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SueSaBelle

Gastric Bypass Patients
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  1. Like
    SueSaBelle got a reaction from orange_lily in What is the best feedback your therapist ever gave you?   
    There are two things that helped me tremendously:
    1.) At my initial surgical consultation, the surgeon told me that after you gain 50 or more pounds, your body won't let you successfully lose weight without resetting your hormones. So all those times I lost weight, I was guaranteed to gain it all back and then some. Years of yo-yo dieting since I was in 7th grade added up and it wasn't because I didn't have any willpower or I needed to exercise more (I was constantly walking to train for the SGK 3 Day 60 mile events). When I heard this, I began to sob with relief from the weight being lifted off my shoulders.
    2.) When I went my therapist and told her about my Mom and the constant diets I was on since middle school (even though I was the smallest girl on my volleyball team), she made me look at things differently. She said that my Mom had horrible diet advice but I needed to remember that the advice was coming from a place of love. My Mom had seen how hard it was for my Aunt growing up and she didn't want me going through that. While it was difficult to hear this, it allowed me to forgive my Mom & myself and move forward. It has allowed me to quiet that inner voice and stop beating myself up for every little thing that I perceive that isn't perfect.
    Losing the weight is easy, I have done it at least 10 times. Keeping it off was the hard part. By doing the "head work" I am able to identify my triggers for comfort food and do something different like walk the dog, knit to keep my hands occupied while watching a movie with the hubby and chose healthier versions like cukes when I want something crunchy. Also I allow myself to eat a craving if I really want it. 4 Doves milk chocolate squares have a certain melt in your mouth texture that I love. Other brands of chocolate aren't the same. Every day, every meal, every bite is a choice you make. They all won't be the healthiest but I make sure if I am going to waste valuable stomach space on a food, that it is worth it. My husband laughs when I spit something into a napkin because to me it isn't flavorful enough or it doesn't have the right mouthfeel - this was when I was craving vanilla bean ice cream and nothing was right. When I talk to my surgeon, he told me to have the real stuff - just limit how much. Sure enough it only took one small scoop and then I didn't touch it again.
    Sorry for the rambling but I hope this helps
  2. Like
    SueSaBelle got a reaction from orange_lily in What is the best feedback your therapist ever gave you?   
    There are two things that helped me tremendously:
    1.) At my initial surgical consultation, the surgeon told me that after you gain 50 or more pounds, your body won't let you successfully lose weight without resetting your hormones. So all those times I lost weight, I was guaranteed to gain it all back and then some. Years of yo-yo dieting since I was in 7th grade added up and it wasn't because I didn't have any willpower or I needed to exercise more (I was constantly walking to train for the SGK 3 Day 60 mile events). When I heard this, I began to sob with relief from the weight being lifted off my shoulders.
    2.) When I went my therapist and told her about my Mom and the constant diets I was on since middle school (even though I was the smallest girl on my volleyball team), she made me look at things differently. She said that my Mom had horrible diet advice but I needed to remember that the advice was coming from a place of love. My Mom had seen how hard it was for my Aunt growing up and she didn't want me going through that. While it was difficult to hear this, it allowed me to forgive my Mom & myself and move forward. It has allowed me to quiet that inner voice and stop beating myself up for every little thing that I perceive that isn't perfect.
    Losing the weight is easy, I have done it at least 10 times. Keeping it off was the hard part. By doing the "head work" I am able to identify my triggers for comfort food and do something different like walk the dog, knit to keep my hands occupied while watching a movie with the hubby and chose healthier versions like cukes when I want something crunchy. Also I allow myself to eat a craving if I really want it. 4 Doves milk chocolate squares have a certain melt in your mouth texture that I love. Other brands of chocolate aren't the same. Every day, every meal, every bite is a choice you make. They all won't be the healthiest but I make sure if I am going to waste valuable stomach space on a food, that it is worth it. My husband laughs when I spit something into a napkin because to me it isn't flavorful enough or it doesn't have the right mouthfeel - this was when I was craving vanilla bean ice cream and nothing was right. When I talk to my surgeon, he told me to have the real stuff - just limit how much. Sure enough it only took one small scoop and then I didn't touch it again.
    Sorry for the rambling but I hope this helps
  3. Like
    SueSaBelle got a reaction from orange_lily in What is the best feedback your therapist ever gave you?   
