OnMyWay1956

Thanks that did it!!!

Are you tracking the foods that you are eating? You may be getting to many carbs in your diet. If you are having your period (for the whole month???) that could very well be the reason. I would get to a doctor and find out why you are having your period all month and get that under control first. Does you bariatric doctor know about you having your period? I would make sure that they are aware of it since you could be anemic losing that amount of blood. Please see your doctor and get that under control before your surgery...

I love my bariatric therapist. She's a HUGE part of working this life change (for me, anywho) and has been absolutely indispensible to finding a new normal that isn't extreme. There's a lot of lifescript to rewrite...to get this food addiction thing worked out in my case. Like all relationships....part of the relationship is listening and compromise. I listen to food and my body and try to make sensible compromises now. My big thing has been getting away from the extreme thinking where food is concerned. I tend to go....to hell with it, I'll eat whatever I want OR I must control and document every micronutrient and be PERFECT! For years, there was no inbetween and there was no winning. Making peace...learning to really be accountable, but reasonable....has been the biggest part of the work for me. Therapy has helped with this bigtime.

OK so its the holidays and now they are over. Every year I miss my family more since I can't spend time with them. They live in a different state and its always been a struggle for me since it was my decision to move. I have lived here since 1997 but I had my sister here when I moved, so not so hard. Now my closest family member is about 5 hours away (my daughter). I am married to a very loving man for 18 years, but not so big on holidays. OK enough background.
I had surgery on 9/16/20 after 3 cancellations over the last year. So I had plenty of education about what to expect and lots of time to think about it. I thought I was very ready and would breeze right through recovery. Boy was I wrong!! I don't regret having the surgery, but really thought that it will be easy afterwards. I'm mostly referring to emotional preparing. The first two months of controlled eating is fine. Sure you can't wait to add in other foods and get bored, but when you add in the other foods is when the challenge starts. I thought I was so prepared to face those foods and felt so strong that I wouldn't go back to the old ways, but I am still struggling with those cravings. I was convinced that I would be one of those that would have the cravings disappear, like some do, but it isn't working that way for me.
I can't get myself into this new way of life and am challenged every day with what I KNOW is right vs what my mind is telling me to do. I wake up every morning with a great attitude and track my Breakfast, but the rest of my day just falls apart....no tracking, eating whatever and whenever, trying to tell my hands to listen to what my brain is telling them, but it just doesn't work. Every day I go to bed in tears because I know that I messed up again. I am going to seek a good counselor to help me with this, because I do want it to work and I want to be healthy. But please, if you are going to have surgery, and think you know how it will be, don't be so sure of yourself and make sure you don't think that you know how it will be.

Get some very good counseling before your surgery. I wish I would have gone every week for 3-4 months before my surgery. Also, don't think you should over indulge everything that you think you won't get to eat after surgery, before you have your surgery. You will be able to eat most of what you have been eating, just not as much. And it will be cooked healthier. Start that way of eating prior to your surgery so you will be in the habit of eating that way after the first 2 months of controlled eating after your surgery. If I had it to do over, that is what I would do. Right now, my old way of eating is taking away the glory that I wanted after my surgery. Please, please, please don't fall into the eating style that got you to where is needed this surgery. It's going to take me a while to get back on track.....

I had never heard of this before so I looked up their website. They’re currently offering a free trial package of single servings. Just though I’d let anyone know who is wanting to try it out. You might have to pay shipping though, I didn’t check on that. 😊

Thanks for all the positive feedback and support. Its great to know that I'm not alone either. That is one thing that weighs heavy on my food issues....I feel so alone. My husband is disabled and sleeps different hours and long hours than I do. Being alone is really hard for me. I am disabled also, but I have trouble sleeping, so have many hours to myself. I have crafts to do when my hands don't hurt to much, and I have a treadmill that I am just starting to use. My left knee needs to be replaced, but I have 20 more lbs to lose before they will do that.
I am a very positive person and don't dwell on the negatives very often, so when I do they are twice as heavy on me. I know that God is with me and I can get through anything in His time. I wanted to let this out and get on with my losing the lbs. It really helps to put things down on paper instead of holding them inside.
Thanks again for your responses....lots of good ideas and suggestions!!!

