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I think that most of us have felt as you do ... I certainly have/do. I think we will get there in due time. As for trading addictions ... that's not always a bad thing. My new addiction is power walking. No one could have made me believe that I would be excited about power waking up at 5:00 a.m. every morning so that I can get 3 miles in before going to work. Who knew? But, I really love it. And, I can hardly wait for "winter walking". Now, I realize that because I live in L.A. it's not much of a winter, but last year I walked on mornings that were 30 degrees (or was it 40)... anyway it was COLD to me. LOL I am looking forward to bundling up in my sweats and gloves and hoodie and thermals and walking till I get warm! LOL I have though, picked up another habit that is ... hmmmm ... a little more dangerous: SHOPPING! EEEEKKK ... I am a shopping maniac! I love it. I have to be careful not to let it get too out of hand (it's already "out of hand"). But I soooo prefer shopping over eating. I consider that a good thing. LOL For example, Saturday I got up at 6 a.m. and walked 3.5 miles, then went to physical therapy (it's more exhasting than walking), then went to the County Fair and walked for around 4 hours. On Sunday I was dead dog tired, but I went to church ... and had to stop at the mall because there was a sale AND I had a coupon -- bought 3 pairs of shoes. Got a GREAT deal. When I got home all I could do is eat lunch and take a nap! But, before banding I would have stayed at home in front of the TV and munched the day away, napping intermittently. I like this better. All the best to all us "losers"! ~Fran

@Corrigan: LMAO!! ("watch the feathers fly") I agree with the others ... do your homework. Research and ask questions of your doc. I have been banded a little over 2 years and I couldn't be happier -- and I happen to be a slow loser. Yes, I've read about a number of people with complications, but what I have learned about the band in the past 2+ years is that Lapband is the thinking persons WLS. I say this because it is so different from GBS -- the weight does not just "fall off" days after surgery (for most, not all) If you do not learn how to work the band you can easily end up with complications. The band is not for everyone. From your description in your original post, it does sound like a good surgery for you, but you must decide this for yourself. Just be sure to do your homework. I believe that reading this forum is good too. Here, you get the good, the bad, and the ugly ... and everything in between. I hope everything goes well for you, whatever you decide.

I went in the hospital once in an emergency so I did not have my CPAP with me, of course. The hospital provded me with one during my stay. I had to tell them what my pressure setting was and that was it.

I really like the way your were proactive about this. I truly get the part about having to pay for tests that you don't really need. Unfortrunately, I do have sleep apnea and I am having horrible problems keeping my mask on at night. I am now(voluntarily, but not happily) incurring costs for neurologist + testing (co-pays), endocrinologist (co-pays and possibly some part of the biopsy cost) and next I will see a pulmonologist of MY choice. I have had 4 sleep studies. The only effective result I had was with the first one in 2004. Good work on your part! All the best to you on your lap band journey! ~Fran

Thank you for your thoughtful reply, Jacqui. I guess it's true what they say: "opposites attract". LOL You and your husband sound quite the dichotomy. But I can also see how your relationship could be (and obviously is) really complimentary. ~Fran

Take heart vhayes, there is great hope for continued success. As others have said, you are NOT a failure. And there's more good news. I was banded in June 2009. I had back surgery (L3, L4, L5 fusion) in July 2004. I was diagnosed with spinal stenosis (arthritis of the spine) in hmmmm 2008 (I think). I also have arthritis in my knees and a few other places. I am currently in physical therapy once a week because I want to "kick up" my exercise routine. Yes, you heard me right "exercise routine". I don't know how extensive or restrictive your surgery is, but I hope that I can encourage you in the exercise area with my story. Even with the things I mentioned above, I power walk 3 miles virtually every morning before work, AND I have started walking in the evenings as well. I often get a mile or two on the weekends as well. I feel great! What my ortho said is, my spinal stenosis is not going to improve and that after back surgery I will never run again (which is only partialy true because they have a "G-Trainer" at my PT which can take up to 80% of your body weight off ... so I may run again yet ); and that strenuous exercise will likely inflame my spinal stenosis. BUT, he also said that if I build up the muscles around my spine I will be able to do much, much more because the muscle will support the spine - hence the physical therapy. I know my limitations and, sometimes I over step, but when I do I take a break for a day or two to let my spine recover, then I gently return to my routine. Exercise is an important part of weight loss for most of us. Talk to your ortho about re-introducing exercise into your life. Also research your surgery to see what you can and cannot do in the long run. I have trouble doing the weights because my spinal stenosis is mostly in my neck. My PT told me that the answer is to do my weights laying down. It will keep the pressure off my neck while still working my arms. I am thrilled. Remember, where there is will, there is a way. We are here to support you. Good luck and God bless!