    There are two things that helped me tremendously:
    1.) At my initial surgical consultation, the surgeon told me that after you gain 50 or more pounds, your body won't let you successfully lose weight without resetting your hormones. So all those times I lost weight, I was guaranteed to gain it all back and then some. Years of yo-yo dieting since I was in 7th grade added up and it wasn't because I didn't have any willpower or I needed to exercise more (I was constantly walking to train for the SGK 3 Day 60 mile events). When I heard this, I began to sob with relief from the weight being lifted off my shoulders.
    2.) When I went my therapist and told her about my Mom and the constant diets I was on since middle school (even though I was the smallest girl on my volleyball team), she made me look at things differently. She said that my Mom had horrible diet advice but I needed to remember that the advice was coming from a place of love. My Mom had seen how hard it was for my Aunt growing up and she didn't want me going through that. While it was difficult to hear this, it allowed me to forgive my Mom & myself and move forward. It has allowed me to quiet that inner voice and stop beating myself up for every little thing that I perceive that isn't perfect.
    Losing the weight is easy, I have done it at least 10 times. Keeping it off was the hard part. By doing the "head work" I am able to identify my triggers for comfort food and do something different like walk the dog, knit to keep my hands occupied while watching a movie with the hubby and chose healthier versions like cukes when I want something crunchy. Also I allow myself to eat a craving if I really want it. 4 Doves milk chocolate squares have a certain melt in your mouth texture that I love. Other brands of chocolate aren't the same. Every day, every meal, every bite is a choice you make. They all won't be the healthiest but I make sure if I am going to waste valuable stomach space on a food, that it is worth it. My husband laughs when I spit something into a napkin because to me it isn't flavorful enough or it doesn't have the right mouthfeel - this was when I was craving vanilla bean ice cream and nothing was right. When I talk to my surgeon, he told me to have the real stuff - just limit how much. Sure enough it only took one small scoop and then I didn't touch it again.
    Sorry for the rambling but I hope this helps
  4. Like
    SueSaBelle reacted to AZhiker in Now when I see MO people...   
    Sometimes I tally the percentage of OW or MO people in a room or in a store. Sure enough - right at the national average of 2/3. I never really noticed the numbers before - mainly because I was so worried about being the fat girl in the room. But actually, 2/3 of the population was right there with me. What a gift we have been given in WLS. Such a second chance at life. May we never take it for granted.
  5. Like
    SueSaBelle reacted to GreenTealael in Now when I see MO people...   
    Don't forget to counter their efforts with vegetable trays 😂
    food pressure can go both ways 🙌
  6. Like
    SueSaBelle reacted to FluffyChix in Now when I see MO people...   
    @Sheribear68 Ouch! So sorry to hear about your friend!!! ((hugs)) TG you are escaping that fate with every day of your lifestyle change!!!
    I know how you feel and can relate! And for anyone who is genuinely interested in hearing my journey and not just a rubbernecker, I will discuss the specifics. But for anyone else who looks at me, there is no doubt that I'm somewhat fanatical religious about making good choices--cuz like you, we have some big strikes we deal with.
    But sadly, no one likes reformed smokers or reformed alcoholics. So we do just have to live our lives. And sometimes the best testimony is through action rather than words. Live your life hon. Let your friends feel safe, coming to you when or if they are ready. ((hugs))
  7. Like
    SueSaBelle got a reaction from Mello1 in Who will you tell (or not tell) about WLS?   
    I have told anyone and everyone. I have found the more open I am, the more I am healing mentally and emotionally. I grew up in a household where you could never be less than perfect or show the World your "dirty laundry". My mother was the only one who was against surgery despite me needing to lose weight because of having osteoarthritis and needing a right total hip replacement. She told me I needed to have more willpower and eat less. Thank goodness for therapy and research.
    Everyone else has been pretty great. Surgery was 9-5-2018 so Thanksgiving was when I had my first meal with my extended family. I quietly put a little bite of everything on my plate while my Mother sat next to me watching. My cousin is the one who announced loudly "Is that all you are going to eat?" despite knowing I had RNY and she works in hospital administration. Interestingly enough, my Mom responded that I could always have more but why waste overfilling my plate. My husband just smiled and said, "I get to eat her leftovers" which made everyone laugh.
    My husband and I go out to eat pretty often and it has become normal for us to split a dinner or I take a lot home. You learn not to be embarrassed when asked if everything was okay because you leave so much food on your plate. I always reassure the waitstaff and say that I had stomach surgery so I can't eat much. If they ask more questions, I will answer them to the best of my ability.