Have you ever considered maybe writing this down. Maybe your calling is writing? I had a pretty rough child hood and went to counseling and psych Drs and all kinds of situations and in the end I wrote and I wrote and a friend read what I wrote and recommended I send it to a publisher and I laughed at her because I never thought of writing a book. I have since wrote two books.
I no longer struggle with my childhood demons and now I have the strength to get ahold of my weight issues as well.
Maybe writing about your food addictions and getting healthy will help you realize how to get back on track. Not saying you have to send it into publishers or anything but if you want to you never know!!!! People need to know about the struggles of WLS. WLS is not a magic trick, its super hard work and dedication. You will get on track but think about writing, your honesty and writing style is super nice reading.

I too am finding that I have cravings for the unhealthy foods I love. I don't keep those foods in the house - my husband's diabetic so we wouldn't have them in for him either, which makes it far easier to resist the cravings. I'm aware however that part of this is that mentally I feel I'm still "dieting" i.e. not at my goal weight. Once (hopefully) I reach goal weight I know I'm going to find it really difficult not to fall back into old habits. I need to deal with this. Thanks for your post which helps me know it's not just me who struggles.

You can get back on track. Anything that messes with one’s regular routine, the holidays, can make things rough. My surgery was 11/9, and I’ve been doing pretty good, I can ignore the pangs of wanting stuff, but my husband was off work for almost 3 weeks when our entire house picked up COVID somewhere, we don’t even go anywhere so we aren’t sure where we got that little blessing. Anywho, the last week he was home he felt good, but he couldn’t go back until he actually tested negative, and since he felt good he was home snacking constantly and it was really messing with my daily vibe. I didn’t want to exercise in front of him or walk on the treadmill, I was constantly pulling my hand back from a snack I didn’t even want but was merely there...it was tough. I was soooo glad when he went back to work and the kid’s and my day got back to normal. I’m in my groove again, but I get what you are talking about, and you can and will get back into the place you want to be!

I am so impressed with your honesty! I think it will help many people as they get ready for this major change.
I am almost a year out, and I find I have to work hard every day to not fall into my old eating habits. I know by now some of these habits should be second nature, but I have 60 + years of bad habits to break.
A couple of things that have helped me: I try to always have an easy Protein, that I like the taste of, on hand, so when I need to eat something it is not horrible! The key for me is to have it taste good! For me those Proteins include: Rotisserie chicken salad, Hard Boiled Egg with a little salt, Siggi Yoghurt, Kibo chips and an OZ. of cheddar cheese.
I also have found a herbal tea or 2 that I look forward to with some fake sugar (I use Stevia because I can't stand the taste of most of the others). I have a large mug (24 oz.) and I make tea every morning and sip on it until it is gone. That has really helped me regulate my mealtimes while I am working remotely every day!
Finally, I took the advice of many and find a reason to move every hour, even if it is a 5 minute walk in the neighborhood or even around my house if it is raining! That way your metabolism remembers we aren't in a coma! lol. When I am on work calls I pace around the house, which confuses my dogs and annoys my family, but it keeps me moving. I am lucky because I love to hike, something I had given up on when I was heavier. If there is an activity you enjoy, even if it dancing to one song on the radio, or doing some calisthenics for 5 minutes, or walking in place during tv commercials, it will help up your metabolism and improve your mood.
Before WLS, by a couple of years, my lifelong problems with anxiety, which I always wrote off to work stress, or just general irritability, got diagnosed. I take an anti-depressant with an anti-anxiety component, and after a couple of months on it I felt like a new person! Not for everyone, of course, but mental health care is HEALTH CARE.
Good luck to you! I hope you find a good counsellor who understands disordered eating, and who understands WLS.

