SoulGardener

Hi everyone. I had gastric bypass 2 years ago and have gone from 299lbs to 178lbs. I am able to see that I am smaller than before but I have become more and more obsessed with my weight and the fact that my BMI of 30 is still obese and can’t help to feel like I failed this surgery. Prior to my weight loss, I dreamed of being under 200lbs but now that I am here I can’t help but be so disappointed of how big I still am. Anyone else suffering from this?

I am scheduled for VSG on 5/5. 270 5’5.
I am pretty scared...

Hello everyone! It's been a hot minute since I've posted or even visited this page. I need to rant about myself & I know this is a safe, non-judgemental place to do so. I had my surgery on 9/13/20. When I got home from the hospital after a 2 night stay, I was SO HUNGRY. I told myself I wouldn't be a casualty of going off the rails, especially right away but that's what happened.
I hold myself fully accountable. I've most definitely stretched out my stomach although I know it's no where near what it was. My surgeon made my follow-ups for a month out then six months out. The surgeon's office had just switched from doing a month, three months, then six month follow-ups, although I've been told I can make an appointment anytime I want to, free of charge for the rest of my life. I wish I would've made an appointment right away for guidance, instead I listened to the lies my mind was telling me. Now I'm almost 7 months out. I'm down 40 pounds which I'm very happy about but I don't feel like I've "earned" that loss at all.
I know all the things I should be doing. I read & read & read before surgery- on this forum, books, other online resources, etc. I felt so ready. Silly me. I know I can get back on track right this minute & stop any more harm to my health and to my stomach size. I have a book sitting at home that I know will be fantastic at helping me. I ordered an adult tricycle that should be getting put together today or tomorrow. I even bought a $1,400 elliptical trainer I've used maybe 5 times.
I'm just so very disappointed in myself. I'm hoping this confession to y'all will relieve me of some of this guilt I'm carrying around. I feel like crying & if I could kick my own booty. Thanks for listening y'all.

I stalled week 2! It sucked but keep going you will get through it! Sending good vibes your way!

Rachel Goodman is an awesome dietician who offers online classes and support - she’s not specifically for bariatric patients though. But she does talk about the biology of dieting /starvation mode.

Oh wow! Thank you for the information! I genuinely did not know all of this. Is this typically the reason why allstalls and plateaus happen in weightloss?

It is a biological defense against starvation...developed by humans over tens of thousands of years of adapting to poor hunting seasons and bad harvests. It's why you're cold all the time, why you get constipated, why you run out of go, why you can feel cloudy and not quite yourself....your body just shuts down everthing possible to keep you from losing anymore weight because it thinks you're dying of starvation. Lots of critters have the adaptation. Torpor. Brumation. Hibernation.
Uban legend has it that sometimes kicking up your calories a little bit and doing more physical activity, getting more sunshine...can help snap your body out of it.
In another ten thousand years, maybe our bodies will develop a resistance to the excess calories that are shortening our lifespans.......but for now, they're still more into defending against starvation. If only we could explain it to them. LOL.

I like blasphemy, I’m a rebel at heart. I made the decision last week to stay off the scale but then thought oh I will check...not good. I will heed your advice and stick to my plan of the scale once a month.
Many thanks for the feedback!

Totally get that especially because in my previous life I struggled with very disordered eating - months at a time with little to no food followed by bingeing. That’s years ago but still, perhaps our body doesn’t forget. Thanks for the feedback!

I never understood this and don't understand what happens when I hear this. I always thought that if you burn more than you consume, your body has no choice but to lose weight. What is this stall?

My advice....up your calories and get off the scale for a couple weeks. Which, I realize sounds like blasphomy and utter madness...but it honestly might help.

While it is nearly impossible to exercise away a bad diet, just think how easy it is to eat 500 calories and how hard it is to work it off, exercise, including walking, provides a ton of health benefits. From everything I've read, it is also one of the keys to maintaining weight loss as muscle burns more calories than fat.
I've been walking really consistently since about a week after surgery. I added in other exercises at about the 9 month mark to continue to build strength, stamina and flexibility but still walk most days because its such a good mental break and the fresh air and sunshine has been great.

Even great doctors can have some really crappy people skills. You should be VERY proud of yourself for being able to walk two miles. Holy cow...I had my surgery done on Monday and I can barely make it out of bed to walk in little circles and use the bathroom. He may be one of those people with black-and-white thinking: either you're going completely by his playbook or you're WRONG! He may just one of those people who's impossible to impress.

