JulieNYC

I saw the doc today and she was very accommodating about the med adjustment. We're going with a tiny dose of zoloft (not enough to have heartburn issues, I hope) and a normal dose of wellbutrin. That's how I'd been "self" medicating over the last week and the balance is working out nicely. Thanks for asking!

Wow, what a difference a day can make. I feel so much better. Thanks for all of your comments about the food. It definitely helped. Boo, I know what you mean about having great runs after eating ice cream. I could have run forever last night. I ran 6 miles at full speed and I didn't even need a supplement from all the carbs the day before. Anyway, I'm over it. I broke the cycle yesterday. If my patterns hold, that means I'm in for a couple of easy dieting weeks -- woohoo! deckedout, "Assets" is the off brand of Spanx at Target. I tried them and they don't hold up well in the wash. I actually prefer a brand called "Barely There" that I find at the Hanes/L'eggs outlet malls, if you have one in your area. They're not at hard to put on as Spanx, but are the same idea -- i.e. smoothing things out under clothes/holding you in place to ease contraction of your skin. As for the Body Bugg, yes, I do love it and find it very motivational, but doing the math your way works too. I used sparkpeople too, until I got the Bugg. The Bugg is really just a toy. Or, I guess, at its best, another "tool" in our weight loss box. I do find it motivational on two fronts though. First, it takes a lot of effort to log all your food and wear the bugg, so you want to make the most of it by doing things right. Then, and maybe even more importantly, since it's actually affixed to your body, I find that it is a constant reminder of my goal, which provides another barrier to me wanting to eat junk. It's kind of a diet force field! OK, so I've had a crush on this guy at my new job and he totally asked me out yesterday! What in the world do I do with that?!? Sometimes it's scary to get what you want. Good scary though. I'll let you know how it goes.... mariecarmen said :"I have this uneasy feeling of "what now."" -- yes, exactly. That's exactly what I'm afraid of. I've never, ever, in my whole life, even from age 4, not been trying to lose weight. One day soon, I'm going to wake up in the morning, get on the scale, and not be hoping for the number to go down. What now. (Luckily, I have 30 lbs to go before I have to figure that out!)

I've been binge eating again. I "zoned out" and ate 800 cals of sorbet last night. That's not even such a problem food for me, historically, but there we have it. I'm hoping that saying that "out loud" will help me to change it. It has in the past. I'm certain that a large component of it is not having my depression meds adjusted correctly yet and I'm really working with my psych on that. I'm not using it as an excuse, but I know it's contributing to the struggle. The running keeps me from gaining (to date, at least), thank God. Doing the simple math, if I'm really going to run this marathon in November, I seriously need to take off 30 lbs or it's going to kill my body. Of course, I can't lose if I can't control the food. It's not my fill level -- it's completely emotional eating. I need to find another distraction. I'm going to get out my sewing machine now that my house guests are gone. Hey, Betty, did you get that fill? Are you feeling better about it? I've been thinking about you in the interim....

OK Denise, it sounds like it's definitely your metabolism and not your eating. 2/3 a cup for 4 hours sounds darn near perfect, as do your food choices. So, let's revv up your exercise! I think you should mix it up -- give your body the unexpected. And, maybe design a weight training program -- something like Jachut's. If you put on a few lbs of muscle, that could really help to stir the old metabolism. I'm sure you know this, but gaining muscle is our best friend. Muscle burns calories even when we're sitting around doing nothing. Maybe start with a walk/sprint session on the treadmill. Walk for 5 minutes, then sprint as fast as you can for 90 seconds. Repeat for 30-45 minutes, depending on your treadmill level. Speed sessions are known for breaking plateaus, so hit that!

Denise, Would you give us some details on your band history, so we can help you motivate? When were you banded? How tall are you and what is your current weight? What is your fill level in what size band? All those things would help us tailor our conversation/advice for you. 40 lbs in 7 months is a very reasonable result. Most bandsters lose 50-100 in the first year, so you're actually in the top end of that range. If your weight is low enough, definitely run over doing the elliptical, at least 2-3 days/week. It'll really help with the weight loss, and, overall, changing the shape of your body for the better. WOOHOO! I love running (or, at least, what it does for my bod)! Consider starting with the "couch to 5K" program on coolrunning.com if you need a program. Join the exercise challenge and set an August 1st weight goal for youself, even if it's just a couple of lbs. Speaking of, I'm going to get below 165 by August 1st. I can do it! My family has finally left NYC, so I'm back to healthy, sub-1000 cal eating. Today might be hard, but I can do it. Woohoo! Catch yall later, Julie

I ran a 10K today with my SIL. We had such a good time! 10K is my distance -- long enough to be a challenge, not so long that you can't function the rest of the day. Woohoo! My time was 10:20 per mile. Pretty good for me!

