Leeyo84

@APJPollett I'm so glad I found your post! I really wanted to reply as soon as I read it, so I haven't read everything else that's been posted, but I will. I'm terrified of what I'm going to look like.I think about it every second of every minute. I'm 36, 280lbs 5'5". I've been fat all my life. I've grown attached to who I've become. I think I've used my fatness as a suit of armor. It's protected me from life. I wish I could accept myself as is and promote body positivity. I believe surgery is the right choice for me. I have health issues and I want to have a baby while I still can. But I still feel shitty and scared. Everything I've read online promises that everything is going to change. My relationship, my friendships, how people treat me. Everything is going to change, and it terrifies me to my core! I know how to be fat, I know how to handle people as a fat person... it's all I know. I don't know how to be anything other than. And I'm giving it all up to be something else. I'm worried about unwanted attention from men too. Usually my fat body and strong personality push men away, but what if by losing weight I become an easier target!? I'm just losing my mind a little. Mind you, it's the end of day one of my 2 week liquid diet and I did not enjoy today at all. I'm just venting. But I'm grateful that I found your post. Thank you.

@You Are My Sunshine thank you so much! I have a support system at home, kinda... friends and family are supportive, but it's difficult for them to understand. Not that they're not trying. I've been searching online for some sort of support group and finally found this forum. End of day one(13 more to go) and I have a mild headache. A few times today I totally questioned whether I really needed to do this. ? I'm committed, but I think the reality of it all is hitting harder than usual. I really appreciate your response! I feel less "alone".

Hello, Leo from New Mexico. I'm scheduled to have my surgery on the 27th. Started my liquid diet today. It was kinda rough. I feel hungry, I think. It's difficult to tell. I'm very nervous/excited. I'm also very scared of what's next. Would love to talk to others going through the same.