    Everyone at work has been supportive. Food gets brought in quite often and I pick and chose what is best for me and my plan. sugar free doesn't always agree with my pouch and so sometimes I will have a few bites of something sweet. With me, I find that if I am told I can't have something, I will obsessively crave it. Often I will have a bite and it won't taste as good as I think it should so I won't eat it. I have learned that I don't have to clean my plate. People at work see the results of my choices and easily accept when I say no thank you and don't try to guilt me into eating. It probably also helps that I have also told everyone that I will be getting a left total hip replacement in January.
    All in all, do what is best for you. I found that as I lost weight, I became more confident with myself and my choices and other people's opinions didn't matter. The only opinion that did matter was my husband's. He found complimentary things to say when I was "morbidly obese" and still finds them now that I am "overweight". I could find many things that I don't like about my body but I chose to look at all the wonderful positive things that it allows me to do along with all the non-scale victories. And as the saying goes "what other people think of me is none of my business" - I am too busy enjoying my new life.



  8. Like
    SueSaBelle got a reaction from Frustr8 in Medical ID Bracelets   
    I ended up getting one from Lauren's Hope and use the same tag for different bracelets. Since I do some long distance training for the Susan G. Komen 3 Day, I wanted something just in case. I was able to put my name, RNY bypass with the date, Asthma, No blind NG tube, No NSAIDs, my husband's name & phone number and my doctor's phone number.
  9. Like
    SueSaBelle got a reaction from Mello1 in Who will you tell (or not tell) about WLS?   
    I have told anyone and everyone. I have found the more open I am, the more I am healing mentally and emotionally. I grew up in a household where you could never be less than perfect or show the World your "dirty laundry". My mother was the only one who was against surgery despite me needing to lose weight because of having osteoarthritis and needing a right total hip replacement. She told me I needed to have more willpower and eat less. Thank goodness for therapy and research.
    Everyone else has been pretty great. Surgery was 9-5-2018 so Thanksgiving was when I had my first meal with my extended family. I quietly put a little bite of everything on my plate while my Mother sat next to me watching. My cousin is the one who announced loudly "Is that all you are going to eat?" despite knowing I had RNY and she works in hospital administration. Interestingly enough, my Mom responded that I could always have more but why waste overfilling my plate. My husband just smiled and said, "I get to eat her leftovers" which made everyone laugh.
    My husband and I go out to eat pretty often and it has become normal for us to split a dinner or I take a lot home. You learn not to be embarrassed when asked if everything was okay because you leave so much food on your plate. I always reassure the waitstaff and say that I had stomach surgery so I can't eat much. If they ask more questions, I will answer them to the best of my ability.
    Everyone at work has been supportive. Food gets brought in quite often and I pick and chose what is best for me and my plan. sugar free doesn't always agree with my pouch and so sometimes I will have a few bites of something sweet. With me, I find that if I am told I can't have something, I will obsessively crave it. Often I will have a bite and it won't taste as good as I think it should so I won't eat it. I have learned that I don't have to clean my plate. People at work see the results of my choices and easily accept when I say no thank you and don't try to guilt me into eating. It probably also helps that I have also told everyone that I will be getting a left total hip replacement in January.
    All in all, do what is best for you. I found that as I lost weight, I became more confident with myself and my choices and other people's opinions didn't matter. The only opinion that did matter was my husband's. He found complimentary things to say when I was "morbidly obese" and still finds them now that I am "overweight". I could find many things that I don't like about my body but I chose to look at all the wonderful positive things that it allows me to do along with all the non-scale victories. And as the saying goes "what other people think of me is none of my business" - I am too busy enjoying my new life.



  10. Like
    SueSaBelle got a reaction from Mello1 in Who will you tell (or not tell) about WLS?   
    I have told anyone and everyone. I have found the more open I am, the more I am healing mentally and emotionally. I grew up in a household where you could never be less than perfect or show the World your "dirty laundry". My mother was the only one who was against surgery despite me needing to lose weight because of having osteoarthritis and needing a right total hip replacement. She told me I needed to have more willpower and eat less. Thank goodness for therapy and research.
    Everyone else has been pretty great. Surgery was 9-5-2018 so Thanksgiving was when I had my first meal with my extended family. I quietly put a little bite of everything on my plate while my Mother sat next to me watching. My cousin is the one who announced loudly "Is that all you are going to eat?" despite knowing I had RNY and she works in hospital administration. Interestingly enough, my Mom responded that I could always have more but why waste overfilling my plate. My husband just smiled and said, "I get to eat her leftovers" which made everyone laugh.
