mboulis

Thanks! His current live in is a SSBBW and he tells people they don't have sex, that she repulses him, etc. He has severe issues.

Exactly that way. My husband has dated heavy women, average sized women, skinny women...the size/weight has never been an issue with him. He looks within. My ex purposefully seeks out heavy women. When I was with him, I went into counseling...he was very emotionally abusive. Anyway, it came out--and he did NOT deny it--that being with a fat woman made HIM feel better about himself. He felt if his wife/girlfriend were morbidly obese, then he would look great in comparison (he was 5'7 and about 130 at the time). He also felt people would pity him for having to have sex with me and that he'd get "mercy sex" from women who'd wonder how he could be sexual with somebody as fat as me (he told them we hadn't had sex in years--which wasn't true). Everytime we would argue, it would always be "your *fat* ass", "butt your *fat* nose out of it", "get your *fat* face out of my sight"...always threw "fat" into it. Yet liked to say he was not biased against overweight people. :angry I still have trouble believing my husband accepts me as I am sometimes. Ten years of that other BS played a lot on my self confidence.

In Toledo but it's about 65 miles from here. They have advertised the meetings there but those are all I know of.

Anybody know of a support group close to Sandusky? There was a general WLS support group at Firelands Regional Medical Center. I went to the meeting. I had been in constant contact with the leader of the group for days---I get there and nobody is there. I waited for a half an hour. The security guard contacted the operator who verified the support group meeting time. Still, nothing. They tried calling the group leader at home and got no answer. I finally went home and sent an email telling her I was there but nobody showed up---she never replied to me again (although my email program showed she had read the email). So, I guess that support group is out of the question. I don't even know if it still exists.:phanvan

I have wondered how the two of you (Lisa and Jackie) were doing. Sounds like things are coming along!! You'll do great!

My husband was totally supportive of the band---but not the RNY or DS. He's had no issues of jealousy whatsoever. Now, my ex-husband, when I lost weight (diet and exercise) would call me names, accuse me of cheating, etc. Told me I was losing weight only so I could get somebody better than him. It wasn't long before I regained everything I lost and more.

I am reading these replies and am so appalled by the way you all are getting treated! The band is not the easy way out at all---if it were, I'd be sitting here in a size 8 instead of a size 20! What the heck are wrong with these people?????:angry I have a friend who had the duodenal switch. She went from 325 down to 185 in about a year. She didn't have to fight weightloss with her surgery like we do. She has stayed there for the past 4 years. She can eat anything she wants---but might throw up if it sits wrong with her. And she gets diarrhea alot. She also now has to have transfusions and IV iron treatments because it messed up her system so much. I don't get it when people say "the easy way out". Why doesn't People magazine talk about how their covergirls and guys use the "easy way" out--- Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, LA Weightloss, etc...or any of those meal plans that come prepackaged...isn't that the "easy way" out, too? grrrrr.....

Thank you Missy...and to you, too!

I accept complete and total responsibility for regaining. I lost 101 pounds within the first year---95 of it before I even had a fill so , as most people say, the weightloss before the fill was icing on the cake. Got my first fill 14 months out. Lost six more pounds. Weightloss stopped. Eating only 1,000 calories a day, exercising *and* working as a nurse (constantly on my feet and on the go), I still am not sure *why* it came to a halt but it did. My weight stayed at the 101 loss for about three months. I started battling depression (and I still am) and was dealing with some things in my life that I never thought would happen. I did not know *how* to deal with them so I dealt with them the same way I had in the past---food. The band is a tool and I learned it can be very easy to eat around. I *thought* I had conquered my food demons. I have not, obviously. My doctor thought if anybody would be successful with the band, it'd be me. I was for a while. I was one of his success stories. I am proof positive, though, that anybody can slip back. As for the original question about jealousy---the only jealousy I noticed was my stepdaughter. She had gained quite a bit of weight and when I started losing, she would make smart aleck remarks...during the liquid phase when I was using Protein Drinks, she made remarks about the waste of money on them, how *she* knew how to "really" lose weight and would "if I wanted too" and that she would "never allow myself to get so fat as to make somebody pay for me to have surgery". :angry To this day, she is convinced I had a gastric bypass. I have no clue who told her that but that is what she thinks. I never discussed my surgery with her or her brothers. They are a very judgemental bunch and it wasn't really anything up for discussion with them. They have their own assumptions.

I can guarantee that if you lose weight and gain any back, I will not be telling you that you never deserved the band in the first place. From what I have read on these boards, I don't think anybody would say that to you. And it is not about "some people need to grow up"---it's about being sensitive to others.

I think that is pretty insulting and insensitive to say to somebody who is banded and gains some back. Who made you judge and jury as to who "deserves" to have a band? I guess I don't deserve my band since I have.

Hi Lisa, I was quoted that $150 too but the first one is a killer. Dr C charges $300 for the first with fluro....the ones with D&O have ranged from $650-$1200 because St Lukes charges by the amount of time you use the room, also. They told me that and I argued about it. lol Bloated....it was about a week or so, I think. I had shoulder pains for close to two weeks. I don't remember for sure how long it took before I could drink alot---actually, I don't really remember having problems drinking. Maybe they put it on you tightened? I know that I couldn't eat more than a 1/4 cup of food at one sitting for about 2-3 weeks. 1/4 cup of pudding and I was so stuffed. You have a good Memorial Day weekend too! We are going to Cleveland to see the Princess Diana exhibit. :clap2:

Glad to hear things went well during surgery, Lisa. About the gas pain...I took Gas-X also and it did seem to help me. The doctor told me to, JoLynn told me it wouldn't make a difference. lol It did, though. :-)

You aren't the only one. It irritates me too. Having the band definitely is not a trick or a gimmick. It is hard work and for anyone to say otherwise is nutty!

:banana: Here's my blog---needs an update really bad. :embarassed: http://bandintheusa.blogspot.com/