CyndieRI

Yeah, so love all the responses above!!!
When I decided on this, I chose to keep it pretty private. Why? Cuz I decided that I am NOT nor do I have to be the poster child for the advancement of WLS. The good news is I don't have to educate people on "WHY" this surgery is lifesaving and why obesity is now classified as a disease and why diet and exercise is a myth. It's so freeing!
And besides...you can't argue with crazy. hehehe (but I think someone already said that brilliantly!)

This is how I feel. I understand the want to educate others—but I don't waste my time on trying to educate those who clearly don't want to listen. If people genuinely have questions and are willing to hear what I have to say, of course I don't mind giving them information. But for those who have already written it off, I just ignore it. Why waste the time and energy?

Unless the person is someone close to me and I can tell they really were sincere and meant well with the statement, I don't engage. In my case, I'm a food addict - it's like telling an alcoholic to just stop drinking. No 💩 Sherlock 🙄

I don't think that seeing a certain number on a scale will make someone truly happy if they aren't already a happy person. I was pretty miserable when I started this journey, but I'm not anymore. It has nothing to do with the number on the scale; it's just that I'm so much healthier, and I'm able to go out and do more things.

I have been wanting WLS for years but my husband always would say “just stop eating so much and you’ll lose weight!” DUH!! And like a fool, I put it off for years. This time I had all my pre-op testing and had a surgery date before I told him! He again tried to persuade me to NOT have the surgery - but I did it on 10/10/18 and I feel great! He eventually got on board (he didn’t have a choice) and he has been supportive now!

Shockingly neither my regular doctor nor my cardiologist ever suggested WLS. I’m 5’7” and have been over 300lbs for over 10 years. (Highest weight was 365). When I mentioned it to both of them (needed clearance from both for the surgery) they were both onboard right away. I wonder why they never mentioned it to me themselves. Maybe male doctors feel weird bringing WLS up to their female patients?!??

My former primary care doc told me he preferred “more conservative methods” and I just needed to watch my portions. My current primary care didn’t suggest weight loss surgery, but was totally on board when I brought it up.

My cardiologist strongly suggested that I look into doing it. Eventually, I’ll need to have my aortic valve replaced, thanks to drawing what’s likely a genetic short straw, but he said losing weight could lengthen the amount of time before needing the replacement surgery. I think I ignored it at the time, but he’s the only one whoever brought it up.

I don’t understand why doctors do not mention it to patients who have weight related illnesses or health problems, especially if they are advising them they need to lose weight. They really ought to provide more guidance/options for losing weight.

I was constantly told to lose weight by doctors but WLS was never suggested. I should have had the surgery 10-15 years ago, and the stigma absolutely pushed me away from it. I was ashamed that I couldn't do it on my own I guess...and yet I didn't think a bit less of anyone else who had it. I am only 7 weeks out but I can already tell that I made the right decision and I wish I would have done it sooner instead of spending my youth obese, unhealthy and unhappy. I missed out on so many things because of my obesity.
I don't see this changing in the near future, at least not in the United States. People are extremely judgemental and have a punitive attitude when it comes to medical intervention. You see that attitude not only toward obesity but also addiction, pain management and mental illness. I get enraged every time I see someone post something on social media about "You don't need antidepressants, you need running shoes." People think if they just eat enough kale and do enough crossfit that there is no need for a flu shot. People are even judgemental when it comes to cancer! I am all for natural remedies when possible but I am incredibly grateful to live in an age of modern medical interventions and I will absolutely use any tools I can to make myself healthier and happier.

My PCP, a relatively young woman, recommended the VGS to me. It took me about a year to decide to do it, after watching several friends have successful VGS procedures. My psychiatrist, a Yale doctor in his 80s told me he thought it was a great idea when I asked him. He knew I had lost 80 lbs on Phentermine, fought to keep it off, and gained it back. He told me he recommended it to other patients. My BMI was 40 and I had zero push back from the medical community.
And about it being the easy way out? I pay someone to clean my house. I just ordered groceries to be delivered. I don't think this is the easy way out, but if it is, BRING IT.

