juliegeraci

Sorry to hear about the infidelity. It can be overcome so be patient. My husband told me this a.m. that you don't change when you lose weight. My physical attraction to him has definitely changed that is for sure. I daydream about finding someone healthier that can live my lifestyle with me. I dream of better sex and everything. I haven't been in love with him in probably 5 years.

How much food can you consume at one time. I am losing quite nicely on 1-3oz of protein at a time. The only time I PB is if I eat too fast. On a good day I can intake 1/2 to 3/4 cup in about 30-40 minutes. On a tight day its more like a few bites. Doc says to eat more on my loose day. I do follow the Weight Watchers core program which is high protein, low carb, fruits and vegies. Also, how many calories a day are you intaking? You should be at 800-1k, no more than 1200 a day. Let me know how your restriction is too. Julie

I was told it takes 6-9 months to go back. With that being said make sure you are wearing your under garmet 24x7. If it doesn't go back in 6-9 months you may need a tummy tuck. Julie

Good for you. I told my husband that I have changed now that I am thinner and he said I haven't changed at all. What does it mean when you no longer like the same things, feel better about yourself and are no longer attracted to your husband? BTW this has been going on for about 4 years. My transition started way before being banded.

16 more to go. Almost there.

I love my husband like a brother but nothing more than that. That is why it is so hard on me. Now that I am feeling better about myself I day dream of meeting someone I am more compatible with in a sexual way, connected way. He is also emotionally abusive to the children so that is another subject. We are going to go to marriage couseling again. We have just about done everything, This is the second time in 3 years for couseling.

I would call today. Typically 2-3 days later and it doesn't loosen up is a bad sign.

I am on the verge of a divorce and I wanted to find out if anyone else has been divorced after being banded? Please tell me your story.

Thanks for the input. My husband has my name tatootted all over his body if you know what I mean. He is great if I was 80 and needed my diaper changed. As far as romantic love we have some serious sex issues. He has errectial dysfunction and needs to be on meds to last more than 1 minute. This is of huge concern of mine because I am very sexual. The affair didn't help with this matter of course. The kids will be okay but I need hin to change, I just am not sure what to do other than therapy. I told my family today what was going on so that is good. i am mostly concerned about my older son who has dabbked in drugs. I meet his new counselor on Friday, My continued committment are my kids and my sobriety first (alcoholism) coupled with some individual therapy and marriage counseling, This is a huge breaking point for me. I almost left my husband 3 years ago so it is startng all over agai but I am much more serious this time.

Hi Nancy, it is really bad. I woke up this a.m. at 7a.m. having him yelling the f* word left and right to my 7 year old. This is going to stop soon. It is not healthy.

Thanks Nancy. I had a long discussion with a friend of mine today about how unhealthy my husband is compared to me and how it has affected our relationship. I work for a company that has great mental health benefits. I will call them tomorrow to get with a good therapist. I am not the same person I was 10 years agoi when I was married. The infidelity was just a small part of what has been going on for quite a few years. My 16 year old son yesterday told me my husband should have never been a father because he is so verbally abusive. He doesn't treat me that way, just the kids. It is the way he was raised. To scream, yell and swear at the kids. I will keep you all informed. Please keep the emails coming.

Therapy for myself might be a good idea. Its hard too because I still have feelings for the other man even though we can't be together. I went to confession during my marriage encounter weekend and the priest was so kind to me. he must hear this every day . He suggested that I meet with a priest at my local church too.

I too am an 11. The only thing I noticed was the shoes aren't as tight now. I tried on some sandles I have owned for a few years and they fit me across the strap much looser.

I went from 285 to 216 and went from size C to B. I will be barely a B when I get to goal.

I've been having trouble in my marriage for about 4 years. I love my husband dearly but I don't have a real love connection with him. They say you can stay married if you are just friends, but it is very painful for me because I can't get to that level I want to. I don't want to make love anymore. It feels like I am kissing my brother. I have one teenager by a previous marriage who lives with us. I also have a 7 year old. My husband is a less that perfect father. He is a screamer and has difficulty disciplining the children. It really affects me. We have been in marriage counseling before and even did a Marriage Encounter retreat last year through the Catholic Church. I did have an affair 3 years ago so that too affected my marriage. My husband is a goof man its just that magically soulful connection is what I want. Am I dreaming or what? It is so painful for me because he is such a hard worker.