Me too, mariecarmen. I think this is part of the adjustment problem we're having. Since we only ever saw the face and it was only subtly different, we didn't accept the reality of how big we are and, thus, the reality of how much we have changed with the weight loss. Again, me too. I see "fat" arms and legs and that's about it. Part of me knows that's just excess skin and there can't be that much more fat to lose, but whether skin or fat, I feel fat. I do that too -- daily. How can those tiny things fit me, yet I feel so fat? It's illogical. Yeah. I hear that. I told my Mom to just know that it's not possible to say the right thing to me. If she comments on the weight loss too much, I'll be annoyed that "all I am is weight loss." But if she doesn't comment, I'm annoyed that she doesn't acknowledge it. It's the same with other people -- they can't win with me. I've worked through this a little. It's hard to comment on someone's weight, even when it's for the better. When I feel that annoyance, I try to remember that. Again, yep. I could have written that. Guilt and shame and food go hand in hand for me, even when I'm eating what I'm "supposed" to. Now that you say that though, I do feel like this is a place where I could make some progress. I can choose to react differently when someone "catches" me eating. I'm going to choose not to feel ashamed about that anymore, starting today. I think I'm ready for that. Thanks for identifying so many things to talk about mariecarmen. Yes, I think many of us feel like you do.

Jachut, Do you ever do speed intervals when running? You'll be amazed at how many more cals you burn when you do them, and they're not that hard, proportionately. In case you haven't done them (or for anyone else who is interested), try this: run your slow to normal speed until you're warmed up. Then run as fast as you can for 45 seconds. Return to your slow to normal speed for 5 minutes. Repeat for the duration of your run. It's a killer plateau breaker. Yea for the 77kg!

I'm with TexasBecky -- I think you can break the "drinking while eating" habit. Wouldn't it be great to be back in the 150s before your next pregnancy? That way you'd definitely stay under 200 and have the healthiest pregnancy possible and less to lose after your next baby. If you commit to not drinking while eating, I bet you drop most of those pounds without doing much else. Why not give it a try? Good luck to you.

Betty, I haven't done a lot of research on the vertical sleeve (so others please jump in if you know more), but it's sort of akin to half of a bypass. Meaning, they don't take out the section of the intestine, so you don't have malabsorption, but they cut the stomach to make it smaller. As I understand it, they don't cut in the same way as the bypass -- supposedly it's much more effective at not being able to be stretched out, the way they cut it. Some people call it surgical banding, because it's restriction only (you feel banded), just not adjustable. Also, there's evidence that removing part of the stomach reduces the amount of ghrelin produced, which is linked to hunger and obesity. Hopefully I'll never need to know more about this, as the only reason I would would be if I were having serious problems with my band.... Eficka, of course all the boys were hitting on you. You're hot! Boo, I can't believe you're LAUGHING at my Skittles debacle! OK, you convinced me. I'll laugh at it too. TexasBecky, thanks for your post. You made me feel better. Today is a new day and I have packed nutritious, delicious foods to take to work. No need for Skittles! And my 5 mile run yesterday was a delight. I'm looking forward to running 3 more tonight. Yall have a good day, Julie

I love Wal-Mart's sugar free ice pops. 10 calories of yummy deliciousness. They come in a rainbow of flavors and every single one is good, even the neon blue one. We don't have Wal-Mart in the city and it's my favorite treat anytime I get out of town....

Oh, and I have a NSV. I was sitting across from a mirror in the airport and I now cross my legs like a thin person. Meaning, my thighs are actually thin enough so that my legs touch all the way down. You know how when you can first cross your legs, how your leg still kind of juts out rather than laying smoothly against the other one, because your thighs are too big? I hope yall know what I'm talking about. I can even link my foot back under the other ankle like the skinny women do! (But it's not comfortable.)

