girlinnyc

eating "mushy" food--haven't had a problem yet. not sure if i'm sticking exactly to the "letter of the law" as i haven't actually chopped anything up in a cuisinart or blender. have chosen soft foods, chewed them up well--and hoped for the best. so far, so good.

i'm sticking to soup at lunch. don't want to bring a PB (especially my first) on myself at work...still--i know myself, my old, old habits of eating REALLY FAST--have to be tamed and retrained. ugh. very hard to do. paying more attention to what i'm eating and how fast--than i have in years. decades, actually.

i still think i feel the band--or whatever--inside my ribcage. or else it's just very sore. not sure. whenever i have been sitting or lying awhile--then get up--i can feel the stiffness, soreness, or is it the BAND, inside me. not happy about this. hope this feeling will go away some day. willing to give it time--but not forever. my incisions are healing pretty well. black and blue around my midsection is fading too.

my work clothes are not as tight as they were. this is good. nothing is falling off me, tho. not throwing out clothes by the hefty bagful yet. and not going shopping yet either. :cry

i am looking forward to trip to mexico in 3 wks. i hope i can eat solid food successfully by then. i'm a little worried about how i will eat there--altho, will have a kitchen. if necessary--will cook every damn thing myself. and taking optifast shakes with me (note to self--buy more optifast).

that's it--a boring entry. nothing going on. no news is good news. :scared:

i hope you feel better soon--my worst day was the 2nd day after surgery--then it got much better after that.

thank god your vision is returning! call the dr. with any questions--after all you just had surgery a couple of days ago--they should be willing and able to talk to you about any concerns! that's part of what you pay for!!

take it easy!!

did your dr. not want you to stay on a liquid diet, at least for awhile, after surgery? then move to mushy food--then to solids? you might want to do that--give the band time to heal, and so on. i first nibbled on "solid" food yesterday--a soft omelet, just about 1/2 of it. i have heard the "i felt like i was having a heart attack" comment from others--and it scares me to death. hope you are feeling better now. why not stick to liquids--such as protein shakes and soups for now--you will feel full-because you are so newly banded. write me, if you want more ideas.

best wishes,

girlin

nyc

have you gone to a pain specialist? i know what you mean about chronic pain making you mean--i have seen a pain specialist--i have a nerve pain in my foot--and i take lyrica--which is a replacement for neurontin--these are for nerve pain--and i think they help (though every now and then, the pain breaks through and i go wild--want to cut my foot off)--but pain dr's definitely do take your pain seriously. look some up on the internet--in your area--see if you can get an appt. with one. did you talk to your other dr(s) about sending you to a pain specialist? ASK!

best wishes, hope you find a dr. to help you with this chronic situation; i definitely know how you feel. it's TERRIBLY unpleasant. my sympathy is with you,

girlin

nyc

needles are SO minor--just look away--and think of it as a PINCH--which is all it really is! you'll be fine!! take a deep breath at the time--and relax--it will be easier!

best of luck!!

today i had soup--2x. once for lunch--only about 1/2 cup of soup. and that was fine.

but THEN....a few hours later (probably 4.5 hours), i had BIG plate of soup--probably 2 cups. TOO MUCH. ugh. it's about 7 hrs later and i have no desire to eat ANYTHING. i was wayyyy too full from that soup---and i could immediately feel the effects from the band or my stomach or WHATEVER--about 5 min after i downed that entire thing of soup.

ugh.

major mistake.

also, on friday--had esophogeal spasms. probably from how fast i ate "dinner" (1 optifast shake AND some more damn soup) on thursday night--again, i immediately realized--"that was NOT good"--and suffered for it right through friday afternoon.

now--i DON'T want to be known at the surgeon's office as "that P.I.T.A. patient again" (for those who need to know definition of p.i.t.a.--write me privately) and i hesitated to call them -- so i reached out to someone here, and got back the "esophogeal spasm" explanation--and yep--sounded just like what i had done to myself. so--by not eating anything filling for the morning--and taking 2 advil--i eventually felt better.

i MUST get used to the 1/2 cup limit. it's just that NOTHING that small EVER filled me up in the past. it's so NOT ME (bitter laugh).

well--the measuring cup is about to be my new best friend.

and although tomorrow, sunday, is one day short of the 2 wks past surgery day--and technically 1 day early to start mushy food--i think i want to start it AT HOME--just to see if i can eat it. i DO NOT want to be at work, trying this out for the first time. (ok, ok, i COULD just eat soup at work for lunch, as i've been doing---but i KNOW myself--and i KNOW my temptations...).

