Esi

The Question: “When did you stop buying new clothes?”
My Answer: Never! 😂
With that said though, “New Clothes” purchases started its significant rise around 4 months (when i shrunk out of my horde of “skinny clothes” i kept over the years); peaked at about 1 year (omg i was a shopaholic around that time), and levelled off since then (i’ll be 4 yrs post in October).
If resources allow, i say there ain’t nothing wrong at all with getting some cute outfits that fit PROPERLY….looking good generally makes you FEEL good, which does wonders for your confidence, which makes all the difference with dealing with life in general (including weight loss/maintenance!)
Good Luck! ❤️

Watched this 2021 UK documentary yesterday & it was very interesting. Dr Chris van Tulleken put himself on an ultra processed diet to see the impacts on his health. The results were quite frightening & also thought provoking. Within a month his body was producing more hunger hormones & fewer of the full/satiated hormones. He was never full & was always hungry. His brain was creating new links which are very similar to those formed with alcohol, cigarette & drug addictions. And of course the expected increases in weight, cholesterol, etc. Scariest was that they don’t believe some of these changes will ever be completely reversed by returning to a low processed diet.
Could explain the struggle many of us continue to experience with hunger, cravings, etc.
Worth watching if you can find it. I watched it on Netflix here in Australia.

I agree wholeheartedly with @liveaboard15. Such people as your aunt are poison.
Tell her that if she wants you dead then she gets her wish: You're dead to her. And never talk to her again.
Family doesn't get special rights or privileges to treat you like carp. Cut her out. If she visits go to another room, or 'run an errand.'
If other family hound you about 'respect' or 'honoring elders' or push visiting with the aunt remind them that she wants you dead. You're just giving her what she wants: one less niece. Tell them if they keep pushing you into a taxic situation they can be added to the ignore list.
Life is to short to spend any of it on your aunt or anyone else that can't treat you with, at a minimum, basic courtesy.
You are your first priority.
Good luck,
Tek

I can totally relate to a lot of this. I was 48 when I had surgery 2 years ago and did not look my age. I have also lost over 200 pounds. Now I definitely look my age or older and I don't recognize myself sometimes. I did not have wrinkles before and now I do. That bugs me. But I just try to remind myself why I did this, and it was to get my life and health back. I do have energy now, so I'm lucky there. I probably have a more relaxed eating approach than a lot of people. I do not believe in good or bad foods. I have no forbidden foods. I pretty much eat what I want. Luckily, even before I did this, I preferred healthy foods like veggies and did not like things like fast food or fried food. I am proof you can be fat on healthy food. Too much of a good thing is still too much. I have "junk" like ice cream when I want it. Like, I am not a chocolate person except during PMS, and then it's like I NEED it and I have some. I just keep my portions of everything much more reasonable now.
I do track food just to make sure I get my Protein and keep my carbs reasonable but I'm not completely militant either. It certainly can be exhausting tracking everything, but I can't promise that I track every single taste. I just make sure to track all my meals and Snacks. For 2 years, this has worked for me. I have eaten this way the whole time. If something changes, I will adjust, but for now it's working. I just started maintenance so we will see how that goes.
I am lucky that I don't work at the moment. I am an RN, but when my son was born I stayed home with him (11.5 years ago! [emoji15]) and I've been planning to go back but something always happened to keep me home. I really do plan to get another job soon.
I know what you mean about work t extra hard as a fat person. I always felt like I wanted people to see that I wasn't lazy just because I was fat, because all fat people aren't lazy! It will be nice not having to worry about that when I go back. I became a nurse in 1997, and I was fat the whole time I worked, so that will be a first.
I do live in fear every day of gaining all my weight back, but I hope that if I keep eating like I'm eating I will be OK. That is all I can do.
When I look at all the loose skin, it can be discouraging sometimes. It's really bad on my arms and legs, but I know how hard I have worked to lose weight and even if I didn't have a weight problem, skin does tend to sag as you get older, and I am going to be 51 in 2 weeks. I would love to have it all removed, but it's just not in the budget right now since I paid out of pocket for my surgery. Maybe it will be when I get a job, but I refuse to be ashamed of my body. I'm proud that it carried me through being so morbidly obese for so long and it's still here carrying me. It has put up with a lot of stress and it has been strong for all of it. I'm definitely weaker than I was but I'm working on strength training now.
I know I'm rambling here but I just want to say you're not alone in your feelings.
You have accomplished so much. Just try to remember that!