    My husband and I go out to eat pretty often and it has become normal for us to split a dinner or I take a lot home. You learn not to be embarrassed when asked if everything was okay because you leave so much food on your plate. I always reassure the waitstaff and say that I had stomach surgery so I can't eat much. If they ask more questions, I will answer them to the best of my ability.
    Everyone at work has been supportive. Food gets brought in quite often and I pick and chose what is best for me and my plan. sugar free doesn't always agree with my pouch and so sometimes I will have a few bites of something sweet. With me, I find that if I am told I can't have something, I will obsessively crave it. Often I will have a bite and it won't taste as good as I think it should so I won't eat it. I have learned that I don't have to clean my plate. People at work see the results of my choices and easily accept when I say no thank you and don't try to guilt me into eating. It probably also helps that I have also told everyone that I will be getting a left total hip replacement in January.
    All in all, do what is best for you. I found that as I lost weight, I became more confident with myself and my choices and other people's opinions didn't matter. The only opinion that did matter was my husband's. He found complimentary things to say when I was "morbidly obese" and still finds them now that I am "overweight". I could find many things that I don't like about my body but I chose to look at all the wonderful positive things that it allows me to do along with all the non-scale victories. And as the saying goes "what other people think of me is none of my business" - I am too busy enjoying my new life.



  11. Like
    SueSaBelle got a reaction from Mello1 in Who will you tell (or not tell) about WLS?   
    I have told anyone and everyone. I have found the more open I am, the more I am healing mentally and emotionally. I grew up in a household where you could never be less than perfect or show the World your "dirty laundry". My mother was the only one who was against surgery despite me needing to lose weight because of having osteoarthritis and needing a right total hip replacement. She told me I needed to have more willpower and eat less. Thank goodness for therapy and research.
    Everyone else has been pretty great. Surgery was 9-5-2018 so Thanksgiving was when I had my first meal with my extended family. I quietly put a little bite of everything on my plate while my Mother sat next to me watching. My cousin is the one who announced loudly "Is that all you are going to eat?" despite knowing I had RNY and she works in hospital administration. Interestingly enough, my Mom responded that I could always have more but why waste overfilling my plate. My husband just smiled and said, "I get to eat her leftovers" which made everyone laugh.
    My husband and I go out to eat pretty often and it has become normal for us to split a dinner or I take a lot home. You learn not to be embarrassed when asked if everything was okay because you leave so much food on your plate. I always reassure the waitstaff and say that I had stomach surgery so I can't eat much. If they ask more questions, I will answer them to the best of my ability.
    Everyone at work has been supportive. Food gets brought in quite often and I pick and chose what is best for me and my plan. sugar free doesn't always agree with my pouch and so sometimes I will have a few bites of something sweet. With me, I find that if I am told I can't have something, I will obsessively crave it. Often I will have a bite and it won't taste as good as I think it should so I won't eat it. I have learned that I don't have to clean my plate. People at work see the results of my choices and easily accept when I say no thank you and don't try to guilt me into eating. It probably also helps that I have also told everyone that I will be getting a left total hip replacement in January.
    All in all, do what is best for you. I found that as I lost weight, I became more confident with myself and my choices and other people's opinions didn't matter. The only opinion that did matter was my husband's. He found complimentary things to say when I was "morbidly obese" and still finds them now that I am "overweight". I could find many things that I don't like about my body but I chose to look at all the wonderful positive things that it allows me to do along with all the non-scale victories. And as the saying goes "what other people think of me is none of my business" - I am too busy enjoying my new life.



  12. Like
    SueSaBelle got a reaction from Flo-grown in Random Rant on Love. Rambling.   
    I really enjoyed reading your piece. It reminds me of what I was feeling about 9 years ago. I was 40 and my son was graduating from high school. I had been a single parent for 16 years who only dated when my son was at his father's house. Years of pressure from family to be normal - my Dad liked to say I did everything bassackwards - I got pregnant and refused to marry the father, I bought my own house and lastly got married. I believed in "soul mates" and everlasting love but still hadn't experienced it for myself. I wondered if I would ever be worthy of love and all the while my Aunt would tell me to stop worrying about it, work on loving myself and it would happen when I least expected it. I got tired of being the fifth wheel in social situations and dating was a nightmare.
