bashful1269

Good point JeweI I'll work on that. I need to be diligent about being on the site it really is inspiring to read about what others are going through.

Well, it's been a while since I've posted. Mainly because I have been so frustrated and down about my band...For three months my scale did not move, despite repeated adjustments and hours of exercise everyday.

I'm happy to report thanks to my last adjustment a week ago, I have finally had a change in the number on the scale. I kicked the darned thing out of my bathroom and refused to look at it for a week. Low and behold this morning the number shocked me so much I had to take a picture! WHOOP WHOOP!!! :thumbup:

I am now 18 pounds from a goal that I had twenty one years ago. My sister had promised me that if I got down to under 200 pounds that she would buy me a new outfit. Fortunately, she's still willing to do that...can you say "SHOPPING TRIP"!!!!!!!:thumbup::wub::thumbup: Loving the shopping! It's so nice being able to go into a store, pick out the size and know that it's going to fit or that it's going to be a little big..Yup, I said it "BIG" hehe!!

Anyway, to all of those who may read this and feeling discouraged by your band, don't give up, just keep going back and getting fills and talking to your fill nurse, it helps.

Good luck to all! I'd love to hear from you!

Hang in there! Don't give up yet, I know it's hard. I've been in the same boat with you, it's frustrating as all get out. I thought this band was supposed to magically make the weight disappear. I'm like you I can eat anything as long as I chew it good.

Just don't give up! Call Tina and talk to her and let her know what has been going on. I know I plan on calling on Monday.

You can do this!

Happy Thanksgiving everybody! Eat healthy and stop when you're comfortable~!

I have to practice that bit of advice myself.

Yeah, the whole Thanksgiving thing is tough, it's one of those holidays that you just can't get around being around food. I've decided that I am going to work most of the day so that I don't have to be around it the entire day, just that night for family dinner. I'm planning on bringing my cute little pier one plate and having some of everything. Shhhh, don't tell Jennifer I'm even going to have a little piece of pumpkin pie. I don't plan on eating it right away after dinner but, I'm tellin ya before the night is done, this chickie is having some pie!

I figure it this way, I have to live with this band for the rest of my life. I have to be able to enjoy food like everyone else, just a lot smaller portions. I'm really going to have to focus on eating slowly though. I have a really hard time eating around people because they eat sOOOO fast! I have to eat slow or I end up getting stuck. I have 5.5cc's in my band right now and have thought about having a little tweak done after Thanksgiving to get me through to Christmas but, not sure yet.

I have started planning my meals and packing my lunches so that I don't fall back into the old habits of eating out.

Glad to hear you have lost 50 pounds that's amazing denouement! I'm so proud of you!

Crap on a cracker...I figured it out...TOM made me do it...GRRRRRR, why do we have to go through this every month it's just not fair....pout pout pout pout

I have no idea why I am so hungry...I don't think that I am physically hungry, I think it's in my head. I've made terrible food choices and have eaten way more than I am supposed to.

I'm not really sure why? I'm frustrated beyond belief...GRRRRRRRRRR:cursing:

Thanks everybody, I'm pretty excited! It's been a great day today, I went shopping and hung out with friends all day to celebrate. One more pound to go and I will have a total of 100 pounds since my very highest weight. I have only lost 37 since surgery but, lost quite a bit on my own. I'm excited to know that I won't be gaining those 37 pounds back.

I finally reached my first goal!!!!!!

I am now at the lowest weight that I have been since my freshman year of high school. I am still quite a ways from the goal my doctor has set for me(67 pounds to go:blink:) but, it's still an AMAZING feeling:thumbup:! I'm so excited!

Hope everyone else in band land is doing well, keep in touch!

Congrats on being so close to onederland!

So, as you know I went to the phyc the other day and she told me to keep a stress log in addition, she suggested a really good book that is actually now a movie called "He's just not that into you". Two chapters in; it's been one of the most informative books that I think I've ever read...There are some really great male insights to think about while reading. I must admit it has triggered my..."ah ha!" I've been hanging out with A holes all along! I've decided that there are some people in my life that I just need to walk away from. I hate losing people that I have shared time with, but for my own mental health and my own physical health I think it best. So, PEACE OUT to those men that want to date me without dating me, the relationship without the relationship kind of guys can now...K M A...

I strongly suggest that if you're a single girl trying to date that you get this book!