Yeah, those are big questions. I don't know the answers, but I'll try to figure out what I think. First, I think everyone has days where they feel they overate, but I don't think many people eat 9 servings of Skittles in a day, even when they overeat -- particularly the way I did it, which was buying one or two at a time, 5 or 6 times in a row. It wasn't like I had a 9 serving bag and I munched mindlessly all day -- I opened 9 packs. I don't think that's in a person's world when they are normal with food. Yes, the fact that I can get back to healthy eating and that it doesn't interrupt my exercise is definitely thanks to the band. I was never able to break the cycle before. Now I always break the cycle. I usually have 1-2 binges a month now that I'm banded. Much better than 1-2/day! And not stopping the exercise is so key. First, let's do the math (ugh). OK, 9 bags of skittles is 2250 calories. I probably ate 800 other calories that day. I ran, so I burned about 2800 calories during the day (as confirmed by my body bugg). So, I overate by 250 calories. That's not even 1/10 of a pound. I've already made that up today by running and getting back to my 1000 calorie diet. Of course, I might have lost a pound today, where it'll take me a few more days due to the binge, but with the extra cals burned from exercise, it's not the end of the world, given its frequency. Now to the hard question -- why did I do it. I don't know. What I do know is that it's not one factor. I don't binge just because of work stress, or just because I'm feeling lonely, or just because I'm bored. 5 or 6 factors have to come together at once for it to happen. I know that some of the triggers yesterday were the following: (1) I was traveling for work and I'm afraid of flying, so I was running on edge. (2) I needed change to buy stamps at work (you have to have exact change in cash), and I only had a $20, so I stopped at the newstand. I didn't need anything, so I bought 2 packs of Skittles thinking I'd eat them on my long run Saturday. I bought 2 because I felt bad breaking the $20 over 85 cents and because my SIL will be running too on Sat and she might want some. (3) Since I was traveling for work, including dinner with the client, I knew I wouldn't have a "perfect" food day and I couldn't really track my calories "in." This was kind of a mental license to eat. (4) I was delayed at the airport for 3 hours and there are Skittles every 6 steps in an airport, added together with the stress to me of flying. (5) This was my first business trip at my new job and I was traveling alone with my boss, who still hasn't decided if he likes me. (6) I ate breakfast. Inevitably when I eat breakfast, I think about food all day long. So, what can I learn from this. I can learn not to do something stupid like buy food just to break a $20. DUH. I could have bought a magazine, a pack of sugarless gum, whatever. The thing I'd like to learn, but I am genuinely not there yet, is to do what I have done with exercise, but with food. Meaning, I need to learn how to not be all good or all bad. I have a very strong tendency to say "screw it" (sorry for the language -- it's how I feel) once I've eaten the first unplanned thing, and eat 2,000 extra calories. If I'd have stopped at one bag, I'd have still been under my target cals for the day. But I can't stop at one bag. I haven't figured that one out.

Neither my doc nor my PS wanted me unfilled for my TT/BL. I was tighter than normal for about 5 days post-op, but as liquids went down fine, I'm glad I chose to stay filled. It's a combination of what your doctor recommends and how you feel about it. I had been at the same fill level for over a year and really didn't want to mess with a good thing and it was the right thing for me. Just wanted people to know that, like most things with the band, different docs have different views on this too. Good luck with your surgery Gayle!

I drink through a straw often. You'll find that there are very few absolutes with the band. Different doctors give different counsel and different bandsters have different reactions, but you'll find what works for you. If you want to drink through a straw, you'll be able to. If you find it makes you swallow too much air (which I find doubtful), it'll make you uncomfortable and you won't want to anymore. No biggie, right?