    Needless to say, my Aunt was right. I met my husband at work - he was my partner for a few years. We would socialize on group outings so when he asked me to go to a play with him, I didn't even realize he was asking me out on a date. I was so use to being in the "friend zone" at work that it didn't register with me until he held my hand during the play. The next day I was still dazed and confused about how I felt - I never thought of him romantically and he definitely didn't fit my type. This was a good thing though. He was confident in who he was as a nerd and a father and in turn made me feel comfortable with myself. It is hard to describe that level of comfort. I didn't have to pretend to be something I am not, he liked how I looked without make-up, and didn't care how much I weighed. Over the past 7 years of marriage, his support and love have been constant through family strife and a couple of surgeries that I have had. I am no longer anxious about fitting in. I know my place is next to him and he is my best friend. Don't get me wrong - there are times when we argue and need our space. But I know that we will work things out because we do love each other and I will never doubt it. He does the quiet little things that show me his love, unlike others who have gone over the top to declare their love but don't stay true. Does it look like Hollywood ideal love? Some days it does with random dancing in the kitchen while making dinner together. Others days it's far from it with cleaning the toilet or all the other mundane household chores. Is it possible to have more than one "soul mate?" I think so but I also believe in God and that this relationship came along when it was suppose to. My husband tells me that he wishes we would have met in our twenties before he married his first wife. I tell him I love the thought but I don't think we would have appreciated each other if we met back then. Those earlier experiences helped shape who we are and what we would become. All I know is that I am grateful for him for loving me "just as I am" even though I keep changing.
    I hope you one day fine your "comfortable person."
  13. Like
    SueSaBelle got a reaction from rs in Favorite non scale victory   
    My favorite NSV was when my husband and I went to the new Little Ceaser's Arena for Pink's concert. I had never been but many people told me how small the seats were which became a huge anxiety fixation. Everyone knows that feeling...well my husband sat down first and had to squeeze in because in the first row of mezzanine the drink holders were on the arms of the seats and made it even more of a tight squeeze. He told me, "I don't know, honey, if I had to squeeze in, it might be tougher for you."
    I SLIDE IN EASILY AND HAD SPARE ROOM IN MY SEAT!!!!! I could even cross my legs in my seat. Yes, it was an amazing feeling to let all of the anxiety and stress go and enjoy Pink's amazing performance. My husband even apologized - he knew I weighed less then him now but that really demonstrated it.
  14. Like
    SueSaBelle got a reaction from Flo-grown in Random Rant on Love. Rambling.   
    I really enjoyed reading your piece. It reminds me of what I was feeling about 9 years ago. I was 40 and my son was graduating from high school. I had been a single parent for 16 years who only dated when my son was at his father's house. Years of pressure from family to be normal - my Dad liked to say I did everything bassackwards - I got pregnant and refused to marry the father, I bought my own house and lastly got married. I believed in "soul mates" and everlasting love but still hadn't experienced it for myself. I wondered if I would ever be worthy of love and all the while my Aunt would tell me to stop worrying about it, work on loving myself and it would happen when I least expected it. I got tired of being the fifth wheel in social situations and dating was a nightmare.
    Needless to say, my Aunt was right. I met my husband at work - he was my partner for a few years. We would socialize on group outings so when he asked me to go to a play with him, I didn't even realize he was asking me out on a date. I was so use to being in the "friend zone" at work that it didn't register with me until he held my hand during the play. The next day I was still dazed and confused about how I felt - I never thought of him romantically and he definitely didn't fit my type. This was a good thing though. He was confident in who he was as a nerd and a father and in turn made me feel comfortable with myself. It is hard to describe that level of comfort. I didn't have to pretend to be something I am not, he liked how I looked without make-up, and didn't care how much I weighed. Over the past 7 years of marriage, his support and love have been constant through family strife and a couple of surgeries that I have had. I am no longer anxious about fitting in. I know my place is next to him and he is my best friend. Don't get me wrong - there are times when we argue and need our space. But I know that we will work things out because we do love each other and I will never doubt it. He does the quiet little things that show me his love, unlike others who have gone over the top to declare their love but don't stay true. Does it look like Hollywood ideal love? Some days it does with random dancing in the kitchen while making dinner together. Others days it's far from it with cleaning the toilet or all the other mundane household chores. Is it possible to have more than one "soul mate?" I think so but I also believe in God and that this relationship came along when it was suppose to. My husband tells me that he wishes we would have met in our twenties before he married his first wife. I tell him I love the thought but I don't think we would have appreciated each other if we met back then. Those earlier experiences helped shape who we are and what we would become. All I know is that I am grateful for him for loving me "just as I am" even though I keep changing.
