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1 week pre op......
Nancy Rivers replied to cantwait1's topic in PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
Welcome to the forums! Congratulations on making the decision and getting your date! That is awesome! Every surgeon is different in their requirements for food plans. Follow the directions that your surgeon gives you as they know what is best for their practice. When I was on my pre-op diet, I could have Protein shakes as well as "real food" items like salads. That made it more bearable. A full liquid only diet would consist of clear fluids - Water, crystal light, Isopure, broth, sugar free jello; as well as liquids that would fit through a straw - milk, yogurt, Protein Shakes, pureed Soups, etc. -
Diet Progression
btrieger replied to retiredlinda47's topic in POST-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
Mine was Protein shakes; Water and non-calorie soft drinks only but other include sugar free Jello, popsicles, yogurt, etc... -
I Invented A New Low-Carb, High Protein Food Today
amarieh replied to DesertRat's topic in Food and Nutrition
Greek yogurt is a main part of my diet because it has double the protein. You can add a tiny bit of jam to it and it will taste delicious. It goes down very smoothly and is filling....so I still eat it even though I am on "full foods". -
I can't have anything besides yogurt and clear liquids until 2 weeks. Then the only bread sort of item I can have are small healthier crackers like a few wheat thins and those are sparingly. At week 9 I can have flatbread. That is the only mention of bread in my plan.
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I have been having the same issue. Most days, I eat several very small meals. At first, I was only able to eat 4 or 5 bites, but as I progress (I am almost 6 wks out) the amount I can eat increases. Don't panic and just try to make up the difference with Protein shakes. If they get hard to drink, try mixing them with, pudding, yogurt, coffee (decaf if your plan does not condone it), etc. or get unflavored protein and mix into warm broth or other Soups. I think this is pretty normal and part of the process. Good luck!
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Krisstep when you get past the horrible feeling from using milk in cream of wheat, you might try a little of the yogurt. I have become lactose intolerant since my surgery but it does not include yogurt, cheeses etc, only the milk stuff is a problem for me. If it is a problem I think there are things for lactose intolerant people to take before they have dairy and it works for them to solve the problem.
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hi guys long island ny here... i am just curious why you are on clear liquids for so long?? i guess every doctor is different.. i was banded on april 21st and the next day i was allowed full liquids like cream soups yogurt and pudding..protein shakes also...today is day 10 for me and i am feeling good.. i am due to start mushy foods on thursday and it seems you will still be on clear liquids..i wonder why such an extreme difference??
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Hey Paco..Having another rough day. I am so hungry..my stomach is always growling:cry . I know it is worth it in the end. Only one more week until I can eat mushies:banana . I hope I last that long. I am so tempted to try some yogurt or cottage cheese. I do know if I cheat now and there are no repurcutions it will play with my head and lead me to believe it is ok to cheat so...... Guess I will just do something else to pass my time. See you tomarrow. If I need I will call later. thanks for all your help.
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when I was pregnant I used to eat plain yogurt and dip kit-kat bars in the yogurt .... When I was little I used to eat dog biscuts ,sick huh ?
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fruit yogurt with cheese garlic bead dipped in soda (mostly sprite or diet coke) rather yummy!! Otherwise i am really picky with my food - i think fruit in a normal salad is just like totally WRONG!! WHO DOES THAT MY GOD! And pineapple in pizzaa?? GOSH! Pehehehe!!
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I make my own and use plain greek yogurt to increase the Protein and cut the sweet. During my all liquid phase I did 2 sweet shakes I made in the nutra bullet and then added unflavored Protein Powder into broth for dinner. That savory made made things bearable. I have no problems blending it into hot beverage. You can't add it over direct heat or it will clump. I either add the powder while whisking after it's in the bowl/cup, or I dissolve the powder with a tiny bit of warmer water and then temper the hot liquids into it. Either way it's completely dissolved and smooth every time. Pretty much any store bought smoothie is going to be high in carbs and sugar and low in protein. I'm on there as Milaxx
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Revision completed
Christina760 replied to Tracyringo's topic in Revision Weight Loss Surgery Forums (NEW!)
