boundaries I have never listened very well... my heart seems captivated by your spell of enticement and desire temptation so strong it consumes before the day...one day. When my heart lies with yours and we discover all the wonder in our minds all the passion in our souls as one... uncovered. I want to give to you. I want to hold you in these arms that feel you there.... and offer all I’m feeling all I care... to show - to bring to your heart today. I touch you in my mind I want to feel you touch me... take me where the world will never find me ......happy. I feel you near - it binds my heart and soul in desire I can’t control. I need you one day... These Secrets In My Soul... I want to go to a deserted tropical paradise I want to bask in the breeze where the sun kisses my skin Caressing my heart and I know... I want to lay in your arms as the sun sets on love to explore passion and freedom and more... I want to lay in your arms. I want to shut from our day all the world. We are but one - two souls... gravitating against all the rules. Love does not mean to be cruel robbing the heart of one’s jewels. Love trips you up and then catches you when you fall. Love is all. I want to discover the warmth of your soul. Where fantastic riches of the soul begs my being to behold... You...to feel the warmth of your touch. These dreams are not enough. I want to ravage and be ravaged in all this passion scene encompassing holding me endlessly in desire. I want to know I need to share these secrets in my soul... my heart my desire my love reaching out for you to know. Hope Without Warning Closing doors peaking round corners trying to escape yesterday. Sealing shut...emotions left to their own devices prone to guilty mis-interruptions distorted from the everyday ho-hum, boring reality. Storing away years of trial, rivers of tears swallowed down with pride, choked on by the pain overflowing inside, taunting my soul's heart. And I can't stop... what has been there's no re-write to pen no time left to mend. No Love in my hands to share. Just this glimpse of the morning hope without warning. A chance that we'll somehow survive. I Believe... God in his infinite wisdom put me here. How can I refrain? Life works - yes in such mysterious ways. Life’s struggle has built my very soul. Trials and heartaches can make one... so very old. And sometimes very cold. I should know... I’ve felt the sting it lives in me... an unwelcome menace to my soul no warmth...no glow just what I know. God holds my hand through forests thick with rain. He heals my pain and sends me back to try again. This sad refrain that bears my name this solemn shame this sordid game of heart... and soul. All I know. God lift me high to feel the light of love this burdened soul this wounded bird has had enough... just a little love just a little love my eyes of tears focus through the rain my heart of years struggles with the pain. I know your name... it’s not the same I'm Going To... You break me in and take me out of my mind. You hold your breath then tell me I’m the one who’s out of line. I draw the line.... never - no more I see the door in my sight. And I know that this, this - just ain’t right... this bitter fight of love. You shake me, hate me fill me deep into my soul this angry cold let’s me go - alone regardless of my intent you look right past the tender kiss the sweetened love we shared - we knew. You forget in moments of pain and rage. You lose track of just who you are talking to it’s me... the one who loved you suffered to be near it’s me... the one who needs you who wishes you could hear. My heart beat my heart bleed in love with you. Can’t you stop can’t you feel.... I’m going to. In All I am thankful to be sensitive to the callousness of the world.... Otherwise I would just be part of it. Turning cold on feelings, growing old feeling... superior instead of accepting the innate Equality in life, the beauty in all offerings of the world. No Moment In Time Laughter fills my heart when I share it with you. Those precious moments of companionship joy and love, hope and passion fill me with happiness laughter with my friend, my best friend. Love fills my soul holds me in it's wondrous spirit healing...holding together the dreams we both share. Smiling and knowing acknowledging the moments that are ours... the living...realizing. How lucky we have been to know... To touch daily that zone of comfort those arms of love... that reach out and know that nothing could ever be so right. For me...for you We're lucky - so lucky to have this time. I love you so much no moment in time, could fill me with joy without you by my side. Played Destiny To feel the savored closeness of every moment... knowledge of our love. A tiny basket finely weaved in fate. Overflowing with a lifetime of joy. To touch you in the starlight to feel your presence in a rush. Spellbound in passion taken by your touch. Held by your loving arms... where I am me. I am completed I am softly sweet. To love you always, My deepest prayer will be. thru life's hard journey... you are the memories. You are the seed, for all of my tomorrows... To be whole to be complete. In your heart I feel the power, that our souls... Played Destiny. Our Hopes Unfold When all around this day evolves into seconds that are gained or lost. When every drop of rain depletes, another hope, another dream. If all else fails I’ll walk your way. and together we can humbly pray. For all is just a lump of clay. we break, we mold, we chip away. All is in our hearts and souls. too much to hold and just let go. We can build our dreams within... and shadows of the world begin. To face, to falter in the night. when we release the faith, that keeps the light. We unleash the power of the soul. and fighting through the wind and cold. Our dreams become reality. our hopes unfold and set us free. Remnants I want to forget the fitful embers of love remnants of all you were to my taken soul. I need to burn from my mind, all these memories; every instinct I know. That lingers through the air that I breathe, as I feel the loss of you so. I feel the cavern, the tear that you leave. I know all is the way it must go. I know so much more that you show or you leave. You’re not everything you’re just everything…I once believed. I can’t begin to go on, I can’t but I do. you push me and inside… in secret…I bleed. All my heart begs to go, all my love, all I know…all I need. I feel you near where my heart holds you dear. I hold you close I let you go… or you leave. You’re not in my dreams you’re just the reason I can’t sleep. So Long The Moments Miles may seperate but distance means nothing to love. Hours have passed to days and months and now years have joined the race. I still need you so... These feelings never go from me. All this distance fuels the fire and fighting through this blind desire... I am strangled, I am bitten, I am certainly... not complete. It seems as if life's cruel game has left its mark of pain and I can't take this anywhere to make it right again. I search the map to find you where and I feel the void...I miss you here. So long the moments of my soul this heart turned red now fights the cold. My love, my dream...my fantasy reaches in darkness to your love so sweet. My eyes wide open wincing truth, this hope...this passion burning through. I hope you guys enjoy these..... any questions regarding my work - you can contact me at visualpoetryart@aol.com nancy jean