    I hope you one day fine your "comfortable person."
  15. Like
    SueSaBelle got a reaction from rs in Favorite non scale victory   
    My favorite NSV was when my husband and I went to the new Little Ceaser's Arena for Pink's concert. I had never been but many people told me how small the seats were which became a huge anxiety fixation. Everyone knows that feeling...well my husband sat down first and had to squeeze in because in the first row of mezzanine the drink holders were on the arms of the seats and made it even more of a tight squeeze. He told me, "I don't know, honey, if I had to squeeze in, it might be tougher for you."
    I SLIDE IN EASILY AND HAD SPARE ROOM IN MY SEAT!!!!! I could even cross my legs in my seat. Yes, it was an amazing feeling to let all of the anxiety and stress go and enjoy Pink's amazing performance. My husband even apologized - he knew I weighed less then him now but that really demonstrated it.
  16. Like
    SueSaBelle got a reaction from laura071693 in Menstrual cycles   
    Mine most definitely did. I use to be fairly regular (every 28 days) with heavy flows for 5 days before RNY on 9-5-2018. Now, I am very irregular with light flows and having hot flashes occasionally. Since I am 49, I have a feeling I am heading straight into menopause...yay me!
  17. Like
    SueSaBelle got a reaction from rs in Favorite non scale victory   
    My favorite NSV was when my husband and I went to the new Little Ceaser's Arena for Pink's concert. I had never been but many people told me how small the seats were which became a huge anxiety fixation. Everyone knows that feeling...well my husband sat down first and had to squeeze in because in the first row of mezzanine the drink holders were on the arms of the seats and made it even more of a tight squeeze. He told me, "I don't know, honey, if I had to squeeze in, it might be tougher for you."
    I SLIDE IN EASILY AND HAD SPARE ROOM IN MY SEAT!!!!! I could even cross my legs in my seat. Yes, it was an amazing feeling to let all of the anxiety and stress go and enjoy Pink's amazing performance. My husband even apologized - he knew I weighed less then him now but that really demonstrated it.
  18. Haha
    SueSaBelle reacted to FluffySaysForkIt! in Weight-loss funnies   
    Photoshopped Glamour Magazine: The Surgical Chic Edition.
    Special thanks to all the great guys/girls here who have given me a much needed laugh lately. See you on the bench Monday .💙

  19. Haha
    SueSaBelle reacted to FluffyChix in Weight-loss funnies   
  20. Haha
    SueSaBelle reacted to DanaC84 in Weight-loss funnies   
  21. Like
    SueSaBelle got a reaction from Frustr8 in Let's talk about body dysmorphia   
    This topic is still on my mind. FB has reminded me of where I was a year ago and I am able to look at myself and see that yes I was morbidly obese. When I compare a picture from yesterday's 15 mile training walk to a year ago when I was still recuperating from a total hip replacement, I can see what was obvious to everyone but me. I never talked about my weight since it was such a source of embarrassment and pain. Thankfully my husband sensed this and knew to never bring it up. When I did he was always supportive and even joined me in eating healthy.
    He has really helped me when it comes to the mental aspect of losing weight. For example, a few years ago we went to an amusement park with our middle child and friends to Celebrate their high school graduation. They took off and my husband and I made our way to a roller coaster. When we sat down and I couldn't get the bar to lock, I was shocked. I was mortified when I realized that I had to get up in front of all those people waiting in line. I could feel the judgey comments and disparaging remarks being muttered under their breath. My husband just got up and said this ride hurts my back - let's get out of here and go to the casino. Yesterday, he asked if I wanted to go back to the amusement park with the kids. While I told him yes, I also explained to him that our daughter wouldn't be able to fit any more because of her weight gain, even though she has a different body shape ( I am an apple and she gained hers in her bottom half and our daughter needed a seat belt extender on the last air flight). I explained that I don't want her to have to go through the same experience and how much I loved him for the way he reacted.
    I have vowed to keep taking pictures of myself and looking at myself in the mirror when I step out of the shower. I can see the flaws but then I remind myself that this body has been through some trials and allows me to do some amazing things that I couldn't have done a year ago.
