Ephemeral

Your emotions and feelings are valid. It's such a big change. I had my surgery in January of 2022 and the night before the surgery I remember thinking, for a fleeting moment, that I just wanted to cancel all of it.....the fear of the unknown...the fear of leaving a comfort zone....our beloved comfort foods.
I can tell you, I'm glad I did not change my mind. I'm over a year and I have never been happier. I've lost over 75 lbs and my life has changed for the better. I feel free! You will get there, I promise you, you will. Allow yourself to have those days of "loneliness"....they are normal. Push through them. You are strong, you are young and beautiful. In a few months, you will look back and smile....
Allow yourself the time to heal, to recover, to adjust... You are so brave and strong. Remember your "why". You are meant to do amazing things.
Tight hugs to you ♥

Your emotions and feelings are valid. It's such a big change. I had my surgery in January of 2022 and the night before the surgery I remember thinking, for a fleeting moment, that I just wanted to cancel all of it.....the fear of the unknown...the fear of leaving a comfort zone....our beloved comfort foods.
I can tell you, I'm glad I did not change my mind. I'm over a year and I have never been happier. I've lost over 75 lbs and my life has changed for the better. I feel free! You will get there, I promise you, you will. Allow yourself to have those days of "loneliness"....they are normal. Push through them. You are strong, you are young and beautiful. In a few months, you will look back and smile....
Allow yourself the time to heal, to recover, to adjust... You are so brave and strong. Remember your "why". You are meant to do amazing things.
Tight hugs to you ♥

I went through the same thing and the same feelings; it gets better it really does. once you start eating normal food and drinking more than a sip at a time you will feel much better. once you get over that stage things go back to normal pretty quick to quick for me. My advice, don't rush it because this period of restriction can lessen a great deal anywhere from the 6-month mark to 2 years. I didn't believe my surgeon when he told me this but it's true. now I wish I had the fresh post op restriction. But yes it sucks right now but you will get through it and in 12 months you will know it was the right thing to do.

REading your post, I can so relate to rewards/family connection around food- it’s so HARD! Good news is that you can shift that to something new over time— and still enjoy those family bonding moments. But in the beginning with hormones raging- and yes, fat holds estrogen so its flushing out as you loose— it is so emotional. You have not lost that forever, it’s just evolving. Soon it can be more about being together than the eating part. Definitely consider getting a counselor on your team- even if you get one on your own, find one with eating disorder experience, mine has helped more that dietician even. DBT and CBT are great treatment options with therapist, imo.
As for the 6-10 pm hide out- is there anything you can do outside your home to keep you engaged in something healthy for you? I started organizing my home, doing small projects, walking or even just going for a car ride to keep my mind occupied. Movement, fresh air and exercise is great for our mood/mental health. Or do you have any hobbies/interests you can engage in to get out of the headspace? Maybe any volunteering? Even just playing with a pet can lift my mood. Medication can also really help.
You are incredibly brave and can do this— dont give up and soon you will be on the other side of it with a healthier version of you.

Big hugs! I want to say good for you for taking this step at 19! I'm 50 and should have done this in my 30's. A lot of time and opportunities wasted.
The week's after surgery are super hard. I promise it gets better, especially as you reintroduce food, even if it is pureed! Please don't stress too much about Protein right now. The most important thing it's to stay hydrated. Hitting protein goals is pretty tricky the first 6 weeks imo. It's only in in thr past 2 weeks I'm getting there as my diet becomes more regular and I'm in a routine. I preplan my meals for the week and ensure I have healthy Snacks that help me meet my protein goals. I look on Pinterest all the time for inspiration. Use this time to think ahead and get some ideas for the future.
You'll get better at being in situations with food. It doesn't bother me. Tonight they got takeaway and I skipped it as I'd preplanned a meal I'm looking forward to. In no time you’ll be able to eat with your family, just smaller portions. It just becomes normal.
Hang in there!