Well. It happened. Someone (online) said to me "seems like dieting and exercising would have just been easier" in response to a convo I was having with other bypass/vsg patients. I wrote this long snarky reply along the lines of "WOW! I never considered that once in the 10 years I've been super morbidly obese and struggling with eating disorders since I was a child! You could have saved me SO much time and money!" etc etc. And then started explaining energy expenditure rates between bypass patients and dieters. But then I deleted it. UGH. WTF do people truly think? That we just wake up one day and decide, without ever attempting to lose weight via other means, that you just jump into the OR and have 95% of your stomach chopped off? I mean WTF. Sorry, but it is so hard to bite my tongue, but I did. And I am proud of myself for not engaging. lol. Not something I do regularly.
My mother was like this, too, pre-op. She just hammered that I never *really* tried and that if I stuck to a diet for years I would *eventually* lose the weight, albeit being completely and utterly miserable and at-risk for rebound weight gain exponentially higher than WLS patients, etc. You all know the stats. BUT, I did argue back and forth with her. She never supported it, but is really my only family and pretends to be supportive now. When I have problems she blows them way out of proportion, but generally has cooled her jets about the whole thing. She tries.
Do you guys ever engage with the "why didn't you just diet and exercise" people? Or just roll your eyes so far in the back of your head they get stuck there for a while? Sometimes I feel like I want to educate, but I also know it's a lost cause.

Ok people have talked about this before, but I wanted to share or put my 2 cents and my experience in. I'm past 8 months, 253 days post op to be exact. I wasn't a huge drinker but when I drank it was usually more than 2 drinks, so the long and short of it was I always got a hefty buzz or drunk, but I never drank unless I went out so I didn't see it as a "problem". But it was classic binge drinking when I did drink.
Post surgery- after my ok to drink , I had some wine, first glass I didn't get drunk any faster, halfway through second I could be good but since we can't eat AND drink then why ruin my buzz, right? I eat well, I drink my Water, I quit smoking, so I'd have some wine on the weekends (not normal for me) weekends turned into many days of the week, then every night. I've lost 104 now, I was still losing when I drank because I ate very little and I only drank wine. (I'm NOT glorifying any of this) With bariatric surgery I don't think there's a ok 2 glasses and I'm ok (as in not too drunk/tipsy, etc) . Pour that third glass and I was zero to 💯 and for me I would be drunk a lot longer.
Alcoholism is huge in my family, why I thought having a few glasses of wine all the time was a good idea, maybe it filled the void. I tried to rationalize it with myself that because I couldn't eat and couldn't smoke anymore that having a few glasses was ok. I've been in therapy for food addiction, he said this isn't really transfer addiction because I didn't really have true food addiction.
I guess I'm posting this for anyone who asks about drinking and if you have a history of any addiction or alcoholism in the family I would be cautious of alcohol. I should've known, thought about it more, but now I carry a chip from AA in my pocket everyday. I had a problem binge drinking before surgery, and yes you can be an alcoholic even if you don't drink that much, with me I drank to be buzzed or to get drunk.
Im not posting this to be policed about the calories in wine or how it halts weight loss or to be bullied for making a poor choice. I'm posting this in the hopes that someone may read it who may be like me and start drinking a lot, or if someone is in recovery and wants to talk. If you do decide drink, be careful, it stayed in my bloodstream for a long time.

Shockingly neither my regular doctor nor my cardiologist ever suggested WLS. I’m 5’7” and have been over 300lbs for over 10 years. (Highest weight was 365). When I mentioned it to both of them (needed clearance from both for the surgery) they were both onboard right away. I wonder why they never mentioned it to me themselves. Maybe male doctors feel weird bringing WLS up to their female patients?!??

Oh gawd, I did it even though I KNEW I shouldn't. I ate a whole pack of crisps (not them teeny weeny ones either) and boy am I regretting it now. Ohhhh deliver me from my bad decisionsssssssss.

Sent from my SM-G930F using BariatricPal mobile app

Shockingly neither my regular doctor nor my cardiologist ever suggested WLS. I’m 5’7” and have been over 300lbs for over 10 years. (Highest weight was 365). When I mentioned it to both of them (needed clearance from both for the surgery) they were both onboard right away. I wonder why they never mentioned it to me themselves. Maybe male doctors feel weird bringing WLS up to their female patients?!??

This is a great thread!! I’m experiencing the same, when people ask me how much more weight do I plan to lose I say “ I’ll know when I get there” 😂😂 that seems to stop them in their tracks and then they look dumbfounded...I knew questions like this would be coming as I started losing weight and I’ve thought about it long and hard about it so I don’t have a problem telling people that I’m not looking for unsolicited advice regarding my weight.

