mil_unloaded

In retrospect, for me, I know I shouldn’t have eaten. I didn’t eat much and ended the day below 1200 calories anyway, but I still feel guilty. I’m allowed to have things like oatmeal and cream of wheat, and soup, too. So at least the bulk of what I had was a puréed vegetable soup (with some spice to it, boy howdy). I’m thankful that my body still dropped 0.4 pounds yesterday. My surgery is in 5 days now, and I’m going to try to be only liquids and protein drinks until surgery, and only eat the semi-liquids if I feel like I’m DYING of hunger (which I shouldn’t get that way, but you know how it is).

I had a little food at my mother-in-law’s today, but it was our only Christmas celebration, but I also had mostly soup. I chewed slowly, and told myself that was the only solids I was going to allow myself to have in this whole liquid diet phase. Doesn’t matter, still feel guilty as all hell. I’m back to liquids already (had a protein shake for dinner), worked out an extra 40 minutes today to make up for it. Back to liquids tomorrow. 6 days until surgery (12/30)!

Oh friend, that’s great! I’m so glad you haven’t thrown up!

I’m so sorry, friend. Did they give you any anti nausea? They already gave me some. I’m going to have some bedside and in the kitchen just in case. You poor thing.

Haha Thanks! Congratulations! If all things are true you should be one day post-op! How are you feeling? Much love and healing to you! I’ll be there in 8 days!

Today is day 6 of my liquid diet. Somehow I had a stall from yesterday to today on the weight loss, but I did just start my period a couple of days ago, so probably because of that. Surgery in 9 days!

I know this feel. I want to crunch, too. Day 5 for me over here. Surgery 12/30! Can you do sugar free popsicles? The cold of them right now isn’t satisfying, but the crunch is, and then shortly after I have some warm broth to warm my lip back up. Lol

Day 2 of liquid diet here! Doing good so far! I’m allowed to have cream of wheat, low sugar oatmeal, tomato soup, sugar free popsicles, and sugar free pudding and jello (which I hate the second one lol).

I start my liquid diet tomorrow! I’m really excited. I know that the liquid diet will be tough, but I’m ready to power through.

Got the call today, December 30th! Start my liquid diet on the 16th!

I got my surgery date! 12/30! I start my liquid diet on 12/16! YAY!

Got my insurance approval! Now I’m just waiting for my pre-op appointment. I’m starting liquid diet Saturday instead (I was going to start Monday!). I’d just rather be already going good before my pre-op appointment!

Nothing guaranteed until we hear from my insurance, which was submitted yesterday. I might not know for up to 7-10 business days. So with that in mind, I’m starting my liquid diet on the 14th (Monday) in case I’m having surgery as soon as the 28th (it might be the 30th)!

Hey friend! The test went ok! Apparently I don’t have as much of a hiatal hernia as they thought on the endoscopy! We also discovered my reflux meds are doing their work. Haha

I have my upper GI test today, hopefully by Wednesday we will have results and be submitted to insurance! Here’s fingers crossed I’ll get in this month for my bypass!

I do! I don’t know if this was directed at me or just a general question, so I just wanted to let you know!

So I had my final consult before the pre-operation consult. She wants me to lose a little more weight than I have because I have a fatty liver. I also have one more test that fell through the cracks on the ordering side, so hopefully I can get that done swiftly. Then they will be submitting to insurance, which I was told our insurance will be 7-10 business days for a turn around response. It’s still possible I could have my surgery in late December, but it might be January. Fingers crossed!

Seeing your official dates, guys, is giving me the butterflies in my stomach. Not bad! It’s like that feeling when you have your first kiss with someone! So excited but a little nervous!

I’m not 100% if my surgery will be in December, due to scheduling. But I have my final consult on the 1st! So I hope it happens next month!! Wish me luck! Feel free to keep in touch!