Oh boy can I relate. I keep saying on these forums that the metal aspect is the most difficult part of the surgery and the one I was least prepared. Bariatric teams can’t prepare you for it because everyone is so different.
You are mourning food, specifically being able to eat it, like you did in the quantities, and the timings of the past. This was so hard for me. But it does get easier, just like your body healing physically, it heals mentally. Once you get back on solid food and your body gets used to the portion sizes.
During the transition periods, I used that time to really search myself for the hold that food had on me. I spoke to counselors and my dietitians about it as well. Try to use this time to really understand what food meant to you and how it got you to where you were before surgery. Go to the picnic and observe the food and the way people eat it. I had a massive connection between happiness at gatherings and the quantity of food I ate. I came to realize this was an addiction. Once I started losing weight and healed, it was easier for me to see the damage that food had done. From there it became easier to be with others, eating at gatherings, parties, etc..
Hang in there it gets easier as long as you use the time to really, really address the mental issues that go along with the physical. Like wolfgirl states, reach out to your team to get any additional help you may need to get you through the stage.

From what I was told by my doctor, changes in hormones after surgery is normal and may affect mood. I know that doesn't help solve the depression, but it may help to know that it is normal and temporary. If you find it doesn't ease up or that it gets worse, consider temporarily going on anti-depressants. This surgery is difficult enough without trying to get through the mental aspects without help. After a few months, you can (with help from your doctor) taper off the meds and see if your mood is better. Also, if you are not already seeing a therapist, get one if you can. I see one and I can tell you, just having a stranger to spit everything out to that isn't going to judge is amazing. This is a hard time, there is no reason why you have to do this alone.

Hi all,
I just had the gastric sleeve done on 6/21, and I am having so many feelings of loneliness and regret. I know this is a normal thing among people who have received bariatric surgeries, but even that thought doesn't bring me comfort.
I stayed up all night the past 2 nights feeling like I just made the biggest mistake of my life, wondering why I didn't just exercise and eat healthier and spare my body and mind from this irreversible change. The first 4 days after surgery were the toughest for sure. Physically, that is. The pain was unmanageable even with the pain medications my doctors prescribed. Now the pain is (mostly) gone, and the liquid diet is killing me. I can't even think about FairLife Core Power Elite Protein Shakes without gagging (I dry heaved just writing the name out). I've tried what feels like every Protein Powder under the sun, and nothing seems to be enjoyable. Normally if I didn't like something, but needed to get it down for whatever reason, I'd just chug it. And I can't even do that anymore. I've always been an emotional eater, so now that when I'm sad and I can't eat, I get even sadder.
Despite all of this, I think what keeps tearing me down is the feeling of loneliness. Now, I'm 19 years old with an awesome support system from my parents, siblings, and awesome friends. And I appreciate the hell out of all of them. But none of them understand. This has been the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my 19 years and I have no one in my circle who can even attempt to relate to these specific feelings. I am staying with my parents right now, which is nice. But, my family is filled with people whose lives revolve around food. Every birthday, every special occasion, and even the rewards when my siblings and I were little were all food-based. That's how my family socializes and bonds with each other. And that's not something I can do (I know just for a little bit but time seems to be going by so slowly). I literally hide in my room from 6pm-10pm because if I were to go downstairs everyone would be out there eating something that looks so delicious and having a great time together. When I explain these things to my mom, she just says "Well just come down and drink a Protein Shake with us!". It's definitely not the same because of all of the sadness and FOMO I feel when I see them eating things I can't have for at least 5 more months. And with the 4th of July being tomorrow (a holiday that my family spends drinking and eating from morning until night), I feel like I have no choice but to spend the holiday in my room watching the Dodgers game by myself.
It just feels like I'm drowning in a swimming pool and no one can get through the gate to save me.
I'm sorry this post is such a downer. Maybe I'm just overreacting. I just needed to get this off my chest and I hope at least one person on this site can relate.
Thank you for reading.

Congratulations and well done! I can't wait for my weight to drop below 100 kg (3 kg to go). Hopefully before my 40th birthday by end of this month 😀

I am sure there's a thread on this very topic, out there.....however, this goal was an important one, as well as an emotional one for me and I wanted my own thread on it. I don't remember the last time I weighed under 200 lbs, and finally this morning, my scale read 199.8 lbs. I know that .8 is there, but for me, seeing the 199, meant a lot. While I still have a little ways to go, (about 55 lbs), to reach my end goal, reaching ONEderland was a cornerstone for me. It's been just a little over 2 months since I've had my surgery, and not one day goes by without me telling myself that I should have done this much sooner! I'm no longer wearing "stretchy" pants....I'm now wearing jeans!!!!
PS. Don't mind my toes....I wasn't going to have a pedicure done until I reached ONEderland, so guess what? I'm getting my toes done this weekend!!!
Thank you for being part of this journey with me. I know we are all somewhat "strangers" to one another, but in our own way, we hold each other's hands through all of this. The good and the bad.
Virtual Hug to All! ♥