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K, so i think about food all the time, both before, during, and still now after surgery.
But I “behaved” differently throughout those stages too. The focus before was to eat it, and as much as I could. Now the focus is everything else about it.
I don’t *think* i suffer any angst around this though, so that is a good thing. I am just fascinated about everything that has to do with food. Not sure if this is good for me or not, but i’ve long since learned to just go with it.
I may or not be a minority in this but i do really enjoy eating (or more accurately, tasting) lots of different things. I don’t see food as fuel like the many other successful weight-losers who employ this method. I prefer to enjoy eating what i do eat since I have so little real estate to work with.
Now, I can’t say if this will continue to work for me in the future…but it works for me now, so i’m just gonna go with it until it doesn’t…and will re-evaluate if/when it does (saves me alot of angst).
Now, i sort of digressed there for a little bit, but i actually wanted to respond to OP: while you have navigated the weight loss road (successfully!) for two years (congratulations!), i get the sense that you are still in either weight-loss mode or gearing-up-for-maintenance mode?
If the former, you’ve been at it for a while and it would seem only natural to be experiencing some sort of burn-out or fatigue. You’re tired, things didn’t turn out with what you half-expected. Despite this though, i applaud your attitude and recognition of your achievements.
If the latter, i’ve read enough on here that the transition from wl-mode to maintenance is not easy. Its not the diet changes that are as difficult as the mental mind bending that is required to not only change a lifestyle you’ve grown accustomed to, but also to the reflection you see in the mirror…and whether you like what you see. Alot of folks had some serious energy/strength depletion near the end (myself included…i too struggled to open those effing pickle jars).
Its cliché, but the only thing i can add to all the fab posts above is Patience (though I think you already know this). Do what you need to do to get through the day (talk, exercise, vent, busy-ness, therapy, sleep, medication, etc.)
It won’t always be this way, and even if it is, you may find a way to accept it regardless.
You’ve done fabulously, and even if you don’t sound so terribly thrilled about it (who says we have to be thrilled anyway?!), you are dealing just as fabulously.
❤️
P.S. sorry this was so long.

So sorry you have been going through this, Sue. You’re not alone. I also have less energy then I did before. The energy drops come from low blood pressure & low heart rate like you. I’ve wondered if I could have bradycardia too or be close to it. Plus throw in some random hypoglycaemic episodes & it can make for an interesting day.
My BP usually sits around high 50s - 70s over low 40s - high 50s. My heart rate is usually in the 60s but can be lower. When I had the skin graft on my thumb last year, the nurses were very concerned with how low my BP was & my pulse. They even asked if I was an athlete which made me, my friends & family laugh. Nope, just seems to be me I told them.
A difference may be that I used to experience this whenever I was at a lower weight (60-65kg) too but not as severely or as frequently as now. My friends used to laugh back then when I said I don’t exercise much because I could have these drops where I’d almost collapse. They thought it was just a joke excuse until they were with me when it happened. Boy did they panic. So I believe this is really a pre existing condition for me & I experience it all the time now because I weigh less. (A tendency towards low blood pressure & pressure drops does run in my family.) If I put on 10kg it would probably improve but I don’t want to put on weight.
I too was always that person at work before others & still there after most left, taking on additional work, helping others do their work, working on weekends & rostered days off, …. And yes I was very happy with how I worked & my commitment to my job & employer. So I get you feel you’re letting people down now. But I look back & realise how many actually took advantage of my work ethic: colleagues & bosses. I also realised I gave up a lot of my free time, turned down social events & sacrificed my personal life for work & for nothing. Didn’t get the promotions, the pay rises or even acknowledgement. It was like they just expected I would do it. At least your commitment & efforts are recognised. I get a bit angry & sad about it when I look back can’t you tell. It contributed to my decision not to work anymore last year at 56.
I’ve learnt how to manage the low energy, BP, etc. easier because I don’t work though. I pace myself during the day & I’ll take breaks if out. I’m careful when I stand & make sure I have something close by I can grab if my vision goes. If I am doing anything more active, I take hydralyte with me for an energy boost. I don’t always remember & sometimes my day works against me but I do the best I can in the situation.
But like you, I don’t regret my surgery at all. I’m so very happy I did it & wouldn’t change a thing.

Yes! Some people just don’t understand. WLS is still losing the “natural way” by changing one’s diet. It’s just we are put on a more level playing field as far as appetite and stomach capacity. I don’t have time nor energy to deal with judgmental people so the less they know the better.

Another idea that I learned from someone on a post a while back: if you had any other medical condition, and sought treatment for it, are you obligated to be truthful with anyone who asks about you? Such as mental health—does anyone deserve to know that someone takes medication for depression?