YAY! stateofzen! Congrats on your "size 8"! Wow ... part of me can hardly wait to get there and part of me is a little scared. The scared part is all the sagging skin that it would bring ... but hey ... I'd rather get there than not. LOL! So, I am on my way! Congrats to all who have made it there. I love, love, love Ann Taylor! Keep up the good work. ~Fran

If only everyone were as focused and self-assured as you Jachut, therapist would be out of business ... and that would be a good thing. But, alas, we are all so very different and sometimes we may need someone to talk to about one thing or another ... and talking with your girlfriends isn't always the best thing to do. I honestly believe that your ability to focus and to overcome the hurdles in your life by sheer will is likely the reason you did so well with the band and throughout your cancer episode. I applaud you for your strength and courage and I am thrilled for you that your cancer is gone. And I wish you good health throughout your life. Since you "wouldn't consider" therapy I assume you haven't been to therapy, correct? I assure you it is more than just changing "your thought patterns and responses". I am in no way suggesting that you you try therapy, not at all. You have shown that you don't need therapy -- losing all your weight and becoming toned, fit and healthy; and conquering cancer with an attitude that is truly admirable. But, when my best friend and love of my life died in a plane crash (a plane that he was piloting), there was nothing I could tell myself to make myself stop crying EVERYDAY. Nothing I could tell myself to convince myself that my heart had not literally broken in two. I could not burden my friends with my sadness day after day, week after week, month after month. I saw a grief counselor to help me through the time. The therapist helped me work through my grief. I needed a place to go with my grief because it was palpable and I would not do that to my friends - they had done enough for me. The therapy was invaluable to me. I didn't have to go forever or every week ... just when the pain of the loss was too great for me to bear. Time is the only thing that heals the wounds of loss, but during that time we can do a lot of psychological and physical (i.e., eating over the emotion) damage. My choice was to seek therapy to minimize the damge to myself. As I said in my previous post, even with therapy, ultimately you have to put-up or shut-up. It's just that sometimes therapist can introduce you to ideas that you would have never thought of when you are wrapped up in your issue/misery. You see, some people are not raised in an environment that gives them tools for living a healthy life. You apparently were, and I am happy for you. But not everyone has the tools (or even knows where to obtain them) and often a therapist can help you get those tools, and teach you how to use them. Again, I respect your stance on therapy and I am not suggesting in any way that everyone needs therapy ... not even everyone with food issues. But surely you would agree that the anorexic that is near death cannot simply 'recognize that they need to eat more and do it'? Surely you understand that their problem is much deeper and requires outside help. Either way, I acknowledge that this forum is a place for us all to express our opinions and I respect that our's differs. I just felt the need to respond, no disrespect intended. ~Fran

I am an emotional eater and therapy has helped a lot. I see an obesity specialist so our main focus is how food/eating effects my daily life. I started seeing this therapist 8 months before my surgery and 3 months before I saw my doc about getting the band. I started therapy early because I wanted to be sure that WLS was the right decision for me. Over the years I have done it all from liposuction (in my youth, paid cash -- pretty much a waste of money), to OA, to WW, to .. you name it. Physical hunger was never a problem for me -- my problem is "all in my head". Therapy has really helped me because I am willing. I had to stop telling my therapist "oh, I'm not really good at that ... so it may not work". I made up my mind that doing it "my way" hadn't gotten me anywhere so I started saying "ok, I'll give it my best effort". The bottom line about therapy is that you can learn all the "why's and wherefore's" about your behaviors; but in the end you have to put up or shut up if you are going to get better -- at whatever the problem may be. Also, all therapist are not good therapist. If you don't "click" with your therapist, it's okay to try another. One last thing ... a good therapist never forces you to talk about your feelings. A good therapist gains your trust and eventually you want to tell him/her your feelings. I love my therapist, she is great! I wish you the best. ~Fran

