ape087

Hi Everyone! Im currently living in San Diego CA (husbands in the navy) but will be moving to Columbia in January while he finishes his final deployment. Im getting banded here in SD on November 11th, and will get my first fill here. However, Im looking for a good referral to a fill dr in Columbia. My surgeon is looking for one, but I know personal recommendations sometimes mean more than professional ones. Also, are there any support groups out there that you guys know of too?

SO today was a pretty good day food wise. I bypassed the shake for breakfast and had eggs instead, which was a good choice. Then for lunch I had 3 peices of crab, 2 pieces of lunch meat, and some cheetos. The only thing that stunk was my afternoon. I did hit the candy drawer and had another 1.5oz of chips late afternoon because I was hungry.I havent decided if I was actually hungry or not, but it wasnt bad calories wise. However, when I got home from work it was a different story. My stepson decided that at daycare he would try to cut a piece of his own hair off and blame another kid. Not cool. My husband decided he wanted to wait until I got home to "have a family discussion" about what to do about him. This also means that he was waiting for me to come home and do something. Needless to say Ive been the evil stepmom today and I dished out the punishment. Life will be ruined for our son without the TV and his bike. Hopefully he will learn.

So today I went back to my bariatric doctor for the first time in almost a year. Let me tell you, I was not looking forward to that and was a bit nervous. The last time I had went there I had a pretty bad experience with the nurse practioner, and decided not to go back. Since no one else would take me, and I am obviously filled too tight, I went back. It was a pretty good experience today. The nurse practioner who I hadnt liked is no longer there, which was a relief. Natalie, my new NP, asked why I was here, and was very considerate of my situation. I am 1lb heavier than I was when I got the surgery (which is 4.5lbs less than I was 2 weeks ago! ) but Im taking that in stride. Im trying my best to measure my food, and chart my food. I bought an electronic scale today from bath and body works, and let me tell ya, I think it's gonna help! A coworker (and fellow bandster) challenged me to measure my food and stay between 6-8 ounces per meal, and I said GAME ON! We'll see if it helps (I think it will). I told myself if I lost 5 lbs in 2 weeks I will get my hair colored, and I really want that done. I dunno if 2.5lbs a week is too much, but we shall see. Wish me luck fellow bandsters, Im trying to do this right now.

I got the unfill because I was too tight. I had gained about 15lbs (thank you crap food) and it just became too tight. I feel much better today!

I just had a unfill today too. I was bummed about it before, but Im looking at the brightside.I had 6 cc's before, but now have 4. Im just going to measure my food, and stop snacking so I can drop some weight and get it put back in

I had a c section 2.5 years ago and the band 1.5 years ago. In my experience, I would say my C section was the lesser one, but just simply because of the situation. WHen I came home from my C section, I got to rest because my husband was home to help with the baby, then my mother. With my band, I had a 1 year old to look after and my husband was on deployment. I had a friends help, but that wasnt constant. Once I was able to get my first totally uninterrupted day of rest post band, I was great. It wasn't to bad either way. I think that if you managed okay from your C section, you should be okay from post op band.

So today has been a day. My darling 2 y/o has been in an *amazing* mood That in inself has made me wanna resort to old ways. However, I've tried to make my food choices a bit better. It has been a great thing though, because in what I've ate, Ive reached a point where Ive said "hey, lets stop" and I did! I had pancakes this morning and had just one when my belly said "hey, lets stop". Then for dinner I had whats called "hamburger pie". I didnt even finish my serving before the belly spoke agian. It was great! No over eating, no getting stuck, no trying to throw up for 45 minutes. I dont wanna say "hey this was easy" but it wasnt. Ive overlooked this feeling before, so my first instince was to ignore it again. That would have been easy. Food has been my comfort, why would I want to give that away? But Ive been trying to turn over a new leaf, so I listened to myself, and let me tell you, it feels good. I went to the store to try to "stock up" on my "food arsnel". I picked up on frozen fruit for my new protein shakes. Ive never really added things to them before, so I hope that it comes out okay. Im subbing almond milk for regular milk, in hopes of making a few better choices. Im gonna try at least 1, maybe 2, shakes and a good meal for a few days. Maybe that will help things. Can you tell Im still aprehensive about going to the Dr on Wednesday?

I think it's amazing that your team supports you in such a great way.

So if I could write a letter to myself, and have it make a difference, what would it say? Ive got this "tool" inside me, yet I know that Im not using it right. When I went into surgery I weight 269lbs. What do I weigh now, a year and a half later? 271.5. I feel like an utter failure most days. How and why do I come up with so many excuses as to why this doesnt work? I dont have time to exercise, Im too poor to buy healthy food, the weight stays on because Im stressed, blah blah blah. I always say that Im going to do better tomorrow, but tomorrow never seems to come. I'd like to know what the heck Im thinking! I go in for an adjustment on Wednesday. Adjustments are usually fills, but in my case it's not. Im trying to come to terms with the fact that I'm just too tight, but it scares me. I guess having them take the fluid out makes me feel like I have to admit that I'm a failure. I mean, you fill so you can hit that sweet spot, but I never hit it and my band is pretty close to being full. Are they going to judge me because I havent been in to see them in about a year, and I havent lost any weight? These are the types of things that bother me. Part of me wants to go in there, tell them to take it all out, and we will slowly add it back in until I get "the spot". However, another part of me feels pissed that Ive had this thing in for over a year, and it's been nothing. Ive lost more weight BEFORE the surgery than I have after placement. I read the statistics. They say most patients lose 100lbs in the first year on average. Way to go me for breaking the norm. I guess I just need to get the whiney out of my system, and start over. No more excuses. More accountability. More me time. Yeah, that sounds good. Lets see if it happens.