marjon9

Hi Lee, I have to be honest, I would never date a single father.

Single mothers, though, are quite fine with me. I up and married me one.

Being single is a strange thing. It's like walking through the desert, parched and searching for Water, but yet being surrounded by cool spring ponds and streams that you just can't see. There is absolutely no question that there are 10,000 women within driving distance of where you are right now who would love to get to know a good man. But when you are single you can't find them. The ways to meet people are not very appealing - bars, internet, matchmakers, blind dates. Yuk. Who needs any of that. The ones who are most interested in a real relationship are the least interested in things like bars and internet dating. It's just an impossible situation, especially as we get older and have all our baggage and suspicions and history and insecurities.

OK, so now I am about to announce the solution to this problem. Are you ready?? . . . .

I wish. The fact is, I have not got a clue. It's really tough being single. In my particular case I held my nose and dove into internet dating. It sucked, but I did end up meeting my wife. Life has been much better since. I'm so glad I found her.

If I can offer any advice at all, let me just say that I would put aside any thoughts that no woman would want to date a single father in general or you in particular. That is absolutedly not true. And if you feel like there is a shortage of women around, that is also absolutely not true. I know it seems like there is a shortage, but that is not true. None of those things is the problem. The problem is, how do you go about finding and meeting some of the thousands of women around you who you can't see and don't know how to find, but who would love to go out with you. I sure wish I had an answer for you.

I haven't had a fill yet and I am having trouble with the PB. I'm sure it is because I am not eating slowly enough or putting too much in my mouth. I am hungry alot now so I think I am ready for a fill but scared to get it. I am 5 1/2 weeks out from banding.

Hi peachylady, I want to mention a couple things about your post. I don't mean to tell you things you already know but in case it would be helpful I'll pass along these comments.

The reason people get fills is so that they can increase the "restriction" the band causes around their stomach. Without restriction, the food slips right past the band and you can eat pretty much whatever you want. If you have restriction, it means that the part of your stomach where the food goes is smaller, so you get full faster. Some people have significant restriction from the surgery alone. Sometimes this lasts for a short time and sometimes it lasts forever. A few lucky people find that they actually never need a fill because they permanently have sufficient restriction from the surgery alone.

In your case, if you are "having trouble with the PB," then it sounds to me like you still have pretty significant restriction. If that is true, then you don't need a fill. It can actually be dangerous and uncomfortable to get overfilled. People can get to where they have so much restriction they can't even drink Water.

You mention that you think you need a fill because you are hungry a lot now. But keep in mind that getting a fill does not have any effect on whether or not you get hungry. The only thing a fill does is it makes your stomach smaller so you get full on less food, and to stay full for a while, but it does not stop you from getting hungry.

I agree you should slow down and take smaller bites. That will probably help with the PB problem. But if I were you, I would not rush into getting a fill right now.

That's my .02

i KNOW it has been mentioned here before but

I Hate When People Capitalize The First Letter Of Every Word!!

GAHHHHHHHH drives me freaking nuts.

I agree, I hate that. It's like reading with visual speed bumps. It is so much work to read because your brain is forced to wonder whether each. and. every. word. is. the. beginning. of. a. new. sentence.

Naw, you can't fool the Green. Limbo is where good folk who haven't met Jesus go when they croak. I learned all about this when I was in nun skule. Everyone who was good and who was born pre-Jesus will be found there. As will a number of those heathen who were outside the reach of the missionaries.

Those who got the lap band pre-Jesus go to Slimbo. Or, if they "ate around the band" they go to Bandster Hell.

There may be people in Slimbo who used the band as it was supposed to be used and lost just a pound or two a week since pre-Jesus. Can you imagine how thin they'd be by now?

Remember, the band is just a tool.

So Mark, if you have no teeth, how do you strain the moss as it passes through?

I give it a little pinch between my cheek and gum.

Pete Moss? Doesn't he have something to do with sports? Green never watches sports.

I think you mean Pete Bogg.

Are you the most popular boy in your dance class?

And I thought it was my personality.

I have been having the same problem and my doctor has mentioned the dreaded word "leak." If I have to keep going back for more fills I'll be willing to do that. But if there is a leak that involves more surgery I'll be less than pleased.

Peat as in peat moss? Doesn't it get stuck in your teeth?

No teeth here.

In my opinion you have described the difference between pbing and vomiting. With pbing, the stuff that comes up is basically what you were just chewing, without any digestion applied to it. Pbing does not really bother me that much except that I hear it is bad for the band. But I don't find it all that offensive. Vomiting, on the other hand, involves stomach convulsions and ejection of half digested food mingled with digestive juices that don't taste that great. Vomiting I do not like.

Some people on this forum use the terms interchangeably, but to me there is a real difference.

I feel compassion for your situation but I feel like I need to make a few comments that may not be purely in the category of hugs and support.

The first thing I want to comment about is the drinking. There are about 65 calories in an ounce of vodka or whiskey, and that does not count the mixers. The average beer has about 144 calories. When you say that you are not "eating around the band" are you counting those calories?

