Asil61

I have a friend that lost weight without WLS and she taught me some tricks about how to eat very little on dates and not attract a lot of attention. If you are dating and eating out all the time, you can easily gain weight, especially a woman that has a normal stomach so you have to learn how to eat without really eating too much.
I feel like men accept that you are not able to eat all your food when you order a lot of food. I order normal Entrees.
You just draw attention to the fact that you are not eating much by not ordering much. When you are eating very little and other people are pigging out, that makes them nervous and self conscious.
Salads with Protein are the best because you can eat all the protein some of the salad greens push it all around and they don't care. They don't want to eat salad either.
Split an appetizer with them, tell them you just wanted a taste and a big strong guy like them needs it more than you
I don't drink or smoke. I also look 10 to 12 years younger than I am. I claim my youthful looks are because I don't drink, smoke and I eat well. Really it is just genetics but they don't know my mom is in her 60s with no wrinkles.
Talking a lot and being engaging, they won't notice you aren't eating if you are flirting hard enough and have some good stories to tell.
You have to have a plan of attack before a date so you aren't caught off guard.
Also I think this is probably a hard sell for you, considering the area of the country you live in. Everyone on the coasts, or in other major metros are doing some kind of special diet, so most people don't bat an eye when you tell them you are low carbing.
Another thing to think about is, try to pick men that are into fitness. They are not going to expect a woman of a certain age to be a glutton. I go for the outdoors active types. The swimmers, hikers, cyclists, Water sports.

well, glad to know it's not me...lol A coffee date would be good for me, love coffee also I would not be feeling like I need to force food in me. I am not a one night stand by no means, so if they even mention going back to their place it's out of the question. and no more talking to them. Not looking for that kind of relationship.

Depends on what stage things are at. My hubby didn't call me every day early on. But once we were "dating" a couple of weeks in...we talked to each other every day. I called him and or he called me. If you are at that stage and a woman doesn't like that it probably Means she wasn't that into you. My hubby still calls me every day at work to see how my day is going. We've been together 10 years.

I don't think it is moving too fast either. That is pretty much expected behavior from a man that is seriously trying to court you. Men ask you on casual dates when they are trying to be casual. I have certain expectations on how I want to be treated and I expect a man to meet those expectations. I feel like if you ask someone out and they don't want to do that kind of date, then they are not the person for you. People should date like minded compatible people. The issue is, no one courts or dates like civilized people anymore. I am not with that Netflix and chill or sit in Starbucks like it is the library BS.
Back to OP. Dating is a numbers game, you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince. If you are serious about dating you need to date 2 to 3 guys at a time and let the best man win. Dating one guy at a time is a huge waste for a lot of reasons.
I always think after WLS we blame a lot of issues on WLS, when really it is just hard to find someone period.

That's a great attitude you have. I have on my experience that if you ask a woman to a ball game or a nice place for dinner they give you the slow down tiger bullshit. I am to do g that every woman is different and if you try to be respectful and not too fast and you invite to meet for coffee you are labeled like you just did. Its impossible to figure out the right way to start. I personally don't like when a woman says slow down tiger when all I'm tryi g to do is get to know her. Then sometimes I spend a good amount meet I g someone for dinner and they decide they don't want to see me again for whatever reason and cannot even be decent enough to tell me. They just ignore my messages, then I feel I just wasted $150 or whatever it cost. Might not be an issue for you, but I don't want to waste my money on someone who doesn't have a clue what they want. Can't win no matter what we do. I don't think asking a woman out to an event or a nice dinner is moving too fast and I'm not just trying to get in her pants. I want to know as much as I can about her and you cannot get that from email or texts.

Same here. That's why activity dates were reserved for second or more dates. I'm with you on that..it is very awkward to have to sit though a date that is going nowhere. That is why I kept them coffee or after work drinks. Easy out to say i have to get back to work for a meeting or have dinner plans gotta go!
You just need to keep at it. You will find someone you mutually click with. I find it is a bit of a numbers thing. It isn't you. Dating is hard. But you'll get into the swing. I ended up blogging about it. At the end of the day you wanted it to be a total disaster (great story) or preferably great (because that's why you are doing it).