Hi, I had my surgery 10/21 and I have lost 45 pounds! Which is great but over the last month I haven't lost any weight. I'm not sure if I need another fill or not but I struggle with my head a lot! I will eat and I feel satisfied but my head wants more and more. Sometimes I can eat and till I'm STUFFED....a feeling I haven't had in MONTHS. Sometimes I can't. I'm afraid of getting another fill because I'm not sure I need one because it's my head. I feel like I'm loosing control and motivation. I've been sneaking See's! I guess I'm putting this out there for accountability, I need to be accountable for this and I need to get my self in check.

Hello All, I have had four fills and the last one was way too tight. I lasted two weeks until I had to go back to my doc to take out some fluid. It was pretty bad everything was getting stuck and water was even tough to get down. I asked the dr. what cc's are in my band so i can try and figure out what is good for me. His response was rude...its too complicated for you to figure it out leave it up to me. Well, that was a week ago. I have no restricition and have gained a couple of pds. Is this what your dr.'s told you?

Hello BScott.....I'm wondering if your fill involved the doc taking out some fill first in order to see what was in there...in other words does your provider draw all the fluid out into the syringe and then push it back in with the additional fluid? Mine does that so he can check to see the fill level I have in my band already, then he pushes that back in plus more until it "kicks back" against his thumb (is how he put it the last time I asked him how he knows how much to put in.). I'm wondering if there is a chance that your doc didn't actually add much more if anything. They sometimes loose track of what was in the syringe in the first place. I have had fills where I barely noticed the difference but, I've also had fills that were too much and ended up with acid reflux as I got closer to my sweet spot. Go slow with your fills too because it helps you adjust to what you can and cannot eat as your band gets tighter. Also...after a fill it sometimes takes a week for it to kick in. Just some hints I hope are helpful for you. If after a week you don't feel restiction or it seems loser then definately call your provider and let him/her know. Let them check whats in there again. Good luck.

