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Hello all!!! I am 2 years out from BPD-DS and in maintenance. I started out at over 400 lbs and in the 150's now. I am healthier, happier and just overall doing well.....except for the intimacy department. I've been married for 12 years. My husband is obese and he was not terribly supportive of my decision to have surgery. He now thinks I'm too skinny and will sometimes make comments about my loose skin or the fact that I'm not the girl he married (physically), my breasts are practicallynon-existant. Now onto the sex----I have a very healthy sexual appetite, especially now post surgery. I'm 36 and enjoy physical intimacy, touching, and feeling connected. The husband is hardly interested in having sex at all anymore and at first I tried to look past that, but it's becoming harder and harder. I don't think I'm unattractive...but the fact that he doesn't initiate or show intimacy is really wearing on our marriage. I have tried to initiate sex 3 times this week and have been ignored each time. I don't know what to do!!! I love my husband, but I cannot spend the rest of my life with that lack of intimacy. Sent from my SM-G955U using BariatricPal mobile app

I have never thought of combining egg with sweet potato, GT! Your wraps so festive and delicious looking. Are you a sweet potato gal, too? It is a staple in our pantry. Adore smelling them bake in the oven. Covet the caramelize and naturally sweet pieces next to the skin. Looks like I need to bake one for dinner tonight! Haha. Pretty plates, too.

That is what I am going to do too and I know I can do it . I am just not happy about it and I don't understand why some get restriction with revision and not others and no one told me from the Drs. office. They had me down at hospital to be taking in 8 oz of full liquids each meal. Really ? I could not understand why. I cannot wait to get to my appointment Thursday. I weighed 296lbs the day of my surgery ( sleeve) and in 2 months I only lost 27 lbs. I hung in there and made goal by following the plan the first year. my original goal of 180. I went on to loose down to 164.8 the lowest I ever got and stayed there all last summer was on my way back down and decided to hold steady thinking there was going to be some big weight loss and I didn't want to be too thin for my frame, SHEESH had I only of known, lol. Went in Friday weighing 180 and came out Sunday 185. This morning 181 lmao

@mousecat88 thank you for letting me know. I am in quite the same boat it’s just mostly empty skin now and although it’s a hard decision to make I can’t see going through with the rest without it. You can only deceive yourself so much. I also find trying to wear anything that resembles a normal bra painful and hope that augmentation will help to just feel normal. The hard part is and will be finding bras in my correct band size which is 28. The bra band is where most of the bra support comes from. And should be your underbust measurement exactly. Although I measure 26” which is nuts. Even at the heaviest my ribs measured fairly small. all the best to you on the next step of your journey

It’s been almost 13 months I guess since my surgery do I have patience for waiting for skin surgery not really. I think my weight is stable enough now. I think having the sagging wrinkled skin is uglier than any scar could be. And I too have had quite a few abdominal surgeries. Hysterectomy in 2010 and then Two pelvic laparoscopies that we’re sandwiched around my gastric bypass surgery. I’ve had other surgeries in the past. I lost count on the foot and tendon surgeries. I have a long incision at the back of each calf. And breast reduction which feels like a million years ago. It’s not the stretch marks as much the shar pei hanging wrinkled skin and the flab as you put it that doesn’t go away but hangs. I took the dreaded look in the mirror at my rear and I’m hoping that I can have a body I haven’t had as long as I can remember I’m fine with some scars ... I don’t need it for attention but for how I feel physically and mentally. But it’s hard to put to words. my one concern is making sure the incision site doesn’t get Stretched. Has anyone found silicone tape helps with keeping tugging on incisions? Actually my biggest concern is my allergies to adhesive, iodine, and surgical glue.

well, yea - at age 60, my bikini-wearing days are L-O-N-G gone, so I don't care too much about scars, either, as long as they're not in the middle of my face or something. I do love my results, though. I could have lived with something not quite as aesthetic as long as that saggy skin was gone, but I must admit he did a great job while he was at it. I don't think my body looks like a typical 60-year-old's at all....let alone the body of someone who's lost a truckload of weight. Not a sag to be found, and everything is in proportion. This is how I should have looked at age 30 or 40 (but unfortunately, did not...) and yes - there's no such thing as a completely stable weight. Normal, never-been-overweight people have weight that fluctuates - like a five-pound range or something. The surgeons just don't want people to have surgery and then put on 20 lbs, because it can affect the results (they say gaining or losing 10 lbs or so is fine, but much beyond that can screw up their work). That's one of the many reasons I had it - figured it might force me to stay at a decent weight since I went through so much hell and forked over so much money to look this way!!