Muffin, I am so sorry you were treated so badly. I understand that many of us have a hard time standing up for ourselves after being psychologically battered by socieity for years because of our weight. But I have a news flash for you, we are both 55 years old and let me tell you that even though menopause has a lot of negative side effects, it also has a few good ones. For me, "the pause" as I like to call it, has made me a take-no-prisoners kind of person. I don't take crap off of ANYONE. Not my doctors, not my bosses, not my friends, not my children, or the men I date. I suggest you take advantage of your age ... there's more to being 55 than AARP eligibility! LOL If you are not a confrontational person I would write a letter to the doctor about the NP -- and don't mince words! I have a 10 cc band and I am at least at 7.5. It is different for each person. This NP does not have a clue! I agree with the person that says you should refuse to see this particular NP ever again. Also, the band is not in place to NOT serve a purpose. If you do not have restriction (there are those that do not believe in "restriction" but I KNOW I have it, BIG TIME) OR a decrease in appetite then what on earth is the point of having the band? YOU ARE NOT FAILING YOUR BAND. Plzzzzz do not listen to anyone that tells you that, it will only serve to depress you and continue a downward spiral. Getting more Fluid in your 10 cc band WILL NOT IN AND OF ITSELF cause slippage. Seriously?? That's absurd. Read more posts and you will find people with 8+ in their 10cc bands. Muffin, you are going to have to be the advocate for your health. No one is going to take care of you, but you! Take charge of your life, your eating habits and your exercise. Better eating habits will improve your blood pressure AND your diabetes. I was off diabetes meds within months of getting my band and went from taking 3 BP meds to only taking one (which I don't want to give up because it has a diurectic which helps with any Water retention I may have). Do your own research on diabetes and how to lower your BG levels. There is a great forum: "diabetesforum.com", the people there are very knowlegeable and helpful. When you return for your next lapband appointment be armed with knowledge. And, if anyone yells at you ... wait until they are done and then calmly (if possible) LET THEM HAVE IT! You have support here on this forum. Keep reading, we are here for you. Ultimately, you may need to look into changing docs, but that should be a last resort because I hear it is a difficult task. All the best to you on your journey. ~Fran

Thanks so much Stateofzen. You are an inspiration to me also.

The first thing I did was let go of the thing that I could do nothing about: THE PAST! You messed up, it's done. YOU WENT BACK TO THE GYM! AND YOU STILL LOST WEIGHT!!! YAY FEFE!!!! Are you kidding??? The way you talked about all you had eaten I just KNEW you had GAINED weight -- but you didn't. Does it make you feel good to beat yourself up about something that you cannot change (i.e., past behavior)? I doubt it. There are enough people out there that LOVE to step on us overweight folks. Don't join them and do it to yourself ... plzzzzz. The reality for me is that if I want to lose weight I have to do what it takes, WHATEVER that is -- it means getting up at 5 a.m. to go to the park and power walk 3 miles before going to work, it means cutting carbs, not eating a lot of sweets. I WANT to lose the weight so ... I do what it takes. For the past 3 weeks I have been going from specialist to specialst. One week I'm told I possibly have brain damage, the next week I'm told I have a mass on my thyroid, the next week I am told I have "many" masses on my thyroid and I have a biopsy done with NO anesthetic! Then I have to wait a week to find out if I have cancer. WTF???!!!!! Yes, I tried to eat over it cuz I'm an emotional eater, but, my band gets tighter when I am stressed so no binging for ME! Dang it!!! Yesterday the doc called me as I was driving home from work. The news was good, the mass(es) are benign! I didn't go home, I went to a walking path and power walked 3.6 miles! Don't let life's stresses destroy you. "Doing what doesn't work --- doesn't work." We KNOW how to get fat(ter). With the band we can help ourselves stop the madness. GIVE YOURSELF CREDIT for the GOOD you did for yourself: YOU WENT BACK TO THE GYM. Smile at yourself and pat yourself on the back because we both know that there was a time with neither of us would have consider doing something healthy instead of our usual "eating over ANYTHING" pattern. YOU CAN DO THIS. I am proud of you ... please be proud of yourself. YAY FE FE!!!! We are here to support you. ~Fran

