marjon9

BabyGotBack said "I just needed to check in. I am eating more than I ever have, eating all the things I never allowed myself to since I lived my life from one diet to the next. I am getting really tired of fast food and eating out. I feel like crap. I am actually looking forward to my pre op diet on Jan. 29. I am a type of person that NEEDS structure. If I don't have a strict structure, I go crazy!!!"

All I can say is I'm doing the same thing. My pre-op diet starts Jan 2. I'm starting to look forward to it. This pre-band freedom is killing me. Literally. I just took my dogs to the dog park and on the way home I stopped and bought a McDonalds McFlurry. :embarassed: You know, the soft plastic quasi ice-cream-like chemical dessert item. I almost felt compelled to do so by an alien master race. :messenger3: Now I feel like, well, a McFlurry. :sick

I really think I'm going to be able to stick with the plan once installation and setup is complete on the band. I just need to survive that long.

Check out the FAQ button at the top, it tells you how to do all that. In addition to starting a new thread, you can also run a search for "mexico," and you'll find enough reading to keep you occupied for quite a while.

Hi Dolittle.

Almost everyone who goes to Mexico for surgery seems to have a very positive experience, so for self-pay I think it's a great idea. One other option is a very exerienced bariatric surgeon in Colorado, Dr. Kirshenbaum, who has been doing lap bands for a couple years now. You can get more info on hime at LapbandRockies.com

His total price is $9950.

If you run a search on this site you can see posts from others who have used Dr. Kirshenbaum. I'm scheduled for sugery with him on 1/16.

But again, the Mexican docs also seem great. The general price there seems to be about $8500 these days.

In general, if you get surgery outside your local area, try to line up someone for fills and other aftercare in your area before proceeding with the surgery. It's good to know for sure that you have options. In some geographic areas of the U.S. it can be very difficult to find aftercare if you had surgery somewhere else.

If your insurance will cover this I would focus on finding the best doctors in your area, not just on the best doctors in general in the USA. Many doctors are quite good at this, and experienced, and there can be some advantages to staying local.

Keep reading this forum. All the answers you need are in here.

Welcome and good luck.

Mark

so you're not feeling hungry all the time?

I'm not banded yet and obviously no expert but just from reading a lot of posts for a while I think that the answer to this question is different for different people. Some people feel almost no hunger ever, starting right after surgery. Others report that they are starving all the time for months and months.

So, why get a band, you may ask? You can be starving all the time without the band, so who needs it?

Good question. And I think this is the answer. The band is a tool that needs adjustment and calibration. If you keep working at this process by getting the fills you need (and sometimes the unfills), you can eventually find the "sweet spot" where even those who are hungry all the time after surgery can eventually find a balance where this goes away. Some people are lucky and reach this point quickly. With others it takes a long time. A few people report that they just can't ever seem to solve this problem. Rare, but it does happen.

And also, from what I read here, many people seem to report that food just gradually becomes less interesting. It's not that they don't enjoy a good meal, but it's more of a mindset that happens naturally, without "will power," that food gradually becomes less and less of the central feature of people's lives. They get busy with other things. They are more active physically, more social, more interested and more interesting.

So, from a complete newcomer who has no first hand knowledge, that's how I see it from reading posts by the experts and experienced people here.

Honestly, I would recommend that you let me make the decision. I say go for it. :omg:

It's an interesting story about seeing your legs in the reflection and not realizing they were yours. That's the kind of experience that lets you know something is really changing. Congratulations. I'm happy for you (but a little worried for your husband, if you see what I mean).

My surgery date is 1/16

I don't have to do liquids before, only after.

Before surgery I just need to go Adkins for 2 weeks. You know the drill, no carbs. So I guess that means I can eat fois gras as I attempt to shrink my liver.

So, until January 2, 2007, I'm on a strict salt, fat, and sugar diet. And I'm really sticking to it. No cheating. (Cheetos, yes, Cheating, no).

