Miss_A

The fat girl inside me is SCREAMING to be fed junk food. I've all sorts of thoughts running through my head. I've thought that today was going to be a day to indulge in some sweet and chocolaty goodies. I was first going to go to a local bakery and get a couple things. Then I shifted to baking a recipe I found on Pintrest. I even pulled up that recipe and gawked at the pictures. Oh, that website is the devil!!!
 
This mental stuff is the worst. In my 34 years of living, it's the hardest thing I've ever dealt with. And I've dealt with some pretty hard ish. As have we all, right?
 
I'm sure I'll make it through the day w/o caving.
 
I just ate a banana with peanut butter. More than 2 tbsp, but eating it is a 1000% better than what I REALLY wanted to eat, so I'm not going to stress myself.
 
I really do look forward to the day when food doesn't consume most of the space in my mind.

I was banded 14 1/2 months ago. Needless to say, I'm still fat. I have no one to blame but myself. I just ate whatever I wanted thinking I would still lose weight. Uh, no. That did not happen. And I wound up gaining more weight. So after a binge on chips and dip 3 weeks ago Wednesday, I finally realized that I cannot continue to live and eat the way I had been. So the very next day, I recommitted myself to making a change in my life. God willing, it will be a lifelong one.
 
I have no clue how much I weighed 3 weeks ago, but I know what I weigh now. And based on the scale, I weighed less than I thought I did when I recommitted, so that's a plus. And as of 2 days ago, I'm back in the 220's. Two twenty-eight to be specific. Yay!!
 
Now onto the NSV.
 
I have a body frame where I'm large from the waist up (very broad back), and smaller from the waist down. My tops are a size or two larger than my pants. Four years ago I lost weight the "right" way. I watched what I ate and exercised 5 days per week. That lasted all of a couple-three months, but in that time, I got down to a size 16. Not a 16W, but a regular ol' 16. So I had a pair of size 16 capris in my closet. Well, I pulled them out of the closet for the first time a couple weeks ago. I was able to wear them, but not zipped or buttoned. I held them up with a rubber band. I do that with all the jeans/pants I can't zip up. I wore those capris again today, using the rubber band to hold them up. As the hours passed, I noticed how loose they were, so I decided to try and zip and button them.
 
And I was able to w/o any effort!!! Yay!!
 
Now, sitting down in them wouldn't be pretty due to my HUGE muffin top. (A lot of my weight is in my stomach) So I need to still lose a good amount of weight in my stomach, but I was still thrilled that I was able to zip up and button a regular size 16 pant!!!
 
That's my first NSV and I hope it's followed by many more.

Two months later I'm still going strong. My ticker is one third of the way to goal so I can't believe I'm only two months back on track. My children broke my scale this week and I can't even begin to explain how over-joyed I was to walk into the store and buy a 'normal digital scale'. Two month's ago I probably woulld have had to fork out more money to get the ones that can weigh more than 330 lbs. Just to encourage anyone who is struggling after having the band for a number of years... after 4 years mine was still there... just get the right adjustment and your head in the game and you will be able to do this.
 
My stats for March 2012
 
2nd March - 319
9th March - 315
16th March - 310
23rd march - 308
30th March- 306
3rd April - 301
 
Total - 18 lbs 2nd month!
34 lbs in 2 months
51 lbs since being banded
 
My goal for 3rd May is 286 or 15lbs lost.
 
 
I continue on my weigh dowm.....

Thinking back on this year I remember most wondering how far I'd be when the first year was up. Never did I imagine that I would have exceeded my goal and be at the bottom end of all of the weight I had to lose.
 
Today it's been 11 months, and I weigh around 130 pounds. A little less some days, a little more others. I haven't counted the inches lately, but it's a lot. I bought a new pair of capri jeans last week and they were a size 1/2. ONE/TWO!! What??? Those jeans are Maurices brand, and I'm pretty sure the sizes run big. They have to. Just a month ago I was wearing a size 28 waist. I was thinking that was around a size 7/8 I know I'm a little smaller than that now, but a size 1/2 seems ridiculously small. I tried on a size 26 waist and they were snug.. so I don't know. I'm thinking my true size might more accurately be about a 4 right now. My boyfriend looked at those pants and asked me if they were for a kid! Haha, very funny mister boyfriend! I continue to drop inches in a mad fashion, and I believe it's because I've been working out. A lot. I do the express circuit three times a week, walk/run on the treadmill at least twice a week and play racquet ball. I'm no good at racquet ball as far as the "rules" go. But it's such an amazing workout getting in there and pounding that ball around. And it's fun!! The guys from the free-weight room watch and laugh sometimes.. I'm sure I look like a complete dork in there (along with my daughter - in- law) running around, sometimes missing the ball, sometimes slamming it, and I always have my i-pod on with good move tunes playing, so I'm in my own little world so to speak... marching to the beat of my own life. Laugh mister weight lifters.. see if I care!!
 
I haven't had a fill in over 2 months. I don't need one at all. I have tons of restriction still, and I'm really happy with where I am. I don't eat much at all, and it amazes me that I don't need to. That's huge for me. My life once revolved around when my next meal was.. what I was going to eat, how much I was eating, etc. etc. Now I forget to eat sometimes. Weird. I remember thinking that people who "forgot to eat" must be insane. Who forgets to eat? But trust me, it does get to that point. The other thing I tend to forget (believe it or not) is that I don't wear a size 2XL or XL even anymore. I bought a couple of those little spaghetti strap tank top thingies at Walmart a few days ago (you know the ones that are like $4) and automatically bought a size XL. Oops! Not so much. I need a medium now. Some old habits die hard I guess.
 
I have bony parts of my body. Weird. I still freeze easily.. no fat to insulate. I'm looking forward to warmer weather and have really been enjoying the unseasonably warm spring like days we've been having lately.
 
I'm up and moving so much more than I ever did before now. I feel like it, for starters. But I think it's mostly because I can! Not that I couldn't before, well... okay I couldn't do a lot. But now I have energy, and ability, and suddenly a desire to not let too much grass grow under my feet. Don't get me wrong, I can still laze around with the best of them for awhile, and still enjoy snuggling up and watching a movie sometimes, but when it's time to move, it's time to move! I ran (literally) to my car last week for something and my oldest son said "Now you're just showing off" I said "What? Why?" He said "I've never seen you run for ANYTHING.... EVER" Hahaha! Silly boy! I didn't even realize I did it!
 
My boobs have shrunk! Seriously. It's like someone stuck a needle in them and let all the air out! Booooo! Remember when I couldn't wait for them to shrink? I thought that somehow they would just shrink a little, just be a smaller version of what they were.. but no. We're talking tube-sock with an orange in it pretty much. Ahh well. The photo you see here doesn't really show the whole tube sock concept...but bras these days are basically smoke and mirrors my friends! Unfortunately what you see isn't really what you get. Yeah, yeah, a little false advertising.
 
11 months ago I figured it would be 2 years before I wrote a blog like this one. At least 2 years. I have had a very short journey filled with amazing losses and amazing gains. I found my other butt in far less time than I dreamed possible (even though it really, really needs some firm and tone work, but looks awesome in jeans). I found my energy. I found my mojo. I found my life. I'm so grateful for the things this year has given and taken away. I will be back in another month with my one year pictures, and anything new to share. Thanks for your support and words of encouragement along the way!
 
 
Follow me at http://www.myotherbutt.blogspot.com