I have my consult on June 19th for implants, a butt lift, and thigh lift. I am definitely getting implants. My boobs are completely deflated and I could roll them up like fruit rollups. It's just totally skin with zero fat in it.

They've faded but they are like a medium purple. I don't mind it... you can't really see them since it's inner arm. I have a puff of fat at my elbow, but he said I would because he doesn't go down that far because he said scarring there could restrict arm movement. It is kinda weird looking, and worse on my left arm. BUT, better than before so I try not to worry. I may mention it next consult. I definitely still have some loose skin... like if I hold my arm up totally straight some skin slinks downwards and wrinkles, but I've also lost 15lbs since I had my surgery. It may tighten up once I get back to the gym, though. I think the inner thigh incisions I will have will be much worse and much more noticeable.

you might not have to. I know some surgeons leave the drains in for a couple of weeks (although it may depend on the situation, too), but I went to Chicago for my surgery (I live in southern Wisconsin - about two hours from Chicago), and he took mine out at my first post-op, about four days later, before I headed back home. It was great because I didn't have to deal with them after I got home. Although it could be that they were just ready to come out, too - it depends on how much "output" you're having, I believe... also - belly buttons - they try to position them in a natural spot, in proportion to the "new" you, and they arrange the skin over them so that (supposedly) you can't tell you've had surgery (although as I said above - sometimes you can tell - so check for someone skilled in this as it's supposedly a challenge to create natural-looking ones) - so i'm not sure how this will turn out if you tell them not to re-position it. Just ask when you're there - obviously they're going to be WAY better at predicting the results than I am!!

I also have a bunch of lap scars. Fun thing will be that when the skin is pulled down and cut off, a lot of those scars will end up in the surgeon's trash can! LOL!! I just want the flab gone too!!

I have struggled the past few weeks, being cooped up. My body has always been "slower" to lose weight and I am very happy with my progress so far. I imagine I am someone who will not get 'close' to goal until 18 months out or more. A few weeks ago, I went back to basics. I tossed out all of my full fat condiments and cheeses. I started getting in more cardio (winter had not done me any favors) and I bought some new resistance bands so I have no more excuses. I am super close to one-derland so I have lots of motivation I started out wearing 24/26 clothes and I comfortably fit into 14/16s. I felt my collarbones for the first time since probably grade school a few months ago. I can see the outline of my muscles underneath the sagging excess skin. I can absolutely see my face gains! So glad to see so many success stories - August was a great month for us! Can't wait to hear how you all are doing a year later =D

I waited 2 years as well! ALSO, to the original poster, I highly recommend that you look for a surgeon that specializes in major weight loss surgery. It’s a different type of artistry than your typical mommy makeovers. Way more skin & sculpting involved.

Some also say that results are better when patients have been at a stable weight for a while. Ok, I guess being at a relatively stable weight for the required amount of time shouldn't be a hindrance any more. "Stable weight" for a surgeon means tolerating some fluctuations after all. Maybe I'm too indifferent when it comes to the aesthetic outcome. I want the flab gone, no complications and painless scars. Don't care if they're visible or whatever. My skin looks horrible anyway and my abdominal wall is a visceral surgeon's battlefield after five laparoscopies.

I think it completely depends on the person. I know that every thought I had was about getting as much off as possible prior to surgery. I don't think you need to contact the dietitian unless you were loosing nothing. Your moving in the right direction good luck to you !! Your on an incredible journey but it is all worth it!!

I've really enjoyed reading everyone's posts. After 10 years of the 'Band', I've decided that I must move on! Started with highest weight pre-band at 236, lost 70 pounds and things were great. Somewhere along the way, I was too tight (constant vomiting) or too loose (ate everything). Could never get back to the green zone. I gained all the weight back plus 4 pounds! So, tomorrow I am officially separating from the band and entering a new relationship with the sleeve. Please, supporters, wish me the best and hopefully my nervous jitters will calm down.