You: Hey, doc! So I just got accepted into the Olympics, found out I was the world's fastest runner, and I'm going to be featured on a box of WHEATIES!
Doctor: Yeah, OK...but I see you only drank 63 ounces of Water yesterday. I TOLD YOU 64!!!!

He could have said that in another way. I think it is sooo great that you are walking. It speaks volumes to how seriously you are taking this lifestyle change. I think maaaaybe the doctor was trying to say it’s 80% diet and 20% exercise and wants you to make the diet a priority? I’m not sure, but in any case.. KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK

Think it was likely the amount of walking so early out post surgery. Your surgeon’s comments re sticking to your diet to lose weight is because exercise only accounts for 20% of any weight loss max. Though it does help with general fitness, muscle tone, strength & general well being. 😁
Congrats on your surgery & good luck on your journey.

Thank you! Maybe he will be clear when I see him next time as well. I have been feeling so good that I do need to remember that I need a lot of internal healing as well.

Thanks guys. Walking is something I love to do and it helps clear my head and I haven’t been able to walk like I used to. I recently moved before my surgery into an area with lots of trails and a lot of people walk around the neighborhood. I walked while on my preop liquid diet as well. After my surgery I weighed 301(fluids) and today my weight was 283. He said none of my walking attributed to my weight loss as as the diet is the only thing that will allow me to lose weight and that I don’t need to walk. Admittedly, I was stunned so he could have meant during the initial healing stages only. He just was not impressed by my walking. He actually looked a little upset as if I’m focusing on just walking but that’s not the case. Afterwards he told me my incisions look great and I meet with the nutritionist in six weeks.

I agree walking is good for your health for many reasons. You can lose most of your excess body weight by following a good nutrition plan with no exercise. Exercise will improve other aspects of your health. There are healthy overweight people and unhealthy people of average weight.

My surgeon gave me a stern talking to when I went back for my 2 week appointment as well. When I went back for my 1 month he was a little more clear. He was fine with a walking program but he didnt want me to get into an aggressive walking program until after my 1 month appointment. He also didnt want me to start any other physical activities until my 6 week appointment, he said he has seen too many people get too aggressive too early when they are feeling good and they tear things up inside. Even though you do not have much for incisions on the outside you had a major surgery on the inside, its very important that everything on the inside is healed well before you start anything more than walking. You do not want to damage anything you cannot see.
Just be patient and it will all work out for the best

I would think that's an unusual reaction. My Surgeon requires 60 minutes of exercise daily so he would think that you're doing very well!! As stated above- it is great for your overall physical and mental health. I admire your motivation and hope you keep it up! It's all about YOU and feeling your best!
Wishing you an excellent path!

Do you think your surgeon meant walking is good for your general health or pleasure, but following the dietary/lifestyle changes is what really matters at this stage post surgery?
Either way congratulations and don't feel deflated, you've only just begun.

Thank you. I left feeling pretty bummed.

Walking IS a good thing. It may not be the #1 weight-loss method like dieting is, but it's still good for both your mental and physical health and your doctor shouldn't have been so negative about it. Keep up the walking!

Today was my follow up appointment with my Dr. I had my sleeve on 12/15. I told my dr that I’ve been walking two miles a day for the past week. He was not impressed. He said walking will not help me loose weight; sticking to the diet will. I was kind of deflated because I thought walking was a good thing. 😪

I have been planning gastric sleeve for a few years. I took nutrition classes and did a lot of reading, but due to Covid it has been put on hold since April. Then pretty suddenly the doctor’s office called and scheduled it one week out. I jumped on it, but now I feel unprepared. Like I cheated somehow.
there are no in person support groups right now. I know to during at least 70 ounces of Protein a day from my shakes and Water with a tiny bit of juice in it. I feel OK, like others said, It was nice with the pain pump, but the pills have been OK.
I have this strange feeling like I should be working out a lot, or hating the food I eat. I feel like I should be suffering a lot more, like I have in the past when trying to loose weight. I have an ominous feeling of impending doom, like I’m not punishing myself or I’m not trying hard enough. I don’t want to get near the scale. The scale and I have had many issues in the past.
So Is this it? For the next 2 weeks I just drink shakes ?