Smanky

Like @catwoman7 I was laser focused on my plan for the first year or longer. I didn't have a piece of candy, or a cookie, or any previously favored treat. I was a binge eater, if one was good ten would be better. I was honestly afraid that one might turn into more. I wouldn't even do a low calorie version because in the past they were always stepping stones to a lot of the real thing. Rather, I turned my obsession to following plan. I was surprised by the pride I felt by following the simple rules of my plan day after day.
For now stay focused and compliant to your plan and be rewarded with the positive feedback loop of losing weight. You are building new habits and a new lifestyle that will serve you for the rest of your life.
Good luck,
Tek

Yes, it should be concerning because the risks are greater. Your surgeon has selected duodenal switch for you which is appropriate. It has the best potential for losing lots of weight.
Nevertheless, it is still up to you you! Do read as much as possible about WLS and afterwards. I've posted lots of book suggestions, which you can see by going to my profile.
Start learning how to eat differently now so that it is habit by the time you have had surgery. Lose as much weight as you can pre-surgery, which will make it easier for your surgeon to get at your organs.

This is the infamous Week 3 Stall that happens to most of us, and will typically last 1-3 weeks. Mine hit one week after surgery and I'm only now just coming out of it. It's definitely frustrating, but completely normal. Your body has just gone through a major trauma and has had its wiring rearranged. It needs to take small "time-outs" to have a think about how the new system is going to work - which is what drives a stall. So stay off the scale, keep doing what you need to do, and your body will get back to losing once it's had a little time to adjust. When you think about what your body has to do, it's really amazing that it only wants a couple of weeks pause!
My scale number fluctuated a whole kilogram during my stall, which isn't fat gain so don't worry about that. You'll get back to losing once the stall breaks - and it will.
There's thousands of threads on the forum about stalls, so do a search of those if you want to see what good company you're in. Stalls will happen more than once, it's just part of the process.

Also, trans people weren't "born" one gender and "became" another. They were always the same gender, no matter what their body might have looked like. The term you want is "assigned," as in "assigned male at birth" or "assigned female at birth." The term you want for someone who has transitioned (whether medically or by clothing choice or any other way) is "male" or "female" or whatever gender they tell you they are.
And while we're here and talking about this, it's never OK to ask someone if they've had surgery as part of their transition. What's in someone's pants is not anyone else's business.

While I believe that you do indeed need to have a heart-to-heart with your husband and explain exactly how your feeling and lay out all of the emotions and reasons behind your decision to do what you want to your body... I disagree that you need to spend the rest of your life explaining yourself to him. Additionally, once you've laid your heart out on the table and explained your decision, (IMO) he'll need to make a decision to support you, his wife, or to not support you.
While I appreciate @thegreaterfool giving you the man's point of view, I don't think it took into account what you need from your spouse. You need support from your spouse just as much as your spouse needs you to support him. It's a give and take ... not just a give, give, give. So while yes, he needs to hear and feel your support to quell his worries right now, you're going to need his support too. 50/50 give and take, not just give and give some more. He has to care about your relationship as much as you do to put in his 50%.
Best of luck to you and I hope your talk with him goes well and that he's able to understand your choice and decision enough to partner with you on the decision and you can carry each other moving forward. Because this is a huge life decision, you're going to need him, too.

Hi Maroux, and congrats on starting your journey!
Do you have a dietician on your surgery team? You should have one, and they'll be able to help you with meal plans and advice on what to eat. While you will have to make sure you're getting Protein, you'll have some guidance from your dietician/nutritionist on how to achieve that.
It's also slow going! So you won't be immediately dropped into a new diet, it will be a slow shift from a liquid diet, to puree, to soft foods before you're eating regular food again.
I'm someone who loves to cook, and honestly I barely get to flex at this early stage of my post-surgery journey! I make a pot of something nutritious like a stew, puree it, and freeze the excess, so I don't have to think at all about meal prep. Once I move onto regular food, it will be different, but again - my dietician supplies food ideas and because there will always be leftovers, frozen portions will make things a lot easier day-to-day.
You'll do fine! I'm assuming you eat meat? If so, it'll be a doddle. 😉

This is the infamous Week 3 Stall that happens to most of us, and will typically last 1-3 weeks. Mine hit one week after surgery and I'm only now just coming out of it. It's definitely frustrating, but completely normal. Your body has just gone through a major trauma and has had its wiring rearranged. It needs to take small "time-outs" to have a think about how the new system is going to work - which is what drives a stall. So stay off the scale, keep doing what you need to do, and your body will get back to losing once it's had a little time to adjust. When you think about what your body has to do, it's really amazing that it only wants a couple of weeks pause!
My scale number fluctuated a whole kilogram during my stall, which isn't fat gain so don't worry about that. You'll get back to losing once the stall breaks - and it will.
There's thousands of threads on the forum about stalls, so do a search of those if you want to see what good company you're in. Stalls will happen more than once, it's just part of the process.

Try eating with a teaspoon or small spoon, and after each bite, put your spoon down and concentrate on chewing. Holding the spoon or fork allows for that subconscious shoveling impulse to still be switched on. I used to eat SUPER quickly and big mouthfuls and barely chew, so I've been doing this to create a "new normal".

