mil_unloaded

Thank you so much for your reply, Arabesque, it really means a lot! I never meant to imply that wanting to look better was totally superficial. I know that a lot of it stems to our mental health. When you look good, you feel good. I had actually gotten to a point with that fat acceptance that I was in, that I bought a bunch of new clothes, kind of “throwing in the towel” about weight loss and “accepting my fate,” so to speak. So I wanted to have cute blouses, and cute pants that fit me well, instead of always having clothes cutting into me or making me chafe, or anything else. I even bought some dresses! I never really wear dresses (though it helps my autoimmune skin condition (hidradenitis suppurativa), because jeans cause a lot of friction if they aren’t the right size!). What I meant when I said that I was looking for people beyond the motivation of “looking good,” I meant that my husband’s doctor once tried to motivate him to lose weight by saying “You’ll look good,” and I don’t feel like that’s always an appropriate motivation. I mean, for some people, sure. It just wasn’t a motivator for me and my husband. I love and accept my body no matter what size it is, even if I “look good” as a thinner person, or I “look good” as a fatter person. If you know what I mean. Haha. Also, I never believed people when they made “the easy way out” comments. I always thought to myself, I don’t know, they generally say when you can avoid surgery, you should...and people opt to do this, it must be life changing enough, and significant enough, or else it wouldn’t exist as a practice. When my doctor suggested it, I thought for a moment about how people say that it’s the “easy” way...and immediately dismissed it when I kept doing research. Nothing about weight loss is easy, period. But to do surgery for weight loss seems even more of a difficult road to travel, and if you aren’t prepared for it, it’s going to be a disaster. I am so glad to hear that you (and your friends) have not been the types to hate yourselves. I just see so many posts on Instagram where people declare “I hated myself back then,” or “God I look so ugly, why can’t I lose weight,” or any other negative self-talk. It took me so long to get over that constant negative self-talk, and I worried about how I would fare going into this surgery. Would I look back and claim I hated myself or my body? Because I don’t. I think this surgery is going to be the greatest gift I can give to myself and my body. Anyway, I’ve gone on long enough, but I just wanted to say thank you again for your very thoughtful reply. It means a lot. I’ve been struggling with even keeping on my weight loss track for pre-op weight loss (I’ve only gained about 1.5 pounds, so I’m still doing good, but I need to get back into gear!). Just to hear someone say a lot of positive and encouraging things is helping me not to do late night snacking tonight and instead drink plenty of water before bed! Take care!

I feel as though your post is important as it shows more about the risks that we are taking going down this route. While most complications are rare, it’s important to know about some beforehand, so you know what may (or may not!) happen to you. I feel I’d rather be braced for the rare possibility that I have a complication (or several in your case), than go into it completely blind. At least you could know more about how severe of a complication it could be, or not be. I hope that you, escape_pinacolada, find your relief soon, and that this will be just a blip on the radar of a future life of healing and recovery. Best wishes.