I started tanning at the gym, I'm the whitest white girl you've ever seen, well I used to be that is...Now I'm the reddest lobster girl you've ever seen. How can a person burn so bad after just seven minutes in a tanning bed? I had been doing the stand up bed for seven and hadn't had a problem. Yesterday I was feeling lazy and did the lay down bed and FRIED!! I just want a tan, I don't want to be a chicken fried Stacy! How does this happen?:confused:

I am so going to try to get to a size ten before January 23rd, that's the day of our work holiday party and I want to look HOT! I'm a 14 now, if I'm going to make a ten I'm going to have to hit the gym even harder than I have been. I can do it though, I have faith in myself. It's all in the numbers calories in have to be less than the calories out.

That's it for me...Have a fun weekend in band land.:confused:

I haven't lost nearly as much as I would like to have lost. I have only lost about 36 pounds since July, hey it's 36 pounds that aren't going to come back! I didn't reach my birthday goal because my fill nurse Tina told me it was an unrealistic goal and that it was better to take it slow. FRUSTRATING!!!

Pb ing is productive burping. It's where you basically bring up what you just ate in the state that it went down in....GROSS! Sliming is when it feels like something is stuck and you get this really gross slime that builds up and the only way to get rid of it is to spit it out, IT'S REALLY GROSS! Good luck on your journey Debbie

Keep your chin up, it does get better just keep going back for fills....Part of the reason they take it slow is to give you some time to adjust. You will know it when you have the right amount of fill that's for sure. I had my last fill a week ago and prior to that I could eat anything....NOW, I am full after just half of a chicken wing and less than a tablespoon of potatoes. It makes a big difference.

Well, as you may have been able to tell, I've been having some issues trying to get through a few rough times emotionally. I made an appointment with the psychologist that I had to see before the band surgery. She's great, I love her attitude and even though, she really didn't have a lot to say I feel better. She made a few suggestions that I think will be helpful. I need to be more aware of my eating and emotions. She suggested that I keep a log or a journal about my feelings and acknowledge what emotion I was actually feeling and be ok with feeling it, not try to cover it up.

I still exercise a lot, I did a two hour workout Tuesday night that left me feeling amazing! I love the way it feels to really push through a hard intense workout.

Not much else going on, hope all is well in band land.

Well, I found myself not losing any weight over the last three weeks, so I went to see Tina and got another fill yesterday. I'm feeling a little too tight, but not sure that I am. I think I just need to take my time and chew better. I'm actually full after only a few bites, but I have had the feeling of being stuck and pb'ing too.

I guess I'll wait and see if it loosens up a bit by next week. If not I guess I'll go in and have a little taken out.

How's everyone doing out there in band land? It's been crazy for me, not much time on the net lately.

WOW, it's hard to believe that I am 39 years old...seems just yesterday I was wishing for 21.

My friends had a party for me last night, HOLY BUCKETS! I will NOT forget this birthday for a while!

I'm three months into my journey and it's funny how much I've changed my personality along with my looks. A friend of mine, whom I haven't seen since before I was divorced came last night. She called me this morning and told me that she just couldn't believe the change in me. It made me feel good. That I've made so many positive changes in my life since that time.

I've been feeling a little down about not doing the right things all the time and beating myself up for every mistake I've made in the last three months, but looking back, I think I've done pretty darned good. It's not going to happen overnight.

I did learn how to make a really good sugarfree, almost fat free baked new york style cheesecake. I was playing around with my recipe because I wanted one for my birthday. It turned out AMAZING if anyone would like the recipe I'd be happy to share. Warning it takes three to four hours to make it.

That's it for today, I think it's time to crawl back in bed.

If you haven't played it...you need to play!

I bought this game on a recommendation from a friend of mine...It is HILARIOUS! I laughed so much I cried!

You have to be willing to act like an idiot, having a video camera on hand is helpful, to recapture what you miss while laughing historically.

do you believe this statement? the paradox that we want to be known and loved for who we are; but refuse to reveal ourselves because we are afraid of rejection; creates a tremendous loneliness in our lives.

I was reading a book tonight and I read this sentence and it really spoke to me. So often I hide my imperfections because of the fear of rejection. Have you ever really thought about why you were or are overweight? Is it because we fear intimacy? Do we fear letting someone get close to us? That they could reject us if they really knew the true us?