Oh boy, I'm so sorry he's doing this to you. Self esteem issues are complex and his behaviour is a checklist of that. He's nagging about doing it through diet/exercise because he knows that way leads to failure, and your success also makes him feel bad about his own failure to lose. Plus the "our fatness keeps us together" thing. Such a mess to unpick, I really hope he comes around.
My partner was also resistant initially. He never badgered me, or said nasty things, but he'd go quiet and I'd know something was up (and it's worth noting that he's thin and has never had food issues like me). When I got my initial consult appointment, it came to a head. I asked what was wrong, and he admitted that he wasn't happy about me doing this, that it was extreme etc. Well ... i lost it. I'd been planning and waiting for this for at least a year and a half, and I couldn't hold my emotions in and I just broke down and in an unstoppable monologue, told him how utterly miserable I was, how I wasn't living, how I wanted my life back, how I wanted to feel I could socialise again and not be mortified by my appearance, how I wanted to go with him to events and not be ashamed and worried that everyone was thinking "what's he doing with that fat pig" (my exact words to him). I let it all out. How my life for the last decade has been utterly, utterly miserable.
He had no idea I'd been feeling like this. He was stunned. I'm not a "talk about our emotions" person and prefer to make jokes and keep life light, so this was stuff I should have told him a long time ago, but hey, better late than never I guess. It changed the ratio for him, and realising how I really felt, he was then 100% on board with me.
We've a different situation of course, and I'm not suggesting "losing it and breaking down in a wailing mess" is the fix, but I definitely learned a "clear communication is probably a good idea" lesson.
I really hope you can get through to him.

Try eating with a teaspoon or small spoon, and after each bite, put your spoon down and concentrate on chewing. Holding the spoon or fork allows for that subconscious shoveling impulse to still be switched on. I used to eat SUPER quickly and big mouthfuls and barely chew, so I've been doing this to create a "new normal".

Oh boy, I'm so sorry he's doing this to you. Self esteem issues are complex and his behaviour is a checklist of that. He's nagging about doing it through diet/exercise because he knows that way leads to failure, and your success also makes him feel bad about his own failure to lose. Plus the "our fatness keeps us together" thing. Such a mess to unpick, I really hope he comes around.
My partner was also resistant initially. He never badgered me, or said nasty things, but he'd go quiet and I'd know something was up (and it's worth noting that he's thin and has never had food issues like me). When I got my initial consult appointment, it came to a head. I asked what was wrong, and he admitted that he wasn't happy about me doing this, that it was extreme etc. Well ... i lost it. I'd been planning and waiting for this for at least a year and a half, and I couldn't hold my emotions in and I just broke down and in an unstoppable monologue, told him how utterly miserable I was, how I wasn't living, how I wanted my life back, how I wanted to feel I could socialise again and not be mortified by my appearance, how I wanted to go with him to events and not be ashamed and worried that everyone was thinking "what's he doing with that fat pig" (my exact words to him). I let it all out. How my life for the last decade has been utterly, utterly miserable.
He had no idea I'd been feeling like this. He was stunned. I'm not a "talk about our emotions" person and prefer to make jokes and keep life light, so this was stuff I should have told him a long time ago, but hey, better late than never I guess. It changed the ratio for him, and realising how I really felt, he was then 100% on board with me.
We've a different situation of course, and I'm not suggesting "losing it and breaking down in a wailing mess" is the fix, but I definitely learned a "clear communication is probably a good idea" lesson.
I really hope you can get through to him.

This is the infamous Week 3 Stall that happens to most of us, and will typically last 1-3 weeks. Mine hit one week after surgery and I'm only now just coming out of it. It's definitely frustrating, but completely normal. Your body has just gone through a major trauma and has had its wiring rearranged. It needs to take small "time-outs" to have a think about how the new system is going to work - which is what drives a stall. So stay off the scale, keep doing what you need to do, and your body will get back to losing once it's had a little time to adjust. When you think about what your body has to do, it's really amazing that it only wants a couple of weeks pause!
My scale number fluctuated a whole kilogram during my stall, which isn't fat gain so don't worry about that. You'll get back to losing once the stall breaks - and it will.
There's thousands of threads on the forum about stalls, so do a search of those if you want to see what good company you're in. Stalls will happen more than once, it's just part of the process.

This is the infamous Week 3 Stall that happens to most of us, and will typically last 1-3 weeks. Mine hit one week after surgery and I'm only now just coming out of it. It's definitely frustrating, but completely normal. Your body has just gone through a major trauma and has had its wiring rearranged. It needs to take small "time-outs" to have a think about how the new system is going to work - which is what drives a stall. So stay off the scale, keep doing what you need to do, and your body will get back to losing once it's had a little time to adjust. When you think about what your body has to do, it's really amazing that it only wants a couple of weeks pause!
My scale number fluctuated a whole kilogram during my stall, which isn't fat gain so don't worry about that. You'll get back to losing once the stall breaks - and it will.
There's thousands of threads on the forum about stalls, so do a search of those if you want to see what good company you're in. Stalls will happen more than once, it's just part of the process.