I am sure there's a thread on this very topic, out there.....however, this goal was an important one, as well as an emotional one for me and I wanted my own thread on it. I don't remember the last time I weighed under 200 lbs, and finally this morning, my scale read 199.8 lbs. I know that .8 is there, but for me, seeing the 199, meant a lot. While I still have a little ways to go, (about 55 lbs), to reach my end goal, reaching ONEderland was a cornerstone for me. It's been just a little over 2 months since I've had my surgery, and not one day goes by without me telling myself that I should have done this much sooner! I'm no longer wearing "stretchy" pants....I'm now wearing jeans!!!!
PS. Don't mind my toes....I wasn't going to have a pedicure done until I reached ONEderland, so guess what? I'm getting my toes done this weekend!!!
Thank you for being part of this journey with me. I know we are all somewhat "strangers" to one another, but in our own way, we hold each other's hands through all of this. The good and the bad.
Virtual Hug to All! ♥

Congratulations! Yay! Well done! I’m so happy! Someday this will be me!

It's never too late to celebrate! Congratulations to you! It's all "downhill" from here 😁 I can totally relate with that BMI number! I can't wait to change categories as well- I've always hated the word "obese" and "morbidly obese", they sound so negative and final, don't they? Those words make "overweight" look so good! lololol.
Thanks for sharing your Onederland milestone achievement with us ♥ Keep going!

I am sure there's a thread on this very topic, out there.....however, this goal was an important one, as well as an emotional one for me and I wanted my own thread on it. I don't remember the last time I weighed under 200 lbs, and finally this morning, my scale read 199.8 lbs. I know that .8 is there, but for me, seeing the 199, meant a lot. While I still have a little ways to go, (about 55 lbs), to reach my end goal, reaching ONEderland was a cornerstone for me. It's been just a little over 2 months since I've had my surgery, and not one day goes by without me telling myself that I should have done this much sooner! I'm no longer wearing "stretchy" pants....I'm now wearing jeans!!!!
PS. Don't mind my toes....I wasn't going to have a pedicure done until I reached ONEderland, so guess what? I'm getting my toes done this weekend!!!
Thank you for being part of this journey with me. I know we are all somewhat "strangers" to one another, but in our own way, we hold each other's hands through all of this. The good and the bad.
Virtual Hug to All! ♥

Congratulations on your accomplishment! Enjoy the pedi! It will be a lovely treat and you e certainly earned it.

Congratulations!!!!

I finally got to Onederland yesterday, after a weeks-long stall at 200. Feels fabulous, doesn't it? 😁

I am sure there's a thread on this very topic, out there.....however, this goal was an important one, as well as an emotional one for me and I wanted my own thread on it. I don't remember the last time I weighed under 200 lbs, and finally this morning, my scale read 199.8 lbs. I know that .8 is there, but for me, seeing the 199, meant a lot. While I still have a little ways to go, (about 55 lbs), to reach my end goal, reaching ONEderland was a cornerstone for me. It's been just a little over 2 months since I've had my surgery, and not one day goes by without me telling myself that I should have done this much sooner! I'm no longer wearing "stretchy" pants....I'm now wearing jeans!!!!
PS. Don't mind my toes....I wasn't going to have a pedicure done until I reached ONEderland, so guess what? I'm getting my toes done this weekend!!!
Thank you for being part of this journey with me. I know we are all somewhat "strangers" to one another, but in our own way, we hold each other's hands through all of this. The good and the bad.
Virtual Hug to All! ♥

All of the ladies above me have made great points. It truly comes down to what will be best for YOU. I have to admit that the night before my scheduled surgery, I had thoughts of backing out. Just thinking that I would never be able to eat a big plate of my favorite foods again, or polish off a bag of potato chips in one sitting, or drinking my beloved Coke, etc...that kind of scared me. It scared me because I am/was an emotional eater and food was like a comfort blanket for me. However, the desire to finally be healthy and no longer being fat was stronger than my fear of losing my "blanket". I had the surgery on January 19th and never looked back. The only regret I have is NOT doing it sooner! I'm down 52 lbs and it has done wonders for my physical, mental and emotional health.
I have not had any major issues at all. My main struggle is keeping that Multi-Vitamin down. That Iron kills me! And right now, I'm losing my hair by the handful....but I know this won't last.
Read all you can read. These ladies/forums are amazing! I've learned so much from them.
Good Luck to you! ♥

I ended up chopping off half my hair and I feel much better.