It is really hard to make these changes, even with surgery! Most of us have developed poor eating habits over the course of a lifetime, and we can't change them overnight. Good for you for taking action to get counseling and get back on track. This is a great time to resolve to make the changes you need for your health.
How do you track your food? If you haven't tried an app like MyFitnessPal or Baritastic, those make it so much easier than tracking on paper. I don't know if this will help you, but something that has helped me is to make it a personal rule that I always track my food BEFORE I eat it. I often plan out what I'm going to eat for the whole day, and then I don't even need to worry about tracking it as long as I only eat what I entered.
I probably have it a little easier than most people because I live alone, so I'm not constantly around food that I shouldn't eat. It is hard on those occasions that I am, like when I'm at work and people bring in treats to share. I also live in a rural area where there aren't many restaurants around, but I even have a hard time when I drive to the city and have to pass all of the restaurants I love. It might be easier for you to avoid temptation if you can physically stay away from the foods that tempt you. If possible, get rid of the foods that aren't on your plan. I assume your husband eats some foods that aren't on your plan, but maybe you could keep those foods in a different cabinet so you don't have to look at them. Also, just stay out of the kitchen as much as possible.
Do you use Pinterest? I have found lots of healthy meal ideas there -- things that I am excited about making and eating. Since I am eating small portions, one recipe can make a bunch of meals to freeze for later, so I have a freezer full of individual portions that I can just throw in the microwave. When you have food you like that fits into your plan, there's a lot less temptation to go off track.

Thank you for your honest sharing. It will help many here. It's a struggle and so much of our eating problems are emotional and mental health related (boredom, stress, anxiety, depression, worry) that counseling really helps.

Onmyway1956, I applaud you for your clear, honest sharing. For many of us, the challenging moments, routines, less than ideal habits that we faced preop do present themselves again as life normalizes, postop. For me, it is one day at a time and sometimes one moment at a time.

I’ve posted a reminder note on my mirror that simply states “RISE ABOVE”, for in those moments, there is not always time nor inclination for lengthy self talk. Doesn’t work 100% of the time, but does force me into Conscious Choice vs the unconscious reaching for that walked me into trouble.

My 2021 motto is to “RISE ABOVE” those moments seeking to derail me. When I’m with others who are able to indulge, I remind myself to resist, and realize the fact that within X amount of minutes their indulgence WILL be over and my resistance muscle WILL be strengthened. Be strong, be patient, be laser focussed on why I am seeking better health.
Sending love and all best wishes to you, don’t give up! And thanks again for sharing.

OK so its the holidays and now they are over. Every year I miss my family more since I can't spend time with them. They live in a different state and its always been a struggle for me since it was my decision to move. I have lived here since 1997 but I had my sister here when I moved, so not so hard. Now my closest family member is about 5 hours away (my daughter). I am married to a very loving man for 18 years, but not so big on holidays. OK enough background.
I had surgery on 9/16/20 after 3 cancellations over the last year. So I had plenty of education about what to expect and lots of time to think about it. I thought I was very ready and would breeze right through recovery. Boy was I wrong!! I don't regret having the surgery, but really thought that it will be easy afterwards. I'm mostly referring to emotional preparing. The first two months of controlled eating is fine. Sure you can't wait to add in other foods and get bored, but when you add in the other foods is when the challenge starts. I thought I was so prepared to face those foods and felt so strong that I wouldn't go back to the old ways, but I am still struggling with those cravings. I was convinced that I would be one of those that would have the cravings disappear, like some do, but it isn't working that way for me.
I can't get myself into this new way of life and am challenged every day with what I KNOW is right vs what my mind is telling me to do. I wake up every morning with a great attitude and track my Breakfast, but the rest of my day just falls apart....no tracking, eating whatever and whenever, trying to tell my hands to listen to what my brain is telling them, but it just doesn't work. Every day I go to bed in tears because I know that I messed up again. I am going to seek a good counselor to help me with this, because I do want it to work and I want to be healthy. But please, if you are going to have surgery, and think you know how it will be, don't be so sure of yourself and make sure you don't think that you know how it will be.