Hi I had my revision Monday 11/2. 11/3 was horrible. Not as easy as the sleeve was and I’m starving lol I cried, my nurses (2) sucked and I was in a lot of pain! More then before way more but today is day 5 post op and I’m better. My incisions started to get infected bcuz I had a rash from the dermabond so I had to Peep it off and now I’m on a horse pill antibiotic. I’m already dropping weight. I only felt a little acid last night when I had Greek yogurt. My doc gave me a diet plan to follow from day 3-16. -
Hey I never thought of using the Mio drops. I use the Torrini sf syrups or DaVinci sf syrup. I do love the Greek yogurts that have the fruit in them, but the carbs are very high. I have also put SF jam in the plain. It's really good when you add in a little sf pudding mix. The syrups thin out he yogurt but the pudding thickends it back up and makes it quite tasty.
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At 3 months out I can eat a 4oz yogurt with no pain or problems but a 1.5 to 2oz meat of any kind is all I can eat. Is anyone else able to eat a larger portion of something soft than with siemobe solid?
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Back to the hospital
southernsoul replied to Melissa1234's topic in POST-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
So sorry you're having a rough time, but it does get better. I had terrible diarrhea my first 6 days postop & I still have no idea how I managed to stay hydrated. It was awful & I felt so weak! My doc ended up adding kefir (liquid yogurt) into my diet & it made a world of difference for me. Hang in there...this too shall pass! -
fast foods I have a problem with it won't go down. if i have a burger, it is w/out the roll. and i can't even think about fries. but by the time i eat the burger I'm full. bread of any kind NO WAY! but if i toast rye bread and make it hard i can get a few bits before it gets stuck. not worth it. once something gets stuck and the sliming starts i can't eat for 1 hr. breakfast usually is crangrape juice w/benefiber in it and my 8 pills, then I'm full thats around 7:00 am. at 1:00 p.m. i may have tomatoe soup or cottage cheese or yogurt. if I'm home for dinner it would be some kind of protein ad some kind of canned veg. if I'm out i omit the veg. because i can't get it cooked soft enough to get it down. sometimes i will eat salad if it goes or i ask for cucumbers and vinegar. i think my biggest thing is that i don' exercise. but that is going to end soon.
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My list is this: Calcium (1000-2000mg) B-12 (dissolve kind) Protein shakes Isopure drinks broth Low fat Greek yogurt Carnation instant Breakfast, sugar-free I already have the other Vitamins, pill crusher, comfy clothes for the hospital, Protein powder, timer to wear, and it am sure a few things that I am forgetting.
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I was banded on May 20, 2009 with the Realize-C Band. I researched through message boards when decided upon banding, but waited until after to join. I don't have to tell you how I got here, do I? Surely, you know. Low Calorie, Low fat, low carb, Weight Watchers...if it is out there, I have probably done it. The last thing I did was Medifast. I lost 70 pounds and found it all back and then some. (Drat) I was in Vegas with a friend in Febuary. With all the freakin' mirrors there, there was no way to deny what I had done...AGAIN. I got back home, had a good cry and decided it was time to do something permanent. I didn't want to go with the By-pass. I probably read too many on-line blogs where people had bad experiences. But, the band sounded like the right thing for me. I researched my area here in Bradenton, Florida. I decided on Sarasota Memorial's program. On with the program I went: 1. Seminar 2. Eat Healthy for Life Program 3. Psych evaluation 4. Nutritionist consultation 5. Meet with Primary care Doc for letter of necessity 6. Surgeon Consult 7. Barium Swallow (bleah), Chest x-ray 8. Blood work up 9. Pre-admission testing (EKG, more blood, pre-surgery discussion) 10. Dietician consultation Wednesday, my surgery was scheduled for 1 pm. That meant no food or drink after midnight. O-M-G!! Sooo hungry. Had to be a the hospital at 11. Talk about hurry up and wait. I had to get through 3 receptionists before going to the pre-pre-op waiting room. I had to give a urine sample for a pregnancy test! From there a nice man took me to the pre-op room. He gave me plastic bags for my clothes and the lovely hospital gown. So, I got changed and up on the bed. Waited for a few minutes and got my phone so I had something to do. My pre-op nurse came in and took my vitals and got the IV started. Got the heparin shot in the belly. (Lots of fun) Surgery was running an hour late. My anesthesiologist came in and had a follower. A very nice young man who went to the same school as my daughter. And yes, he did know her. Oh, and the anesthesiologist's son goes to the same school. Perrrrrfect. Then time went by for a while. My nurse came back and chatted for a while. This was nice as I was quite bored with the waiting. She left and I got the brilliant belated notion to turn on the TV. It took some manuvering to reach the