happygirl65

I have two schools of thought on this for myself. 1. It's no one else's business....do I tell everyone I know that I had my tubes tied after my third child....no....it's none of their business what I decide is best for me, even though that particular surgery was elective. They simply wont see me having another child. It's personal and it's no one's business but mine. 2. It's not for them to pass judgement if they do find out or even if I decide to tell. They are not me and don't know what I go through. The fact is I will struggle with my weight my whole life if I don't do this...and maybe even if I do...that is also personal. It is unfortunate how much people but in and think it's ok to be the food police or second guess anyone elses choices but we can't control what they do, feel or think. All we can do is be comforable with our own choices and know that we made the best choice for ourselves. I had planned to only tell a handful of people...my supervisor, my husband, and my sister in law because they are all my support team....then I find out my husband blabbed and now even people at his work that don't know me...know about it. I got to meet his boss and his wife last night for the firs time and couldn't help but wondering while I was meeting these very healthy athletic built people if they were judging me for being fat, if they even had an opinion about the surgery....but it never came up. I was just myself, and we got to know each other a little and it was fine. I had to tell myself...so what if they have an opinion...everybody does...but the fact that they didn't bring it up showed a level of respect that I am comfortable with. I hope that is how most will be. My dh says he told because he is proud and there is no reason to be ashamed.

I like the advice of the previous poster. Order one just a size smaller than you are now....then have it altered when you are closer. I don't know about you but it does take about 20 pounds for me to go down an entire size so if you expect to lose 40 lbs (ish) and your dress can be sized down two sizes then you may be right in there. I also agree if the dress is only fitted in the bust you can always stuff and have it a little big and it will still probably look great. Best of luck to you! And how about that...a bridesmaid dress that you will have to get rid of because it will be too big in a year...no reason to hang on to that something you will never wear...even though the brides always think they picked something you can use again...lol.

It is just the self doubt creeping in. That happens to most I think. I have not been banded but I do wonder about that too. Mostly though I am learning and reading and talking to people that really helps me understand that you can still have that steak...or burger but just less of it than you would have before....or maybe without the bun. You will learn what things you can eat and how much and you will adjust to that. Like anything else in life there will be a learning curve but once you get past that hump you will most likely be very glad that you did. Just remember this...It's ok to make a change for yourself that has nothing to do with what anyone else will ever think about it. It's not up to them. This is one thing in your life that truly is all about you...and needs to be. Best wishes to you!

welcome! and good luck!

It is usually clinical documentation (so dr.'s notes from your medical file) showing that you have been in a specific program. If it wants a structured program it wants you to show that you had regular weigh ins etc

You really just have to talk to him. I was having an issue with my husband a while back when he was fighting me on getting a gym membership, we had also been drifting apart and he was buying me candy bars and stuff like that in the guise of being sweet to me but was totally sabotaging me. When I finally got up the guts to tell him that I LOVE HIM for wanting to be kind to me but that it was actually kinder to talk to me and tell me he loves me and support my wanting to change the family diet and exercise routine, and really spilled that I was afraid he was thinking I was gonna succeed and then leave him...he confessed that he didn't really think so and hoped not but there was a part of him that was scared of all the change. It was pretty deep down but once we got it all out on the table we both felt tons better and he has been AWESOME at supporting me and not letting me talk myself out of the surgery or exercise or my new eating plan because he wants me to succeed. It can get SO much better if you can figure out how to improve communications...best of luck to you!

Melzie, That really sucks. I am sorry that you are not finding the support you need. It is hard when the people you love don't understand something important to you. Maybe you could take your husband to a consult with you so that he can get some real information and clear up some of his misconceptions about how hard it is to lose weight once you reach a certain size or have dieted your way into making it harder for your body to get rid of the excess. It doesn't sound like he is against it, but not really behind it either just making you feel like crap. Take it from me...in his mind he is being logical and he is talking to your emotions but there is a disconnect between the two. You have to find a way to communicate your concerns to him about how important this is to you. Tell him that no matter what you choose he has to be behind you 100% or it will never work (and could be part of why it hasn't worked thus far.) I wish you the best!

Hello all, I was wondering if this is normally an inpatient or outpatient procedure...I realize of course that you can start out as outpatient and have to stay for observation etc....but what was your experience???

Good point. I think for me getting SUPER hungry is when I make bad choices so not letting myself get that hungry will help. I do worry about the learning curve but I know that will work itself out eventually and I will learn what works and doesn't. I am going to try and not over analyze this too much. I tend to do that...get obsessive. I need to just be patient and let it all happen in it's own time. sigh...just excited to start my new life and keep going on my weight loss.

THanks! I have to keep reminding myself that it will take TIME for my other docs to send the records etc and that it may be a month or more before they are ready to submit everything...it's so hard to wait! Patience has never been one of my strong points.