I started seeing a therapist as soon as I got on my husband’s health insurance back in 2013. I was worried that I was going to be a parent like my mother, and that terrified me. It took years of therapy to understand that I’m nothing like my mother. Anyway, back to the topic, in the years that I’ve been seeing my therapist she’s seen me gain and lose, gain and lose, over and over again. Finally, I told her that I was planning on having surgery, and she was extremely supportive. We’ve talked about it multiple times as it’s going to be a huge part of my life very soon. It also helps that her spouse also had gastric bypass, so I know someone that has been through it, too (her spouse also does her scheduling and whatnot). I was really lucky in that she and I really clicked within the first few weeks. Having said that, my parents forced me to see a therapist when I was in my teens that just agreed with everything my mother did, including the abuse. She would ask me questions like “well did you think maybe you deserved it?” And I don’t know if she was being the devil’s advocate there, but it really bothered me. I started skipping on appointments until my parents got tired of paying the $100 no show fee, and then they stopped forcing me to go. My suggestion is to maybe ask around to people you know that might be seeing a therapist, and ask them who their therapist might recommend. I was actually told about my therapist through my husband’s coworker who uses the same group where my therapist used to work (She has since ventured into her own business and expanding it!). Another possible tip is to call your insurance and ask if they can give you a list of providers in your area. Then you can do some research online if you have the time, for someone that might be a good fit. In the days of COVID, an online option could also be a good place to get started. It will probably be a while until you can see a therapist face to face in person. I haven’t physically seen mine since February. I’ve been seeing her so long though that she gets a good read on my tone or silence, and can tell when I’m trying to unpack something mentally. Anyway, I wish you the best of luck.

Best of luck! I’m still a few months away from my surgery, so I don’t know if there’s anything else you should pack. If it’s anything like my c-section recoveries you’re going to love that robe. Haha. I liked not having to wait for a nurse to tie up my gown, I could just throw on the robe and walk my laps.

@Onmyway301 Hi there! Yes, I’ve been working on whittling myself down about 100-150 calories every couple of days, so I can eventually sit back down between 1500-1800 calories daily. They told me to aim for 1500, but I figured I can slow go aim for it. I tried going 0 to 60 and ended up basically going on a food bender for a few days because the panic was too great. When I slowly ease back down I tend to do better. I’ve been logging my food every day for the last two weeks only skipping one day. I already have dinner calculated in today, and I still have about 350 calories I can play with (I might make an instant coffee, so that will cut it down a little bit more). My goal for today is to stick to as close to 2000 as I can, and get a minimum of 30 minutes of exercise (done, and I’d like to do more!). @qianmij Hi there! I do try to think of my kids often and what their parts play in the grand scheme of things. My kids are special needs, and are ages 2.5 and 4.5. I don’t want to leave them behind because I died of a preventable metabolic disorder. So I often do my Just Dance time with the kids around because they like to wiggle with me, and it’s so fun! I frequently remind myself that it isn’t just for me, it’s for my kids, and my husband as well. I basically need to be gentle with myself while also urging myself to cut the crap, so to speak. Haha @BigSue Food Funerals, that’s great. I told my husband I’d like to at least get one Mountain High Mudpie to share at Red Robin before this surgery happens. No way will we finish it, but still. It’s one of those things I know that I won’t be able to enjoy in moderation after the surgery because it’s HUGE. Like MASSIVE. Haha. It’s a family mission to take down this thing. But at the same time, I’m not sure I’m going to have true food funerals. I’ve read about people going on basically like a food bender before the surgery and the pre-op diet. Eating all of their favorite foods. I have a lot of favorite foods, but I believe I can likely still have most of them. Like a (vegetarian) hamburger sans bun. I’m cool with it. Or a taco, or a small burrito. I discovered a local pizza place will just throw toppings, sauce, and cheese in a bowl and bake it...and I thought hey now that’s smart. I can still get that “pizza” feel without the crust. And I can recreate it in a ramekin here at home. I love pizza, probably my favorite non-breakfast food item (I love breakfast like whoa). But I can happily give up the crust if that means living a longer and healthier life. I think just putting out my initial post on this topic helped shift me back into the right mindset, and hearing everyone’s positivity on the subject. Thank you all so much for your kindness. It really does mean a lot. I’ve been finding that part of my soul that loved to move and groove, and that’s helping a lot!