    When the BMI chart had my doctor telling me I need to lose another 71 lbs, I laughed. Here is why: my job requires me to lift 50-100 lbs. I have been doing this for over 23 years. I have some muscle on me under all the fat. I showed him a picture of my coworker who is 5' 8" and weighs 180 lbs. She doesn't have an ounce of fat on her but is considered overweight, borderline obese. My surgeon understood that I will not be going by his chart. I will continue to follow my program and do the activities I love but I will not stress about getting down to a number on a scale. I want to be healthy and active, not sickly and weak just to say I can fit in a size 2 jeans. With my personality and competitiveness, I could easily fixate on that but it wouldn't be healthy for me. I don't have to have an "all or nothing" mentality. It can be one day at a time, making a healthy choice for that day. Because soon all those tiny individual choices add up to positive changes.

  22. Like
    SueSaBelle got a reaction from Panda333 in Let's talk about body dysmorphia   
    I was glad to stumble onto this topic. I have always found that I have denied how big or small I was. What makes me even angrier is looking back at my 7th grade picture I was the smallest girl on my volleyball team but my Mom made me feel like I was a whale with her comments and way of dieting. I realize that she loves me in her own way but her diet information was never good. I think it caused me to become an emotional eater which compounded problems.
    So how do you change 35 years of negative voices in your head that resemble your parents? Phrases like " You look wonderful in your bridesmaid dress but if you lost some weight, you would be stunning" (Dad) or "Men don't marry fat women so you better lose that weight" (Mom). It takes a therapist telling you that certain behaviors I grew up with were actually emotional abuse. It takes a husband who loves you no matter how much you weigh telling you over and over again that your Mother isn't always right. It is the realization that every morning I wake up, I no longer have that deep bone achiness and pain that I was use to and thought was normal. It comes from facing 50 and realizing that I will never become the tight toned 20 something that I could be if I just lost the extra weight. I know that life is always going to have problems and losing weight will not make them all magically go away.
    I have a ways to go but I am trying to be realistic about my weight loss and being happy and loving with myself as a person who is aging. I truly think coming here and reading about everyone else's experiences helps. I know that I am not alone.
    This article was very interesting to me: https://www.thecut.com/2013/11/what-no-one-tells-you-about-dramatic-weight-loss.html


  23. Hugs
    SueSaBelle got a reaction from Frustr8 in Spouse   
    My husband was against it until I needed a total hip replacement due to Stage 4 osteoarthritis at age 48. What really sealed the deal is when we went for the initial consultation and the surgeon explained how when our bodies reach a certain point they fight losing weight and how bad yo-yo dieting is and no matter how much you diet, it is not your fault that you can't lose weight. I began to cry when I heard that. For years my mother told me, "If you had more willpower, you could lose the weight." It really upset my husband to see me cry, because he thought I was generally happy and he never really noticed my extra weight. Since then, he has been 100% on board and my biggest help with the mental and emotional aspects of losing weight. He combats the negative voices in my head and I am learning that I am worth self-love.

  24. Hugs
    SueSaBelle got a reaction from Frustr8 in Spouse   
    My husband was against it until I needed a total hip replacement due to Stage 4 osteoarthritis at age 48. What really sealed the deal is when we went for the initial consultation and the surgeon explained how when our bodies reach a certain point they fight losing weight and how bad yo-yo dieting is and no matter how much you diet, it is not your fault that you can't lose weight. I began to cry when I heard that. For years my mother told me, "If you had more willpower, you could lose the weight." It really upset my husband to see me cry, because he thought I was generally happy and he never really noticed my extra weight. Since then, he has been 100% on board and my biggest help with the mental and emotional aspects of losing weight. He combats the negative voices in my head and I am learning that I am worth self-love.

  25. Hugs
    SueSaBelle got a reaction from Frustr8 in Spouse   
    My husband was against it until I needed a total hip replacement due to Stage 4 osteoarthritis at age 48. What really sealed the deal is when we went for the initial consultation and the surgeon explained how when our bodies reach a certain point they fight losing weight and how bad yo-yo dieting is and no matter how much you diet, it is not your fault that you can't lose weight. I began to cry when I heard that. For years my mother told me, "If you had more willpower, you could lose the weight." It really upset my husband to see me cry, because he thought I was generally happy and he never really noticed my extra weight. Since then, he has been 100% on board and my biggest help with the mental and emotional aspects of losing weight. He combats the negative voices in my head and I am learning that I am worth self-love.

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