The support is SO GREAT! I appreciate it. I DO NEED to do this and I do WANT to do this so I will keep moving forward. I think I would even self pay if the insurance says no...it's time to change my life....for good. I have made some really positive changes in the last few months which you can see have resulted in a loss of 18 pounds now (yeah for me). I believe the band will help me stick to my new way of eating without the monster cravings that I get at times. And I also believe it will help me stay off the dreaded processed food including flour and sugar which I have had a love/hate relationship with for a very long time. As long as I stay away/limit them I will do very good. Since some people have a problem with them post band I am just trying to convince myself never to TRY them after...it maybe a total mind fake but whatever works!:rolleyes2:

I have one too Tori's Tattle Tales Just started it a few days ago but it is very theraputic! I even told a few friends anf family about it so they can see the inner workings of my varying mind...I am SO DEEP and at times SO SHALLOW...I am an enigma but I suppose that's why the people who love me...love me the way they do. :rolleyes2:

Well, I don't know if NJ is the same as AZ but BCBS seems to have a LOT of information on their website...to be honest I found the simplest approach was to call the 800 number on teh back of my card...I exhausted myself searching every nook and cranny of the net to find a simple phone call was all I needed to know EXACTLY what was covered under my plan. :rolleyes2: They will also mail you a copy if you request it of the specific requirements. BUT my plan required : BMI of 40 or 35 with co-morbidities diagnosis of morbid obesity for 5 years Clinical documentation of diet attempts to lose weight in the last 2 years including self directed dieting, commercial programs, nutritional counseling or exercise programs Clinical documentation of for an active plan for active participation in pre-operative instruction program and post operative or follow up care plan in cluding preoperative nutritional counseling and must show ther is a plan in place for post-operative nutritional counseling as well pre-operative clinical assessment and documentation must reflect a significant motivation and understanding of the risks associated with intended surgery as well as understanding of the lifelong restricted eating habits that will follow Must be 18 yrs or older Individual has no treatable condition that may be responsible for the morbid obesity like endocrine or metobolic etc Individual has no significant liver, kidney or gastrointestinal disease Individual has no drug or alcohol abuse - must be abstinent for 12 months or more if there is a history of drug or alcohol abuse Individual has been evaluated by a licensed psychologist or psychiatrist documenting the absence of psychopathology the may limit the individuals ability to understand the procedure I would expect other states to pretty much be the same but you never know...also they have an access fee of $1000 which is out of pocket on top of your deductible,,,but your mileage may vary and you should call your company to find out...also SOME employers can specifically exclude bariatric surgery from their health plan so you will want to check on that as well. Good luck to you!!!

CHAPSTICK! I can't stress this enough! And lotion! I am not banded yet but have had several surgeries and my lips and skin always get SO DRY from the throat tube and lack of Water before and after surgery. GOOD LUCK! WE ARE ROOTING FOR YA!

Here is what my Dr.'s web site has to say about the psych eval: "When people come to us for weight loss surgery they ask about the pre operative psychological evaluation: why is that required? It is not a screening examination -- no psychologist or psychiatrist can tell the future, and see if you have what it takes to undergo the band. Nor is it like a cardiac clearance -- where we ask a cardiologist, on some patients with heart issues, to help us improve their heart's performance for the operation. We use the pre-operative psychological examination to make you aware of the tools out there to succeed. One of them is the psychological support. Our greatest support is in our groups that meet twice a month. Did you know that in the last year with the 20 support groups we had that Dr. Simpson was in 16 of them, and our nutritionist was in 18 of them? Some people find that things in their lives change, and their relationship with food changes, and they want to talk with a professional about it. The pre operative examination allows you to be introduced to someone, and know that these resources are available. One of our psychologists is a patient herself! " I found that to be most comforting. Mind you...all doctor's offices might not be the same...and a lot of insurance companies require very specific tests but I don't think they are allowed to disqualify you. It sounds to me like their purpose is to bring out your issues with food. Obviously some of them take the approach of making you feel like crap about it and doubt yourself...I am not a psycologist but maybe it's to test your resolve. It seems horrible to exploit our weakness in this way...maybe they are wanting to "sell" their therapy services. It sucks...but I don't think you should let it make you change your mind...only take careful consideration to finding a GOOD therapist you can trust if you find you still have issues with food....that's my two cents worth.

Thanks for all the candid replies. I guess one of the things I need to work on is the idea of absolutes...all or nothing...it's that kind of thinking that lets me go off the deep end instead of having one little treat in moderation.:eek: In the end I will still be me...still be human...still make mistakes, but if the band can help me (as it seems to have helped you all) not have the cravings and take some of the focus of my life OFF of food that would be absolute bliss. It is hard when you have to be so diligent about every single calorie that it takes control of your entire life. That is where I am at now...so I guess the question I have to ask myself is do I want to live this way forever...weight loss or not, just obsessing about everything I eat all the time, watching the clock, starving myself if it's not "time to eat" again yet and just being basically miserable about it? NO, I don't, and whats more I don't want to pass that affliction on to my kids who WILL learn from me no matter what I do. They will learn far more by my example than by my words. I deserve better...and so does my family! I LOVE the support here on LBT. Thanks for listening and caring...time I start caring as much about myself as I do about everyone else! :rolleyes2:

Wow...you are so right! I wouldn't question it if it wasn't something that I am pursuing on my own. :thumbup: It is funny that I was so sure about my decision until it started to become more real and I have financing all lined out and just waiting on the docs to get all the info to my surgeons office. I just have to keep my eye on the prize and not let the self doubt creep in and sabotage me like it has so many times before.

