missnikki

:update:

:happybday2: Ok…my birthday is 6 days after my surgery :biggrin1: and I have been invited to go out to eat and for some drinks by several people who don’t know I am having the surgery. I just tell them that I already have plans and maybe next time. I am a little disappointed that I won’t be able to celebrate my birthday as I have before, but that is also a good thing. But believe me I will celebrate the weekend before the surgery, I just won’t over do it. Seems like I am getting a lot of support from the people I have told and they are just as excited as I am. I am just so thankful that I have this opportunity and things are going in the right direction.

Ok, I am really ready to have this done. I chose the lap band surgery for my own reasons. I have been asked by my mom if I wanted this instead of bypass surgery, and no matter how many times she asks, the answer will remain the same...YES. My intentions for this is not to loose the weight fast so I don't have to work as hard. I am not looking for a quick fix. Nothing about this is easy. I have thought about this long and hard and this is what I want. It took me months of research and reading to come to this decision and with the help of this web site and the people on it, I feel that I am making the right decision for me...not someone else. I know that my mom loves me to death and she wants the best for me, but this is what I want. I have the determination to see this thru and I will, one day at a time.:biggrin1:

:update:

Well, I found out yesterday that my results from my Upper GI was A-OK , and I am scheduled for surgery May 10th :clap2:. I am so excited, this is going to be the best birthday present ever (May 16th). I look forward to starting a whole new chapter in my life!

I guess for me the decision to take the step to getting banded was easy. I have always been comfortable in my own skin, I've never had a problem with ME. BUT SOMETHINGS MUST CHANGE. I have been over weight for so long I can't remember. Having loving people in your life who do not judge you, only try to help, has made me the person I am, it has helped me to be strong. Being "fat" in this day and age is like social suicide. People look at you different and if you don't have thick skin, or if you are not secure within yourself, it can tend to get to some people. I know for myself, even though I am comfortable with myself, there is always something that can break you down a little. Like, going to see a play and not being able to fit comfotable in the seat, or being some where and feeling that you are the biggest person in the room, or going to the store with your "thin" friends and feeling lost because you can't fit anything. I recently came to a revelation about myself...I substitute clothes for accessories...Let me explain...if I go to a store and I can't find anything, or go into a store that doesn't carry my size, I tend to focus on other things like shoes, sunglasses, jewlery, purses, things that I don't have to worry about if I look fat in it. So you can imagine how many pairs of shoes I have. But the funny thing is I didn't realize this, or maybe I knew it all along just didn't admitt it, until I started this whole process. Since my insurance wouldn't cover the surgery, I'm having to come out of pocket. I've had problems trying to get some test done, but I go in for my Upper GI tommorow. This has never been soley an image thing for me, health issuses have played a major part in this, but I can't wait to look different.