marjon9

Can you imagine dating somebody who wouldn't date you at your heaviest......as soon as you stop meeting his/her espectatives you'll be history....

Yes Lord!!!

My wife has made very plain to me that she never would have gone out with me if I was morbidly obese (as I am now) when she met me. Yet she has stuck with me through this weight situation. I feel very bad about the fact that I have inflicted my grotesque body on my dear wife for the last few years, and I am very grateful that she has continued to love me.

So my question is, now that I realize how shallow she was at the time I met her (since she would not have dated me if I was morbidly obese), should I leave her now? After all, who would want to be married to someone who was so shallow that they would not want to date a morbidly obese man? After reading this thread I feel like my only viable option is to file for divorce immediately, now that I realize how shallow my wife was at the time I met her.

Thanks everyone for your responses, I really appreciate it.

Robin, I agree, I don't want to go alone, but I may have no choice. If I do go alone I won't try to come back for at least a few days. I'll hang out in a motel in Denver and watch "General Hospital," "As the Stomach Turns," "Bands of Our Lives," and other appropriate programming as I glaze out on broth, popsicles and vicadin. Actually, it sounds pretty good when I think of it.

:sick :faint:

Shesha, I spoke to them about that. The doc's office said that I can stay the first night in the hospital if I must travel alone. The fee for that is $500. I don't want to travel alone, believe me, but my wife is having a hard time arranging the time off, so I may have no choice.

Hi Shesha, I did not ask what size band. It's an interesting question. I'll ask next time I talk to the doc.

Also, I'm wondering, you mentioned that your surgery date is 1/16. Originally I thought it was 1l25. Did you change the date?

Mine is 1/16 also. That would be pretty amazing to have the surgery in the exact same time and place. Maybe we can play Monopoly while we are waiting in pre-op.

It's getting close. I'm starting to get obsessed. Sometimes it's hard to concentrate on my job when I'm at work. I'm really looking forward to the time about a month after surgery where I'm pretty well healed up and able to eat a little bit of real food. But I guess there are no shortcuts on that path. Just one foot in front of the other.

Did they tell you how long the liquid diet will be?

Once you sign up Paula Pierce, the nutritionist, will send you some info and contact you to discuss it all. Here's the general rundown.

· Post-surgery Diet

Weeks1: Clear liquid diet

Weeks 2-4: Full Liquid/Pureed Diet

My pre-op diet is basically just no-carb diet for 10 days. I'm doing it for two weeks just for the heck of it. All things considered this is a fairly humane program compared to some I've seen. I have no idea which is better, but you know what they say, trust your doctor. I'm glad Kirshenbaum has a relatively painless program. I also like the fact that he has no psych exam. I prefer to be treated as if I am presumptively competent to make my own decisions.

Hey girls!! I wouldn't stress too much about the weather.

Hey DrewsLou, does that mean us guys should still stress about the weather?? Just kidding. :pound:

Mark

I've taken a week, and I also said I might have to work from home for a bit after that. I see that most people recover fine within a week, but a few seem to need longer, so I'm trying to cover myself. I must say I'm a little worried about working full time while on a liquid diet, but I'm sure it will work out.

Anything you can mash with a fork or put in a blender is acceptable too. I read one time where a lady was having a hamburger craving so she put it in the blender.

A hamburger smoothie. Wow. It's hard to believe but in a couple weeks that will probably sound really good to me too. :hungry:

I asked about the weather when I called the week before last and she basically said if it's small snow they keep going. If it's a couple feet of snow that they close everything down. Like you said though, it makes sense that would be more prepared, so they would more recover quickly. She really didn't say much else.

I was a little concerned about this before last weeks storm and now I am really wondering. I really want to give @ least a months notice @ work and go ahead and book my flight, so I might just have to take a chance.

Hopefully by the time your surgery comes the weather will be better.

I'm from NC...Where are you flying from?

I'm flying from D.C.

Just curious, how much time are planning to take off work?

As it turns out I may have to go to the surgery alone, and I'm curious how often other people have done this. Any comments about this topic would also be appreciated. Thanks very much.

I'm scheduled with Dr. K for Jan 16, so I'm definitely thinking the same thoughts as you are. But I have my flights booked and time off from work set up, so I'm not going to mess with anything at this point. I asked the Doctor's office about this issue when I first called, and they said that Denver, having had some experience in this area, is generally pretty quick to recover from these things. They said that they would do whatever they could to make it work out if weather did cause problems at the time (such as getting the surgery done the next day if the weather made things impossible on the scheduled date).

If you do call the Doctor's office to ask about this, I'd be interested to hear what they say, and what you decide, if you feel like sharing that info.

Mark

For those who may be interested Better Than Boullion is available on line at

http://www.superiortouch.com/index.html

CVS online has liquid tylenol and all the other things we need from a pharmacy. For the other things like Protein items, boullion, etc., I found just about everything for the whole process from a few different sources. I like to shop in general but for this it seemed easiest just to order on line and let them bring it all to me. Other than popsicles, Soup, and flavored water I think I've got it all.

Mexico has worked well for a lot of people. It's definitely a viable option. One Dr. in the U.S. you might also want to consider is Dr. Kirshenbaum in Denver. His price is just a little higher than Mexico. Check him out at "www.lapbandrockies.com" if interested.

Probably the best thing to do is just spend as much time as possible running searches and reading posts on this forum. That process will answer many of your questions.