then again---after today's fiasco with the 2 cups of soup---maybe i SHOULD just stay on the "soup at lunch" plan i've been on. i really haven't been hungry.

ok--another lesson learned. ouch.

but still--i don't HATE the band inside me--it's not that the pain i've felt has been so overwhelming that i want it ripped out of me--it's more like "ok, you've GOT to learn how you'll be feeling with this---and learn to live with the limits." i WANT limits-this is what i signed up for...so, in a weird way--it's all GOOD. eventually---i'm going to "get it."

actually, i DO belong to the gym--but i am taking it easy. the dr. said no lifting weights (which i like) for 6 wks--i COULD go on the treadmill--but eh. and i look like i've been kicked by a mule. don't want to have to EXPLAIN to anyone in the locker room "no my husband DOESN'T beat me". i will walk at lunch today--going to MOOD--the fabric store of Project Runway! need some velvet for new pockets for old coat!

seems like this "massive sinus infection" is really hitting everyone (on the east coast). my sister has it--and has had it for quite sometime (which is why she is NOT ALLOWED NEAR ME). she finally had to see an ENT dr. for some steroids AND antibiotics. i hope you feel better soon!!

i mix my shakes in the blender with a lot of ice, then pour them over ice--really helps them taste better-whatever the brand you use. (i use optifast--which i get from the dr's office; i like the premixed chocolate).

good luck on your upcoming surgery!

wow--you are doing FANTASTICALLY well--i'm going to have to read this whole diary--there must be some GOOD inspiration here. just reading your list of descending numbers makes me feel "i can do this!!"

you go girl!

i went back to work yesterday. not too bad--because basically i sit at computer all day--can get up when i want to/have to--and i left not TOO long after 5 pm (6--only 1 hr...not too bad). i came home and IMMEDIATELY took painkiller--not that i was DYING or anything-- i just wanted to be more comfortable. i figure--i have painkiller--i may as well use it. :heh:

well, i was comfortable all right--fell during the first 10 min of American Idol (which i'm sure was no great loss)--and woke up for the 11:00 news.

today was better--but that's probably because i slept late--as my first stop this morning was not work--but the hospital for the esophogram. an easy test--they just make you stand against a machine, and you drink some strawberry flavored glop (a few sips) while the machine films you. then i took the films and report to my surgeon's office (all this at the hospital--so no major traveling between locations)--for a post op check by the nurse--then made appt for first fill (feb 21) and finally to work.

i have been eating more creamy soups--au bon pain potato & leek soup--awesome. i had corn chowder for lunch today--i'm sure that's NOT a recommended item for the 2nd week--but it was ok--i tried to avoid the corn--and just have the soup (and carrots and potatoes--very soft). yesterday, i was much less hungry than today--but today, my diet wasn't well-managed, as i was running around too much.

this evening i attended my first "users group" of lapbanded people. it was jam-packed! nice people--some of whom i've talked to here-i met in person. some interesting topics were brought up--i probably would have been more comfortable if i could have EATEN first (too much planning to make that happen)--was RAVENOUS when i got home.

ate, really fast, an optifast shake AND a bowl of mushroom soup for dinner--way too much food. now i've got a big pain in my left side--by my waist--can't decide what that's from--took MORE painkiller--and i hope i can now go to sleep--it's pumpkin time--12:00!

are you using optifast? i put them in the blender with ice--and even some vanilla flavoring, if you want--makes them foamy and taste better. try that! bet it would work with slim fast too. i got a $14.99 blender from target or kmart for this task--it crushes ice well and is plastic and easy to clean.

much less tired--though i think i've totally messed up my normal sleeping pattern---i'm up ALL NIGHT--and that's not going to work for my day job. MUST get back to sleep at a normal hour--TONIGHT.

i have virtually no pain--but i'm itching where the steri-strips are--and that's starting to drive me crazy.

also, i take quite a few medications--which i used to swallow in one big gulp. that now takes 30 min or more--one pill at a time--and the larger pills either are cut up (into 6 separate pieces) or have been portioned into smaller one-pill doses (multiple) of the larger amounts. this all takes TIME to get down. then i feel very full--and i'm not sure whether they're going down that easily--or gathering in a lump somewhere. hard to tell.

i have been VERY hungry. this liquid only diet for 2 full weeks--i'll never survive it. :cry

i have esophogram appt on wed--then followup with surgeon's office-where i hope to ask if i can move on to more substantial food. i have taken pain killer as an appetite suppressant--it worked--but i'm sure that's not a good strategy.

