Bimbabe

I wish you the best! October 3rd is not too far away!

I have never heard of that, where to you get it?

Anne-

Yes this will be a difficult time to make a carreer change, but you can to it!

OMG! If I had a scale that weighed me to the 1/10 of a pound, I would be on it hourly! Something weird happens to me when I diet, I feel like the scale is calling me! I could weigh myself say at 8am and if I am home, I am back on it every 2 hours or so. I know that sounds crazy!!!

I did not feel like posting yesterday. No reason, just got lazy. I was on the forum, just reading, I really enjoy that.

Yesterday was Sunday, so my husband wanted us to start going to church. I best describe myself as a Christian, but I don't neccessarily think one needs to go to church every Sunday. However, I do enjoy it.

Yesterday the guest preacher talked about us being perfect, because we were created by God. I do believe that, but since God gave us free will and after all, we are only human, I don't necssarily see anything wrong with one wanting to improve himself. He mainly was talking about people in the magazines who are desperately skinny and the ones who have multiple plastic surgeries. There is a difference between what I am doing and someone who wants larger breasts and less facial wrinkles. Breasts and wrinkles do not result in serious health issues, like diabetes, heart dz, stroke, etc. But I do get it there is going to have to be a point were I am satisfied with who I am and what I look like.

I never wanted to be so thin, my ribs show!

Yuck. When I was a student nurse in college, we worked on a psych-medical unit.

A lot of the patients were anorexics. I mean, these were young girls my age at the time (18), who weighed no more than 80 or so pounds. I just thought how sad and what is going on with them that they don't want to eat! Well, that is what I was learning about. But none the less, I did not aspire to look like that or even close, ever!

I just want to be healthy, eat well, and live an active lifestlye. Not too much to ask but I do need to set a goal for myself before I actually go in for the surgery. I am thinking 165lbs would be good for me. That would be 100lbs less than I am now. We shall see..

Here I am on day 6! So far, I have lost about 9lbs, that is not unusual for me. I retain water so that is what most of it is.

BUT!! I will take it!

Today has not been too bad. We did some running around and right now I am taking a break from my Saturday chores. I had a pretty big bfast. Eggs and a sausage. I just had some grapes, yogurt and chicken for lunch.

Gotta go! I am going to surf the web for a minute and then start cleaning again.

Wow! It really is getting easier. I think blogging really helps as well. This morning I was a little hungry, I had a cup of cherrios and an egg. I feel fine right now.

I think I am going to have to deal with the emotional highs and lows of the whole food issue. It is much easier to deal with if I am not hungry. Hunger + not being able to bindge on favorites= DANGER!

Anyway so far so good, I have all of my food here with me for the day. It is really a process to eat right, you have to prepare your food ahead of time! What a concept:lol:!

I have the same condition! When I loose weight I expect it to come back. I sooo feel your pain!

Hi Gigiswords,

Thanks for the words of encouragement and support! It seems as if you are doing very well, weather you have lost 39 or 43, that is GREAT! Keep up the good work.

I did not blog yesterday because I was depressed. It is so weird to be depressed over food! I ate well, napped, did some homework and then I went for a walk with my dog, Bimini.

The walking did help, it was a beautiful day in Atlanta. I just felt sad that I have to make these changes for life. I know it is the best thing for me, but it is like saying goodbye to a friend that has been around for a long time. But really for me food is a frenemy! I love it but if I keep up the same habits, the food will kill me eventually.

So, yesterday, while walking, I took some deep breaths, stretched and really made myself be in the moment of walking, and enjoying the sun, wind and air. When I got home I was sweaty and hot and of course hungry. I ate a piece of pork loin, salad, broccoli and a small amount of brown rice.

And I physically felt better. It is the head stuff I am going to have to work through.

This morning so far, I had cherrios, yogurt and I am dying for a cup of coffee! I do not feel hungry at all. That is important because if I get hungry I end up eating everything and anything I can get my hands on.

Once again, I just have to take it one meal at a time, we shall see how it goes.

I am at the end of day 2. I did okay, I started obsessing about food, but not just food the bad stuff, chips, cake, cookies, ice cream...."sigh":sad:

I slept for about 3 hours, just to avoid it. I did walk the dog and watched a good show, but this is sooo hard for me. I think it is because I have failed so many times before and the little voice in my head saying "you may as well wait for the surgery, you are not going to stick with it" ARG! Those damned little voices!

