SomeBigGuy

I know its kind of nuanced, but I've noticed that it's been easier telling people about it after the surgery than it was before. I guess people felt like they needed to talk me out of it before it happened, whereas afterwards, they've been more accepting or just dismissive with minimal argument.
I've had a few people sound like what everyone's mentioned above, like "oh, so you couldn't do it on your own? You're fat and weak and always will be". I agreed with them, like what @ms.sss said, and they may have one more quip, but the good news is I haven't talked to them since! It made me realize they were always talking trash about me and everyone else they know so they can stay on their high horse in their mind, and the surgery really didn't change anything about them. Walking away from them turned into a win for me afterall haha. Holiday gatherings will be awkward next year, but at least I'm not overwhelmed by my previously chronic issues with diabetes and asthma like I was a few months ago!

It seems like only telling a select amount of people is the way to go - something that I will be following from now on. How are you feeling about the prospect of losing so much? I feel so out of body with it all! I know my surgery isn't until May (hopefully), but I feel so impatient and as if this body isn't mine!
That makes a lot of sense

This is super encouraging! I want to go home that day. lol Hospitals are not comfortable!

I would say it would depend on what time of day you had your surgery. i had mine done in the afternoon and I most certainly could not have gone home the same day.

In 2015 I had the sleeve in the morning and went home that afternoon.

Yes, I had my surgery Dec. 4th and I was able to leave as soon as I came out of anesthesia and could have a conversation. The gas pain was brutal but the only way for it to leave your body is to move. And you heal much faster with more movement I noticed. You’ll be just fine!

It's hard when it comes from family members, but I think its inevitable because every family and circle of friends has "that a**h***". If they're the kind of person the judge someone for the weight loss, they were already judging before the weight loss. Take pride in knowing that you live rent free in their head tormenting them
As for you, just keep up the good work! People who haven't experienced it don't realize the work that is still required, nor the pain/discomfort that is experienced in the weight loss surgery process. Especially for people who's metabolism is just naturally geared toward not eating much or staying small. To them, they falsely believe that since it is so hard for them to gain weight by forcing themselves to eat more, then you must have voluntarily forced yourself to be overweight. They don't realize how foolish that concept sounds because they've never walked in your shoes. If they don't choose to make the effort to understand, they never will.
It is hard brushing it off from people that are close, but as I mentioned earlier about living rent free in others' minds, don't let them dwell in your head. Evict them and go on about your day!

Thank you for your comment.
It's definitely the phrase "not having the willpower" that cuts the deepest if I'm honest. It's as if all the struggles I've had during my life with my weight weren't enough! Surgery isn't the easy way out, I know that and I've not even had mine yet. Its absolutely life-altering, and as you say, takes willpower in itself to stick to it afterwards!
I will keep the surgery to myself for the most part, it was just such an unexpected comment!

Oh I'm sure I live rent free in lots of people's heads just because I'm a bigger girl 🤣
The 'logic' of some of these people never fails to astound me. I think at the end of the day, people are always going to have something to say, but their opinions have 0 impact on my life!
I just know for sure that when I'm losing weight, there will be something else they have to say!
Thank you for your words of wisdom!

It's hard when it comes from family members, but I think its inevitable because every family and circle of friends has "that a**h***". If they're the kind of person the judge someone for the weight loss, they were already judging before the weight loss. Take pride in knowing that you live rent free in their head tormenting them
As for you, just keep up the good work! People who haven't experienced it don't realize the work that is still required, nor the pain/discomfort that is experienced in the weight loss surgery process. Especially for people who's metabolism is just naturally geared toward not eating much or staying small. To them, they falsely believe that since it is so hard for them to gain weight by forcing themselves to eat more, then you must have voluntarily forced yourself to be overweight. They don't realize how foolish that concept sounds because they've never walked in your shoes. If they don't choose to make the effort to understand, they never will.
It is hard brushing it off from people that are close, but as I mentioned earlier about living rent free in others' minds, don't let them dwell in your head. Evict them and go on about your day!