I haven't had surgery yet, but I've seen the surgeon, the nutrionists, and had some of the insurance required tests already. I still have a few things to do, but the surgeon said he thinks I should be able to have it in November.
So wouldn't you know that the moment I commented on one of the posts here about unsupportive boyfriend MY husband decides that he does not want me to have surgery. First he said he is worried something will happen to me, then he says I can do it by exercise and diet, and then today he said that he met me heavy and he wants me to be like how I was when we first met. Honestly I think he is worried that if I get thin that I will leave him, which I would not leave him but he told me that he will not support me on my decision to have it. He said we will get a divorce. He had already told me that he would not take to me or pick me up from the hospital and that he wouldn't take care of me at home, and I needed to call my sister to come and do it all.
It is very odd because we have been together 12 or 13 years, married for ten of those years and he has never been that way with me. He says he loves me but he sure isn't acting like it. I think in the end he will go along with it but for now he has really upset me. His parents said they would help me when it comes time for my surgery.

Each time I drink a shake he asks me why I'm still doing that diet. I just tell him it's because it's easier than eating at the moment.
I guess I should mention that I've already lost some weight and now he is heavier than me.....not by much but he knows I'm going to keep losing and he is struggling to lose it, but he has started to the gym and hopefully he can lose it and won't feel so insecure.

I really do think he will change when it comes to surgery time, but for now I'm just dealing with him nagging me about the diet and exercise.
I'm all about exercise, but I'm healing from some tendon surgery so I have to wait until after my physical therapy for my whole body.

Has anybody else had a spouse that didn't want to support their surgery in the beginning but changed their mind later?

No I have not tried that. I’ll have to though. I love this site, so many ideas that would never cross my mind. And I hope so. It will make 3 weeks on Friday and same. Have had no more than 600 calories a day and I work out 2-3 times a week depending on my knees and ankle. And still Not a pound lost since the initial weight loss after surgery. I do feel feel relieved knowing this will pass. Lol. Thank you for the encouragement and the advice. I will try that!

Try eating with a teaspoon or small spoon, and after each bite, put your spoon down and concentrate on chewing. Holding the spoon or fork allows for that subconscious shoveling impulse to still be switched on. I used to eat SUPER quickly and big mouthfuls and barely chew, so I've been doing this to create a "new normal".

Sweet things for me also. It was mild at first, but three weeks out and getting the Protein Shakes and Protein Water down isn't fun. I have a less sweet Protein Shake that's not as bad, but I really don't like sweet things at all. I have a physical reaction to them a bit like a blood-sugar dip, which is irritating because in order to meet my protein intake, I unfortunately need these drinks.

While I wouldn't call it "weird", as this topic asks (and I can't find a regular-NSV thread):
My rosacea has gone! It literally vanished about six days out of hospital, and hasn't come back. My skin hasn't been this clear in a LONG time, and I can't recall the last time my face was the same colour as my neck.
Was not expecting this bonus, as I have reactive skin, but I am thrilled.

While I wouldn't call it "weird", as this topic asks (and I can't find a regular-NSV thread):
My rosacea has gone! It literally vanished about six days out of hospital, and hasn't come back. My skin hasn't been this clear in a LONG time, and I can't recall the last time my face was the same colour as my neck.
Was not expecting this bonus, as I have reactive skin, but I am thrilled.

While I wouldn't call it "weird", as this topic asks (and I can't find a regular-NSV thread):
My rosacea has gone! It literally vanished about six days out of hospital, and hasn't come back. My skin hasn't been this clear in a LONG time, and I can't recall the last time my face was the same colour as my neck.
Was not expecting this bonus, as I have reactive skin, but I am thrilled.

I’m a month post op and I can see my girl parts again from my stomach shrinking… Hey there hey

While I wouldn't call it "weird", as this topic asks (and I can't find a regular-NSV thread):
My rosacea has gone! It literally vanished about six days out of hospital, and hasn't come back. My skin hasn't been this clear in a LONG time, and I can't recall the last time my face was the same colour as my neck.
Was not expecting this bonus, as I have reactive skin, but I am thrilled.

While I wouldn't call it "weird", as this topic asks (and I can't find a regular-NSV thread):
My rosacea has gone! It literally vanished about six days out of hospital, and hasn't come back. My skin hasn't been this clear in a LONG time, and I can't recall the last time my face was the same colour as my neck.
Was not expecting this bonus, as I have reactive skin, but I am thrilled.

While I wouldn't call it "weird", as this topic asks (and I can't find a regular-NSV thread):
My rosacea has gone! It literally vanished about six days out of hospital, and hasn't come back. My skin hasn't been this clear in a LONG time, and I can't recall the last time my face was the same colour as my neck.
Was not expecting this bonus, as I have reactive skin, but I am thrilled.

While I wouldn't call it "weird", as this topic asks (and I can't find a regular-NSV thread):
My rosacea has gone! It literally vanished about six days out of hospital, and hasn't come back. My skin hasn't been this clear in a LONG time, and I can't recall the last time my face was the same colour as my neck.
Was not expecting this bonus, as I have reactive skin, but I am thrilled.