Suzi_the_Q

Just got off the phone with an old friend whom I haven't seen in years (since I was normal weight), and he was telling me about his current life plans/ projects (quitting drinking and smoking). I should have listened to myself and not mentioned my surgical plans, but I did. Silly me. He had a lot of opinions about it and how I should just do the diet and exercise thing again (knowing I have debilitating back issues that preclude me from doing a lot of exercises, though I do try.) I didn't tell him just how much I have to lose because I'm rather sensitive about it in my in person life. (I live away from my "home" area now and don't have too many in person friends anymore, so I just haven't posted any pics of myself publicly in a while.) He was well-meaning, but he claimed that regular slow diet and exercise means you won't have loose skin.... he has NO IDEA wtf he's talking about. He has a super fast metabolism and has NEVER been a BMI over 24.9 in his entire life. He recently lost 30lbs going from 24.9 to like a 22 and thinks that the reason he doesn't have loose skin is because he did it by being active... I tried explaining that 30lbs doesn't really cause loose skin, but he was insistent. I even explained that I was already saving $ for my PS surgery after but he was insistent that if I did it HIS way I wouldn't need it- even after I reminded him about when I lost 95lbs THAT way (working out about 2 hours per day) and still had loose skin anyway! Thankfully, he picked up on my frustration and changed the subject, but UGH!!! THIS is why I don't tell people- SO. DAMN. FRUSTRATING. Also, mansplaining, wtf?

I had been thinking about it for a couple of years so by the time I brought it up to my PCP I was very enthusiastic about it (and very well-informed). I told her how I'd tried a lot of diets etc. that hadn't worked for me and that I wasn't keen on WL medication. She said normally she would go that route first but because I was so enthusiastic and certain about it (and my BMI was above 40,) she would sign off and help me get the documentation of comorbidities to make sure I'd get insurance approval.

No, they're saying at 5'2" and SW of 232 that they have never had food problems. Not to be overly blunt, but barring metabolic/ thyroid etc. conditions or mobility issues, that's unlikely true. I'm not saying this to be mean, and I'm not calling you a liar either, I want you to succeed and get healthy. (Like I want for myself and everyone here!) Serious introspection and self-awareness is key to both short and long term success. I suggest talking to your Dr.'s nutritionist and psychologist to get your head properly in the game and help you overcome your present and future challenges on this journey, because that's where the real battle is. I'm very glad your asthma has cleared up. I think a lot of us do it and commit to it for health reasons (but divorcing that from the underlying weight issue that caused or exacerbated them isn't usual.)

You don't need to be a food addict to have food problems, e.g.: comfort / emotional eating, boredom eating, grazing, chronic unhealthy choices, overdoing carbs, depression, habitual consumption of sugary foods and drinks (candy, pastries, sugared soda, juice, fruit smoothies), lots of fried foods or fast food, accidentally/ unconsciously overeating while watching TV, eating late at night or right before bed, eating until you're full (or even stuffed) instead of to when you're satisfied etc. I think you'll find that everyone here has had at least a couple of these and are doing a lot of head work to overcome it and stick to their food plan. And it's not one size/ one way fits all either. What works for me is actually a stricter (than the Dr.'s) regime 6 days per week with 1 "cheat day." What works for my mom is a set protocols/ diet that she doesn't deviate from because she will completely fall off the wagon if she has any indulgence. I think if you look at your history, you'll find that maybe you do have at least one of the issues I mentioned (barring health/ mobility conditions- and if that is the case I apologize for this rant.) We're all here for you to help you succeed on your journey. So is your Dr.'s team.

***I know if you look at my stats, I look like I'm full of it, but this isn't my first journey, and I only started my (pre-op) diet 34 days ago, losing 12 lbs. My story is on my profile, but in short I'm here due to a combination of sudden severe mobility issues leading to a couple of the above. I previously lost and maintained a 95lbs weight loss for years without surgery. The surgery is just a tool, the hard work is up to you.

Aren't you the guy that a few days ago posted SHAMING others about their posts about struggling with their journeys- your "STOP MAKING EXCUSES!!!" thing??? (And it came out that you were really just posting for attention, like today) THAT kind of attitude is what discourages people.

10 days ago....

Didn't you post this last week under a different name??

It's sad because he peppers in some good info here and there, but it's so ensconced in perpetual navel gazing that it gets lost. Reading the stuff he's posted about women though, plus the narcissism, reminds me of the kind of writing you see from incels, which is concerning.

Isn't it usually?

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I have chronic pain too, so I can only imagine how hard it is to have that and CFS. You're doing great, and are such an inspiration! ❤️

Congrats on your achievement! BTW- what shakes do you use?

5 hours ago, jennyhenny0330 said:

. My parents know but I'm trying to keep it from my husbands family. They gossip all the time. I just don't want to be apart of it. I do have a dilemna. His sister works in the surgical wing of where I'm getting it done. I think I decided just to go with the flow and if I see her, I will have the discussion. They all have anxiety on that side and I don't want the attention, brought on by "going under."

If you DO run into your SIL, remind her of her HIPAA responsibilities, that she can't disclose medical information without your permission. It's your business, no one else's.

Have you contacted your surgeon's office? Even as far out as you are from surgery, they generally still offer support in nutrition counseling, support groups etc.

5 hours ago, ms.sss said:

And to a lesser extent, daily exercise.

When did you start exercise, to what intensity and did it end your honeymoon period (make you hungry)?

Thank you all for the advice! I'm really hoping to hit my goal!