remote with the IV in, but I prevailed! I found the end of "Sleeping with the Enemy." The anesthesiologist's techs came in and readied me for going to the OR. They were hilarious. They totally wanted to watch the end of the movie, too. We saw Julia shoot her abusive husband and then they gave me that pre-surgery shot. Things get blurry from there. I remember the bed going out of the room. I remember the brightness of the OR. I remember having the gas mask put over my face and nothing. Next thing is telling someone that I hurt and I was nauseous. I have no idea why or who. The person was saying calming things. My eyes flew open and I begged, "Please don't let me throw up!" Suddenly, I was in my hospital room. There may have been more that occurred with me interacting, but I have no memory of it. My throat was raw. My incisions really hurt. As I came the rest of the way out, my nurse came in. She was a doll. Wanted to make me as comfortable as possible. She got my computer and Sudoku book out for me. She brought me a cup of ice water. Small sips!! Finally, I realized that I needed to go to the bathroom. I called my nurse for some help. She was surprised that I hadn't gone already. I was surprised that if they wanted me to go they hadn't mentioned it. So, the put a urine catcher bowl on the toliet so they can measure your out put. Sitting down wasn't so bad as it was the upper abs that hurt, not the lower. With the IV going, There was a pretty full bowl. And not so surprisingly, I had a light period show as well. I was expecting that. I had an appendectomy when I was 15 and the same thing happened. They told me then that it isn't uncommon for that to happen when you have stomach surgery. I had the surgery as an in-patient. So, I was there for the rest of the night. I had to ask for the pain meds when I needed them. I wasn't shy about that! We found quickly that I needed the anti-nausea meds in place when I got my morphine. I was determined to stay awake that night to see who won American Idol, Kris or Adam. So I turned the TV on which was on a cool arm that swung to the bed. I was aware that the program was on and of the performances, but couldn't process more than that. I did hang on to see that Kris won. My kids texted me right away. I was out pretty much after that. That night was rough, because of the discomfort from the surgery and the need to get up to pee frequently. The night nurse came in when I needed her. I could get out of bed on my own. I was still taking small sips. She said I could suck on hard candy. My mouth was still so dry. I found later that there were lemon glycerin swabs in my "kit", but no one thought to offer me one. DH had left me a roll of his peppermints. They weren't great, but better than nothing. I broke them into small pieces and had a bit now and then. That morning, I got up and took a walk. Again, found it odd that no one had insisted that I do so. After that, I graduated from water to beef broth. It REALLY hit the spot. The day repeated itself. Meds, broth, Sleep. It was getting close to 5 and the doctor hadn't made it in yet. The nurses had warned me with out my asking that they did not know when the doc would be in. He came about 5:30. With that I got paperwork and wheelchaired out by 7. It seemed like a long day. My kids were thrilled I was home. DH left to get my prescriptions. He came back with pills. Lortab and Anti-nausea. I thought I was supposed to get elixirs, but what are you going to do at that point? Guh. Before bed, I used my pill crusher to crush the Lortab. I mixed it with a bit of yogurt. Bleah. The anti-nausea were small so I just downed that with water. Lortab wasn't as effective as the Morphine. It knocked me loopy and then out. It was not as good on the pain. I took it for 2 more days and then switched to liquid ibuprofen. Sue me. That night was rough. My neck and chest hurt, my throat still hurt and of course, my incisions hurt. It was hard to move in the bed at all. I wasn't expecting the neck pain. I assume it was gas, but no one had mentioned it going to the neck. Plus! I was in caffeine detox! That was really stupid of me not to give it up before. The headaches on day three were killer!! I was lucky to have Memorial Weekend to convalesce. DH and the kids waited on me. When taking the Lortab, I pretty much slept. I have Tivo in the bedroom and watched some shows in between naps. It is now Monday at 3:15 pm, I am feeling at about 75-80%. The incision where my port is still hurts when I move. I went to the grocery with DH and was TIRED when I got back. I feel over all pretty good. The neck, throat, and chest pain is gone. My port incision isn't hurting too much. And I am about at the end of the novel this first blog is! LOL My doctor has me on full liquids from day 2 to day 45. I have enjoyed pudding, yogurt, protein shakes, cream of tomato soup, jello, frozen, fruit juice bars, pureed cottage cheese, mashed potatoes and cream of wheat. Watching TV is awful. They had a hotdog segment on The View today that had me about ready to eat my pillow. I am one of the lucky -- who is hungry. I am looking forward to reading up on the other blogs and messages. :thumbup: I will try to not always have such diarrhea of the mouth, er, keyboard!!
