epicdreams2020

This may sound funny, but my boobs are literally tipping me over. I was a 46H and now the right one weighs less than the left (getting a mammogram Monday) and my gait is off. I am a size 18-20 on the bottom and whatever (???) size on top. I had spinal surgery and need tests to make sure my hardware is still intact. Either way, I need a breast reduction, which my insurance may not cover and I need to make a hefty down payment. Uggghhhh!!! It also took me months to get through the stages and honestly I am still (since 12/2/2019) between stages 3 and 4.

...with smaller clothing and other victories. I am struggling this month and being hard on myself because my weight loss slowed. Yesterday I spilled a glass of water on the floor and cleaned the mess without assistance. I stopped for a moment and thought about how difficult (impossible) that was a few months ago. I am not always happy with the numbers on the scale, but I am happy with the changes in my body and non-scale victories. The crazy thing for me is as much as I wanted to change, I realize I never planned for succeeding. I now weigh less than I have in 25 years and barely recognize the difference. In my head, I am still almost 400 lbs, which is where I was before my December 2, 2019, gastric sleeve. I think I am more scared of succeeding than I am failing - which is weird because I have always dreamed of being smaller. The problem was that I never mentally planned for what that would look like. Now that this change has come out of my dreams and into my life, I am not sure what to do with it. Weight loss triggers a lot of painful things for me - some connected to a sense of security I felt being severely morbidly obese. I always felt this sense of invisibility, which is really weird because at 5'3 and 381 I was anything but invisible!!! Still, I need to take a step back and remember why I started this journey. I am in a self-sabotaging cycle that has made me stuck - plus or minus 8-10 lbs. I have been secluded with COVID and not reaching out for support, even with support readily available. Today I am starting my day differently going back to the basics with measuring food, drinking water, and eliminating the slider foods that trigger me to overeat. I have been bulimic for most of my life and now I am weirdly swinging the other way with not eating in regular intervals and when my body is physically hungry, I eat something. Mentally I know that I must eat to lose weight, but its a struggle with how my feelings around food trigger me to forget my diet and eat what I want. I grew accustomed to not being able to eat and hoped that would continue. Now, it depends on the day. I cannot eat a lot, but 'a lot' is relative, after the gastric sleeve. I am struggling to get back to focused efforts on mindful eating. Can anyone relate to what I am experiencing?

Not really after the first 2-3 days. because my surgeon gave me a tap block at the surgical site to reduce the post-op pain and need for medication. I had my gall bladder removed before the port site was incredibly painful. This experience was much different.

My sleeve date was 12/2/2019. I have been doing well so far, but I need to remind myself I am only 3 months post op. I am still struggling with solid foods especially meat and vomiting. I am happy with my progress. The hardest part is dealing with the mental/emotional cravings seeing and wanting foods I can no longer eat. I just take it one day at a time.

Definitely nonstick skillet with olive oil spray. I cannot handle anything greasy. I have tried them both hard and soft scrambled where they came out light and fluffy. My nutritionist recommended blended them but that smell is really off-putting. I can handle almost a whole boiled egg, but not always. I use protein shakes and water, yogurt, low fat cheese, and hummus for protein. I also add unflavored whey protein powder to things to make sure I get enough. My brain wants to eat, but the experience has become a chore I need to schedule.

Thanks! I will definitely try the greek yogurt. I have tried using only the whites or diluting them with egg whites. For some reason they come right back up.

I would reiterate what everyone has said about sticking to your doctor's plan. I am almost 3 months out and what I think I can eat and am actually able to handle are two different things. Everyone heals differently and I am still struggling with Stage 3. Even the foods that you think are soft enough do not work well. I used to love eggs but still have a hard time with them and most meat.

Lol! None of it! I still cannot handle the food chucks or digest raw veggies. I average 3-4 oz per meal. Thanks for sharing the picture since you are further out than I am. One of my fears has been that I will return to large plates of food. Glad to know I am not alone. Congratulations on your success!! Your weight loss is inspiring.

Hi Michael, I agree that you should focus more on hydration as opposed to protein intake in the beginning. I would suggest talking to your surgeon/dietician about the shakes because I started with clear liquids for the first few weeks. There are protein waters that you can use as your stomach heals. I also had trouble with thirst in the beginning and felt like I was drinking too much. Be careful and try to measure because I have thrown up from drinking too much too fast. I had one incision site that really hurt and looked bruised. The surgeon said that is usually the site of the port where they remove your stomach. It gets better though. Good luck! M-

@AJ Tylo I like that idea. Did you have any problems with constipation using them?

My starting weight was 382. I struggled with the decision to have the surgery because I will tell you that it does not fix the reasons why you eat. That is the hardest part. I went through a period after surgery of grieving for the things that I can no longer eat and not being able to turn to food to fix what I am feeling at any given time. My eating was already disordered and unhealthy, and the surgery only makes it harder to continue those disordered behaviors. As a 46 year-old female, I convinced myself that I did not care about the fat shaming and what other people thought, but I was lying to myself. WLS surgery is a very personal choice and a journey that even with all the help and support, you will ultimately walk alone. Sure, it helps when my friends and family triumph my successes, but they do not share the daily struggles of the experience. I am only 3 months post-op and the only hot tip I can give you is if/when you make the decision to move forward, you write down the reasons why. You will need to remind yourself why you started and motivate yourself to keep going.

I was actually thinking the same thing! I have such a hard time with any kind of meat, but the pureed meat thing is not appealing. I like the before and after food pictures idea. When I need a gentle nudge, I watch My 600-lb life to remind me why I am doing this.

Congratulations! I can relate. My starting weight was 382 and I have had some stall too. Just remember you got this!

I am only a few months post-op and I continue to struggle with the 'what ifs.' I had a PCP who recommended the surgery for years, but I was scared of the risks. Now, I am in my mid-40's and just try to take it one day at a time. Everyone's journey is different. Just remember 'you got this' no matter what comes your way.

I am almost 3 months post-op and my stomach still makes the churning noises, not just at night. The only thing that helps a little at night is drinking water. It is still pretty weird.