I told my PCP that I knew he was opposed to WLS but that I had decided that I wanted to get the lapband and would he refer me. He looked at me and said "I'm not opposed to WLS. I know a great doctor to send you to." ... and he did. Unfortunately, the doc he sent me to - who was really great - was not on my insurance so I had to find another. Don't let your doc dissuade you if this is what you really want to do. She doesn't have to carry the weight around, you do. Several years ago when I had a different PCP who left the practice and I was left to see one of the other docs in the practice, I told her that I was at my wits end with my weight and couldn't she recommend something to help me lose weight. She sat there looking every bit like JABBA THE HUT and said, "You'll just have to push away from the table." I didn't let her see me cry, but when I got to my car that's what I did. Had I not been feeling so absolutely awful about myself I would have said to her, "Is that what YOU'RE doing????" Do what is right for YOU. Don't allow her to judge you. Remember that once she refers you, you won't have to see her. Also, you should check your insurance's website for their exact requirements for the surgery. Your doc may not know what she's talking about because it varies depending on the plan your employer has chosen. Good luck to you. We are here to support you. ~Fran

Thanks much, Cindy!

Thank you pinklily!

Three weeks ago my neurologist told me that I had a "mass" on my thyroid and that I should see my endocrinologist. A week after that I was lying on a table having needles stuck in by throat (the biopsy). It wasn't fun or pleasant and it was done without any form of anesthetic because my endo said "it won't be as bad as you think". Easy for him to say since he was the one piercing my throat with a needle (again and again and again) and I was the one being stuck. But, alas, it was true ... not nearly as bad as I thought it would, but I guarantee I would not volunteer to have it done again. I left his office a bit traumatized (I wasn't actually expecting to have the biopsy that day ...), but not bad. He said it would take a week to get the results back. I did really well over the holiday weekend -- on the conscious level. My band gets tight when I am stressed so I had a hard time eating, but I could live with that. I was thinking positive and praying and moving along with my life. Then on Tuesday morning after my walk, I came home ... laid across my bed and started thinking. Big mistake! I started crying and couldn't stop. Geeeez I thought, I have been doing all this stuff to get healthy and the Big "C" is going to take me out!!??? WTH???!!! I pulled myself together and went to work -- only cried half the day. I got myself together and yesterday went okay. As I was driving home from work yesterday evening my phone rang ... it was my endo. He said he had great news, said that the mass was benign ... that we would have to check it regularly, but that I was good to go! I was so happy and relieved. Now, before banding that would be a reason to Celebrate -- with cake, or Cookies, or ice cream. In the 2 years since banding a LOT has changed in my life. I don't just "look" different, I also "think" and "act" differently. For about 3 months I have been changing into "comfy" clothes before leaving work so that I don't run errands, grocery shop, etc. in heels. YUCK! When I got the great news from my doc I drove a walking path near my home that sits high on a hill, with a view of the ocean and the sunset -- and I walked, and walked, and walked. Sweat was pouring from my face ... and everywhere else. When I was done the sun had set and I had walked FOUR miles! YAY!! So, together with the 3 miles I had walked that morning before work, I had 7 miles under my belt for the day! Pre-banding that would not have happened. Between my band and my therapist I am emerging a totally new person and I LOVE the new me! This lapband journey is a many faceted journey indeed! I LOVE MY BAND!! ~Fran

Elaine, "Alex" is one of the board administrators. If you want to send him a message a simple way would be to go the "post-op" forum where you will see he started a post about the "green zone". Click on his name and it will take you to his page and then click on "send me a message". Voila! Hope this helps. ~Fran

I have BCBS of California. You should be able to go to their website and see exactly what their requirements are, take a look ... it might be helpful. ~F

Definitely!!