:hungry: :party: :pizza: :popcorn: :cocktail: :pop2: :cheer2: :tea: :peace: :whoo: :cake:

My wife is telling me I should start eating less now to get ready for the big change

:boink: :blah: :huggie: :fencing: :boxing: :director: :mad2: :croc: :nono:

But I don't want to hear it. :lalala:

I'll be eating the "bandland" way soon enough. :puke:

I got the last one. I stuffed it in my pants.

I certainly agree with ousooner. If you are worried that your kids might have "no mother," in my opinion it is the fat you should be worried about, not the lap band. I'm not looking forward to the surgery or the post-op liquid diet, that's for sure, but I am very grateful to get a real chance to recover from what I've done to myself.

A man who goes around with a NO FAT CHICKS t-shirt is a cold-hearted, mean-spirited moron. There is no excuse for hurting and humiliating strangers in public.

But even if that is true, I still think it is unfair to hold it against a man or woman simply because they are not attracted to extremely fat people of the opposite sex. Most people are not attracted to fat. That's just the way it is. It's not going to do any good to fight against or deny that reality, or categorize the majority of human beings as shallow losers.

And I do have a question. If a man is expected to see through the obesity to find the inner beauty inside a fat woman, why can't that woman look through the man's lack of attraction for fat and see through to the inner beauty in that man? A man who is not attracted to fat is just not attracted to fat. It's not a conscious decision to be mean or shallow. It's just the nature of most people. It seems pretty shallow in reverse to hold that natural reality against the man in return.

My final motivation was the last 30 pounds. In the last year I went from 320 to 350. At 350 I was no longer within striking distance of the 200s. I could no longer convince myself that I was going to turn it around. I realized that I was basically out of control, that "diet and exercise" were never going to do it for me, and if I didn't find another answer soon I was going to die. Once I fully understood that in my heart I immediatly made the decision to do the band. I found this site the next day.

Sometimes in the last couple months I've had this image of myself as out in the middle of the ocean getting tired and in danger of drowning. I could see the rescue ship on the way (the lap band), and I have just been hoping that I could hang on until the ship arrived. I feel like I'm going to make it, but without a lot of room to spare.

I agree that you should not marry someone unless you love them, and if you love them you would still love them if they got fat. There is no excuse for abusing your wife or husband for being fat.

But on the other hand, serious obesity is almost universally considered unattractive. I think if you marry someone you also owe that person your best effort to not become extremely unattractive. Yes, your spouse should stick with you through both "thick" and "thin," so to speak, but it really sucks to ask them to do that. I think it is grossly unfair to not realize how hard it is for the spouse of someone who was slim and attractive at the wedding and morbidly obese ten years later. Yes, they should stick with you, but get real, it's pretty awful to inflict that on your spouse.

I agree that it can be called "shallow" to reject your wife if she becomes fat. But that word "shallow" is also thrown around in this thread in relation to the dating phase. I totally disagree that it is "shallow" if a man or woman would not want to date you because you are morbidly obese. That is just a denial of reality.

When I married my wife I was in pretty good shape. She has stuck with me through these times when I got very fat. I am grateful to her for that and I am determined to use this band to recover my body.

But I can also say that she never would have gone out with me at the beginning if I want 350 pounds when we met. Does that make her shallow? It's hard for me to believe how many people on this thread seem to think so.

I found nicorette gum helpful. But you have to want to quit, too. I smoked for about 15 years, but when my mother died a horrible death from lung cancer I finally could not continue to smoke and still look myself in the mirror. That was about 10 years ago. If a person is willing to look at even 10% of the truth about smoking and what it does to your body then they will be compelled to quit. There is just no way to justify that level of self abuse. It's only through extreme denial that a person can continue smoking.

I would be frustrated too based on what you are describing. But I don't think it has anything to do with you being a "failure." From reading the board it seems clear that sometimes it takes a while for the band to start working. Some people get restriction sooner than others. Some people lose weight faster than others. People say that the first six weeks are for healing, not losing weight, and some people even gain weight during this time. Everyone says this is normal.