I lost 60 lbs at my 2 year mark, probably 50 the first year. I am about 20-25 lbs from goal still. It sounds like you may want to get another fill especially if you can eat high quantities of foods. I do the WW core program and am losing 1-3 lbs per week following that. I can only eat a couple oz of protein at a time so I have perfect restriction. How much at one time do you eat? 1/2 cuo? 1 cup? If you eat more like 1 cup and really aren't losing then you neef a fill. I eat 1/4 to 1/2 cup at a time. It took me 40 minutes yesterday to eat 3 oz of chicken and about 1/2 cup of salad.

Thank you all for your posts. I meet with the 2nd PS next week to see what he has to say. I think I will get at least 2 more opinions before this is over with.

Dr. Schulman, I have been through a lot. I am not happy with my tummy tuck or thigh lift and spent $20k for it. I met with a new surgeon yesterday that definitely said my surgeon was not skilled enough for a bariatric patient. He would have done an incision down my stomach and bikini line, starting first with lippo 3 month preop. I don't even want to talk about my thigh lift because it is such a disaster. Do you know of any top notch surgeons in the San Francisco bay area? I live 60 miles South of there. Julie

I am glad this turned out so nicely. It is so nice to have a support systme isn't it.

I had an extended tummy tuck on 4/21 with a tigh lift. I am no happy with the results whatsoever. I met with a new PS yesterday that told me my surgeon didn't have enoug skill to perform the tummy tuck and thigh lift for bariatrics patients. Instead of just making a bikini line incision and removing only the pannus, he would have started out with lipo suction first them waited 3 months and done a complete vertical and horizontal incision to remove the pannus and the upper abdominal fat. As far as the thigh lift goes, what a joke. I see now difference whatsoever. He said the only way to remove that fat would have been to make the incision from the top of the thigh to the knee. My doctor is terrible. I spent $20 for nothing. To make matters worse when I asked him if he knew of my doctor through teaching at Stanford he had no knowledge whatsoever. So I think its all a big lie. I have an email into my aunt to try and find a medical malpractice attorney. If I get enough bariatric surgeons involved I think I can win. Please let me know if I am handling this correctly. All my surgeon wants to do is lippo me some more and take out some skin. The other surgeon said I would definitely not get the full results I am looking for! Julie

Girlfriend, you are not even close. PM me if you want more details. I eat 1-2 oz at a time. It took me litterally 45 minutes today to get down 3 oz of protein and about 1/2 cup of salad. My doctor said with good restriction 1/2 egg is enough, yikes!

My doctor said there are 3 types of tightness. Tightness to liquids, which is not good. Tightness to solids which is okay if you don't mind mushies and tightness to mushies which means you need a slight unfill. If you can live on a softer diet and lose its up to you to stay there. Personally speaking I like to consume 1-3 oz of solid protein and a little vegies to get full with PB. Typically takes me 20-30 minutes to do so. I am an expert in this matter as I have had over 20 fills and unfills in just over 2 years. There is a very fine line between being filled too much and not enough so you need to work with the band and your surgeon to find the balance. PM me if you want to chat more. I help a lot of people with fickle bands.b

Girlfriend I feel for you. If you can eat 1-3 oz at a time or no more than 1/2 cup of food you have good restriction. If you can eat 1 cup and still lose no worries, stick to that. For me its less. It took me 45 minutes to eat a small chicken breast and about `1/2 to 3/4 cup of salad today and I was fine for almost 3 hours. I like to be tight and I typically lose 1-2 lbs so that is good. You just have to see how you do with the PBing and stuff like that. If I eat too much or too fast I am in trouble. Last night I ate 1 tablespoon or rice, 3 slices of zuchinni and about 1-2 oz of chicken okay. It took me about 30 minutes. No PB.

Nuts are actually really good for you. Try just a small handfull of almonds 8-10 when you crave them or carbs and they will make a world of difference.

I PM'd you so please answer back. I started at 320 and know exactly what you are going through.