RE: My husband made me cry the other day he told me "so your just giving up on our marriage"? He went over the whole statistics how relationships change after WLS.
A while back (couple of years ago) my husband jokingly made a similar comment about me losing weight and then I'd be shopping around for some kind of studly do-right guy. Which is ridiculous as he knows my "type". But his insecurity was coming out.
I just assured him that I had gone that route once (I was married before) and he was horrible and expected me to be a barbie doll trophy and became very cruel if I gained any weight.
Whereas my husband now loves me whether I am thick or thin. And not only do I love him but I am loyal to that.
I am not interested in a man (or anyone else) who only values me when I am thin! We are more than our weight or lack of.
Soooo, to address your hurt and concern, even though what he said merely reflected his concern for himself, it does need to be addressed or I fear he will undermine your efforts (even if it's unconsciencly). Assure him that you love him, your goals in losing weight are not merely vainty reasons but for HEALTH and that if he truly wants you healthly and around to BE his wife, he needs to consider this and get on board.
My husband and I have been talking more about this too and his fears now are more about the surgery and after effects and the "banded for life" time frame. So he is opening up more and more on the subject. He also agreed to go to the seminar with me on the 28th!!! So that is a victory.
I'll be praying for you and for him. Hang in there.