Right now I am just drinking a diet coke and typing on my blog. This is a calorie free activity. I will write more tomorrow.

Hello!

I know how you feel. My husband is supportive, but he married me heavy and he likes F.A.T. (fabulous and thick) women. I just wonder how is going to react when the weight starts coming off??!!

I am doing this for health reasons, looking better is a secondary goal. I don't want to develop diabetes, hypertension and all the other stuff that goes along with long-standing obesity!

P.S. You have our support here on LBT!

Well,

This is the first day of my diet and since it is only 9:12a, I can say I am doing just fine! I really need to do this, it is for my own good. I ate cereal, milk and an egg for breakfast.

The one thing I must do is prepare lunch and dinner for the days I work. I am begining to see that I am overweight because I am lazy! I want to be able to pick up whatever I want to eat or drink and have it! Well, that is not working well for me.

I am going to have to relearn how to eat and drink. I know it is going to be difficult, but sooo worth it. At some point, I may start posting vlogs on you tube, I am just not that confident yet! I have a weird accent and I really don't like how I look.

I have been thinking about excess skin, is it inevitable? I hope that as I loose, I tone with the excercise and loose skin won't be a huge problem. Well, for right now I just need to concentrate on my food plan.

More later...

Well,

I am going to begin my self-imposed pre-op diet tomorrow. I am a little nervous because I HATE diets..Why??? Because I fail at them miserably! LOL...hence, RNY surgery.

I am doing this so I can get used to eating every 2-3 hours, detox my body from all the bad stuff I have been eating for the past year and I would like to go into surgery at least ten pounds less than I am now..so I am 274, I would like to go in at 264.

It is going to be difficult, because of the whole diet concept. I have made lunch and snacks for tomorrow and my hubby grilled some stuff too. By the way, I am making him go on this with me as well. He is not too heavy, he probably needs to loose about 20lbs, though.

More tommorrow.....

So,

I have been all over the forum reading about what people had to do preop, especially with diets. I am definately going to go on my low fat low carb, high protein diet, starting Monday 09/22/08.

It will be interesting, because I have not really dieted since January. I am a little anxious about it, mainly because it just makes the whole thing more real. I am 270 today and I would love to loose at least 10lbs before surgery. I need to "purge" my body of bad carbs, sodas and unhealthy fats. I have been eating HORRIBLY lately and I know it is because I feel like "this is it". I will no longer be able to eat all of this unhealthy stuff. I have been eating stuff I usually don't eat, like chocolate, hard candy, cakes, etc. This is even more of a reason to do a cleansing for myself.

I usually drink 10 glasses of water per day, I have not been doing that. I try to walk 3 times per week, I have just been a total slug! 'sigh' I really need to get out of this rut.

My husband just called and said we need to go grocery shopping. So, this weekend I plan on getting some stuff for him and the things I will need post op. I plan on eating a lot of chicken over the next three weeks.

I don't like fish, so that is not an option for me. I do plan on eating plenty of beans, veggies and a limited number of fruits, most likely apples and pears and maybe a grapefruit or two.

So,

I have been all over the forum reading about what people had to do preop, especially with diets. I am definately going to go on my low fat low carb, high protein diet, starting Monday 09/22/08.

It will be interesting, because I have not really dieted since January. I am a little anxious about it, mainly because it just makes the whole thing more real. I am 270 today and I would love to loose at least 10lbs before surgery. I need to "purge" my body of bad carbs, sodas and unhealthy fats. I have been eating HORRIBLY lately and I know it is because I feel like "this is it". I will no longer be able to eat all of this unhealthy stuff. I have been eating stuff I usually don't eat, like chocolate, hard candy, cakes, etc. This is even more of a reason to do a cleansing for myself.

I usually drink 10 glasses of water per day, I have not been doing that. I try to walk 3 times per week, I have just been a total slug! 'sigh' I really need to get out of this rut.

My husband just called and said we need to go grocery shopping. So, this weekend I plan on getting some stuff for him and the things I will need post op. I plan on eating a lot of chicken over the next three weeks.

I don't like fish, so that is not an option for me. I do plan on eating plenty of beans, veggies and a limited number of fruits, most likely apples and pears and maybe a grapefruit or two.

Well, today I received the preop instruction packet from the hospital. I have to go for my preop on 10/09 and 10am.