i also have some light burping--don't know what that's from--hope that will ease up soon. or--is that a "rest of my life" thing? hard to know at the moment.

have i lost weight? oh, who knows. i'm only going to "officially" weigh at the dr's office. my scale changes depending on what part of the 100-yr old tile floor it's on. i can "lose" 5 lbs in 2 seconds--by moving the scale!

i see you and i had the same banding date==Monday! how are you feeling? i feel kind of dizzy and weird. not in much pain--today definitely better than yesterday...but not "right." drinking optifast shakes--slowly--and get some slight burping. how bout you??

best wishes,

girlin

nyc

and i'm feeling almost human--though somewhat dizzy. probably from lying down too much and not getting up a lot--so--fixing that today. am showered, dressed, shoes on--ready to walk a WHOLE BLOCK (a long one, an AVENUE block) to the nail salon. there's a treat. make my nails look better==-the a WHOLE BLOCK BACK--and collapse.

am still not really hungry--keeping very hydrated--must remember to sip, sip--not gulp, gulp.

am "burping" slightly--just a little--anyone have any ideas on that? i wonder if this is a new, permanent feature....oy vey.

well--time to go out, before i feel too sick and dizzy to try it. my nails are screaming for me to go.

p.s. incisions (or steri-strips) are clean--no bleeding, seeping, or anything else--and not much pain. took much less painkiller--and only once so far today--about 5 hrs ago.

came home today and SLEPT! didn't sleep so well in the hospital--some gas pain--which moved around--and now is gone! so, i was up at 2 am, commiserating with another guy who was banded right after me---then, when my iv pole started beeping away, because it was out of battery juice, i had to return to my room so it could be plugged in--but wasn't sleepy--so, read until 4 am--then fell asleep until 5:30 am--when they started coming around to take temperatures, and so on...so--really, not a lot of sleep time.

i'm AMAZED at how "not so bad" it all was. the dr. (fielding at nyu medical center in nyc) has this down to a factory assembly line--and the anesthesiologists and supporting staff were all really on the ball. when i woke up in recovery--i was conscious, not in pain, and able to talk to my visitors. i did just fine.

today--i had several things to drink--and some painkiller---big tip--ask for painkiller before you leave the hospital--that percocet pill for the ride home was VERY helpful.

i basically feel like i've been punched in the stomach a number of times--so, a dull ache--but nothing REALLY SHARP or UNBEARABLE. the incisions are packed with gauze over the steri-strips--and plastic over that. they said i could take a shower--but was afraid to. tomorrow, i can take the plastic off the steri-strips--they stay on.

i've HAD open abdominal surgery--next to that--this was really, REALLY bearable.

please write and ask me any questions. i'm very happy to be home--i'm working on my optifast shake (watered down) and i'm really NOT hungry.

watching tv, sleeping on and off--and taking the rest of the week off.

ahhhh, so glad it's OVER!!

i check into the hospital at 11:30 am==it's now 9:30. i just took "the last bath"--and now i have to get my husband (a bad photographer) to take my "before" pix.

i got up before the crack of dawn--because i was anxious!

then i fell back asleep and missed my "want to by up by" time of 8 am.

i am HUNGRY (of course) because i can't eat anything now.

and THIRSTY--but i made sure to drink some water just before midnight.

will post back after it's ALL OVER!! EEEEK! :omg:

OK==day 11...2 MORE DAYS.

i'm not hungry.

i stopped eating huge portions of cooked broccoli or string beans--i don't even want them anymore.

i can't believe how NOT HUNGRY i am. it's weird.

and i can go a long time on the protein shakes. it's funny how they immediately give your brain whatever it needs to get moving (not to mention your body)....and i can definitely feel when they stop--at which point, so do i. and just in time for MORE SHAKES.

2 in the morning, 2 at night--for lunch--vegetable soup and some raw vegetable salad. not bad.

i know i'm losing weight because i can BREATHE when dressed in my work outfits...that's a change. as for the scale--well...who knows. i'll find out monday, pre-surgery. i assume they have to weigh you to know how much stuff you need to be anesthetized.

i'm not even thinking about monday so much (except while i write this) because i'm so busy at work. i guess that's good--but at 5:00 p.m.--that's over.

