Smanky

I know it's almost automatic to assume that post-surgery life is going to be punitive and you'll never ever ever eat any "naughty" thing again but that is untrue. The restrictive phase isn't forever, and there will be pizza and cake in the future. The only difference is you won't be wanting more than a couple of bites, so it'll be an occasional treat and you'll be fine with that!
Once slip up isn't going to ruin things if you've stuck to the pre-op plan well the rest of the time. But absolutely be upfront and honest with the surgeon regardless.

Give yourself space and time to heal. It's 3 weeks. At the size most of us are/were at surgery, weight loss ISN'T visible until months after. I know it's hard, but try to block out the voices of others, it's not helpful. Concentrate on healing, be patient, focus on the plan and distract yourself where possible. You'll be experiencing non-scale-victories frequently, so enjoy those as they come.
I honestly didn't get any "you're looking smaller" comments until a good 3/4 months after surgery. I was 130kg and wore my weight from head to toe, so even a ten kilogram loss wasn't a big visual change at that stage.

Pro-tip: Wear them lots the second you can fit! The window of time for wearing clothes in those mid-loss sizes is startlingly short! I had a bunch of clothes waiting to fit, including some Torrid (size 1) stuff that I bought waaaaaay back in the early 2000s when Torrid was still a subculture store, and never got to enjoy them because when I finally tried them on again, they were too big! Now they're just sentimental keepsakes. 🤪

Give yourself space and time to heal. It's 3 weeks. At the size most of us are/were at surgery, weight loss ISN'T visible until months after. I know it's hard, but try to block out the voices of others, it's not helpful. Concentrate on healing, be patient, focus on the plan and distract yourself where possible. You'll be experiencing non-scale-victories frequently, so enjoy those as they come.
I honestly didn't get any "you're looking smaller" comments until a good 3/4 months after surgery. I was 130kg and wore my weight from head to toe, so even a ten kilogram loss wasn't a big visual change at that stage.

Give yourself space and time to heal. It's 3 weeks. At the size most of us are/were at surgery, weight loss ISN'T visible until months after. I know it's hard, but try to block out the voices of others, it's not helpful. Concentrate on healing, be patient, focus on the plan and distract yourself where possible. You'll be experiencing non-scale-victories frequently, so enjoy those as they come.
I honestly didn't get any "you're looking smaller" comments until a good 3/4 months after surgery. I was 130kg and wore my weight from head to toe, so even a ten kilogram loss wasn't a big visual change at that stage.

Congrats, Summerseeker! We started around the same time, so it's fantastic to see you hit another milestone!
The shifting-goal thing is a personal choice I think, and it's ok if you stop while still in an "overweight" BMI because of what Catwoman said about the extra scaffolding we acquired from our years of obesity. I'm not even in the middle of a normal BMI yet, but I actually think I'm starting to look frail and bony and I don't think I like it. So I'll be looking at hitting the brakes, though it's hard because I keep losing slowly without meaning to now. You may find you still lose over time.

Congrats, Summerseeker! We started around the same time, so it's fantastic to see you hit another milestone!
The shifting-goal thing is a personal choice I think, and it's ok if you stop while still in an "overweight" BMI because of what Catwoman said about the extra scaffolding we acquired from our years of obesity. I'm not even in the middle of a normal BMI yet, but I actually think I'm starting to look frail and bony and I don't think I like it. So I'll be looking at hitting the brakes, though it's hard because I keep losing slowly without meaning to now. You may find you still lose over time.

So I did it, I got to onederland, a place I dreamt of but did not ever believe I would attain. I thought loosing 100lbs was a reach but I ran through that. I was on a super high until I wanted to change my next goal weight. The BMI doodah says that I am still in the obese range, damn. 150 to 180lbs is still classed as overweight, do I really need to get another 49 lbs off my already skinny bod to be in the 'normal' range ? What are your thoughts on a new goal weight ?

Nobody has said that. In fact, everyone's said the opposite.

Yes to this one too! The bench stools at the airport that are bolted into the floor, with a metal back that I never used to sit in (I'd stand at the bench instead) are now super roomy and I could plop a child on my lap and still fit. No-Longer-Fearing-Chairs is honestly one of the enduring NSV high-points. 🤸‍♀️

WLS is a "hard way" of losing weight. The notion that it's "the easy way out" or a "magic wand" is pure ignorance. WLS is just a tool and it's still a life-long adjustment to a healthier way of eating, and it still includes exercise and calorie counting. Your husband (along with many others in society!) needs to understand this. If he's resistant to understanding that, then there's other stuff at play behind his anti-WLS stance. I would also question why "the hard way" is so essential? Why is that so important, versus choosing an alternative route that gets results? Why is the journey being a difficult one so essential here? Again, the surgery option is plenty difficult, but just trying to unpack the logic behind his stance.
My partner was initially unhappy with my choice, until I finally broke down and really let him know how utterly miserable I was in my morbidly obese body. I had tried "the hard way" all my life and failed. He very quickly changed his stance and got on board, and has been a great support since.
And he can see the change in me not just physically but mentally. I am happy again. I have my sex-drive back. I want to go out again. It's not just weight loss. Your husband needs to know that. And surely he wants that for you? If not... again, there's other stuff going on in that case.
I'm sorry you're having a hard time with him over this. It's stressful enough without added emotional strain. I hope he can open his eyes and get on board for your health and happiness.