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Got here a little late...1st 5 days
Teeparty commented on Teeparty's blog entry in Teeparty's Journal
I was banded on May 20, 2009 with the Realize-C Band. I researched through message boards when decided upon banding, but waited until after to join. I don't have to tell you how I got here, do I? Surely, you know. Low Calorie, Low fat, low carb, Weight Watchers...if it is out there, I have probably done it. The last thing I did was Medifast. I lost 70 pounds and found it all back and then some. (Drat) I was in Vegas with a friend in Febuary. With all the freakin' mirrors there, there was no way to deny what I had done...AGAIN. I got back home, had a good cry and decided it was time to do something permanent. I didn't want to go with the By-pass. I probably read too many on-line blogs where people had bad experiences. But, the band sounded like the right thing for me. I researched my area here in Bradenton, Florida. I decided on Sarasota Memorial's program. On with the program I went: 1. Seminar 2. Eat Healthy for Life Program 3. Psych evaluation 4. Nutritionist consultation 5. Meet with Primary care Doc for letter of necessity 6. Surgeon Consult 7. Barium Swallow (bleah), Chest x-ray 8. Blood work up 9. Pre-admission testing (EKG, more blood, pre-surgery discussion) 10. Dietician consultation Wednesday, my surgery was scheduled for 1 pm. That meant no food or drink after midnight. O-M-G!! Sooo hungry. Had to be a the hospital at 11. Talk about hurry up and wait. I had to get through 3 receptionists before going to the pre-pre-op waiting room. I had to give a urine sample for a pregnancy test! From there a nice man took me to the pre-op room. He gave me plastic bags for my clothes and the lovely hospital gown. So, I got changed and up on the bed. Waited for a few minutes and got my phone so I had something to do. My pre-op nurse came in and took my vitals and got the IV started. Got the heparin shot in the belly. (Lots of fun) Surgery was running an hour late. My anesthesiologist came in and had a follower. A very nice young man who went to the same school as my daughter. And yes, he did know her. Oh, and the anesthesiologist's son goes to the same school. Perrrrrfect. Then time went by for a while. My nurse came back and chatted for a while. This was nice as I was quite bored with the waiting. She left and I got the brilliant belated notion to turn on the TV. It took some manuvering to reach the remote with the IV in, but I prevailed! I found the end of "Sleeping with the Enemy." The anesthesiologist's techs came in and readied me for going to the OR. They were hilarious. They totally wanted to watch the end of the movie, too. We saw Julia shoot her abusive husband and then they gave me that pre-surgery shot. Things get blurry from there. I remember the bed going out of the room. I remember the brightness of the OR. I remember having the gas mask put over my face and nothing. Next thing is telling someone that I hurt and I was nauseous. I have no idea why or who. The person was saying calming things. My eyes flew open and I begged, "Please don't let me throw up!" Suddenly, I was in my hospital room. There may have been more that occurred with me interacting, but I have no memory of it. My throat was raw. My incisions really hurt. As I came the rest of the way out, my nurse came in. She was a doll. Wanted to make me as comfortable as possible. She got my computer and Sudoku book out for me. She brought me a cup of ice water. Small sips!! Finally, I realized that I needed to go to the bathroom. I called my nurse for some help. She was surprised that I hadn't gone already. I was surprised that if they wanted me to go they hadn't mentioned it. So, the put a urine catcher bowl on the toliet so they can measure your out put. Sitting down wasn't so bad as it was the upper abs that hurt, not the lower. With the IV going, There was a pretty full bowl. And not so surprisingly, I had a light period show as well. I was expecting that. I had an appendectomy when I was 15 and the same thing happened. They told me then that it isn't uncommon for that to happen when you have stomach surgery. I had the surgery as an in-patient. So, I was there for the rest of the night. I had to ask for the pain meds when I needed them. I wasn't shy about that! We found quickly that I needed the anti-nausea meds in place when I got my morphine. I was determined to stay awake that night to see who won American Idol, Kris or Adam. So I turned the TV on which was on a cool arm that swung to the bed. I was aware that