So here it goes I am opening up to you my friends on this journey with me. I'm hoping that my fear of rejection will not be confirmed and that I will be able to trust and gain a level of intimacy that eventually I will feel comfortable expressing in person.

This week has been a really BAD week for me in the food category. I've over eaten, eaten things that I know I shouldn't and eaten again when I wasn't hungry all because someone really hurt my feelings and made me angry and I didn't understand it and I'm too mad to address it with him right now. Very destructive behaviors and I am working to address that within myself, thus the reason I was reading the book.

I have to admit that I don't let people get to know the true me because I have been hurt in the past, I've given myself freely and just been walked on or disregarded as if I didn't matter, like I was nothing. I've decided that I should write a letter to the people that have done this to me. Not for them to read, but for me to destroy and let go of the feelings attached to the hurt and damage they have caused my heart.

I'm a bit frustrated as you might be able to tell from this blog. It's ok though, it's my blog and that's what it's here for right? Just getting the inner turmoil out in the open and hopefully letting some lighter and more helpful feelings in.

I'm turning 39 this weekend and I'm feeling frustrated about that too. I'm not in a meaningful relationship and I feel it's my fault for not being able to open up to a certain level of intimacy. I tried calling the phyc today, but she did not answer. Not sure if that would help, but at this point I am willing to try anything.

Ok, I'm going to sign this off and go to bed so that I don't revert back to those oh so hurtful habits.

Thanks to all of you who read this blog.

I think that you are doing the right thing by telling your doctor what is going on. They can't help if they don't know.

It's hard to develop all of the new habits we're supposed to have. Be patient with yourself. You can do it!

Last week was a little stressful and I needed to get away, so I jumped in the Jeep and took off. I ended up in Springfield at the Octoberfest. PS...Beer and the band don't work so well together.

OOPS!

It was nice to just get away and the drive was beautiful down Hwy 5. I love the fall colors.

I decided that I'm not going to weigh everyday like I have been doing...yes, I am a scale whore. I have a really busy week this week and fitting in time to work out is going to be challenging. I'm trying to formulate a game plan I already missed this weekend, unless you count the dancing and the...:thumbup:

We ate at a chinese buffet today, it wasn't so bad having the band. I took a little of my favorite things, ate one bite of each and then called it quits when I was full. Thankfully, it was only 5.99 so I didn't feel like I had wasted a lot of money.

That's about it for me, now it's time to go find something for dinner. I think it will be my favorite...Lemon parfait yogurt, YUMMY!!!!

I know this feeling...it SUCKS! All I have to say is chew, chew, chew and chew some more. Take your time and you really chew your food, it makes all the difference in the world. I get sick like that almost every time I try to eat in a hurry.

Good luck.

OH NO! I'm sorry that happened to you. Congrats on the 50 pounds gone! You will look amazing for your reunion I'm sure.

I'm having a really rough week this week. It's been crazy at work and then I found out that a friend (or someone I thought was my friend) betrayed me to a point that I doubt that I will ever speak to him again. I am so angry, so hurt, so freaking pissed off that I don't even know what to do with myself besides cry and wonder why? What was the point? Why? :thumbup:

I of course am an emotional eater and turned to the cookies the other night. I ate four and got sick...thank you band! Yesterday, I threw the cookies away something I would have never done prior to the band so YAY me:thumbup:

I over ate big time and felt like crap.

Today, I haven't over eaten, I haven't eaten cookies I took a bath and tried to read a book.

I don't know when I have ever had someone make me feel so completely used and hurt and frustrated. GRRRR GRRRR GRRRRR AND GRRR SOME MORE! I'm so angry! I know I need to calm down if it wasn't raining I'd go for a run. I think I need make an appointment with the shrink...did I just type run????:tt2::cursing::cursing::cursing::cursing::cursing:

First take a breath...

You are in bandster hell. It's the point after surgery when losing is tough. First you're hungry, second that band isn't giving you the restriction that you need. Third you're in this for the long hall it takes a while, some people don't even lose and some even gain during this time.

Just give yourself time to heal, get your fills and you will soon be losing. I had my band 7/22/09 and I didn't lose anything for five weeks! I had my fourth fill last Thursday and have lost five pounds.

You're doing great! Keep up the good work and look at those five pounds as five pounds you'll never see again.

Congrats! Great job!