ShannonK not sure, could be wrong but........when i used to diet and would loose a substantial amount of weight - i was told "your stomach does get smaller since you weigh less" - not positive but...... the walking your doing is great exercise, hope your knees feel better as they have less to hold up/carry you need to work harder at drinking more H20 - 40 oz??? it took me a long time, now i drink 64 oz plus - you can do it too congrats on your good work good luck in all your tomorrows

Hi PPL Like Seriously, im scared as hell if i really do get this surgery it would be my first! but anyways... I was just wondering like after do you ever like miss ur weight? In a way its kind of a stupid question but im just like asking my self all these questions... and i always like dream about how im going to look in the future,act,look at other overweight people...Like after u got ur surgery, did u change like inside wise? i mean am i the only person that thinks this... one other thing that is holding me back from this surgery is the excess skin deal... lol like.... Would it be better for me to lose weight before i get it to keep the risk of excess skin low or w.e ... or it doesnt make a difference? this surgery is FreAkin me out!!! :smile2:

I did break my stitches loose from the port and the doctor just put me on some antibotics and sent me home. I could actually feel it when the stitches came loose. Hope everything is okay with you

I prefer morning as I'm tighter in the morning. I don't want to get a fill at night when I'm loose and then the next morning not be able to drink because I've tightened up. As I progress I may move to nights and then just accept that I can't really eat breakfast because I'll be too tight.

I am 11 days post op and yesterday I noticed a lump the size of a quarter under the skin under that incision. I called the surgeons office and the RN said that it was only a sack of fluid/blood that collected and that my body would take care of this in about 3-4 weeks. Anyone else experience this problem?:biggrin:

Every person who has a Lap-Band. This may help you in understanding the restrictive mechanism of a Lap-Band. The INAMED protocol for Lap-Band fills calls for a six-week delay after surgery, prior to any fills. The purpose for the six-week delay is for the patient’s stomach to heal from the surgery, as well as allowing time for the Lap-Band to “Seat” or “Nestle” into the fat pad between the stomach wall and the interior wall of the Lap-Band. Prior to receiving an EFFECTIVE fill, it is VERY uncommon to have any restriction from a Lap-Band. Some patients will NOT lose weight, or may even GAIN weight until they have received an effective fill in their Lap-Band. Normal weight loss with a properly restricted Lap-Band is between 1 and 2 pounds per week. The normal cycle of fills, restriction and weight loss is as follows: 1. The patient's Lap-Band constricts when the patient receives a fill. Swelling for a few days after receiving a fill is very common. Many doctors require a patient to go on a liquid diet for a day or two after receiving a fill. A fill may have a “Delayed Action” of up to two weeks. A “Delayed-Action” means that the fill may not become effective for up to two weeks after the fill. That is why the INAMED protocol states that fills should not be performed on patients who will not have access to medical care for at least two weeks after a fill. 2. The patient's stomach capacity is lessened as a result of the restriction caused by the Lap-Band. 3. The patient loses weight because they cannot eat as much food. 4. The residual fat-pad between the inside of the Lap-Band and the outside of the patient's stomach reduces in size because of the overall weight loss in the patient. 5. The reduction of the residual fat-pad causes the Lap-Band to become loose again. 6. At that point, the patient needs another fill, because the Lap-Band is loose, and the patient has a loss of restriction, which allows the patient to eat larger amounts of food. 7. The patient receives another fill and the process starts all over again. Most Lap-Band patients receive several fills to adjust the Lap-Band as their weight loss progresses, and there is less and less residual fat-pad between the inside of the Lap-Band and the exterior of the stomach wall. Once a patient has lost all of their residual fat-pad, fills become less common. As the Lap-Band patient progresses in their weight loss, the effect of very tiny fills (Less than .2ccs) becomes greater and greater. It is not uncommon for a late-stage Lap-Band patient to experience a significant difference in restriction with as little as .05cc of fill.

you will love it and good luck on loosing all of your weight

I'm not a vet but I'm close to goal.I am 147 today.my lowest weight as an adult was 180ish.No one knows me at this size.my highest weight was 324.Iwish I was invisible at that weight,but unfortunately I attracted an amazing amount of contempt from society.perfect strangers would scream at me from their cars obscenities and call me pig,cow,buhda.Men would tell their so's within my earshot that if they got fat like me they would dump them.People would look at everything I put in my shopping cart.Now I have a level of anonymity that I have never had.People treat me with respect.Men open doors for me.I had to learn to graciously accept compliments.....It is so hard.I have a So,but I get jealousy from him now. I am getting comfortable in my own skin but it takes time.Ive never known a time where people didn't try to define me by my weight.