Welcome and Good luck

Mark

Today I put together my list of post-op necessities. Basically, I used the lists in the "stickies" section of the Pre-Op Post-Op Questions. They seem pretty complete. Most everything was available on line except for a few things from the grocery store like popsicles. I ordered all the drug store stuff from CVS online. Found a good price on some Atkins shakes and various types Protein powders and ordered a few weeks' supply. Ordered my blender from Target.com. I found that "Better Than Boullion" stuff on line as well.

About three weeks to go before I "tie the knot" so to speak.

Feeling ready.

I hate the sound of one hand clapping, so I figured I'd answer your question since I saw the answer today in the FAQ section. Here's what the FAQ says about that.

The administrator may have enabled referrals, which allows you to be credited for any new users you invite to the forum.

You gain referrals by promoting LapBandTalk.com - Lap Band Talk Forum - A forum for Lap Band Discussion and Lap Band Support using your unique referral link. The link you should use as your referral link is this:

http://www.LapBandTalk.com/index.php?referrerid=11032

Each time someone follows this link to LapBandTalk.com - Lap Band Talk Forum - A forum for Lap Band Discussion and Lap Band Support and registers as a new member, your referral count will be incremented by one. The number of referrals you have can be viewed in your profile.

Your administrator will have more information on any prizes or rewards that may be given out for referrals. Please be courteous when promoting LapBandTalk.com - Lap Band Talk Forum - A forum for Lap Band Discussion and Lap Band Support by not spamming other web sites with your referral link just to gain referrals.

Wow, that sucks. I can't think of anything that would make me more pissed off. I assume that insurance is involved in this for you. If you are self pay I would just tell your surgeon to kiss your bumber and go find a doctor who is less paternalistic. There are plenty such doctors. Like mine, for example.

It could be a nice addition. Sometimes while looking through this forum I

have thought it might be nice to be able to claw my way up onto a

tiny toe hold of estrogen-free territory for a bit of sanity and recovery.

Just kidding, of course. :heh:

But it is interesting how few men are involved in this forum, comparatively speaking. :kiss2:

Perhaps more men will be joining soon. :flypig:

Thanks Tonya, that's very useful. I've seen bits and pieces of this information in different places but it's good to have it organized. I definitly plan on referring to that again. I like the question they ask at the end: "Are you ready to go the distance?" I think it's a good question for focusing the mind on the task at hand.

I did post pics and one guy did end our communication because of my size, but really there are plenty of people around that are not that superficial...

I can't help myself. This type of comment does get under my skin. It's nothing against you Tracy, I agree with everything else you said in your post. But do you really believe that every man who is not immediately attracted to extremely obese women is "superficial"?

I see this type of comment on this board quite frequently. I've also seen such men referred to as "jerks." To me it is a way of blaming others for what we have done to ourselves. The fact of the matter is, very few men are initially attracted to morbidly obese women. And, of course, very few women are initally attracted to morbidly obese men. That's just the way it is in this world. Who can deny this?

Attraction can grow as love grows, and I've found myself attracted to obese women when I got to know them. And, of course, no one would condone leaving a significant relationship because a spouse/partner gains weight. But that is an entirely different issue.

The issue here is, when you are first dating, and especially dating online when you know absolutely nothing real about the person you are about to meet, how is it possible to expect that others will not consider the fact that we are so fat that we are medically disabled, to the point where we deserve to have medical insurance pay $25,000 for our surgery?

At this point in my life I am physically unattractive to the large majority of females out there. This is because of what I did to myself. It's my fault. I cannot imagine a mindset that would allow me to blame women for finding me unattractive, because they are "superficial" "jerks."

Are "Cracker Jacks" mushies? :hippie:

I'm really in the same place you are. I'm finding it hard to "diet" during this holiday season when I know the pre op diet is just a few days away. I really think that the best thing you can do right now is try not to be too hard on yourself for overeating a bit in these last few days. Do the best you can, but don't beat yourself up if you are not perfect. The timeline is set now, the snowball has already started rolling down the hill and it's getting bigger. There's no stopping it now. Just go with the flow, as they say, and before you know it, you'll be among the banded, off on a new life/adventure.

Ditto to self.

I don't know if I can help you on the really quick surgery date, but as for pre-op diet my doc has me doing Adkins for 10 days before surgery, and that's it. Basically just getting rid of all carbs. That seems a lot less painful than liquids. As I've noted before the Adkins diet allows me to eat fois gras, which seems like an odd plan for shrinking the liver. But hey, whatever works.

Of course, I'll meet my Grim liquids Reaper after the surgery. So there's no escape.

A couple other things about my doc may be interesting to you. First, he's in the Denver area, which is not too far from you. Second, he has a very low fee, which is good for us self-payers. He charges $9950 for everything. If you'd like to check him out have a look at lapbandrockies.com. His name is Dr. Kirshenbaum. He's a very experienced laparoscopic surgeon who has been doing lap bands for a couple years now. If you search his name on this forum you'll find a few people who have worked with him.

Best o' luck to ya.

Mark

I recalculated my BMI today and guess what! I'm no longer eligible for lapband surgery!

I think that means you have to give back the band now.

By the way, you had your first fill two weeks after surgery, and then three fills in two weeks. That seems a little faster than others have reported. Is that just your doctor's preference? I'd like to move forward quickly too if I can once I get banded, if the doc thinks it's a good idea.

I'm 53. Surgery date is 1/16/07. Can't wait for a new life.

Mark