So since losing 65 pounds since surgery Sept 13 2022, people say you lost weight?Then if I say, yes I had sleeve surgery, they say stupid $h!t like, you could have lost it without having surgery…Well, if that was the case would I have been overweight for 18 years out of 36? Or you didn’t really need surgery… 🙄 Tell that to the three bottles of pressure pills, I was on and my blood pressure was still too high!
I don’t understand why people feel it’s their right to tell you their stance on YOUR body and YOUR health??! But, I don’t see a lot of judgement from people in my community when women go get bbl’s and Lipo. People REALLY think that they know what it’s like to be obese. They act like I cheated. My daughter who is 18, (away at school), said but you kinda did cheat! I said how is being nauseous every other day, taking Vitamins, not being able to eat anything I want and working out cheating? I said it was just a kickstart. She said well, she never really thought of it that way.
I think people think you go get bariatric surgery because they are lazy and want an easy way out. There is no easy way out of obesity. The surgery doesn’t change your mindset. You still battle with food at times. It’s like I want to do something to inform people that, just because your obese, that doesn’t mean your lazy. If you were dying and the doctors do a surgery to save your heart or kidneys, then does that mean you cheated? Bariatric surgery CAN and HAS saved peoples lives. Including mine! Why is it still such a stigma around it?!

Exactly why I didn't tell many people beforehand. I think 5 people knew I was having it done, not including my parents. They all found out after, and I still haven't told people (family/friends) that I have had it done, if anyone asks about my weight loss then I will say something.

We had a company function in December and I was the talk of the event. I didn't go last year so this was the first time a lot of people saw me since the WLS. I could tell that people were talking about me and many of them came over to say hi and ask me how I managed to lose the weight. I guess everyone had "lose weight" in their 2024 resolutions. I gave them the "eating healthy and cycling" answer and even showed them photos of my mountain bike.
A lot of them reminded me of how huge I was before and that they were really concerned etc. This was the first time I'm hearing these comments which I assume were always made behind my back. Then they started talking the same about other people who need to lose weight calling them fat and make jokes about them. I was not amused and couldn't help it but telling them to stop. People can be really mean. You don't know what those people are going through and was struggles and problems do they have. Just because you are skinny doesn't make you a better person.
Have you had a similar experience?

I'd ask her is she's recently had a stroke or if she's just always been a rude cow (or another c word, if you'd rather). You do not have to justify yourself, explain your reasons, or educate anyone. What you choose to do for your own health is between you and your doctor. If she continues to make unwelcome comments about your personal business, feel free to tell her what you think of her poor taste in clothing, garish eye makeup, or whatever else you'd like to "helpfully" point out as being wrong with her, until she realizes it's no longer open season on fat people.

Hi all,
I am glad I’m not the only one having issues.
I haven’t had steak in 16 months. A month ago I was woken by my husband as I thought his arm was a big ice juicy steak🤣
Cat you could be gaining muscle and that’s why the weight doesn’t look different on scales. But your measurements do. The surgeon also said when you go to soft diet/full diet you can have a stall. But also Fluid intake plays a part.

Some Guy you are doing a great job. Screw what others think. Sarcasm is the way to go.
meisha tell them how much you’ve lost overall. As that is when your weight loss journey started. Some people don’t know I had the partial sleeve. But I went in for hernia repair august 2022 and ended up with the Partial sleeve cause of stomach damage. So mine was a bonus and a kick start to reality.

Me……When I had my 8wk post appt we had talked about the pain I was in and not stomaching soft foods and how I might end up having gastric bypass…….
Well I ended up in hospital NYE. I couldn’t drink/eat or even swallow my own saliva without excruciating pain. Turns out I had a perforation in my oesophagus and stomach with a lot of inflammation. We had to go on a drip as I was also very dehydrated. Have intravenous meds 3 times a day as I was becoming septic too.
So I am back on fluids for this last week and the next two weeks. 🙄. So over fluids/liquids. I cried Christmas Day as everyone was eating turkey and prawns.
but the plus side is I’ve lost 10kgs since Nov 2nd.

Thank you to both of you! Everything you say makes absolute sense and I think the jump start will help me. I don't think I realized or remembered the true carb count in so many of the things I eat, ate and continue to eat. I guess for the longest time, maintaining was effortless. Getting older or time having past since surgery has shown me that it is NOT effortless and I've got to put some effort forward - with thoughtfulness.
Again, thank you - I'm going to continue to check in here and keep myself in the "zone" of being accountable.
Happy New Year!🍾🍾

Oh mylanta! I’m so sorry that you had such a rough time over the holidays! But I’m glad you’re back on track!

I finished week 4 and FINALLY at the chewing food stage!!! So far I’ve had sautéed shrimp, a half of a piece of turkey bacon, and some ground turkey! Hallelujah! I’m looking forward to having my energy back!

The cortisone shots I got in my knees have worn off, so I’m rejoicing with every pound lost that I’m inching closer to being out of pain. So far I’ve lost 30.4 since surgery. Woo-hoo!
My daughter had RNY surgery Wednesday. She’s pretty pitiful right now but it’ll be nice to be able to do this journey with her when she’s feeling better.
Here’s to a new year full of health and hope!! Blessings, my friends!