This is exactly the same metamorphasis I've had with exercise. It's not black and white anymore, meaning that I'm not all good or all bad. Before, I would only stay on an exercise plan as long as the food was going reasonably well. A binge would always interrupt my exercise -- always. So here's a real world example (and where I'm going to undoubtedly differ from Jachut!) -- I got to 350 because I am a binge eater. I can go into a cycle where I eat massive calories and not really realize what I've done until it's over. Pre-band this was almost daily, and sometimes twice daily. With the band, I made a commitment to eat healthful foods and trust the band to not allow me to binge on quantities. As you can tell from my weight loss, it's a pretty good system. Well, yesterday I had a full-blown binge. I ate 9 bags of Skittles. Yes, I can still eat 9 bags of Skittles with my band. I never have before and I hope it's a long time to never until I do again. But I still ran. And I'll still run today. The two aren't linked at all. I'm still a success with my running, even when I have a failure with food. It makes me feel better about myself overall, which is nice. Plus, when I feel better about myself, I'm less likely to have a bad binge. So it's a good cycle to be in. So, speaking of, it's time for my run. For those looking for the "couch to 5K" program (that Boo calls the "couch potato" program - haha), here's a link: Cool Running :: The Couch-to-5K Running Plan Take care, Julie

Sheila and Eficka, Come on over to the new thread. It doesn't have to be exclusively about goal issues and we're doing the exercise challenge over there. We really just wanted to open up a discussion for more experienced bandsters (i.e. 1+ years out) in a way that would generate more participation than the exclusively April thread has been getting for the last couple of months. Please join us! Take care, Julie

That's very close to what I'm going through. I don't HATE myself, I rather like myself. But, I spend an enormous amount of mental energy on weight related issues, whether it's how to get thinner, planning my food, time on LBT, thinking about being thinner, etc. Sometime soon, I'm going to have to shift about 70% of that mental energy to something else. particularly the thinking about being thinner/how to get thinner parts.

I had a similar experience with a pair of jeans this weekend. They were the smallest pants in my closet and I remember the last time I wore them back in 1999. Tried them on yesterday (had been waiting for fear they'd still be too small) and I could take them off without unzipping them. OOPS! Body image problems, table for one! I love this. I'm going to try to love my shadow too then. Then it seems the natural next step is to love the reflection in the mirror, right? Moe, I think at some point we have to listen to what the "charts" say, or our doctors say about our goal weights, because our heads can't do the job for us (then, I'm sure we can judge once we're there). What does the BMI chart say is a good weight for your height? Shesays, I do all those things too, and on the advice of my doctor. I drink probably 3 diet cokes a week. My doc (who is banded) says it's medically impossible for carbonation to strech a pouch on an empty stomach. There are holes on both ends for the air to escape. He said it can make you feel funny and if it does, you might choose not to drink it, but it won't hurt you. He feels the same way about NSAIDs -- that they're bad for all stomachs, but that they're not any worse on a bandster than on a non-bandster. Of course, the smart money on this forum is always the sage counsel of "follow what YOUR doctor says" and I believe that. For what it's worth, very reputable surgeons offer different advice (as I'm sure you know).

Jachut, I break the run up into segments and I always run the middle part of a long run somewhere I've never run before. So, I run about 2 miles, then I listen to music for about 4 miles, then I run through somewhere I've never seen before (there are several hundred trails in Central Park, so I won't run out anytime soon -- I found an English Garden today that I didn't know existed -- felt like I was in Europe for a minute) for about 3 miles, then I listen to music again until I'm home. Plus, I get to eat one single serving of Skittles when I'm running a long run (pure carbs needed after mile 7), so I'm usually (sadly) pretty excited about that, which keeps me going for a few miles too (sad that Skittles still make me happy). I actually like the long runs more than the short ones. I'm slow, but I feel my best around mile 8, where I think most people feel that rush around mile 3. Betty, I do the same thing with my ticker. It says my lowest, unless I've really done something to merit gaining, then I'll adjust it upwards. Otherwise, it's too demoralizing to change it one day, retain a pound of Water despite a perfect diet the next, and have to up the ticker. Nope. Not the rules I play by. I'm so glad you're back to your NIA and feeling better with no fill. Get in your exercise as you have been, take it easy with the food and stay accountable to the scale and you'll be fine. I feel your sentiments about being scared how much we rely on the band. I think about that with all my PS planned. Like, what happens if I lose my band? Because it's a certainty I'd gain. I do have a plan though. If, heaven forbid I ever lose my band and can't be rebanded, I'm converting to a vertical sleeve. Hopefully it'll never happen though. Traveling on business tomorrow and Tue, but will check in with you all when I get home. Nite.