Hey all, I've read and seen a lot of great success stories on here that lost 100% of their goal (or more) and I want to eventually be one of you! So I must ask- how did you do it? What's your secret? How long did it take and how much did you lose? Inquiring minds want to know!

Thank you in advance!

Wear something loose and comfortable since you'll be asked to pull it up for the exam. I recently had my first tests (it's different in the US) and they did an ultrasound of my legs to check the veins for clots/ potential clotting issues. For me they also did an upper GI (esophagus to stomach) Xray to make sure I had no swallowing issues either and an EKG. There will be blood work too. You'll meet the surgeon who will go over surgery options with you. My Dr wanted me to be up to date on my pap smear and mammogram. Re: pre-op: every program is different, they'll talk about it there. Don't be scared, it must be upsetting being declined by the public health service for past mental health issues, that doesn't seem right but I don't know Denmark's health system at all, but generally private practice is not so stringent on prerequisites. Skåål!

Have you tried chia seeds in Water? They're kinda slimy but very filling and a good source of Omega 3, Calcium, Iron, and Fiber. They expand in your stomach a little and help you feel satisfied.

Hmm... yeah I don't watch the money videos, just the WLS ones. That's disappointing to hear though.

I just discovered Dr. Duc Vuong's youtube channel and now i'm OBSESSED! It felt really affirming having someone point out that most doctors have you shoot for the "average" weight loss, 60-65% of EBW e.g. how my nutritionist suggested my goal should be 170lbs- like wtf? Dr. V pushes his patients to get to around 20 BMI and I'm here for THAT! I think I've watched 6 or 8 of his videos since discovering him yesterday. So good! And no BS! Plus I kinda love that he swears too, feels more genuine. Here's one of his vids, check him out!

8 hours ago, 90’schild said:

I forgot to mention in my post that I’m vegetarian, so deciding what kind of foods to eat is kinda difficult.

You can sub tofu for any meat mentioned? (Except the chicken crust, I don't think that'll work.) I also found this almond flour Pasta recipe that looks really good, but only if you can tolerate xanthan gum. It does req. eggs, but all pasta has eggs in it so maybe you could tolerate it in something? Or sub with cheese instead? There's also egg substitues out there that might work for you. You can even use this recipe to make gnocchi and ravioli (I'm jazzed to try it myself!) BTW when you buy almond flour, check the ingredients because some add rice flour and other carby things. Make sure its JUST almonds. I use it to "bread" stuff too.

I also found a recipe for lowfat cottage cheese alfredo sauce made with regular milk- looks amazing, adding it to my list.

https://40aprons.com/cottage-cheese-alfredo/
https://www.thelittlepine.com/almond-flour-pasta/

I just wanted to say re: STDs - THIS is why you get to know potential partners before having sex with them. Talk openly, honestly, candidly about STD testing and status. Request paperwork from their Dr. Be forthcoming with these as well. Yes it's ok to ask this of potential FWB. You're respecting the sanctity of your health and body as well as theirs. Ask if they have other partners too. USE CONDOMS ANYWAY. If you can't TALK about sex, and sexual health, you shouldn't be having it. Also, don't be a douchebag and f**k up someone's marriage (your own included). Bad karma.

Hey there, I'm Italian too (pre-op though) taught how to cook by my 1st gen Nona. I'm on my 6 month pre-op slow-carb diet plan rn. For Pasta what I'm doing is using a food processor to mince veggies and garlic together, cooking and seasoning it with the meat (I half cook the meat first), then adding the sauce to it (about 3:1 veggies to meat, tonight I used carrots & broccoli) then instead of eating it with pasta I eat it over red Beans. It's still carbs, but not the kind that make you fat or spike your blood sugar since they are slower to digest and have Protein and fiber. The veggies meld with Tomato sauce seamlessly and you get a lot of good nutrients in every ingredient (vs. the empty calories of pasta.) (I'm a bit of a child in that I often prefer hiding my veggies from myself.)

I agree with the above re: cauliflower crusts, just be careful about store bought ones and store-bought pre-made cauliflower crust pizzas because they can sometimes be a lot more flour than cauliflower and that's not the droid you're looking for. Best to make your own honestly. For risottos I find using riced cauliflower to be a pretty good substitute- it's super yummy when cooked with some marsala or sherry & chicken broth (I like mushrooms, shallots and garlic too). You can also get a spiralizer and use that for an alt. pasta with zucchini, squash or carrots. Cream sauces can be tricky because the usual recipe is heavy cream or 1/2 & 1/2. You can use milk with a little low fat cheese for flavor then thicken with a little xanthan gum. That is IF you can tolerate dairy.

This is of course for once you are on regular food. For a while you're gonna have to take things slow and figure out what your body needs and can handle. A lot of these cravings are part of the brain aspect of weight loss. Your bariatric team should include a counselor and/ or support group (besides us!) that can help you with it.

***I swear I didn't add all these hyperlinks- wth?

My dr told me that alcohol was a serious no-go post op. She literally described it as becoming as addictive as CRACK because of the way the body processes it (post bypass)... was she exaggerating?

Another way to do it is to give yourself a "cheat day." If you get in the mindset that you only have those things one day per week, you can hold out if you're craving it until that day. I'm that way, but not everyone is.

I just took my written test last week, it's really no big deal. Some of it is obvious, like "do you hear voices?" kind of thing, some of it is stuff like t/f "I had a great relationship with my father." Some of it is things like t/f "when I am upset, I turn to food for comfort." Then there was this, IMO trick question: t/f "I like everyone I know." (I answered false, but there's more than one connotation to that one, isn't there?) You'll do fine.