It took me a long time to get where I am. A long backstory, I’ll try to make it brief. All my life it was implied that in order to lose weight, you must hate yourself for motivation. “I hate my thighs,” “if only I were thinner boys/girls would like me better.” And it didn’t help hearing phrases like “You have such a pretty face, but...” I grew up in an abusive home with a narcisisitic mother, this isn’t a huge part of it, but it explains a lot about why I hated myself in my childhood, teen years, and even my early 20s (I’m 38 now). I always struggled to fit in with anyone because I was always the fat girl. The few people I could relate to, I’ve stuck with throughout the years. A few good friends, my husband, etc. I’ve tried to explain to people that have never battled their weight in the way that I have since 3rd grade (mom put me on my first diet then), and they don’t get it. Or try to offer tired advice, “have you just tried to lose weight?” So I never fit in anywhere. I hated how every attempt to lose weight was peppered with thoughts of self hate, suicidal thoughts, depression, and severe anxiety. I’d fall off the wagon and either binge myself to near vomiting, or I’d restrict myself obsessively and worry about every macro- and micronutirent. That was until I started therapy in 2013. I started to learn a lot about myself, and that I’m nothing like my mother. I always feared I’d be a parent like her, or a wife like her. Truly abusive, and it brought on a lot of fear. Eventually I stumbled my way into the Intuitive Eating groups on the internet. I learned to stop binge eating, and to stop obsessing over food. I also found the body positivity group. This was great. I finally got to a point that I was not only ok in my skin, but I could be happy and fat at the same time. There’s this concept out there that most people that are fat absolutely hate themselves and we have no self control. While on the flip-side there’s also this concept that people are “fat, happy, and lazy.” I found that I was aware that I was fat, I kept getting movement, tried to eat healthy most of the time, and I learned to love who I am regardless of my size. Then my hiatal hernia got worse and my gastroenterologist suggested I look into bariatric surgery. I never really thought about it before. I didn’t think negatively about it, or positively...I just flat out didn’t think about it. When people said it was “the easy way out,” I just ignored them because I didn’t have any frame of reference. I knew one person that died a few months after a “stomach stapling” in the late 80s, but I was a kid and don’t remember any details. However, even as a child, I knew that wasn’t always the case, people die from so many different causes, and this could have been a fluke. My point here being it never really scared me. It was just something that some people did, no judgement, never. I joined in on following some people on Instagram that have had various bariatric surgeries. I’m finding that I don’t fit in, again. People post before and after photos and talk about how horrible their lives were, how much they hated themselves, and how much they wish they “never let themselves get that bad.” Demonizing obesity and making me feel like I should be revolted at myself. Now, it took 7 years of therapy to get to the point of self body acceptance...so for this reason, I’m feeling conflicted, and like I won’t fit in with most of the weight loss surgery group of folks. So here’s why I’m making this topic. If you are someone that loved themselves before this surgery, loved themselves during recovery, and love themselves now... Didn’t necessarily do this surgery because you “hated” yourself, but more because of the health aspect of everything (I’m doing it because of my high blood pressure, body limitations (I can’t even touch my feet anymore), hiatal hernia and GERD problems)... My motivations are a little different than just “looking good.” I want to point out here too, that I’m not here to shame anyone that has been motivated by that, the desire to “look good” more over the desire to “feel good” (and I get that you can have both!)...but I just struggle with feeling like I don’t fit in with the WLS community in despising myself before surgery. Did you ever struggle with where your place was in the weight loss surgery community? This is why I’ve fallen silent on the forums (and a little on my IG if you follow me there). I was looking to do some soul searching as to what this all meant for me, but I feel I need some guidance. And if you made it all this way, thank you so much for reading. Take care.

Congratulations! That’s so awesome!!

Congratulations! I hope I get a similar kind of call in about 5 months. Haha. Well, minus the pee and the splits. ?

I hope I don’t have similar issues, but it’s likely that I will. I have moderate OCD with Intrusive Thoughts and ADHD. It can be very challenging. I can deal mostly with the OCD and ADHD symptoms (not being treated for the ADHD currently because the meds and my weight ultimately gave me hypertension)...but I really can’t handle the Intrusive Thoughts. They overrun my life and I’m truly miserable without my Abilify.

I’ve told all of my closest friends, my immediate family, and a couple of my family that I’m really close to that is more distant but always have been supportive. I’m the type of person that is generally very open. If you ask me about my life with OCD, or my life with Autistic children, I’ll likely tell you anything you want to hear (and maybe things you didn’t want to hear)... So I felt I’d still be the same way about this when my day arrives. However, I haven’t said much if anything about it to my colleagues. I work at Farmers Markets and I told the head of the one I started doing first, because we’ve gotten kind of close, and I just wanted to let her know what was going on. When the ball started rolling, it’s because I was having pain in my hiatal hernia, and I was unable to come to market for a few weeks. I felt it necessary to let her know some of the details. I said that eventually I might have to miss some time due to surgery, but that I would absolutely be back as soon as I could. Anyway, it’s totally in your hands who you want to know about this. If you want to generally keep it a secret from people, it’s within your rights.

I should clarify (it won’t let me edit), I haven’t had my surgery yet. I should be having it in about 6 months (insurance hurdles)! But I’m happy to follow anyone that shares here because I’d love to see more about your process and progress!

HI, I’m really new here still, but if you’re interested in following me I’m mil_unloaded over on IG. I’m 6 months from my surgery (approx!), so it would be nice to have people on IG that have been through it and can be supportive!

Great job! The newer picture definitely shows a major difference!

I’m also a vegetarian, but I’m still pre-op (likely in 6 or so months I’ll have RNY). My surgeon said that she has a lot of patients that are vegetarian.

Congratulations! I’m almost in “twoderland,” is that a thing? Haha. Just 1.5lbs to go and I’ll be 299.9. I can’t tell you how excited I am, even if my high weight without pregnancy was only 308.4.