the program was on and of the performances, but couldn't process more than that. I did hang on to see that Kris won. My kids texted me right away. I was out pretty much after that. That night was rough, because of the discomfort from the surgery and the need to get up to pee frequently. The night nurse came in when I needed her. I could get out of bed on my own. I was still taking small sips. She said I could suck on hard candy. My mouth was still so dry. I found later that there were lemon glycerin swabs in my "kit", but no one thought to offer me one. DH had left me a roll of his peppermints. They weren't great, but better than nothing. I broke them into small pieces and had a bit now and then. That morning, I got up and took a walk. Again, found it odd that no one had insisted that I do so. After that, I graduated from water to beef broth. It REALLY hit the spot. The day repeated itself. Meds, broth, Sleep. It was getting close to 5 and the doctor hadn't made it in yet. The nurses had warned me with out my asking that they did not know when the doc would be in. He came about 5:30. With that I got paperwork and wheelchaired out by 7. It seemed like a long day. My kids were thrilled I was home. DH left to get my prescriptions. He came back with pills. Lortab and Anti-nausea. I thought I was supposed to get elixirs, but what are you going to do at that point? Guh. Before bed, I used my pill crusher to crush the Lortab. I mixed it with a bit of yogurt. Bleah. The anti-nausea were small so I just downed that with water. Lortab wasn't as effective as the Morphine. It knocked me loopy and then out. It was not as good on the pain. I took it for 2 more days and then switched to liquid ibuprofen. Sue me. That night was rough. My neck and chest hurt, my throat still hurt and of course, my incisions hurt. It was hard to move in the bed at all. I wasn't expecting the neck pain. I assume it was gas, but no one had mentioned it going to the neck. Plus! I was in caffeine detox! That was really stupid of me not to give it up before. The headaches on day three were killer!! I was lucky to have Memorial Weekend to convalesce. DH and the kids waited on me. When taking the Lortab, I pretty much slept. I have Tivo in the bedroom and watched some shows in between naps. It is now Monday at 3:15 pm, I am feeling at about 75-80%. The incision where my port is still hurts when I move. I went to the grocery with DH and was TIRED when I got back. I feel over all pretty good. The neck, throat, and chest pain is gone. My port incision isn't hurting too much. And I am about at the end of the novel this first blog is! LOL My doctor has me on full liquids from day 2 to day 45. I have enjoyed pudding, yogurt, protein shakes, cream of tomato soup, jello, frozen, fruit juice bars, pureed cottage cheese, mashed potatoes and cream of wheat. Watching TV is awful. They had a hotdog segment on The View today that had me about ready to eat my pillow. I am one of the lucky -- who is hungry. I am looking forward to reading up on the other blogs and messages. :devil: I will try to not always have such diarrhea of the mouth, er, keyboard!! -
How My Feelings About Food Have Changed
joatsaint posted a blog entry in Gastric Sleeve Surgery - An Unexpected Journey
Just a few notes on some of the changes I've noticed in myself over the last 9 weeks post-op. 1. I eat when I'm hungry now, don't really look forward to the "full" feeling or have a "taste" for anything in particular anymore - lovin' it. I use to get these overwhelming cravings for a certain taste (especially Whataburgers), they're gone now. 2. I do enjoy what I eat and sometimes I still catch myself trying to eat just one more bite, but I know I'll be feeling sick if I do. It takes time to learn the new "full" signals. 3. I feel satisfied and I get a small thrill seeing how little I actually eat now. Although sometimes, I catch myself trying to finish that last bite - even though I'm full. I've learned to leave it on the plate. 4. Once my staple line swelling went down, I was able to increase my eating to about 4oz per meal, and did start feeling more "normal" after the 2nd week, but it wasn't until about week 6 that I was back at my old energy levels. 5. I can eat pretty much what I want and walk away without gorging myself. I have always been able to take or leave stuff like cakes and cookies. Rice, pasta and potatoes were (I almost wrote "are") my thing. But I can easily pass up most starches now. Although pasta triggers my hunger cravings and I have to stop myself from overeating and making myself sick. 6. My feelings or attitudes has changed incredibly about food. Don't really care about food anymore. I have no "flavors" I desire. So I eat my own concoction of shredded grilled chicken, re-fried beans, cheese and salsa almost every meal - for the past month. 