If you know the plan and can't stick to it just a few months after taking the big big step to have surgery then I would seriously advocate finding a therapist who specialises in bariatric surgery patients. I say this only with support and sympathy - I do not do 'holier than thou' ever. So many people have travelled the same road. It is SO SO hard not to eat when our hunger comes back. What we need to ensure is that the prospect of eating healthy food is preferable to the option to eat crap. If you can re-frame your relationship with food now you still have plenty of time to make the most of your chance.
I do wish you the very best of luck.

If I "cheat" for more than a couple days, my body tells me it's not happy. I have a specific, consistent routine and that includes what foods I eat. Eating poorly makes me feel horrible. That's my motivation; I can and do eat things that aren't on my diet in limited amounts, but it's one meal in an entire day and I'm very careful about portions. I rarely put more food in front of myself than I am comfortable eating to eliminate the temptation (even in restaurants, I will ask for a box WITH my plate and put away everything I don't intend to eat in that sitting before I even pick up a fork.)
Basically, I've been there, I've done that enough times to know that a couple days of having to eat extra-healthy to get back on track is a frustrating thing I don't feel is worth it anymore, so I stick with my plan really closely. I'm two weeks short of being 18 months out and my primary issue is being able to keep what little weight I have left ON. I actually have to track my food to make sure I am eating enough to maintain.

My paranoia about the wounds in my stomach and new intestine join had me taking super gentle sips of allowed liquid after surgery. I could definitely feel it going down. That paranoia stayed with me right through to about the fourth month, well after my incisions would have been completely healed.
Move around as much as your body allows to help get rid of the gas. I did laps around the wards as often as I could to get mine to shift.

Hi, certified vegan bypasser here! 🤓 It's totally doable, and I've had no issues at all hitting my Protein goals both with and without vegan protein Water. The protein water has been a big help, but honestly, even if I wasn't vegan I'd still be using the protein water as there are days when I just want to eat vegetables and don't want to deal with heavy seitans.
Speaking of, seitan (wheat meat/faux meats) are the best source of high protein I've found. The best ones can be sourced from good Chinese grocers in the freezer section. If you have a Trader Joes or Wholefoods near you, I expect they'd have a great vegan section. Some examples of the protein counts in the seitans I have access to:
Chinese supermarket Not Pork 100g serve = 165 cal, 21g protein
Chinese supermarket Not Duck 100g serve = 150 cal, 19g protein
Princess G brand "Crispy G" 100g serve = 266 cal, 17g protein
Sayur Not Pork 100g serve = 155 cal, 21g protein

Lamyong is another great faux meat brand. But if you can't source good faux meats, good old tofu comes through:

Firm Tofu (½ cup/126g) = 181 cal, 21.8g protein

Marinate that tofu in something delicious, and fry it up with some asian greens!

Some mung bean pastas are high in protein. Not the nicest wheat Pasta substitute, but with a nice tangy Tomato sauce and a little vegan Parmesan, it's acceptable. Also check the nutritional info on the back of Gardein products, I think they're pretty easy to find.

Soy milk has about 8g of protein per serve, so that's another way of slipping some extra protein in, especially if you can tolerate Protein Shakes. Protein fortified soy milk (10g per serve) in a plant based Protein Shake gives me a whopping 40g of protein in one go, so again, on days when I'm just craving vegetables, I can do a shake for Breakfast and a protein water or two throughout the day and easily hit my goals.

Some vegetables are also higher in protein, like edamame, but I honestly just stick with protein water and seitans, as that's what I enjoy.

Hope that helps!

We all have, which is why for most of us, this was our last remaining option. I can't add anything to what Catwoman said, but just know that we've all been there. Most of us hit rock-bottom before opting for surgery, I know I sure did, physically and emotionally.
I liken my surgery to having a co-pilot, or "the adult in the room", or my latest favourite analogy: the monkey that sits on my shoulder and slaps me upside the head any time I think I may wander off my plan. It works! I absolutely love my shoulder-monkey, which has successfully stopped the single main reason I always failed: self-sabotage.

Some foods are easier to eat in a bigger quantity than others. pizza may something you're able to eat more of. For me, I can now eat three Vietnamese rice paper rolls in one sitting. I'm very full after, but I can eat all three. But if I try to eat a sandwich or other bread-based meal, I can manage a couple of bites before I have to tap out. Thin crust pizza sounds like something that could be a slider food for you, perhaps.
So I don't think it's unusual so far out from surgery, it just depends on the food and why calorie counting remains so important. Ask your surgeon anyway, just because you should get the thoughts of your team on anything you're concerned about.