My surgery is on 10/14 at 12 noon, but I have to be at the hospital at 10am. So I will have to wait around for about 2 hours...Wow, it is becoming more real.. and I am excited.

Well,

It I offically have less than a month to go before surgery. I feel like a kid right before Christmas!! I am so excited. I told my husband we need to celebrate my birthday (10/15) and our 3rd year anniversary (10/30) this weekend! I think we will go have Itlian food at Maggiano's in Buckhead. I love Itlian and I don't think I will be able to eat it for a while after the surgery.

I had an uneventful weekend. Hurricane Ike hit TX, so I was watching that on TV. I hope and pray for those families affected. Of course, I have been keeping up with the politics. We (in the US) are voting this year. I am a democrat, so this whole Palin thing is making me crazy. I don't understand if someone is a Sen. Clinton supporter, they think that those same people would support Palin! I hope they don't think we are that stupid! Enough of that!

I do look forward to my new life, though. Last night I stood in front of the mirror and looked at my body! I have not done that in a looooonng time. I tried to imagine how I would look 125lbs less...very difficult. I didn't feel as disgusted as I thought I would have. I think, because I have been so heavy for so long, I have just accepted the way I look. I am blessed in that, my husband loves me as I am. I do think he will also enjoy me just as well if I am smaller. I cannot wait to see!:thumbup:

I have a date...finally. I am going to have surgery on 10/14/08, the day before my 44th birthday! I am really excited. The end of the first hurdle is near. I then get to begin a whole new chapter in my life. It is very exciting. It's funny that I don't feel nervous at all, should I? I am sure that will change as the date gets closer.

Once again, I have been reading different forums and blogs and I gusess I need to get prepared. I need to get the vitamins and the protein powders and drinks. Most say they wished they had not bought so much, as their taste for things change so dramatically. I also checked out the recipe forum, people are so creative.

I told my parents that I am going to have weight loss surgery. My mom pretty much said "that's good, let me tell you about my back...." typical. My dad said NOTHING, which is like saying EVERYTHING! At least he recognizes that I am an adult and capable of making my own decisions. I am sure he doesn't approve. He is from the old school, just stop eating so much, and excercise. The problem is that is what I have been doing for the past 25+ years. Now I really believe my metabolism is so shot, that even when I do diet, my body senses it and shuts down.

Here is the list of diets I have been on since I can remember:

WW-10+ times

Jenny Craig at least 4 times

NutriSystem at least 3 times

Quick Weight loss at least 5 times

Atkins diet 15 times!!! (I found an old diary)

Some online diet, I cannot remember the name.

Multiple Scarsborough diets, hollywood diet, zone diets, grape fruit diet, mayo clinic diet, cabbage soup diet, southbeach diet, slimfast, physician sponsored diets....and probably about 100 more I cannot think of right now.

I have joined gyms at least 20 or more times!

So when someone tells me to diet and excercise, my answer is "that is what I have been doing and look at me!" :thumbup: I have been as low as 145 and as high as 275, I am just over this whole ordeal. It is time for me to do something different. I don't plan on getting the surgery done, then nothing. I plan on changing my eating habits, increasing my excercise program and becoming more active. I know you can't just have the surgery and hang out and wait for the weitght to "fall off". I see this as a tool and and incentive to keep loosing and continuing to get positive results.

The last diet I was on, was a physician supervised diet. I was placed on phentermine, which helped. I followed the food plan and the excercise regime and after 6 months I lost 4 pounds!!! Well, that messed with my head badly! I really had made the lifestyle changes ( I continue to excercise) and to have lost 4 pounds!!??:smile:

I just could not believe it. I have managed to keep the 4 lbs off, but I am just tired of doing it the "conventional" way. It makes me sick.

So on 10/14/08, I am going to do something different, and incorporate a healthier lifestyle. I expected to get different results.

I am sitting here at work, watching the clock. I hope I don't get anymore patients. I am just really feeling tired. I think I am getting to old to work 12 hours anymore. I cannot complain, though. I do not stay that busy and I am able to get some of my school work done. But since I only have 30 minutes left, I think I will blog.

I was just reading over my past postings and it makes me feel so uncomfortable to think someone besides myself is actually reading this. In a large group and superficially, I am fine with social groups. But when it comes to one-on-one discussions I just freeze. I guess sometimes I don't know what to say...oops gotta go will write more later......