Up to you! No one’s business unless you want them to know. I said I was having surgery, and when I returned to work, basically said I was eating differently when asked about the weight loss. (Which makes me uncomfortable to have people ask about my body)
I had tried and failed so many years that I didn’t have confidence WLS would work. If I didn’t lose weight, I figured people would say that I was such a glutton that even surgery wouldn’t help. If I lost weight, people would say I took the easy way out.
I did tell my husband and two family members who protect my privacy.

Yes! Some people just don’t understand. WLS is still losing the “natural way” by changing one’s diet. It’s just we are put on a more level playing field as far as appetite and stomach capacity. I don’t have time nor energy to deal with judgmental people so the less they know the better.

Another idea that I learned from someone on a post a while back: if you had any other medical condition, and sought treatment for it, are you obligated to be truthful with anyone who asks about you? Such as mental health—does anyone deserve to know that someone takes medication for depression?

Oh no! Was the Soup very hot? Protein Powder can clump in heat. Maybe try letting the soup cool a bit? My oatmeal cools for 15 minutes before I add protein powder.
Protein powder is also excellent in pancake batter and cookie batter.

Im not sure the ones who don’t broadcast are necessarily “embarrassed” (though some may be, as i cant presume to speak for all).
Embarrassment implies shame, which is not the same as being private.
Tell/don’t tell. To each their own. ❤️

Yes! Some people just don’t understand. WLS is still losing the “natural way” by changing one’s diet. It’s just we are put on a more level playing field as far as appetite and stomach capacity. I don’t have time nor energy to deal with judgmental people so the less they know the better.

I had sugar free ice cream about 3 months post op. I have it a few times a year and enjoy it still!

Another idea that I learned from someone on a post a while back: if you had any other medical condition, and sought treatment for it, are you obligated to be truthful with anyone who asks about you? Such as mental health—does anyone deserve to know that someone takes medication for depression?

I hate Protein Shakes, too! After surgery, they tasted too sweet and made me vomit.
I tried to get my Protein from savory foods at first. Bone Broth with canned chicken, chewed very well, worked. However, initially I was not able to eat enough of this.
What helped me was finding an unflavored Protein Powder, and mixing it into Soup, cream of wheat, etc. Try Syntrax unflavored protein powder.

I hate Protein Shakes, too! After surgery, they tasted too sweet and made me vomit.
I tried to get my Protein from savory foods at first. Bone Broth with canned chicken, chewed very well, worked. However, initially I was not able to eat enough of this.
What helped me was finding an unflavored Protein Powder, and mixing it into Soup, cream of wheat, etc. Try Syntrax unflavored protein powder.

Another idea that I learned from someone on a post a while back: if you had any other medical condition, and sought treatment for it, are you obligated to be truthful with anyone who asks about you? Such as mental health—does anyone deserve to know that someone takes medication for depression?

My surgery is this Friday and I have only my husband and close family that know about it. At the moment I have no desire to tell anyone. Most of my close friends have seen my weight fluctuate drastically. On another note, throughout this process (specifically endoscopy) I was diagnosed with Celiac Disease and my friends know about that diagnosis. My plan is to say that I am working with a dietician and really watching my food intake...which is true. I feel I have no need to expand after that.
I did tell my family not to tell anyone. Once I have the surgery, I may feel more relaxed and tell people but right now it is a definite NO. I told them that I am telling them for their support and not to have secrets. However, this is only my story to tell when and if I choose to reveal it.
Side note: it took me almost 10 years to get the Celiac diagnosis. Whenever I tried to explain my symptoms, my doctor would always say I have IBS and gastric issues because I am fat. I switched to a new doctor and I couldn't believe my ears when she said that my gastric issues were making me fat! I finally feel like I am on the right path!

Another idea that I learned from someone on a post a while back: if you had any other medical condition, and sought treatment for it, are you obligated to be truthful with anyone who asks about you? Such as mental health—does anyone deserve to know that someone takes medication for depression?

I had sugar free ice cream about 3 months post op. I have it a few times a year and enjoy it still!

Yes! Some people just don’t understand. WLS is still losing the “natural way” by changing one’s diet. It’s just we are put on a more level playing field as far as appetite and stomach capacity. I don’t have time nor energy to deal with judgmental people so the less they know the better.

Yes! Some people just don’t understand. WLS is still losing the “natural way” by changing one’s diet. It’s just we are put on a more level playing field as far as appetite and stomach capacity. I don’t have time nor energy to deal with judgmental people so the less they know the better.

I had sugar free ice cream about 3 months post op. I have it a few times a year and enjoy it still!