Hi all. I'm 29 and from the UK. I started gaining weight when I was 15 after I developed a severe anxiety disorder. The extra pounds reinforced the anxiety, I stopped going outside, ate more to comfort myself, gained more weight. And so it went - until last year when I got some proper therapy and started on meds. I can go out and do stuff now, even began a bachelor's degree. Now I'd like to address the weight and get my life back, and start doing all the things I want to do. Tried diets, they work for a while but I can never maintain them. Now considering surgery, the public system here can take a long time (2+ years) and frankly, I don't want to wait - I want to start living - so I'm thinking of private abroad. I'm sure this has been discussed a lot in this thread, and I know if I find the right person, it shouldn't matter to them. But I am scared about having loose skin. Less so about the stomach and chest area because I know there's surgery to fix that in time. But the butt. I really don't want a saggy skin butt. Is it common?

bmi 20-25 is 'normal' weight you look great and your loose skin is barely there!! I'm not jealous...nuh uh, ok maybe a tad lol

Most of us here i have seen loose 10-18 in the two weeks. But be careful that is not going to be that way the whole time but that seems to be the average. I am male and lost 23 in 10 days but most of it was water and shortly after surgery bounced up a few. Everyone is different so just do the best you can and stick to the plan and Journey

Was not Insurmountable at all - This is a Journey not a race so let K.I.S.S it - keep it simple style! You loose 2,5 pounds a week Which is 10 Pounds a month Which is 120 Pounds a year So around 15-20 Months your insurmountable Task is completed! Nope its all in the Math Trust me the time will fly by and the Journey down will be filled with Great Feelings of getting happy - As for cash me and you will get our money back in 20 months in reduced food costs, Not eating out and Drinking. Good investment. I looked at it this way, My 13k cash payment would not have fit in the URN with me if i kept going the way i was going Aj

Ebony and ivory twins! How cool is that. The black suede rendition is gorgeous, too - Especially with your porcelain flawless skin and deep burgundy wine polish. These sandels would look stunning with your black pleated skirt we all adore.

I have to admit this subject has been a big deal for me. Despite the financial challenges of it. I had my gastric bypass surgery April 29th 2019 and I reached goal earlier than I thought I would. To be honest I reached a goal I never thought I could. My excess skin is more problematic and unsightly probably due to my inability to exercise. Especially my thighs and butt. My core can use the strengthening it would help with along with the skin removal. Some areas I feel like a Shar Pei ... I get bloody rashes on my thighs especially trying to shave but it’s catch 22 I have to shave otherwise I get rashes from irritating hair ... due to pcos. Anyway. I’d hoped that insurance might offer some help. I asked my surgeon they were like yes Florida does pay for certain reasons. They said make an appointment with the plastic surgeon. But when we called they said they didn’t accept insurance. I figured if Cleveland Clinic didn’t no one else would. Honestly I watch that show my 600lb life and how people get free skin removal ... it’s not fair. sorry I rambled. Just when I didn’t know what to do, I found that BariatricPal actually has their own Hospital and researched them and they are awesome. It’s located in Mexico and is a short ride from San Diego airport. It’s called Hospital BC. I’ve been emailing them for some time now and they have been patiently helping me with deciding on choosing their Hospital and then planning this. I am scheduled for surgery June 15th. I’m trying to prepare myself for it! I leave June 14th from Palm beach airport. I return on June 21st and technically get home June 22nd. I will be having belt lipectomy with butterfly lift, tightening of the stomach muscles. And to be honest I will be asking them to not relocate my bellybutton. I will also be having thigh lift. And breast augmentation. I had to have CBC bloodwork at my doctors appointment prior. But otherwise they do everything there. It’s all inclusive. They provide transportation to and from the airport. I stay in hospital one night and in their special hotel the rest but with 24 hour nurse/doctor and concierge. Meals and other things are included that I can’t think of at the moment. They give Faja and even lymphatic massage if it’s needed. im hoping my numerous previous surgeries will have me prepared for how to manage the post op incision care. I’ve never traveled so far and will likely go home with drains in place. My primary care physician wasn’t too pleased with the idea ... but at this point she was smart and didn’t try and argue with me 🤣 Honestly you can be in the states and get really terrible surgeons ... and I found this place looks excellent. this is the website: https://hospitalbc.com