One lady at work constantly has to check me out everyday, one day I was so cold at work so I was wrapped up in my throw for most of the day, she asked me to take my throw off so she could see how much more weight I had lost....lol just nuts.

We all know when we are where we want to be in this journey!! You all inspire me 🥰

I feel you. I’m 230lbs, about 50lbs from my surgeons goal and about 60lbs from my own goal. I’ve had a couple of people ask if I was at my goal and tell me I shouldn’t lose more that 20 or so more pounds or I “wouldn’t look right”... Seriously? I think it’s just I would no longer look like they think I should. I don’t think people realize how odd and out of line such comments are. I always respond with, “well- I’m just following my doctor’s program and they think xxx is a healthy goal for me.”

One of my favorite anecdotes is when a a good looking colleague of mine says in a great southern drawl .... "Girl, you look amazing, you must have lost 30 lbs!" I said, "Yeah, something like that" It was actually 75 lbs at that point
Most people have no idea how much others really weigh!

I hate when people use the term, skeletal, to refer to one’s appearance. The only people who do that have body image issues themselves, imo, so their opinion is clouded and should not be considered.
My experience is that people who have met me since I lost all my weight think I look great, but some people that knew me when I was obese think I’ve gotten too thin. They’re wrong. They’re just used to me as the fat lady and don’t want to change their image of me.
Don’t let anyone other than a trusted doctor (if warranted) influence how much weight you lose or what your goal weight should be. To be frank, wearing a size 14 is not indicative of someone that is skeletal or too skinny. Only you can decide what is the healthiest weight for you. It may be in the normal BMI range (low, mid, high), or it may not be. Your body, your decision.

I HATE the question “how much have you lost?” I’m so proud of my 91 lbs but I feel like when I say the number people turn into a deer in the headlights trying to calculate “god how fat did she used to be???”

Should have gotten my hair cut short years ago. Wouldn't have needed WLS!

Yeah, that haircut is reallllly flattering! Who knew that the right cut could make you look 100 pounds lighter?

Hi, I'm not an advanced member but why are you going back to eat again after 1 hour? Try drinking Water or taking a walk...the surgery is only a tool and we have to do our part...we are all here because we have a problem with food either overeating/binge eating, stress eating, emotional eating or whatever the case may be.
Of course eventually if you keep overeating and then throwing up and going back for more food you will indeed ruin your tool...I suggest getting help from a therapist because it seems like you are slipping back into bad habits...We HAVE to learn to "Eat to live and not Live to eat"
We all want you to succeed but you have to do your part like you did in the beginning. You lost weight before so you can do it again. Get some help and take care of yourself.
I wish you all the best and we are here for you. ((Hugs))

“Most obese patients who qualify for weight loss surgery don’t seek it out, and that may be due at least partly to stigma, a U.S. survey suggests.”
“Nearly half of randomly-chosen survey participants said they believe the procedure is usually done for cosmetic rather than health reasons, and about 40 percent thought people who choose the surgery have taken “the easy way out,” …”
“This is actually a problem with physicians, too. Often they give patients advice to lose weight, but they don’t refer the patient to a weight loss specialist.”
Stigma May Keep People From Getting Weight Loss Surgery
https://www.reuters.com/article/us-health-obesity-surgery-attitudes/stigma-may-keep-people-from-getting-weight-loss-surgery-idUSKBN1OC2JF
Weight Loss Surgery Carries 'Easy Way Out' Stigma
https://www.webmd.com/diet/obesity/news/20181212/weight-loss-surgery-carries-easy-way-out-stigma#1

soo just a quick question... is it still a NSV if you find yourself chasing your toddler through the mall on Christmas eve and you pants fall down to your ankles? still feeling mortified and joyful at the same time about that one.... Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday!

So the movies was kind of the same for me, I still sware there is an addictive agent in the popcorn because it's the only food smell on earth that affects me... Still. But I'm also from NYC, we are resourceful , I can sneak a Whole Foods salad in the theater without blinking 😎
When I don't want to eat, I drink coffee in the theater as it's a slow process and I usually have to get it done over, because apparently they set the carafe temp somewhere between how I feel about my Ex fiance and Dante's innermost circle of hell.