I am sure there's a thread on this very topic, out there.....however, this goal was an important one, as well as an emotional one for me and I wanted my own thread on it. I don't remember the last time I weighed under 200 lbs, and finally this morning, my scale read 199.8 lbs. I know that .8 is there, but for me, seeing the 199, meant a lot. While I still have a little ways to go, (about 55 lbs), to reach my end goal, reaching ONEderland was a cornerstone for me. It's been just a little over 2 months since I've had my surgery, and not one day goes by without me telling myself that I should have done this much sooner! I'm no longer wearing "stretchy" pants....I'm now wearing jeans!!!!
PS. Don't mind my toes....I wasn't going to have a pedicure done until I reached ONEderland, so guess what? I'm getting my toes done this weekend!!!
Thank you for being part of this journey with me. I know we are all somewhat "strangers" to one another, but in our own way, we hold each other's hands through all of this. The good and the bad.
Virtual Hug to All! ♥

I am sure there's a thread on this very topic, out there.....however, this goal was an important one, as well as an emotional one for me and I wanted my own thread on it. I don't remember the last time I weighed under 200 lbs, and finally this morning, my scale read 199.8 lbs. I know that .8 is there, but for me, seeing the 199, meant a lot. While I still have a little ways to go, (about 55 lbs), to reach my end goal, reaching ONEderland was a cornerstone for me. It's been just a little over 2 months since I've had my surgery, and not one day goes by without me telling myself that I should have done this much sooner! I'm no longer wearing "stretchy" pants....I'm now wearing jeans!!!!
PS. Don't mind my toes....I wasn't going to have a pedicure done until I reached ONEderland, so guess what? I'm getting my toes done this weekend!!!
Thank you for being part of this journey with me. I know we are all somewhat "strangers" to one another, but in our own way, we hold each other's hands through all of this. The good and the bad.
Virtual Hug to All! ♥

I am sure there's a thread on this very topic, out there.....however, this goal was an important one, as well as an emotional one for me and I wanted my own thread on it. I don't remember the last time I weighed under 200 lbs, and finally this morning, my scale read 199.8 lbs. I know that .8 is there, but for me, seeing the 199, meant a lot. While I still have a little ways to go, (about 55 lbs), to reach my end goal, reaching ONEderland was a cornerstone for me. It's been just a little over 2 months since I've had my surgery, and not one day goes by without me telling myself that I should have done this much sooner! I'm no longer wearing "stretchy" pants....I'm now wearing jeans!!!!
PS. Don't mind my toes....I wasn't going to have a pedicure done until I reached ONEderland, so guess what? I'm getting my toes done this weekend!!!
Thank you for being part of this journey with me. I know we are all somewhat "strangers" to one another, but in our own way, we hold each other's hands through all of this. The good and the bad.
Virtual Hug to All! ♥

Congratulations! Enjoy reaching your well deserved goal! I remember that well! I was also so excited that I was able to start wearing an XL rather than plus size clothes when I got down to 195.

Sent from my Pixel 4a using BariatricPal mobile app

You are reaching out for help after identifying a possible problem. Your current success has been fantastic. It might take some sleuthing on your part to identify your needs and get help.

I went to psychology today . com . (I’m afraid to mislead you with a bad link.). My family was not acknowledging grandfather’s memory loss and it devastated my son. The whole situation snowballed out of control and now we’re all in therapy to learn how to talk. Does this affect personal weight loss? Yes, but also taking care of myself mentally allows me to nurture myself and my kid!

I’m sorry this has happened to you. You have the knowledge to persist in finding help for yourself. I believe weight loss is a mental game to switch from old ways of doing things. When we make the decision to get WLS it’s also a decision to try a new way of handling problems because life is often challenging. I know you can do it!