@Asil61
Do you like seafood?
Mexican is a bad choice for a variety of reasons, mainly beacuse it is something that people volume eat. Most plates come with 3 to 4 tacos, so eating one stands out.
If you have to get Mexican, why not get Fajitas or Quesadilla? You say you low carb, lots of people low carb now, and just eat the meat and veggies. I do this a lot especially if I go to a sports bar or something and there are limited options on the menu. Just eating the filling from a Quesadilla is not that filling and if you say you low carb before hand, you don't raise eyebrows.

Well, I'm pretty smooth and charming so I want someone that is like me. I dress to impress and I want someone that matches and is comfortable with my lifestyle.
I don't think it is worth getting dressed, doing my hair and makeup for a coffee date. I know a lot of people don't share this perspective which is exactly why I adopted it. It weeds out a lot of men that are a waste of my time.
I used to do coffee dates like 2 years ago. I found that the kind of men that asked me out for coffee were not the kind of man that interested me, so I stopped doing it.
Guys that are introverts are going to ask you to coffee, they want to avoid crowded situations. These are exactly the men I want to avoid like the plague. I have negative interest in dating an introvert, being friends with one, or just associating with them in general. I am an extrovert and I like to be surrounded by other extroverts. I find introverts to just be energy vampires.
The coffee date guys are also just mass dating. They are doing coffee dates because it is a cheap way to check someone out without much time or money investment. Those guys are the real players. They ask you to coffee so they can verify how pretty you are or not, and then they ask you out on a real date if you pass the coffee date test. They ask you to coffee, then try to push it into dinner and invite you back to their place. Rolling 3 dates into one night with the goal of taking you to pound town.
A busy professional male with a worthwhile career doesn't have time for coffee dates if he is really looking for something real. Guys that are players are trying to date the most amount of women for the least cost and time investment. They are not buying concert tickets or taking you to MLB games.
I used to be a hiring manager in IT. I can gauge if I am going to click with someone in a few text messages. I am a good judge of character for the most part. After that I want to see how you act in public and what your mannerisms are like in a few situations. I like being out and about and doing lots of activity and things, always have. I want to avoid homebodies and the quiet evenings at home guys like the plague.
Since I refined my dating requirements, I am going on higher quality dates with higher quality men. Basically getting exactly what I want from dating.

Curious on how that has been working for you? I found that 100%of the times a guy was trying to impress me he was a player. The more charming or on point...the bigger the player. I was looking for relationship not hookup so I actually eliminated guys like that off the hop. I was looking for a guy who was just being himself. I wanted a guy who was not too smooth etc because I wanted real. I was lucky...found it in my hubby.
After 2 painful meals early on. One that I walked out on it was so bad...meals were a definite no. Too long and hard to end without being rude. quick coffee or wine dates are easy to end. I met my hubby for a drink after work....you can extend those if you want to but is an easy out if you want to.
I used first dates simply as a screening tool to determine if I wanted a "real" date.

Weirdly, I'm experiencing something similar even though I'm married - basically realizing how much of our conversations and activities have revolved around food! However, when I go out with friends it's often coffee (herbal tea for me at this point since I'm on the pre-op liquid diet), or a walk, or the beach - again, because the conversation is the important part. I agree with the above, try a non-food based activity at first. Best wishes to you!

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Are these first dates? When I was dating I NEVER did a meal for a first date. Dating 101... no more than a coffee date for a first date. If you aren't clicking the last thing you want to do is be stuck for an hour or more with the person. Activity dates are good as well, but I'd reserve for second dates. Don't think my husband and I went out for a meal until date 3 or 4 and he was too into me and the conversation to notice what I was or wasn't eating