Hi! Welcome to the forums! I’m sort of new myself, and I’m also around on Reddit. I actually joined the forums before I found r/wls. Anyhow, my journey is barely starting, so I’ll wish you luck in that your surgery is scheduled swiftly, and here’s to a speedy recovery when you get there!

Just kindly ask them to stop commenting on your body if it makes you uncomfortable. I’m of the school of thought that you don’t comment on people’s bodies no matter what, but I guess it can depend on the situation.

Hi friend! I’m new to the forums, and I haven’t even had my first consultation yet. I just wanted to let you know that people here are generally very kind and supportive. Maybe you could put in a call to your team and just ask hey, is what I’m feeling normal? Normal can be different and subjective to each individual experience. I hope that you get some clear cut answers and start to feel better very soon. Also I have read a lot of people state that they have issues with dairy after any bariatric surgery. It might be something to consider. Some foods just might not sit with you in the same way that they used to. Take care, friend!

Which flavors do you guys recommend? I know sometimes it can be hard to find a truly great flavor of protein bars. I’m barely having my first consultation on Monday, but I’m liking trying to do research now on ways to get more protein, as I’m a vegetarian. So I welcome any suggestions that can increase protein in ways I didn’t think of (I’m drinking protein shakes now, too)!

This is great, thank you for your reply. I’ll be seeing my bariatric surgeon on Monday for my first consultation, so I’m hoping that we can streamline things even just a little bit. I can’t imagine dealing with this pain for 6 months!

I haven’t been denied yet. I called my insurance to find out their requirements, and then I called where my gastroenterologist referred me and scheduled my consultation. That’s all I’m at right now.

My gastroenterologist said that the only way they would do the hiatal hernia repair at my current weight is to also do my gastric bypass at the same time. Otherwise I would have to lose 150+ pounds before they would even do the repair. That could take 3+ years without the surgery...

First let me tell you that I have not had a surgery yet, but I do have a hiatal hernia... It could be a Hiatal Hernia—and the only reason I’m saying this is if I eat a lot of bread or otherwise a large meal, I feel like someone has set a boulder on my chest. I’m on Omeprazole right now so I’m not having major acid issues, but I likely will if I go off of it any time soon. I can drink liquids with relative ease, and have been drinking a lot of protein shakes and smoothies. I had an endoscopy to check the status and the doctor told me that likely I had nerve damage on my stomach and diaphragm. I also want to note that I was getting severe gas stuck in my chest cavity, and would have to stay upright leaning against the wall until it came up. I’ve been eating smaller meals, mostly liquid or light foods when I can... And the gas is better. But if I eat a little heavier, I get that pain. Anyway, I hope that you get it figured out and get some relief quick!

Hi there. I have a significant hiatal hernia, it causes a lot of pain and discomfort any time that I eat. I had an endoscopy to rule out infection or strangulation of the stomach. Anyway, the findings were that it’s likely that I have nerve damage in my hiatal hernia area and diaphragm. I have a telemedicine appointment with my bariatric surgeon on Monday, it’s my first consultation. My insurance “requires” 6 months of nutrition education before they will sign off on the surgery. I’m not asking to do it in 2 weeks, or even a month. I’m just curious if anyone out there has been able to petition their insurance with the help of a physician to shorten that time frame. I’m aware that I’ll need to do the work before the surgery, but my concern is being in this pain for 6 months. I can do maybe 2-3 months. Anyway, if you have been able to do this, or know of someone that has, can you just give me some insight? I’m not familiar with how insurances work.

Update: my gastroenterologist referred me to the top bariatric center in my city. I have a consultation with one of their bariatric surgeons on 6/29. Hoping to get the ball rolling!

Hidradenitis Suppurativa! It’s awful, and I’m considered a mild case! Also yes, perfektlynrml, keratosis pilaris is it! I knew once I saw it I would remember!

I also have HS, and I’m hoping that the weight loss will offer some relief. I’m looking for people that have had positive skin changes after this surgery, too! I have some eczema and I can’t remember the name of the other term I have—it’s basically clogged hair follicles on the arms/legs that just look like red bumps everywhere. I forget the term.

I’m so sorry. I don’t know what advice to offer beyond like Bastian said, and get it done to avoid a full obstruction. I’ve not been in your shoes. I’m still at least 6 months out from my surgery (consultation is on 6/29). I hope that whatever you decide helps you in the long run, and that you find some relief soon. Best wishes.