Nope, not gonna happen. Your body has GOT to cave soon and I'm pretty sure mine's done losing for the month (I lose great the week after my cycle, then nothing or piddly amounts the rest of the month). How tall are you, Boo? It just doesn't seem right that you've been on this plateau for so long, with all the working out you do. Have you tried shaking up your diet for a day or two (whether eatine more, less, or different foods -- I don't know) and see if that helps? I ran 11 miles today. I was SLOW but it wasn't too bad. I'm definitely the tortus, but the distances aren't killing me yet, so maybe I'll win the race. I'm feeling better about the body image stuff. I think it was flipping into the 160s. To me, that's a completely normal weight. I probably feel that way because the least I've weighed since high school was in the 170s. I felt good there, but I would have still checked the "fat" box and not the "thin" box, given a binary choice. 160 is not "thin" at 5'2, but it seems completely normal to me. More thin than fat. Normal is good. It's just so odd that my head got wonky there for a minute.

I've got to say, the Bugg did help me break my 2 month plateau. I was at 172 for 2 months. Mostly my fault -- I wasn't tracking cals in. Still getting a lot of exercise, but not maximizing it. Anyway, today -- 4 days into the Bugg -- 167. PFOOY on the plateau! I'll show you who's boss! Wink.

It's going to be my goal today and over the days to come to try and identify more with what Chickie is saying here. Part of me can appreciate that already. I, too, will do basically the same thing every day that I did a year ago. My profession is still rewarding and lucrative. I travel to nice places. I have a good relationship with my parents and siblings. I have a great best friend and enjoy my hobbies (sewing and scuba diving). The part I still have to work on is mourning the part of my 20s where I let my obesity get me off track with developing relationships with men. It's not that I'm oh so old (I'm 34) that I can't still have a family of my own, but it's more that my body and my mind/life experience don't match up right now. Meaning, I'm a 34 year old woman. But I have the life experience, men wise, of an 18 year old. And, sometimes, I act like an 18 year old in my new body, and I don't like acting like that. OK, this is all the emotional work I can do for now. I'm going out for a walk. It's a beautiful day in NYC and I'm going to go put on a size 8 red dress and head out to explore the city.

I'm so glad this topic came up. I had a pretty major freak-out over this issue last night. Like an actual panic attack. It was the first time I'd felt this way -- like maybe I don't want to lose any more weight because I know I can live with my body and its imperfections now, but if my legs get any worse, I don't know how I'll deal with that. This freak-out occurred because I'd read there were a bunch of pre/post PS pics over on obestiyhelp.com's plastics forum. I'd never spent much time there, so I figured I'd go check it out. Well, I didn't get past the first page. I hit on the pics of a girl who lost exactly what I will have lost -- to the pound -- at goal. It freaked me out. (For those who don't know me, keep in mind I'm approaching the 200 lb lost marker, so don't let my fears scare you if you didn't start in the "super obese" category.) If I'm going to look like that in 30 more pounds, I just don't know that that's what I want. I think I may look better now that she does after her PS. And her PS looked horrifically painful. Now, I'm already post-TT/BL and it wasn't so bad. But the leg surgery looks AWFUL (in terms of the recovery). I'll go through it if I have to, but I don't think I look SO bad now, where I fear for what I'll look like, even post-op, at "goal." The thing is, it's just a freak-out -- it's not reality. The reality is, though she and I have similar body types and weight loss numbers, when I look at my skin compared to hers, my skin is just in a lot better condition. Yes, I have stretch marks in some places and a fair amount of loose skin, but her skin was pocked all over with stretch marks. And she was probably 10 years older than I am, and she was a bypass patient (I think malabsorption has something to do with skin condition). Her PS was good, and she looks wonderful for where she came from -- it just really freaked me out, as you can tell. So, the end of the story is that I woke up this morning and had dropped 3 lbs overnight (that's my pattern, nothing then a big jump). I still celebrated. And, I'm still going all the way for goal. BRING IT ON.

Annie, I see you're sitting on the century marker -- congratulations! Chickie, OF COURSE you're welcome on this thread. Please, lead the way! I think I'm spending too much time on the forums and I think it's related to being close to goal. Like what in the heck and I going to do with myself once I'm no longer trying to lose weight. I guess I'll be trying to maintain weight, or trying to gain weight like Chickie. Sometimes I don't feel like I do much outside of weightloss. This isn't really true (I work, I have thin friends, hobbies), but sometimes it's how I feel.