I feel like a failure all the time about my weight, but we all have to put our attention on other things now. We have to find a way to make this band work for us. Keep posting about your experiences here and get people's feedback on how to move forward. Talk to your doctor. Keep your focus on solving the problems and making the band work for you. You know how the song goes. "Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again." You are way too early in the game here to even think about words like failure.

Keep posting on this board. I know that's going to help me.

I'm also having a surprisingly negative response from my wife, which continues even after explanation of the different types of surgeries. I did not expect this and it has got me flustered. She has a fairly wide circle of friends and she is getting all kinds of input from them about how so-and-so died from this surgery, etc. She's afraid I'm going to become a vegetable. I told her vegetables are good for you and that did not elicit the jolly response I was hoping for. I'm really finding this whole thing quite distracting. I was hoping to spend these weeks wallowing in my own pre-surgery jitters and confusion, and instead I am finding that my total focus is on convincing her what a great idea this is. Very disconcerting.

It's all liquid, ,... for ten days pre-op and then four weeks post-op. Siyah

So, like 38 days on a total liquid diet? Is that right? I have not heard others describe anything close to that. Am I missing something?

This should not just be a question for the ladies. My wife tells me I've gained a few cup sizes in recent years as well! If I lose too much weight I just may consider implants. I don't want to have to buy a whole new wardrobe, if you see what I mean.

One time when I was about 20 I went on a long "Eurail Pass" tour of Europe and then down to N. Africa. Toward the end of that trip I contracted something truly dreadful. I'll spare you the detaisl. But by the end of it I weighed about 170. After I recovered from the illness I maintained that weight for about half a year and I was perfectly healthy. It's hard to believe that I could be healthy at that weight, since I'm about twice that now. So, I'm really not sure what my "goal" should be. I'm thinking 199, but that may be too ambitious. Anyway, as Alexandra said, it's the health that matters. I think once I lose 100 plus pounds I will feel so much better I won't care much anymore about the scale. We'll see.

The nutritionist I spoke to works with the lap band doc, so she definitely did not try to talk me out of it. When I spoke to her it was just to get a rundown of what to eat and how to eat in the before and after phases of surgery. The information is useful, but I agree it is also available on the board here.

I really think that a nutritionist recommended by your surgeon is not going to try to talk you out of the surgery.

I also think that nutritionist who "does not believe" in WLS was out of line. Even if you think that WLS is not so great, you have to compare it to the alternative. Being extremely overweight is just too damaging to the body. It's hard enough getting ready for surgery. You don't need additional obstacles from people who are not doctors and have not walked in your shoes.

I hear Baklava helps

Congrats ousooner on your awesome results. Your web site is great. I'll show my wife and I think that will help her become a full member of the "band."

I'm in Rockville. But I'm certainly familiar with Dulles. That's our main airport as well.

You seem like you are in good spirits notwithstanding it all. I'll be interested to see how long it takes before you are feeling fully recovered.

Hi Kirsten, I have a question. Did they give you any pain medication? Did this come up at all in your discussions? I'm wondering if I should bring it up.

Thanks

Mark

Hi Kirsten, thanks for the report and welcome back. Glad to hear everything went well. It will be me in Colorado in less than a month. :nervous I look forward to hearing how things go for you over then next weeks and months. Welcome back!

Mark

Hi Joe, I had the same problem. At first my wife thought this was going to be an open surgery involving a long incision, etc. Once she learned it was laparoscopic she started to calm down a bit. But still worries about risks and complications, etc. She then started to ask why I could not just use diet and exercise. It's hard to explain why this is not a realistic option. Sometimes I still feel like a failure because those methods don't work for me. My wife does not have any issues with weight or food. It's just hard for her to understand why I would want/need surgery and a band on my stomach instead of just eating a little less. In some ways it's a good question. But I know diets are not going to work for me.

Anyway, I think now she is convinced that the risks associated with being 125 lb overweight are significantly greater than the risk of surgery, especially since I'm not so young anymoer (53), so she is reluctantly on board. I feel confident that eventually she will agree that this was the right thing to do, and be glad I did it. I do expect to lose substantial weight over the next year, and I think she will not mind that at all.

Good luck to you on this issue (and all the others).

Mark