I have been on the fence for a while as well. In fact I flat out refused to do it for the longest time, wanting to lose the weight myself. The odds were stacked against me, however, as they are for most people. I started going to the gym with my fiance, and we were keeping a routine. I was well on my way. Then Covid struck. Who knows where I'd be at weight wise by now if I had been able to continue my gym experience. Now I'm just scared to go back because I don't know who has Covid and who adequately monitors themselves. So many people are like eh whatever, you don't know what you're getting into just going to the grocery store!
However ... I'm sure it will be a heart attack that kills me before the surgery will. I have 2 bonus kids that need me in their life. I want to be there for them. I've not been able to ensure that on any level for years. It's time. I want to not hurt when I stand or walk. It's just time. Quite plainly.
It also helps that I had my gallbladder removed. That was my first ever surgery and it helped me with my trust in the process when it comes to intricate dealings like surgeries. It also increased my confidence that I was required to find a Blue Ribbon facility by my insurance - further decreasing the likelihood of negative outcomes or side effects. Another thing that boosted my confidence is when I found out my surgeon has done over 2000 procedures and not one has had a leak following it. I know I'm in good hands.
I have an aunt and both her daughters that had the surgery as well. My fiance is very supportive. A strong support system is probably THE most important thing you can have. That being said, to hell with anyone, family or otherwise, who is not supportive of you and your decisions to create a better you. Find a new group to surround yourself with. Surgery and the lifetime following it are NOT the easy ways out. It is a complete 180 lifestyle change for most and it's hard. But it's worth it and it will keep you here longer for your child. THAT is what matters.
Best wishes for you in your future, whatever you decide.