So make 181/size 14 your initial goal weight. This is what my surgeon gave me - a goal weight of about 80kg which would have me wearing an AU size 14 (US size 10). In the past I had gotten down to where I could fit into a large size 12 (US size 8), so instead of 80kg, I made my goal 75kg. I had been close to there before, so I could picture it. When you hit the more familiar intitial goal, then make a new one that's closer to the one suggested to you, and so on.
When you're at the start of the process it does feel unattainable and like you'll never get there. I expect this is a universal feeling, especially when there's so much weight to lose (I've literally lost an entire person). But it does come off, and one day you'll weigh yourself and be staring at your goal weight on the scale and needing someone to pinch you. I've passed goal and am about to fit into a size I have not touched since I was a kid. Madness! I'd have absolutely lost that bet, yet here I am.
TL:DR - Don't let the length of the process intimidate you, there are so many mini victories along the way. In 12 months time, you'll be living what you may right now have trouble visualising.

Regardless of which procedure you decide on, this is a lifestyle change. If you don't already have one I suggest talking to a mental health professional before scheduling your big day.
I was leaning towards a bypass, but my doctors shared with me that the bypass comes with a lot more risk, and that for the types of medications I take, a sleeve would be best. I am now 3 days post-op and while I used to have a severe sweet tooth, I can honestly say that it's been difficult to choke down some of these Protein Shakes because they're simply TOO sweet.
This is a big change, and I hope that you can find a comfortable place emotionally/mentally to pick a date.

Good luck!

I had lots of mini goals, I didn't want to disappoint myself, go off track and sabotage myself like I always did. In reality, I am unable to sabotage myself unless I eat around my plan. I try not to.
My initial goal was to be healthier. Tick.
Then to pass in a crowd. Without stares. Tick
Next to go in any shop to buy clothes or shoes because I never have. Tick
My latest one is Onderland and its taking its time to get there.
I don't hold much store in comparing my former self with clothes sizes because they have changed to be bigger in my life time

So I read an interesting article early on in my research obsession that stuck with me. It said most people who get weight loss surgery are shocked when they "actually loose the weight". Meaning we are all so used to yo yo diets and unsuccessful attempts that when we ACTUALLY loose a significant amount we are shocked. Its almost like we are wired to not really believe its going to happen for us until it does and we are surprised. I think about that article a lot when "goal weights" are mentioned to me. I feel super unsure about setting a goal weight for myself.

I will never understand this bizarre notion people seem to have that an "easy way out" for weight loss is a bad thing even if it did exist. Like... why does it need to be a struggle to be ok? Do we need weight loss to be some epic f***ing crawl across a flaming desert of despair to be acceptable to people who aren't involved? Does my head in.
Makes me inclined to answer "my own hard work" when asked how I lost so much weight. It's not anyone's business anyway.
Also: you look AMAZING! Seriously. And that top you're wearing is gorgeous on you!

Pro-tip: Wear them lots the second you can fit! The window of time for wearing clothes in those mid-loss sizes is startlingly short! I had a bunch of clothes waiting to fit, including some Torrid (size 1) stuff that I bought waaaaaay back in the early 2000s when Torrid was still a subculture store, and never got to enjoy them because when I finally tried them on again, they were too big! Now they're just sentimental keepsakes. 🤪

So make 181/size 14 your initial goal weight. This is what my surgeon gave me - a goal weight of about 80kg which would have me wearing an AU size 14 (US size 10). In the past I had gotten down to where I could fit into a large size 12 (US size 8), so instead of 80kg, I made my goal 75kg. I had been close to there before, so I could picture it. When you hit the more familiar intitial goal, then make a new one that's closer to the one suggested to you, and so on.
When you're at the start of the process it does feel unattainable and like you'll never get there. I expect this is a universal feeling, especially when there's so much weight to lose (I've literally lost an entire person). But it does come off, and one day you'll weigh yourself and be staring at your goal weight on the scale and needing someone to pinch you. I've passed goal and am about to fit into a size I have not touched since I was a kid. Madness! I'd have absolutely lost that bet, yet here I am.
TL:DR - Don't let the length of the process intimidate you, there are so many mini victories along the way. In 12 months time, you'll be living what you may right now have trouble visualising.

So make 181/size 14 your initial goal weight. This is what my surgeon gave me - a goal weight of about 80kg which would have me wearing an AU size 14 (US size 10). In the past I had gotten down to where I could fit into a large size 12 (US size 8), so instead of 80kg, I made my goal 75kg. I had been close to there before, so I could picture it. When you hit the more familiar intitial goal, then make a new one that's closer to the one suggested to you, and so on.
When you're at the start of the process it does feel unattainable and like you'll never get there. I expect this is a universal feeling, especially when there's so much weight to lose (I've literally lost an entire person). But it does come off, and one day you'll weigh yourself and be staring at your goal weight on the scale and needing someone to pinch you. I've passed goal and am about to fit into a size I have not touched since I was a kid. Madness! I'd have absolutely lost that bet, yet here I am.
TL:DR - Don't let the length of the process intimidate you, there are so many mini victories along the way. In 12 months time, you'll be living what you may right now have trouble visualising.