7. There isn't anything that I "want" to eat anymore. I am so happy with my restriction and I don't miss anything, no food cravings, nothing I miss. And there is no food that I couldn't eat at the 3rd or 4th week. It may cause some stomach upset, but if I eat it slowly, I can eat it if I want. However, I do miss being able to chug 16oz of icy cold Crystal Light. 8. I can still eat spicy foods (curries, peppers, etc). I eat salsa almost daily and I found this sweet/spicy dip made with Greek yogurt that I like - very warm. I find it weird that the thing that bothers my stomach the most is healthy fibrous foods, like grape skins, bananas, apple peels, and pineapple. -
I don't mind Egg Beaters too much. I usually add some picante sauce (Texas girl here!) and/or a little sprinkle of low-fat cheese and/or some chopped onions & bell peppers. I do everything possible to avoid the Protein shakes - they are just too think now - ick!!!. I sometimes add 1/4 scoop unflavored Protein powder to yogurt or cottage cheese. I also drink a clear Protein Drink daily (I like the ones by Cytosport - whey Isolate Protein Drink - 130 calories, 32 gr protein and only 1 little carb). My goal is 60-80 gr Protein so this gets me 1/2 way there and gives me 17 oz fluids (actually 34 oz since I pour 1/2 of the drink into an empty bottle and fill both with ice & Water - sip these throughout the day). Of couse have an additional bottle of water & something else to get in the 60+ oz (man, somedays that's hard!).
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April 6 surgeries
bananabellyaches replied to Lucilla's topic in Tell Your Weight Loss Surgery Story
I was sleeved April 4th & today is the first day I could have soft food. This morning tried 2 bites of cottage cheese & one bite of yogurt. Stomach made a lot of noises - but feel ok. First 2 weeks was Clear Liquids, 3rd week was liquids that run easily thru a strainer. I made homemade black bean Soup & put it thru the blender. Hands down best thing I've tried besides Campbell's soup on the go (not allowed tomato soup). Also, tried a frozen Greek yogurt bar last night & had no problems. Planning on trying a few bites of egg for lunch. Premier Protein chocolate shakes are the only ones I'm interested in now. Liked the strawberry & vanilla first 2 weeks, but now I'm sick of them. All other Protein Shakes just turn me off now. Shakes I used to drink regularly before surgery now are hard to get down. I do drink a whey "Nectar" drink in tropical flavor with my powdered bariatric Vitamins in it & it's ok for 24g of protein. I add spoonful of Isopure non- flavored protein to my soup & coffee (mix it w/bit Water first). G2 & Powerade zero taste delicious to me right now. So I drink quite a few ice cold drinks & my Fluid intake is very good. MyraLax is a must for me every day too. Painful spot next to my belly button that burns with a sharp pain! Drives me nuts cause I'm wanting to physically do so many things. Doc's office said its where they put extra stitch to prevent hernias. Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App -
Yeah I got the idea from eggface. I made it with 2 scoops protein and brown cow greek yogurt and a little water and sugar free syrup. It still doesn't taste like Ben and Jerry's but it was a super nice change. The texture is really yummy, and it was my full days protein, which I am having a really hard time getting on mushies.
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hunger on post op liquid
MumtazG38 replied to stamour1's topic in POST-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
First day on pureed today...made some ground turkey chili....needless to say was not ravenous all day today. In fact, I had the chili twice today (6-8 tsp each time) and less than a 1/4 cup of lowfat yogurt sweetened with xylitol. That's all I had to eat all day. Not bad at all. I'm the happiest (and least starving) I've been in weeks lol. -
Surgery on a "smaller" patient
cindyw41 replied to Lindsey Corbet Love's topic in POST-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
Yes! Oh my, I hate not being able to eat more than a couple bites before I hit that wall. liquid items (yogurt, soups) I can eat about 6 oz, but chicken or another type of Protein I can barely eat a couple pieces. It forces me to drink shakes which i'm so tired of.