Barring some sort of a medical condition weight loss is about calories in vs. calories used. Period. If you are following all the bandster rules and exercising, you should be losing weight. If you are not, then you are either taking in more calories than you are admitting to yourself or you have a medical condition that needs attention. The odds are, though, that you not someone who simply defies the laws of physics and biology and gains weight even though you are actually dieting and exercising.

As others have suggested in this thread, there is a good chance that you are not following the bandster rules quite to the degree you think you are, and that this is the root cause of this problem. That does not make you a bad person. We all mess up on the bandster rules at times. The problem comes in when you are not able to see that this is happening. If you truly believe that you are following all the rules, when in fact you are not, this can lead to a frozen position that does not allow you to find a solution. It can make you feel crazy, like you are some sort of freak of nature who is born to fail no matter what you do. But it is much more likely that the problem is that you are taking in more calories than you realize.

Alcohol is a depressant. It's the last thing you need right now. It can even do things like cause you to see "disappointment" in the eyes of your family that is not really in their eyes, but is really in your own view of yourself.

You are only five months into this thing. It is way to early to decide you are a failure. You've lost 13 pounds and also you have avoided gaining lord knows how many more. You can view that as a failure if you want to, but in many ways it is a success, especially for the first five months. Think where you would probably be without the band?

If you continue to focus on failure, alcohol and self-pity you will just generate more of the same. I say get a grip, be honest about what is really happening here in terms of calorie consumption, go to the doctor if you need to, take responsibility for your self, and find a solution. These things are not easy to do, but there is just no other way.

One other comment is that restriction can change from day to day, and from one time of day to another. I find that I'm quite restricted in the morning and at night, yet pretty wide open at lunch. This is a bit of a problem because it is difficult to tell when I need a fill. But, to answer your question, sometimes I pb at night on a few small bites, but eat a substantial lunch with no problem (other than calories). So I would say yes, it is possible to pb and still need a fill.

Isn't the issue more about who should do the funding, not if it should be done? Didn't the veto indicate that federal funds could not be used, but the $$$-rich pharmaceutical companies are free to conduct research using their own funding?

If this is incorrect, I'm sure someone will set it straight.

In one sense the issue is about funding, because there is nothing stopping the states from proceeding with the research. I recently read that California, for example, has a $3 billion stem cell research program that covers a ten year time frame. On the other hand I don't think that people have big hopes that private funding by pharmaceutical companies ultimatley can fill this gap with respect to the big picture of really getting the full benefit from stem cells.

But while funding of the research may be part of the issue, this really has nothing to do with Bush's veto. Bush has stated that his position is: "I oppose federal funding for stem cell research that involves destroying living human embryos."

In the abortion debate I support the right to choose, but I understand the other side. On the stem cell debate, though, I don't understand the other side at all. The argument against abortion is that you are "destroying a beating heart." Well, that argument certainly has no weight when talking about the little cluster of cells in an embryo - an embryo that is discarded, unwanted, feels nothing and has no consciousness, and will absolutely never become a living human being.

I realize that some people believe that life begins at conception. But that is essentially a religious perspective. There is no beating heart here, no little feet on the ultrasound. To me it is inconceivable that people should feel like they have the right impose their religious views on others and force millions of adult human beings - wives, mothers, sons, brothers - to live with Parkinson's, Alzheimer's, spinal cord injury, stroke, burns, heart disease, diabetes, osteoarthritis and rheumatoid arthritis (just some of the diseases that can, potentially, be cured by this research).

The arrogance and selfishness of people like Bush and those who support him on this issue is absolutely breathtaking.

I know, I know, some people believe that their views and opinions are supported by "the word of God."

That's where the problem comes in. There is no room for rational discussion with people who believe that their opinions directly reflect "the word of God." Such people will never be able to form the concept in their minds that any other view is possible.

In this particular context, this process of forcing personal religious morality on others causes immense suffering, and is tragic beyond comprehension.

There can be little doubt at this point that this will all change as soon as Bush is swept out of the picture. But even this much delay slams the door in the face of a huge number of suffering human beings, and ends all hope for them.

I start with peat but then I repeat with pete. I try to be discreet.

Uh I never really knew that the taste of peat was a good thing...:paranoid

Peat's pretty good if you smother it with BBQ Sauce.< /p>

Awesome! That's persistence for you. Congratulations.

Congratulations, Laurend. Sounds like you are doing great! You'll be back on your feet in no time.

I had my second fill a couple weeks ago and my doctor said that half the saline was missing. Her theory was quite simple: she suspects a leak in the tubing or port area. I have a little bit of restriction from the second fill, but not much. It seems to me that the restriction has not diminished since I got the fill, which it might if there was a leak, so I don't know what to think. I do know that leaks can happen, but I hope I don't have one.

I know this issue has come up before. I hope that others will post about their experiences. I'd hate to have to go in for another surgery.

Ooh, post the recipe, please.

If possible, please post a recipe for a 30 gallon batch. Thanks

Another thing that can help, although some people find the concept a bit weird: Take a big mouthful of food, chew it up, and spit it out. Now, of course, if you do that with chocolate mousse or ice cream you are going to find that there is not much left to spit out after you chew it, so it does not work well with some things. But with steak or a sandwich or something, it can really help with the problem you are describing.

