simon66

Thank you! It all sounds wonderful

Thank you Yazoo71! I hear you. I've spent the better part of the last 5 years doing just that, and actually putting up photos on the dating apps, and actually asking people to meet in real life on the very rare occasion that anyone actually messages me back. I haven't yet taken the very scary risk of asking someone out in person who I wasn't sure liked me or not, but I'm hoping to do that soon. It has just become too much. 44 years of saying 'someday' is too much when it appears like there are so many people out there who are able to be in relationships or even just date. It seems my world is filled with men who I can talk to but never touch. I think it will have to be the health concerns that drive my decision, as you say. I'm on a lot of meds now to, and this is way to early in life for diabetes and high blood pressure etc... to be such an issue. I'm curious what you meant by: I wonder if you could expound on that?

Hello all! So glad to find these boards, and particularly a group of gays talking about this. I'm a 44 year old gay male and I've been heavy all my life. I've had the 3 or 4 times in my life where I lost 40, 60, or once 80 pounds, and eventually put it all back on. I haven't even been to see a Bariatric surgeon yet, but I have some questions that I believe could be best answered by other gay men who have gone through what I am considering. So, if you have the time, I'd appreciate any replies. I'll try to be as succinct as I can. I really could write a book here, but the crux of the issue is this. Assuming that the men that I'm attracted to are not generally attracted to me (I've literally only been on 3 first dates and had 1 sexual experience in my life), and that my assumption is that those same people aren't likely to be attracted to the extra skin that comes as a result of losing so much weight, also that I'm 44 and youthful in appearance, largely because I have a full face, and losing weight would impact my appearance in that regard, and the fact that by the time I lose the weight and maybe have the resultant surgery to deal with the extra skin, I'll be closing in on 50 years of age, is it worth it, or should I just do my best to continue to try and accept myself and keep praying that eventually someone will like me? There are for sure other health related concerns that would impact my decision, but I'm kind of terrified that I'll go through all of this and end up no different on the other side. I just want to be able to date!