Tomorrow is surgery day, and I guess I'm going through the roller coaster of emotions that everyone does. I've been on the liquid diet for 7 days now, I cheated once and I had really mixed feelings afterward. Part of it was guilt, and a much larger part was a sense of entitlement that I felt that I had deserved it since I had done so well not cheating(ironic I know).
I guess I'm really anxious because I live so far away from my surgeon and her support staff, it's almost a 4 hour drive each way. I've met her once and was given a long list of things to take care of on my end, the GI clearance, Cardiac clearance, blood work, etc., and I never really bonded with anyone. Now my life is about to completely change, and I'm fine one minute and then it hits me and I almost feel like I'm drowning.
Been reading the comments here, and feeling better for the most part. Also realized I need to get a few things that I wasn't aware I'd need like lip balm, dry mouth spray, and a few other things.
Truth is I'm scared to go through with it now, and I'm scared not to do it. I turned 40 this past February, and I don't believe I can shed this extra weight with diet and exercise alone anymore. I'm scared that I'll get so big that I'll be trapped in my body alive but not living, and struggling just being.
Wish me luck!!