Good points being made. Except for the Bullseye Barbeque Sauce report. I don't know about that. I will have to do a taste test and report back.

The "chocolate" underwear remark is pretty dang funny.

But Bush, he's not funny. He's a train wreck. And he's taking our country down with him. Have you been reading about the things that his appointee to the Supreme Court (mostly Roberts, although the other one is nearly as bad) has been saying lately?

I am prepared cast my vote for Bullseye as well. It is about the best commercially available BBQ Sauce that I've found. I like to use KC Masterpiece for full body soaking, however, because they sell it at costco in 30 gallon drums.

As for Bush, I'm now to the point of just trying to hold my breath until his term is over. I keep passing out, but this is only a problem when I'm driving.

By the way, did you hear? Barbara Bush has now asked for a DNA test to make sure Dubya is really hers. Now that's just sad.

ok just have to vent hope you guys dont mind...i got my band on may 23..lil over a month ago..i lost between 25 to 30 lbs, but just by diet alone...I have no restriction at all...The thing im getting frustrated about the most is i have a doctors appointment next week,but dont know when i get a fill...i cant do this on my own any longer..if i could i wouldnt of needed this ban...im tired of ground up chicken, Soup, salad etc..i have cheated once or twice,and thinking about cheating again..what should i do?

There's an actual term for this phase, it's called "Bandster Hell." If you run a search with this term in the forum search function you'll see that you are not alone. It's the phase after surgery but before getting fills. You are right, it's just like doing it on your own, because without restriction you may as well not have the band.

There is no good answer. Just keep working toward getting fills and getting proper restriction. Then you will be able to start using the band. Right now it's like you don't have the band.

As for cheating, I wouldn't say to go nuts, but I think you should not feel too bad if you are not able to stick totally with the diet program. People frequently say that this phase if for "healing" not for "losing weight." Perhaps there is a middle ground that makes sense, where you can lose weight if possible, but mainly try and avoid gaining, and keep working toward getting fills and proper restriction.

Probably the most important things to keep in mind are (a) you are not alone, most people go through this, and (:eek: don't be too hard on yourself if you don't lose a lot of weight while you are in "Bandster Hell."

It's not the sound of the machine. It's when the nose piece comes out, the air leaks (So to speak) rather than going in my nose, it blows outwards, THAT's the noise that wakes me up.

Other than that one little piece coming out, I LOVE it.

~*Ash*~

It's good that you have a quiet machine, what is the make and model?

To me the Comfort Lite 2 is too bulky and it falls out of place when I move in my sleep, but I know other people do like it. I use the Swift by Resmed. It has what they call "nasal pillows" that sit under your nose rather than going in. I find that I do not have any trouble getting it to stay put with the strap system they have.

But the thing is, CPAP masks are such an individual issue. It's hard to know what will work for another person. You just have to try some. Hopefully you can do that without having to buy them in the process.

As for sound of noise coming from that machine, that can be a problem. Talk to the equipment company about getting the quietest machine possible. This is also not a guarantee of success because they will push the brands they carry, but its a start. I have an older model Respironics something-pro with C-Flex. It's a very quiet machine and I still use it even though I have a newer model machine.

All things considered, though, keep trying. Once you get rolling with the CPAP it can be well worth it. It can help you sleep a lot better and make you feel better in general. Apnea is very hard on your body all the way around.

250 pounds is a long way to go, no doubt, but I've seen some people talk about losing more then 200. It can be done. You should probably look for the thread for high BMI bandsters. I know this has been discussed before.

I also do not agree with you that at your weight 100 pounds does not make a difference. It will make a tremendous difference to your health and how you feel about life and your level of activity. And who cares of people only think you lost 40 pounds, or whatever. This is not a "slap in the face." Weight loss is a little less obvious on a big person. So what? Why is any of that important right now? You health and maybe even your life is at stake here. You have much bigger things to worry about than whether people will properly notice your weight loss.

To me the question is this: Will it be easier to lose the weight with the band? If it will, then it seems like a good idea to add it to your weight loss tool chest. With 250 pounds to lose you are going to need to do many things on the road to recovery. You'll need to have a sensible diet, not involving starvation by any means, but sensible. You'll have to exercise. We are not talking about becoming a triathlete, but some amount of exercise is going to be necessary. At least a lot of walking. You will probably also want to look into how and why you got that large. It would not hurt to consider some of those psychological and emotional issues in this process. So it will probably take a combination approach. And it will definitely take time.

But, will it be easier with the band? I think the answer is yes. And, frankly, it may be close to impossible without the band.

So, if you go into this whole thing with a realistic view, I think you will be in a position to succeed. Don't go into it thinking that the band is a magic wand that is going to do it all for you. That will not happen and if you think it will, you are setting yourself up for a big disappointment. But even though the band is not magic, it is an extremely useful tool that will very likely make your journey much easier. It will be a big part of your weight loss package, and it may very well be the thing that puts you over the top in this battle and lets you succeed.

luvmyiggy, your life is at stake here. 465 if life threatening. Stop putting your attention on the things that don't matter. Get out there and fight.

Good luck to you.