Now I am conviced this is some type of marathon. It is also a test of my patience! I will hear (hopefully by Wednesday) about a date.

As I apparently get closer, I am becoming a little more anxious. I have been reading the forums daily. There is an emotional component to not being able to use food as an outlet. So, I need to develop more healthy habits. Sounds good, right? Well easier said than done. I decided I may take up knitting again, something to do to keep my hands busy.

At this point, I really just want to get it done and move on to the next step. I turn 44 this year, which I cannot believe! Time certainly has gone by quickly. I feel as though I need to catch up with my age. My brain is still only about 25!

For my preop I will only have to be on liquids for 2 days!! WOOOOO HOOOOO!!!!!!

If I am going to be a bypass, can I still be on lapbandtalk???

When I woke this morning, I had planned on doing a quick blog before I went for the procedures, but I got lazy.

Anyway, the upper GI and the GB ultrasound are done. The GB ultrasound was pretty routine, I just laid there while she scanned my GB, Kidneys, liver and spleen. NO BIG DEAL. The Upper GI was fine as well, with the exception of drinking that chalky barium! So, you drink the barium, swallow it and the tech has you hold your breath. Well, then you are laid down on the xray table and you have to roll from side to side (they want to watch the barium as it goes down into the gi track). That was it.

Now the warning you are given is that the barium will stick to the bowel, so you need to drink lots of water and eat a high fiber diet. I can handle that.:thumbup:

So, then I go to see Dr. Steinberg, I am all ready to get a date, I have my calendar, my hubby is with me, we go over the consents and.....NO DATE UNTIL THURSDAY:tt2:. Okay so the joke is on me. I guess the surgical coordinator person has to schedule the surgery.

While talking with Dr. Steinberg, we came to the conclusion, that I will be better off with a lap bypass! I have pre-diabetes and I am already on Metformin for it and PCOS, so whatever, I am just ready to make the lifestlye change. I am ready to make the commitment to a new life and a new body.

So while the finish line is still in the distance, I can see it. The most anxiety for me was waiting for the insurance approval.

OH! One more thing. We discussed my goal weight. For me I would be happy at 155-160. Well his goal weight for me is 136! We started to buck about it, but then I told him to let me go through the surgery first and then we can talk about it more. I never wanted to be a toothpick and I think for me 136 will be too small! That is 134lbs!!!

Soooooo overwhelming. I will write again on Monday.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that, the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

two roads diverged in a wood, and I --

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference

Robert Frost

Sometimes I feel like I am in some sort of weird race. Really a marathon. There is so much prep work before having surgery, it gets to be a little overwhelming.

Tomorrow I go for an upper GI and GB ultrasound. After that appointment, I will see Dr. Steinberg and get a date. I have been on the forum reading daily and it seems as though most physicians put you on a diet. A liquid diet. Okay!

I obviously have food issues and so I am going to be challenged if I am placed on a diet. It seems as though the diet is to prep for surgery (attempt to make the liver less fatty). But I also see it as an oppertunity, albiet challenging, to start my new more healthy life style. There are so many unknowns. 2 weeks out of your life may not sound like much, but for me, a liquid diet for 2 weeks sounds impossible. I must focus on this as an oppertunity to change my eating habits. I need to become more aware of not only when I eat, but why.

I have read some blogs in which people are greiving the loss of their previous relationship with food. It seems as though there is some emotional pain with it. I can understand. Food is always there for me. If I am happy, sad, angry, celebatory, bored, enthused, food has always been there.

Things are going to be different. My relationship with food needs to change from an emotional buddy to a tool. A tool which gives me energy to live to breathe...energy to develop other realtionships.

I am an introvert. This entire experience, blogging, posting my pictures online, is so different for me. I am not comfortable with people looking at me, knowing who I am and how I am feeling. If someone is actually reading this, , that scares me. However, I think it is therapeutic for me to do this. I need to become more open with myself and others.

So, tomorrow, I will get closer to the finish line. I will have my testing done, get a date and possibly a 2-week diet. "sigh". I will write more tomorrow after the testing. I am feeling pretty good right about now.:thumbup:

Well,

At this point I just need to have the GB ultrasound and the upper GI. Then, I go to see Dr. Steinberg for my surgery date.

It looks like it will be sometime in October.

It is still far away, but it seems more of a reality. I am conflicted as to who I should tell and when...I will think about it.