I am 2 years and 7 months post surgery. I looked like I was at a normal albeit curvy weight about a year post surgery. I'm currently 122 lbs on a 5' frame. While that is considered a "normal" BMI, I'm far from skinny. I started a new job July 2015 where no one knew me in my "fat" body. It's been an interesting experience. I'm completely used to my eating habits, but I guess to the uninitiated, my habits are odd. I eat small meals every few hours, that mostly consist of a type of meat. I can walk into our office kitchen and not be tempted by the Snacks (a better word for crap) that are left on the table. Over the holidays I got so tired of hearing the comments about how I was "so good" or how they couldn't wait for me to "cut loose" and "be bad" at the holiday party, that I outed myself. I took two of the staff members into my office, showed them before pictures, told them about my surgery and told them that I was doing what I needed to do to keep the body I now have. The comments have, for the most part, stopped and I'm happy about that. Yes, It's nice to no longer be "invisible" or treated with disdain. I'm learning to say "thank you" when someone compliments me rather than "thank you, but . . . ." and then draw focus to the parts of me I don't like. It's sometimes difficult, and odd for sure.

hi plum007, i have been reading your blogs and was interested. i too didn't loose heaps of weight on the opti like most people do, i have lost 6.5kgs since the begining which i thought was quite low compared to others. however i did start on more solid food about two and a half weeks post surgery which to some is quite soon. but anyway i feel good and i will be watching this site to keep me broad minded about the whole experience. i guess its not always text book for everyone. keep up the good work.

I havent had a fill yet, but have had to give myself injections forever and have had some minor skin surgery....sometimes the sting from the local is worse than just getting the poke done...:thumbup:

My experience is.. As long as I can drink sips of any liquid. I am fine.. I dont care how long it takes (well all I ever did it for was 3 weeks) IF I am having chest pains or spitting up.. on my own saliva.. and sipping warm liquids is impossible... then I need an unfill so I dont risk my band. OTHERWISE, I would let the fill calm down... be it a few days or a few weeks.. (AS LONG AS I DONT HAVE ANY PAIN OR SPITTING WHICH I DONT CUZ I DONT ALLOW IT) BUT, this all PISSEs me off.. (I am stressing out now that a fill is a week away).... I swelll so much, that I dont end up getting a good fill.. Well, I didnt last time.. I DID the time before and I realize I was real lucky cuz there is a fine line between chest pains and spitting up your own saliva (NOT OK) to being able to sip in the AM and drink liquids in the PM (OK for me) So.. SOMEHOW I have to come as close as possible and not go over.. ITS STUPID.. But its the only way I will lose weight.. and thats been prooven so far.. People said when i looosened up.. I would lose weight.. But I stopped loosing just like I thought I would. I dont see anything wrong with never eating solids again.. DONT MONKS do it or something?

Through high school im known as the pale girl. Im not really a tanner, i have twice, but it was to help my skin heal, i know girls who tan and they have nicer skin. I know long term its bad, but its fine i've never been a big tanner. I'm one of those girls who pale suits them. :wink2:

I am replying based on my sister's experience. Before the surgery she started doing all kinds of exercises, stretching etc. She used jugs of water, cans, etc. so didn't spend money on it. She continued doing that after the surgery and she also used the cocoa butter lotion the whole time to avoid as many problems as possible. It did help her a lot. She would still like to get surgery to take off some of the extra skin etc, but really for losing over 100 lbs she looks great. I can only hope to have the same experience.

adding weigts to your weekly workout routine will help tons. not in just the losing (more lean muscle helps with your metabolism overall) but it will help your toning. saggy skin is a side affect of major weight loss, so toned muscles help the skin not look so saggy. I do cardio 6 days a week and some sort of weight training 4 days a week. I just started the p90x and love it!

I'm 23 and I'm also getting banded in December '10 (on the 30th to be exact - just set my surgery date today!), and I'm also worried about having tons of loose skin. Partially because I've been pregnant (with twins) and partially because of what people say about the amount of muscle tone you can lose if you don't work out... maybe we can keep each other motivated! Sorry I don't have anything good to put in, but just letting you know you're not alone in your boat!!

Yesterday made 3 weeks post op for me. I feel hardly any restriction. I go for my first fill on Monday. I'm so ready. I feel like I haven't had weight loss surgery. I can eat anything. I have even eaten a little toasted bread today with no restriction. The incision where my port is located is still very sore. The others I hardly notice. Hoping that goes away soon. It feels like my port is very close to skin. I can feel the whole outline of it when I touch it, and when I'm standing it actually protrudes a little.