WLS is not failure or taking the easy way out, TRUST me! It's difficult no matter what you do, but WLS is a LIFE choice! I struggled with my weight my entire life. I was 130 pounds at 11, 230 at 14, 303 at 17, and at 31 I was up to my highest weight of 389 and that's when I made the decision to do something about it. At my first bariatric appointment I weighed in at 385 and that's why I count from that. I had tried SOOOOO many diets and nothing worked. Turns out I had an issue with my thyroid all along that every time they had tested it they'd missed it because the test weren't thorough enough, but the bariatric surgery clinic required a more thorough test. I had six months of weigh-ins required to be approved for surgery via my insurance and it took an extra two months to schedule me due to them being over scheduled so it was an 8 month process. I went on an elimination diet where each month I cut out something that I wouldn't be able to eat after (soda, rice, pasta, bread, potatoes, beans, etc) simply because I wanted to mentally prepare myself because I didn't trust my willpower and I shocked myself by loosing 64 pounds before my surgery on my own. It's been 4 months since I had my surgery and I've lost an additional 65 pounds and I'm really happy about it and don't regret my choice of having surgery because it's helped me get down to 256 pounds, a number I haven't seen since HIGH SCHOOL (I was 15 the last time I saw that number)! So yes, it's not an easy choice, but if you're making it for the right reasons and have the determination to work for it, you will definitely succeed! I only wish I'd done this ten years ago and most people will tell you the same.

Hey fellow Aussie. i agree with @catwoman7. We do tend to look scrawny & gaunt as we get to or near our goal weight. I found when I added some good multi grains to my diet my gauntness softened & I looked better especially in the face. I struggled to find my maintenance sweet spot too & unintentionally lost 9kg more than my goal over 2-3 months. I slowly added nutritious snacks, increased my meal sizes little by little & kept weighing myself everyday until I found I’d stabilised with about a 500g fluctuation. For example I used to eat about 50g of steak now I eat about 80g. I took 3 or 4 days to eat serve of rolled oats now only two. You will find your balance too. Don’t worry if it takes a little while. While some have said I’m too thin I am a healthy bmi & I certainly don’t have bones sticking out anywhere. (Personally I think the ‘your too thin’ voices struggle to see me as slim & not obese. Their perception of me hasn’t caught up yet.) But I’m happy to be at this weight. See how you feel in a few months time once you’ve stabilised. You may choose to stay the same or put in a couple of kgs. It’s all about how you feel in your skin. Your next step may be to add some muscle definition but again that’s your choice. I just want to know where your lose skin is? If this is a male thing, like being able to lose weight faster, I’ll be mighty pissed off. Life can be unfair. 😁

Your extra skin is pulling you down some which can attribute to you thinking you are getting "two small". Also when we loose the weight so fast it's not by means of straight up exercise so we all tend to look like that at first. Bulking up the muscle will help but over time you won't look like that anymore either. It took me some time to not look what I considered "sickly"

I had a lot of super thick long hair. It started falling out at an alarming rate in month four post op. Like handfuls when I washed it, and them more in the brush. I was sure I was going to be bald if that kept up. I went and bought all kinds of extra vitamins (a hair skin and nails formula with biotin in it) b12, collagen, & D. I started taking those after three weeks of increasing scary hair loss, and it's been a month now I have been taking them. I confess I stopped taking the bariatric vitamin in month three because it was so foul smelling every time I open the bottle I just wanted to hurl. As soon as my hair started falling out I started taking them again, religiously every day along with all the other vitamins I bought. My hair is no longer falling out by the handful, and seems to have tapered off, but my ponytail holder now wraps around three times instead of two. No bald or obviously thinning spots, but I had super thick hair before which is good because it was seriously falling out at an alarming rate. Not sure if the extra vitamins helped but I will keep taking them just in case and I will take the foul smelling bariatric vitamin every day no matter what because I don't want to be bald.