2 more days of pre-op diet--and...voila--i'm banded!

getting nervous about post-op pain...that's all i'm concerned about. oh yeah, and EATING too...but...we'll work on that. if i could be as NOT HUNGRY as i am on this stupid pre-op diet--that would be good.

well, DAY 9 of pre-op diet--i'm just ADDICTED to optifast shakes now. plus i started putting 2 teaspoons of benefiber in it. i'm a little concerned that what's going in, is not moving along as it should be, on this liquid festival...

so--2 shakes for b-fast...then nothing until lunch...

lunch was onion soup--more salad things---2 diet ginger ales. boy i'm going to miss my diet ginger ale.

now i'm plenty full--and there's no more to eat until dinner--2 more optifast things.

and then 2 sugar free choc pops--to feel like i'm having "dessert"--and i'm done for the night.

i could also chew on fruity vitamins the nutritionist gave me.

oh--and the surgeon's office called--my insurance approved me. nothing like waiting until practically the LAST MINUTE--since surgery is MONDAY.

SURE GLAD I'M NOT ON THIS LIQUID NONSENSE FOR NOTHING. boy would i have had a fit if i had an insurance problem. probably would have had a stroke.

nothing new, nothing to talk about--just rolling along at work trying to GET THINGS DONE. and the more i try, the more things pile on before the first things are finished. thought i would get a lot done before surgery day--but it looks dismal right now. guess they're just going to have to LIVE WITHOUT ME for a week here. sure hope the co. doesn't go out of business or anything! (ha ha ha, cynical laugh).:heh:

were you at NYU hospital? that's where i am going next week. thanks for your very detailed description of what it was like aftewards. that is what's terrifying me. also--eating afterwards. the pre-op diet, that i'm NOT liking--is starting to sound like a PICNIC compared to AFTER surgery.

glad you're feeling better!

best wishes,

girlin

nyc

Julie,

Doesn't the band help you with portion size in that it doesn't ALLOW you to eat all that you see in front of you? even if you take more than "you should?" what exactly are you struggling with--putting too much on your plate? eating so much that you get sick? knowing what are good food choices?

i'm sorry if these are stupid questions--i am getting banded next monday--i am IGNORANT!

best wishes,

girlin

nyc

at my corporate cafeteria!! bummer!!

soup, some salad, and 2 diet sodas--over $10.00!! sheesh!

well--day 8 of the disgusting 2 wk pre=op diet--and i'm back to being GOOD. 2 shakes in the morning--adding ICE, ICE, ICE--to make it as cold and frosty as possible--and 2 at night. the sugar-free chocolate pops are good. i feel like i've had dessert after 1 of those.

for lunch--vegetable soup--(clear soup with vegetables, no peas, corn, potatoes--3 cheers for me, i RESISTED the fabulous au bon pain CORN CHOWDER they have every so often :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: )

i am starting to DREAD the thought of surgery. i'm wondering if my endocrinologist ever considered CUSHING's disease, i wonder what my cortisol level is, i'm wondering why i ever got myself into this....i'm desperately looking for OTHER ACTIVITIES to distract myself (oh yeah, i'm at work, supposed to be WORKING). i keep thinking 'what if this won't work on me', 'what if i only lose a little weight from the pre-op diet, and then a little weight from the 2-wks AFTER surgery liquid diet, and then...i just stop losing', 'what if blah blah blah'--anything you can think of--that's what i'm obsessing about... 'how does the band FEEL around your stomach?', 'can you actually FEEL it?', 'what if the dr. puts in the "wrong" kind of port?', 'do i have to PICK the kind of port?', 'how do they decide WHICH kind of port?,' 'how do they decide what size of band?', 'what causes band slippage?', 'am i going to be sliming, burping, pb'ing, reflexing and vomiting for the rest of my life because of this ELECTIVE surgery???'

i'm driving myself KRAZEEEEEEE.

any tips-- people out there who've done this????

thanks....

back to obsession land....

I really screwed up on pre-op diet tonight. i was doing ok--until this evening, when party food made its debut at my place.

disaster.

no alcohol tho.

tomorrow--back on strict pre-op diet.

hope i'm not doomed.

what does anyone else think?????

:cry :cry :cry

you've made the first decision--to take control back! you have kids to live for--this is a great decision for you! congratulations!

best of luck!

girlin

nyc

have you been back to the dr? have they SEEN the gaping holes? this is would concern me a great deal. if you are concerned--go to the E.R. get a second opinion at the emergency room.

please keep posting about this. i hope you are healing quickly.

best wishes,

girlin

nyc