So sorry to hear that ☹️ hoping you have a full recovery soon.

Hey everyone!! 👋
Hope you all are doing well. I have my gastric bypass surgery tomorrow.
Just felt like sharing. Any words of wisdom would be much appreciated.
Much love to you all. 💞

@SomeBigGuy sorry to hear you got Covid. My two girls got it before Christmas. I still have never had it.
you seem to be doing really well with the weight loss. Thanks for your kind words. We will see what the surgeon says at my next appt 2nd Jan. he is deciding of going down the bypass stage. But will have a definite answer as he has me booked in on the 11thJan.

I so agree with the above comment especially the “recovering Type 2 diabetic “ part. Anyone of us past 2 years out is there with you, I know I am. I definitely partook of the holiday cheer this year and I’m so “puffy” right now.

I’m concentrating on wellness for the new year. I do look for inflammatory foods that trip me up and eliminate them from my orbit for a while to get back to evenness. (Don’t know what else to call it?)

Aside from food and movement changes, I struggle with stress. I noticed if I journal, walk, talk to a friend, goof off on a guitar, extra Water weight just falls off. Sometimes I need an extra mineral or Vitamin (Magnesium and Vitamin D I’m looking at you.) I don’t know if any of this helps, but keep trying. There even could be a metabolic reason behind the weight creep. It doesn’t hurt to ask a trusted medical professional. You are not alone in this.

Congrats on the 16 years of success! As we get older, our metabolism likes to mess with us, haha, but this is common. My surgeon told me that after a while, some weight regain will occur, but the best way to restart things is to redo your pre-op diet for 2 weeks, just to jumpstart things.
His plan is at least try to get 64oz of Water a day, start with 2 Protein Shakes for the two meals a day where you typically eat less. On the "big meal" each day, try to get in 6 oz of meat/protein of your choice along with as much leafy greens/broccoli, cauliflower, celery, cucumbers as you can. Cut out breads, starchy veggies (potatoes, carrots, etc) for the 2 week duration. Target 60g-80g of Protein, and under 50g of carbs per day (not quite Keto levels, just reduced). Calorie target was around 600-1000 per day, but it is meant to be temporary and not long term, just a jump start.
From my personal experience, sugar/starchy carbs tend to send my cravings off the deep end for up to 3 days after eating them. I'm having to avoid bread, Cookies, cake, candy, tortillas, wraps, potatoes, carrots, rice, and oatmeal whenever I start to regain. Some artificial sweeteners seems to set me off too, but I am a recovering Type 2 diabetic. I haven't isolated which ones affect me yet, but I can drink Fairlife protein shakes without having that sugar craving, and it has Monk Fruit, Stevia, and Sucralose. First day is absolute hell, but after 3 days it eases up considerably.
Give that a try for 2-3 weeks and see if that helps with the weight loss. After that time, start working in your normal foods again, but give them a few days to see if any are triggering the new weight gain to happen again to see what's worth keeping. Slowly increase your calories to find the amount that works best for you long term. You want the range that lets you have the energy you need without weight gain. Some people may be only 1000 calories, others 1200, and others may be closer to 1800, so there's no exact number that works for every single person.
Good luck, and I wish you well on your journey!

This is coming from a guy, so take it with a grain of salt. I had to go to an event requiring a jacket and tie last week, which was 6 weeks after the pre-op diet (4 weeks post op) weight loss began. When I put on my suit I wore previously in September, I looked like a little kid trying on his dad's clothes. I needed a shirt 3 sizes smaller than my previous, but only 1 size smaller pants. I would suggest waiting to shop until about 2 weeks prior to the event because its hard to predict where you'll be at that point.
As far as the foods go, after having the sleeve done, I'm ok with some foods that I probably shouldn't be ready for yet (ground beef, salmon, high fiber/low carb bread which I have since cut back out since its not diet friendly), but others that I should be ok with are making me feel sick (leafy greens, broccoli, canned tuna). Again, I would just assess where you are a week or two out from the wedding, maybe ask them what is on the menu, but maybe plan to pack a diet-friendly snack in your bag just in case. Congrats again on your surgery!

Mine was the 16th and recently started losing weight but before the scale started moving I started seeing my clothes fitting a little looser. I definitely don’t have the same appetite but still getting used to how to tell when I’m satisfied before feeling sick but it does get better each day. I have finally had the energy to start going to the gym again!

😊 Hello! New to this site. Had a VSG on 11/29. Hoping to get back to work this week! Currently at my 2nd post op visit waiting for the NP, and saw a flyer about this group.
I don’t know what I’m doing 🤣