@loridee11 I’ve been able to hang with the concept that it’s a lifestyle change, and overall I do well. I’ve been getting exercise most days (I set a goal for September to just get a minimum of a minute of exercise most days. In the last week I’ve been smashing that and getting 30-50 minutes a day. I honestly really enjoy dancing and found that Just Dance (video games) is a lot of fun! It gets me up and moving around and I love it! I don’t drink soda (I drink soda so sparingly it’s easier to say I don’t drink it. I’ve haven’t had a soda in over a month, and before that it was likely 3-4 months since the last one). I don’t drink alcohol. My vice is sweets (which is why Gastric Bypass will be good for me, because I won’t be able to overindulge anymore!). I did a baking swap with a neighbor recently, bread for cookies. I shouldn’t have done it. One day I ate 4 cookies, but I countered it by getting more than 40 minutes of exercise. I’m not thinking about exercise as punishment though, because I’m really enjoying the dancing! The food swaps you suggest are great, however I’m a vegetarian, so I don’t eat heavy red meats anyway (though it’s something I miss on occasion). I get my protein requirements daily so far, in that I eat a lot of eggs, beans, and nuts. I’ve stopped eating things like chips and most snack foods—but like I said, I like sweets. If I just keep them out of the house it will be ok (I’ve been able to meter myself with those cookies now!). @WishMeSmaller Thank you so much! The air is horrendous over here. I haven’t had exercise outside in a long time, and haven’t been able to go to my farmers markets to sell my jam and bread because of the air quality. It’s awful. Up until the summer heat hit and then the smoke, I was walking a mile every morning. That made it a lot easier to stay motivated! Then the heat came (110+ days for 5+ days in a row), then the smoke...I have asthma, so I haven’t been able to be outside much. I think that took the biggest blow to my depression. Going on a walk in the morning before eating anything or even drinking coffee...it was nice. It set my tone for the entire day! And here I am now. But like I said to Lori, I’ve been doing Just Dance daily, and it’s really helping get me back out of that depression! @tarotcardreader Hi there! My surgeon isn’t giving me any flack over this. I haven’t even talked to her since my initial appointment. I think it’s more of a self mental block that I’m stressing out over. My PCP said that it isn’t a major issue if I don’t lose exactly 20 pounds. I’m back down about 8 since I posted this, though. I’ve gotten a lot of my motivation back and ditched the depression! Thanks for looking out. ❤️ @BigSue Thank you for this! You’ve inspired me to try out IF again. I’ve been not eating until 10/11am, and finishing eating by 6/7pm. It’s really helping to keep me back in check. Right now I’m just adjusting to the IF and logging again, and getting a lot of movement in. And then I’ll start adjusting my calorie goal to below 2000 again (they recommended 1500 for women at my first nutrition meeting). I figured it’s kind of hard to go from 0 to 60, so I’m going to ease back into it (someone suggested it somewhere! To just cut down a little at a time, instead of the shock that tends to come from going 2500 calories to 1500 overnight. It is likely to cause binge eating!). Anyhow, thank you so much for your encouragement, it means a lot!

My bariatric surgeon told me I needed to lose 20 pounds before the surgery. I remember at the time thinking “I’ll smash that, I’ll lose 25.” Here I am now, halfway through the 6 month period before my final consult, and I’ve lost 5 pounds. I’m stressing out a little bit because I wanted to lose at least the 20, but now it’s practically logistically impossible. Every day I keep logging my food and getting exercise, but I’m still having 2000-2300 calories a day on average. I talked to my primary care doctor and she said that generally all they want is a show of good faith that you can lose weight and stay focused most of the time. I think a lot of my struggles are stemmed from depression. I’m not generally very depressed, or I can usually pull myself out of my “funks” pretty quickly...however right now with COVID happening, now forest fires only 40 miles from my home (I live in Central California, near Fresno), plus basically becoming a homeschool teacher because of COVID (and my kids are special needs, did I mention that?)...on top of that I’m trying to keep my home business afloat (I make jam and bread). So it’s a lot to deal with all at once, and trying to lose weight is just one more piece of fuel to chuck onto the fire. I guess I’m just looking for some kind words from people that have been there. I know that losing weight in general is hard, that’s why we’re all here, we need this tool to help us lose that weight. But why can’t I just keep my head in the game? I know a lot is going on, and past me has just let things go and gained 30 pounds. So at least there’s that. I’m still down about 5 pounds.