Good point... I think the fear of a foreign object in my body is what is holding me back...the what if's but I do have to remind myself that there is no certainties in anything. All we can do is the best we can with what we've got right?

Hi all! I have been obese for 16 yrs and morbidly obese for 10 of those. I have like many other tried everything under the sun to lose and always gained it back. So I fianlly decided Lap Band was the way to go for me, met with a surgeon who I like and have started the paperwork for my insurance. So here is my dilema...In the last 3-4 months I have lost 17 pounds. I have done it by cutting out processed flour and sugar, no HFCS especially and working out. I walk...or rather did until a couple of weeks ago when something got in the way of my schedule and I just stopped going to the gym. So for a month I was on a plateau still eating well, and kept bouncing up and down about 2 pounds over and over again and could never bust down past the 254 mark and was at 256 more often then not. Got discouraged and rationalized some junk food...:wink5: Started eating potato chips (thinking there's no white flour or sugar in them) and a bit of ice cream which I quickly stopped doing because I realized it was too dangerous. Got back on track with what I was eating but stopped logging the foods. THEN I decided on surgery and suddenly started making even better choices and tracking my calories again and I am down to 253. :thumbup: Part of me (the scared part) says I don't need surgery that I can do it on my own. The other part says...yeah, you can do it on your own but in a few weeks or months when you decide that you can't stand it anymore and want to "take a break" and pig out on junk food and fast food what is to stop you from gaining it all back? I am fighting cravings from time to time but I can handle it until that time of the month when I just can't eat enough chocolate. I am realistic and know that it is just something I have allowed myself to do, not that I need it but I do crave more when the hormones hit. So I am confused...should I just look at this as already practicing the new foods etc that I will be eating post band? Should I just see it as a jump start to my new life? Perhaps I wont even have to do liquids to lose for surgery if I am already losing on my own....and the band will just help me keep at it and not give up and return to the same old habits. I want to know what you guys/gals think! Thanks!

I am pre-op but my doc office says let them go flat and only drink them that way, after that you may be able to give them up (I am trying it now to get ready and would rather drink tea!)

The out of pocket will depend on your insurance but there is a 1200 program fee and only 500 is refundable if you back out. But you don't have to pay that fee until the Bariatric coordinator gets all the paperwork together and makes sure you meet the other criteria for your insurance. You can't get approval from insurance though without the psych test and nutrition counseling though so you are taking a small gamble but she explained to me that they are really good at getting everything together and knowing whether your insurance is going to approve before they move forward with that step. She said you usually pay it when you come in for the psych and nutrition consults. So be prepared for that. It does seem steep but it pays for the psych tests, nutrition counseling, after care, support groups etc. I personally am working the 1200 into the financing for my other out of pocket costs for my deductibles and cost sharing etc that my insurance wont pay. So they will work with you on that. Everyone in the office was very nice and pleasant. I think you will like it. Dr. Simpson is quite confident which is very comforting. DO bring in a list of questions because I got so overwhelmed with the entire process and all the other info they were giving me that I couldn't think of my questions when it came time to ask them. Good Luck!

Well I had my consult today, now I just have to wait for my doctors to send records to the surgeon's office so we can get the rest of these requirements going and out of the way. Looks like it wont take too long. crossing my fingers anyway:thumbup:

High cholesterol, depression and hypothyroid all can be co-morbidities as well as high blood pressure, stress incontenence and some other things...each insurance co has their own requirements...just call your insurance company and ask or find the book that spells out your coverage and you will find it...I was amazed at my consult though at how much the Dr.s staff knows about getting things approved...they are pretty good at it. I bet all will be well if you consult with a surgeon.

You definitely have to find a way to deal with the stress...but you should realize that just RECOGNIZING that you have that trigger is the first step toward changing it. RIGHT ON! WAY TO GO! Now, the next time he pisses you off (and it will happen cuz face it...married people make each other mad at time...that's life) you will go for the kitchen as an impulse and then you will stop and say....wait...there are other ways to deal with this... I dream of throwing a roll of TP at his head and saying..."clean up your crappy attitude" I never do it...but thinking about it makes me laugh anyway.

Try reading some blogs, that really helped me...these are people who have been where I am, have gotten banded and then had major success. Like anything else in life, it's not success only and there are people who find ways to make it not work, and there are some people who just don't like it but the vast majority it seems do lose weight and use it as the wonderful tool it is. I am scared too but am getting excited about getting it done because I honestly believe it to be the first time that I am truly going to succeed because the drastic physical change will force me to make permanent changes. I am on a journey already to finally put myself first in my life and that is what I am doing. Part of me feels terribly selfish to pay all this money but it's about time that I took care of myself for a change...I figure the family will have to adjust but in a short time I will be able to take better care of them and for longer because I will be healthy and I will be able to teach my kids how to grow up KNOWING how to be healthy so they don't have to wade through the train wreck of contradictory information out there. I think we will look back and say..."I should have done it sooner, it's the best thing I have ever done for myself."