Get some very good counseling before your surgery. I wish I would have gone every week for 3-4 months before my surgery. Also, don't think you should over indulge everything that you think you won't get to eat after surgery, before you have your surgery. You will be able to eat most of what you have been eating, just not as much. And it will be cooked healthier. Start that way of eating prior to your surgery so you will be in the habit of eating that way after the first 2 months of controlled eating after your surgery. If I had it to do over, that is what I would do. Right now, my old way of eating is taking away the glory that I wanted after my surgery. Please, please, please don't fall into the eating style that got you to where is needed this surgery. It's going to take me a while to get back on track.....

I was just sitting here with my coffee and had all these thought running through my head so I started putting them down on paper as sometimes do. Hope you enjoy it----
Twas the night before bypass and all through my head
Was a mixture of feelings, thoughts, and cheers.
I have worked hard to get here and this day has come,
Its time to cheer and shout, Tell the world “Here I come”
No more will I hide behind this wall of shame
That kept me from being the person I am,
The true me is coming, I’m ready to shine
So onward pride, happiness, love, peace, and joy
You will show the sadness, guilt, and loneliness where to go,
There is a new me inside all ready to show.
So know that the fear, anxiousness, and worry is there now,
But remember just what the purpose is and it will bring a big smile.

After 1 failed surgery and 1 cancelled surgery, I believe that the 3rd attempt is going to happen. I am excitedly nervous after the first attempted surgery my blood pressure dropped to 40/20 and my O2 went into the 60's after the anesthesia was given to me and they had to stop the surgery. That was exactly one year ago on 9/5/2019. Then I was scheduled again 3/26/2020 but we all know what happened in March (Covid), when our lives were all halted, so no surgery then. Over the last year, I have been diagnosed with a rare form of asthma and the treatment for that has been successful, my blood tests and pressures are all very stable, and I feel that my body and mind are finally ready for this to happen.
I am scheduled to have my RnY on 9/16. After all this time (I have been waiting for this for 3 years) I can't believe it is actually going to happen. If you think that going on the pre-op diet once is bad, try 3 times....LOL BTW-does anyone ever cheat on the pre-op diet??? This diet sure reinforces my decision to have the surgery, so I can have a smaller stomach and less hunger to help me stay in control of my food. It is so hard to control my food, on this pre-op diet, for just two weeks.
I am a Christian and have always felt that God was leading me to do this. I know that Dr Hunter is Very good and has brought me this far. He would not be doing this if he wasn't sure of the procedure. I have to be in the operating room for 6-8 hours because he has to take down my Nissin surgery before he can do my RNY. I know that God will be with the team and watching over me......

I was just sitting here with my coffee and had all these thought running through my head so I started putting them down on paper as sometimes do. Hope you enjoy it----
Twas the night before bypass and all through my head
Was a mixture of feelings, thoughts, and cheers.
I have worked hard to get here and this day has come,
Its time to cheer and shout, Tell the world “Here I come”
No more will I hide behind this wall of shame
That kept me from being the person I am,
The true me is coming, I’m ready to shine
So onward pride, happiness, love, peace, and joy
You will show the sadness, guilt, and loneliness where to go,
There is a new me inside all ready to show.
So know that the fear, anxiousness, and worry is there now,
But remember just what the purpose is and it will bring a big smile.