Good question! I love that I can once again cross my legs. That I no longer feel "rolls" when I run my hand down my back to my hips. That I can see my curves. That I can shop at "regular" stores. That I can power walk 3 miles and then go to work. etc., etc., etc. ... LOVE MY BAND! ~Fran

That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard! OF COURSE IT IS PRE-EXISTING, no one becomes obese overnight!!! I understand your frustration. Perhaps you should contact the benefits department at your job. Whenever the insurance company says crazy things to me that's what I do. I let them fight with the insurance co for me. Don't give up. The person you spoke with at the insurance co doesn't seem very well informed. Good luck to you. ~Fran

Hang in there Tan_ya, the lapband will probably make your diabetes a "thing of the past" in no time. Try to remember that you are 24 ... that makes you an adult. Don't worry about how your family members are going to react. You don't actually HAVE to tell them if it makes you anxious. But I will say this -- I am older and have kids close to your age -- no one is going to treat you like an adult until you accept that you ARE an adult. You are about to have lapband surgery and YOU made that decision for your life. That's an adult decision, remember that. Good luck to you. We are here to support you. It's going to be a great journey! ~Fran

I have been shopping like a crazy woman! I try to stop but, to no avail. LOL ... nothing expensive, I like to buy cute exercise clothes ... yoga pants, pretty tops ... good bargains from Old Navy. I try not to buy new work clothes ... but , when I see something -- on sale, well ... can't stop myself. I absolutely LOVE buying pretty bras and panties! OMG! Okay ... my breast are still big ... "G" cup, some "F's". But I can wear a 38 or 40. I have so many pretty colors, blue, hot pink, red, purple, lime green, tan, caramel, black, white, yellow, etc. I love it! And I have panties to match all of them! So much funnnn!! Yes, I need to stop shopping because I still have quite a bit more weight to lose, but I like feeling "pretty" in the meantime. Tell you what, hopetolose ... I'll stop shopping if you will. LOLLLL! Enjoy! ~Fran

Good for you, making the decision that is right for you. From all that you have said, I would agree, you are not ready. I would also venture a guess that the fear that keeps you from having the surgery is identical to the fear that keeps you obese. A real "catch 22". Someone above mentioned that the band cannot help the emotional eater. I beg to differ. I am totally an emotional eater, I rarely feel physically hungry, but the band has changed my life in the best possible way. For the emotional part I see an obesity specialist therapist. The band strongly reminds me when I absentmindedly try to eat my fears/emotions away. During this next year you might consider seeing a therapist about your weight issues. You may find that you don't need the surgery at all and that you can lose the weight on your own. That was not the case for me, the therapy gives me tools to manage my emotional eating but my head still goes crazy sometimes -- so glad I have my band. Also, it appears that I may have Hoshimoto's thyroiditis -- I will find out for sure on Friday. It is an autoimmune disease. It is not curable but it is treatable. Still, I am so glad I have my band, imagine the anxiety I am feeling not knowing for sure whether I have this disease ... having the band helps me not to overeat (try as I might while I await the blood test and biopsy on Friday. Not fitting Hollywood's image of what a woman should look like (i.e., size 2, or even 0) is not a bad thing, in fact it is good because the vast majority of women are a "normal" size. Heck, my bones are bigger than a size 2. LOL But to be obese is neither normal or healthy; and there's a reason why we overeat. For some it helps to find out why and work to change it. I hope you can find the best solution for you. I wish you the best. ~Fran

3 bites per meal? ROTFLMAO!!!! Imagine me rolling on the floor laughing hysterically cuz that's what I'm doing at the thought of eating 3, 4, 5, or even 6 bites per meal. It never happened -- not for me at least. I also never expected it to happen. I could not possibly walk 3+ miles every morning before work on a 3 bite B, L and D. I, like betheboo, eat a LOT less than I did before banding (though I think that I could eating even less if I didn't overthink the idea of malnutrition. LOL) And, I don't think that having the band actually makes me feel "full" unless I overeat -- at which point I not only feel stuffed, but I also feel like the food is coming up through my esophagus -- and it does. This thing, being banded, is really so much more about "the mind" than is advertised. It's about changing your thinking about food and what it really means to your life. I have never been a person that suffered from physical hunger, I am a head hungry person. So, my journey takes me down the path of learning not to eat over emotion (good or bad). The band helps because when I am so stressed that I can't think rationally it helps me to stop eating and realize that food is not going take my stress away (or any other emotion for that matter). I see an obesity specialist therapist. She helps me understand the role food plays in my life and gives me tools to change my thinking. It the way you think that makes the difference. I don't diet - I make better food choices because I want to lose the weight and that, plus exercise is the only way to get there -- for me. Keep getting fills and stop being so hard on yourself for not being satisfied with 3 bites. (That still makes me laugh.) Give yourself credit for getting this far. You're doing a great job! ~Fran