Both of you have great ideas and I will try both of them. I just discovered a recipe site for the different stages of recovery after WLS and will be trying a few of those recipes also.

https://bariatricdiet.upmc.com/

with puree stage, I did ricotta bakes -- i made them in 1/4 cup size and would be lucky to get 1 down. If I did, my brain would be like "ANOTHA ONE!" and by the time i would fix a second, I would feel full. It sounds more like a mental thing with your wanting more than a physical. Give yourself time to adjust to your new body and your new mindset. Try to eat slower if you find yourself wanting more.
I also had refried Beans, apple sauce with cinnamon, puree egg salad (eggs, a bit of dijon mustard and a bit of mayo or greek yogurt). Pinterest was a life saver for me w/recipes.. greek yogurt w/flavored Protein Powder, Jello Protein shots..

It is much easier to get Protein when you can eat purées. Puréed foods can hide the flavor of Protein Powder much better than Protein Drinks. Here are some of my favorites:
Greek yogurt mixed with protein powder (I like vanilla yogurt with chocolate flavored protein powder and powdered peanut butter). sugar-free pudding mixed with protein powder pureed refried Beans mixed with unflavored protein powder (I like to top the beans with enchilada sauce, Laughing Cow cheese, and Flavor God nacho cheese powder) Applesauce mixed with unflavored protein powder and a tiny splash of sugar-free caramel Syrup Protein oatmeal mixed with cinnamon roll protein powder Pureed black bean Soup mixed with unflavored protein powder You might also want to browse the BariatricPal Store because they have a lot of protein-fortified foods like Soups, oatmeal, pudding, etc. that you can try. One of my personal favorites is protein hot cocoa. It tastes like normal hot cocoa (no yucky protein taste) and if you mix it with Fairlife milk instead of Water, it’s a lot of protein.

I imagine what they're thinking when a person as far overweight as me would eat 3oz of Protein, if I ate at all, leaving the plate barely touched. They were horrified.
It's about the time I started terribly over-tipping. I wanted them to really believe that we enjoyed ourselves, even if I only ate a couple bites of that perfectly cooked prime rib. Another reason eating out was a tense time that I generally gave up on.

I couldn't really go out the first month or so post-op because it was really hard to find anything on menus that "worked" for me. After that, I'd get things like a shrimp cocktail and eat three or four shrimp. I don't think people really noticed. I did go to an Indian place once and got this pureed spinach dish that was marvelous, but I could only eat like 1/4 C of it. The staff was freaked out, thinking I didn't like the meal. I kept reassuring them that I was fine - and it was delicious - I think I told them I had an ulcer or something so I couldn't eat very much, but I'd love to take it home - but they kept going on and on, saying they'd bring me something else - and I think they also sent me home with a dessert. That was....awkward. So be prepared for something like that - although it may not happen, depending on where you go. I'd also order things like Soup or chili.

Thanks it will be great!!

Stage 3 is pureed foods or chew to the consistency of baby food. There is a list of foods I can choose from, which include, eggs, canned chicken, tuna, cottage cheese, baby bel cheese (chewed of course), sweet potato, etc, but you get the kinds of foods involved. I am going to go enjoy my first soft scrambled egg for breakfast in just a few minutes....YUM!!!

Same here...I have multiple health conditions and take MANY pills. For those of you who didn't have any pills to take in the first place, just stop and think about where you are heading and the road ahead of you will had a lot less pills/meds in the future because you are taking care of your health now and won't have all those health problems from being overweight in the future.....
After surgery, I couldn't even take all my prescribed pills PLUS the Vitamins added to them. My Surgeons nurse did a great job of getting me on a schedule that worked until I saw them, but I still couldn't get on a eat, drink, pills, repeat pattern. I am two weeks out and I still struggle with all the pills. I am stopping more and more of the prescribed meds, but also went to my RX Pharmacist and they went through my med list and told me which ones could be consumed/ordered in a chewable/liquid form. I believe that I am getting a handle on the pills now, but I am trying to reduce the number of pills. I believe as the weight comes off of me and I get healthier, I will be able to get rid of more of my prescribed meds.